Hi everyone,
I’m a 22-year-old guy and my girlfriend is 23. We’ve been together for around 15 months now. I wanted to ask—is there such a thing as giving too much attention or being too emotionally available that it starts to affect the relationship negatively, especially from the guy’s side?
I’m asking this because I’ve heard people say it, and to some extent, I’ve noticed it myself. In the beginning, I wasn’t fully invested—I didn’t give her as much time or attention. Ironically, that’s when she was getting more attached to me. Now, it’s the opposite. I’m deeply into her and always available, and I feel like the dynamic has shifted.
Also, I find it hard to say “no” to her, while she has no problem saying “no” to me when needed. It sometimes makes me feel like the balance is off.
So my question is—how do I handle this? Am I overthinking, or should I be creating more space and boundaries? I’d really appreciate any honest insight or advice.
TL;DR:
I (22M) have been with my girlfriend (23F) for 15 months. At first, I was less emotionally available and she seemed more into me. Now, I give her more attention and feel like the dynamic has flipped. I’m also hesitant to say no to her, while she says no to me easily. Can too much attention from a guy hurt the relationship? What should I do?
Comments
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In my experience, yes
Yes, too much attention and clinginess can negatively affect a relationship. It can create an imbalance where one partner feels overwhelmed or less engaged. Communication is key.
Define what is “too much attention”?
Yes, and this is my own bad behavior, but look at anxious attachment. It’s driven by underlying issues that need to be addressed to form healthy attachments.