“I’m a sexual predator, better alert the neighbors ‘cause they desperate housewives is just my flavor. Darth Vader, pullin’ out my light saber, and they like my hard candy, call it Now and Later”
Stfu by pink guy (joji) honestly the whole song is just too funny especially if you hear his most recent music. And the first time I heard this song was when I was having an argument with one of my ex friends 😂 I honestly should’ve sent it to her
“Hey listen guys its not that difficult
All you gotta do is change -mas to holiday
You know instead of sayin white -mas
You gotta say im dreamin of a bleep holiday
Why did I get bleeped?”
“You have to say Caucasian”
“So I have to sing Im dreamin of a Caucasian Holiday”
‘I got a freaky ol’ lady name a cocaine Katy who embroideries on my jeans
I got my poor ol’ grey-haired daddy driving my limousine
Now it’s all designed to blow our minds but our minds won’t really be blown
Like the blow that’ll get ya when you get your picture on the cover of the Rolling Stone’
Dr. Hook – The Cover of the Rolling Stone
I had to Google the exact wording but it cracks me up when I listen to this song.
When I turn on my TV nothing but pornography no more rated G in a perfect world
Also I think
Someone dropped a steamer in the gene pool. Angry mob mentality is no longer the exception it’s the rule. I feel like charlton Heston Stranded on a primate planet apes and orangutans ran it into the ground
There’s a face in every window of the songwriters’ neighborhood.
Everybody’s your best friend when you’re doing well – I mean, “good.”
– Warren Zevon, “Genius.”
It constantly makes me laugh that Akon was trying to find the words to describe this girl without being disrespectful, and after exhausting all options, under absolutely no pressure whatsoever, he landed on “sexy bitch”
The entire lyrics of the 1930’s song “my girls pussy” by Harry Roy , but particular these two sections simply because the idea that this song came out nearly 100 years ago makes me chuckle.
Often it goes out at night
Returns at break of dawn
No matter what the weather’s like
It’s always nice and warm
It’s never dirty, always clean
In giving thrills, never mean
But it’s the best I’ve ever seen
It’s my girl’s pussy
I’ve only ever heard the part of the song that plays at the President’s birthday party in National Treasure: Book of Secrets, but I remember it because the line was “is it still over? Are we still through? Since my phone still ain’t ringin’, I’ll assume it still ain’t you.”
“Flipping this one final switch I’m effectively insuring that I will be
Overcoming all resistance long after my remains have been
Vaporized with extreme prejudice and shot into outer space”
“🐦There’s a picture opposite me, of my primitive ancestry-which stood on rocky shores and kept the beaches shipwreck free. Though, I respect that a lot. I’d be fired if that was MY job. After killing Jason off and countless screaming Argonauts! 🐦”
“Thought I was a horse the way I put the team on my back.
Thought I was a horse the way I took a beating for that.
Thought I was a horse the way my dick look bitch!”
First time i heard this song I died laughing at his delivery of that line! He’s got amazing swag and flow when rapping that he really can say anything, and it lands, imo!
I’d say Kanye’s newer song… I think we all know the one, “sayin’ I’m actin’ like Hitler But how am I actin’ like Hitler When I am a fucking ——“it’s just so stupid after all that he did
I thought I had to tell you, had to put it in a letter
But I thought fuck that I’d write a song it’s much better.
The only way to do it, to really let you know
I could prove it because I gave it a blow.
It was purely accidentally because she got me really drunk
And she made me kiss her elephant trunk.
You know why? That’s right
Your mother got a penis.
>Around the fire doing a thunder dance
>You know what’s a funny word? “Underpants.”
