New neighbors moved in, a couple and their father, and their friend or something. I spoke with the lady and she said her dad has Alzheimer’s. I don’t really know anything about it, I’m not sure if anything I do will affect him but I don’t want to disturb him or anything. I think he’ll have somebody with him at all times to take care of him and watch him.
Comments
Why would you have to do anything? Just live your life…weird question
Nothing to do really.
He may think he recognizes you as someone else. Don’t argue.
If you see him wandering by himself either gently coax him back to where he lives or get one of the people who live with him to come get him.
Get their phone numbers so you can alert them if you see him wandering by himself.
You’re a good person for thinking like this.
Good news, every couple days you can tell your new neighbor the best joke you know and it’ll be the first time they’ve heard it.
Just ask her.
Also understand that people with dementia sometimes wander, are sometimes highly inappropriate, imagine things, become very angry etc – this is not who they are or were – it is the disease.
The best thing is to be kind, be friendly, don’t overcorrect them (as it is very distressing to them). And always treat them with dignity.
I would get their contact number just incase he’s prone to wander off and you see him unattended. The best thing is usually to just go along with them if they talk about something you know isn’t true. They might think you are someone else just play along.
I remember the neighbors calling the police when my mom escaped out a window. The sitter had gone to the Black Friday sales and I’m having to drive back from the gym and explain that I was paying someone to be there. Both my parents had dementia and they both escaped when someone was supposed to be there so you calling the wife and not the police would be great!
Taking care of parents with memory issues is exhausting. If you’re tinkering around outside and don’t mind, and dad’s out, invite him over to come tinker with you. It’s really nice to see them experience joy and being included. Most of the time things are a battle.
[removed]
Get a camera for outdoors. Get numbers of neighbors around that area. Get numbers of more than one family member of that neighbor. You’ll need it trust me
Always meet them where they are. If he ends up on your doorstep looking for his dog Fido who died in 1976, you say you’ll help him look, have a seat while you go grab your shoes (and call his family.)
Each time you run into him he may have different abilities than last time, don’t mourn that loss in front of him please. He will feel your sadness and disappointment but not comprehend it’s source.
Develop your own version of Alzheimer’s. Appreciate each day he’s around as if it’s the first time. The guy you talk to today likely isn’t going to be ‘there’ tomorrow so take joy in who he is right now and let him see you be glad to see him. It helps. Not just him, but it will help his caregivers to see it too.
If you interact with him don’t be alarmed if he forgets something you have said or gets angry.
Make them cookies. They’ll all enjoy the cookies.
Bring them dinner every now and again.
When I first moved in the gate to my yard had a padlock on it. I thought that was odd. I soon learned that was because my neighbor would get confused and come into my yard and “clean it” thinking it was his. Some times he would leave us “gifts” like some tomatoes. He would bring in trash cans from all over the neighborhood, I’m sure he was trying to be helpful, but he brought them all into his backyard. So he’d have 20-30 trash cans behind his house and everyone else would be emailing the neighborhood listserve asking if anyone saw their can.
It was not a great situation. I’m sure his family thought they were doing what was best letting him stay at home, not putting him away. People would come by and shovel when it snowed, and visit. But he didn’t have nearly enough supervision given how far gone he was. Everyone in the neighborhood looked out for him and knew him, but he couldn’t hold down a conversation.
As someone who works with people with dementia everyday, if you ever get in a conversation or interaction with him, just join him in whatever world he’s currently in.