>Let’s go to Syria and have a war
>Stop fuckin calling me Macklemore
I wrote her off for the tenth time today
And practiced all the things I would say
But she came over I lost my nerve
I took her back and made her dessert
Now I know I’m being used
That’s okay man ‘cause I like the abuse
Now I know she’s playing with me
That’s okay ‘cause I’ve got no self-esteem
Oh yeah, yeah oh yeah, yeah
Oh yeah, yeah oh yeah, yeah
We make plans to go out at night
I wait ‘til 2 then I turn out the light
This rejection’s got me so low
If she keeps it up I just might tell her so
Oh yeah, yeah oh yeah, yeah
Oh yeah, yeah oh yeah, yeah
When she’s saying, oh that she wants only me
Then I wonder why she sleeps with my friends
When she’s saying, oh that I’m like a disease
Then I wonder how much more I can spend
Well I guess I should stick up for myself
But I really think it’s better this way
The more you suffer
The more it shows you really care, right? Yeah
Now I’ll relay this little bit
Happens more than I’d like to admit
Late at night, she knocks on my door
Drunk again and looking to score
Now I know I should say no but
It’s kind of hard when she’s ready to go
I may be dumb but I’m not a dweeb
I’m just a sucker with no self-esteem
Oh yeah, yeah oh yeah, yeah
Oh yeah, yeah oh yeah, yeah
When she’s saying, oh that she want’s only me
Then I wonder why she sleeps with my friends
When she’s saying, oh that I’m like a disease
Then I wonder how much more I can spend
Well I guess I should stick up for myself
But I really think it’s better this way
The more you suffer
The more it shows you really care
Right?
Yeah yeah yeah
Comments
The Lapdance is always better when the strippers is crying.
Anything by Weird Al!
You’re easy breezy, and I’m Japaneesy
“I’m a sexual predator, better alert the neighbors ‘cause they desperate housewives is just my flavor. Darth Vader, pullin’ out my light saber, and they like my hard candy, call it Now and Later”
“You can criticize me all the way to the bank, my single’s number one and Shabba don’t rank”
–Jim Carey spoofing Snow Informer
“When in doubt, I whip it out. I got me a rock and roll band, it’s a free-for-all.”
Stfu by pink guy (joji) honestly the whole song is just too funny especially if you hear his most recent music. And the first time I heard this song was when I was having an argument with one of my ex friends 😂 I honestly should’ve sent it to her
“I’ll bring home the turkey if you bring home the bacon!” – Weezer
Oooooh Nani Nani!
Let’s go old school…
> Pardon me sir. Did you see what happened?
>
> Yeah, I did.
The song is more funny with other lyrics.
“Hey listen guys its not that difficult
All you gotta do is change -mas to holiday
You know instead of sayin white -mas
You gotta say im dreamin of a bleep holiday
Why did I get bleeped?”
“You have to say Caucasian”
“So I have to sing Im dreamin of a Caucasian Holiday”
“Im sure that wont offend anyone”
-Kung Pao Buckaroo Holiday by Brad Paisley
Go go gadget dick
“Electricity comes from other planets” – velvet underground
Won’t you play with my ding-a-ling?
How the fuck do magnets work
I don’t like country, but a few years ago was driving MIL car in AZ. Heard the best line every.
Half of me wants a beer, and the other half does too.
The best thing and most country lyric I’ve ever heard.
‘I got a freaky ol’ lady name a cocaine Katy who embroideries on my jeans
I got my poor ol’ grey-haired daddy driving my limousine
Now it’s all designed to blow our minds but our minds won’t really be blown
Like the blow that’ll get ya when you get your picture on the cover of the Rolling Stone’
Dr. Hook – The Cover of the Rolling Stone
I had to Google the exact wording but it cracks me up when I listen to this song.
That Rubberband Man’s a doozy!
Moves so quick–make me feel woozy!
You tell your boyfriend if he says he’s got beef, that I’m a vegetarian and I ain’t fucking scared of him
“He said do you want it pasteurised, because pasteurised is best. She said ‘Ernie, I’ll be happy if it comes up to my chest’ “
“The cretins cloning and feeding and I don’t even own a tv” Flagpole Sitta
“I don’t want to see a ghost
That’s the sight that I fear most
I’d rather have a piece of toast
And watch the evening news”
Yes, this is a real song.
Drop Kick me Jesus through the goal posts of life.
Mukluk, macadamia, gazebo.
Dear ol Dad, God rest his soul
He’d wake up in the morning
and smoke a bowl.
Smack my mom upside the head,
“Make me a sandwich” is what he said.
I just found out that a train go “choo-choo”
When I turn on my TV nothing but pornography no more rated G in a perfect world
Also I think
Someone dropped a steamer in the gene pool. Angry mob mentality is no longer the exception it’s the rule. I feel like charlton Heston Stranded on a primate planet apes and orangutans ran it into the ground
There’s a face in every window of the songwriters’ neighborhood.
Everybody’s your best friend when you’re doing well – I mean, “good.”
– Warren Zevon, “Genius.”
“Real Gs move in silence like lasagna” –Lil Wayne
(the word lasagna has a silent g)
Em’s new one about R Kelly. Had me dying.
My bitch foreign don’t know where she from ain’t trying to be racist, I don’t fuck with n****s im racist.
-Juice Wrld
Fuxk me in the ass because I love jesus
https://youtu.be/j8ZF_R_j0OY?si=-XfIrFrqgfEbPW-T
And since one man’s trash is another man’s treasure, you gets no part of my weed but you can have my bitch Heather, shit😭😭
Bitch stank like a fishtank
Now take that shampoo bottle and stick it up my ass-Adam Sandler, At a Medium Pace
🎶You know I got the rizzz the rizzness🎶 As someone who listened to kpop I could probably make a whole playlist of songs with funny lyrics tbh😭
“OooooooOooooohhh BbAaaaaBbbaaayyyy!!! SQqqqqquuueeeezzze mYyyy LEMON!!!”
“F’in magnets. How do they work?”
Miracles by ICP
It constantly makes me laugh that Akon was trying to find the words to describe this girl without being disrespectful, and after exhausting all options, under absolutely no pressure whatsoever, he landed on “sexy bitch”
Well, here comes Johnny with his pecker in his hand
He’s a one-ball man, and he’s off to the rodeo
We fired our cannon til the barrel melted down
Then we grabbed an alligator and fought another round
We filled his head with cannonballs and powdered his behind
And when we touched the powder off –
The gator lost his mind!
Battle of New Orleans- Johnny Horton
Interior crocodile alligator, I drive a Chevrolet movie theater
Some people believe in astrology
Others believe in technology
Some people believe in all those “ologies”
But I believe in swordfish
He believes in swordfish
I believe in Happy Days
I believe in Joanie Loves Crotchie
I believe in all that TV crap
And I believe in swordfish
He believes in swordfish
Came up from the ghetto with the help of my stiletto
Every day I hear the people groan
Why should we buy postage stamps?
We can make our own
We may be doing something wrong
We could be running a little too long
I guess we better end this song
I say I believe in swordfish
He believes in swordfish
Swordfish, Dead Milkmen
Last birthday, she got you a new sweater. Put it on, give her a kiss, and tell her; do better.
A mosquito my Labeato
He done bustin’, but I’m suckin until he pee
You and me baby ain’t nothing but mammals, so let’s do it like they do on the discovery channel!
“Twice a week
I take a peek
As you bathe
Like a reptile (ooh)
I catch your eye
And you throw your sponge
It’s a soaking projectile”
– I Love You 5 Times, The Darkness
Such a ridiculous band. Love ’em.
“Freaky ass n****, he a 69 god”
So if you call us Ginge
You can’t whinge if you’re injured
If you don’t have a tinge
Of the ginge
In your minge
“She got a light-skinned friend look like Michael Jackson/Got a dark-skinned friend look like Michael Jackson”
I just made you say under where.
Bitch you give a fucking aspirin a headache
I’m my own grandpa.
It sounds funny I know.
But it really is so.
I’m my own grandpaaa!
I went home with the waitress
The way I always do
How was I to know
She was with the Russians, too
“Lawyers, Guns and Money” by Warren Zevon
“Why does it hurt when I pee” … “it jumped right up, and grabbed my meat”. ~Frank Zappa
“Good for nothing, bad in bed. Nobody likes you, you’re better off dead. Good-bye, nobody likes you good-bye.”
The Hell Of It by Paul Williams
The entire lyrics of the 1930’s song “my girls pussy” by Harry Roy , but particular these two sections simply because the idea that this song came out nearly 100 years ago makes me chuckle.
Often it goes out at night
Returns at break of dawn
No matter what the weather’s like
It’s always nice and warm
It’s never dirty, always clean
In giving thrills, never mean
But it’s the best I’ve ever seen
It’s my girl’s pussy
“You keep saming when you ought to be changing” These Boots are Made for Walking
Tittyfuck your baby mama she breastfeeds your child while I do it. Simply so obscene it’s funny.
She tells him she’s in church but she doesn’t go still she’s on her knees and Scotty doesn’t know.
Song was killed long ago by karaoke bars but the lyrics still make me smile.
Julie Cassidy,
Went to a field behind a tree.
Saw there was no one who could see
Her pee…but me!
Because I got high…. 🎶
😄
You’re playing minecraft, in a cave, looking for diamonds.
That’s funny, I’m in the same cave…
When I’m alone at night
I sit and fantasize
And in my fantasies I love you long time
Doing my nine to five
I gotta make you mine
Funniest Song Lyric?
Frank Zappa literally did a 4 side concept album about the time he put his dick in a vacuum cleaner when he was a kid.
Joes Garage.
I’ve only ever heard the part of the song that plays at the President’s birthday party in National Treasure: Book of Secrets, but I remember it because the line was “is it still over? Are we still through? Since my phone still ain’t ringin’, I’ll assume it still ain’t you.”
I want to meet your madre, pay my respects to your padre, mi amor
“T-t-t-Tell your boyfriend, If he says he’s got Beef,
That I’m a vegetarian And I ain’t Fucking scared of Him.”
She’s ten pounds of sugar in a five pound sack. I… is that lyric calling her fat??
“Never seen The Price Is Right. I’m a lie; I’ve been on that shit since ‘99”
“Billy Shakespeare wrote a whole bunch of sonnets” -LFO “Summer Girls”
It’s just a fact.
Philosophy is useless, theology is worse. Dire Straights, Industrial Disease
And when you say hello, I say hallo. When you say no, I yell Nein!
“Crop top with some biker shorts, I’m showing off my moose knuckle” -GloRilla, TGIF
We asked for Mojo Nixon, they said “He doesn’t work here.”
Remember when I moved in you
and the holy dove was movin too?
And every breath we drew?
Was hallelujah???
I cringe laugh every time
“It’s alright, I don’t blame you Boo. Cause if I was you? I’d hate me too.”
I like my sugar with coffee and cream
It all began when I went on a tour,
Hoping to find some furniture.
I followed a sign – it said “Beautiful Chest”.
It led to a lady who showed me her best.
She was taken by surprise when I quickly closed my eyes.
“She got a light skin friend look like Michael Jackson, she got a dark skin friend look like Michael Jackson”
It all began when I went on a tour,
Hoping to find some furniture.
I followed a sign – it said “Beautiful Chest”.
It led to a lady who showed me her best.
She was taken by surprise when I quickly closed my eyes.
Cause I’m married to you, baby, and I don’t even know your name.
Dropped my drawers and the btch said sht, Skinny motherfcker with a fat ass dck.
“Flipping this one final switch I’m effectively insuring that I will be
Overcoming all resistance long after my remains have been
Vaporized with extreme prejudice and shot into outer space”
“I’ll Be Haunting You” by They Might Be Giants
On the low dawg, I’m tired of this fat shit
Apple bottom jeans and the boots with the fur…….the only time I will sing along to a song. Hilarious 🤣!
“I’m tryna find the words to describe this girl
Without bein’ disrespectful
Damn, girl
Damn, you’s a sexy bitch, a sexy bitch.”
I hate the artist, but… “I gotta whirlpool, don’t even ask. Lickin’ pu$$y underwater, shootin’ bubbles up her a$$.”
I get more ass than a toilet seat
“🐦There’s a picture opposite me, of my primitive ancestry-which stood on rocky shores and kept the beaches shipwreck free. Though, I respect that a lot. I’d be fired if that was MY job. After killing Jason off and countless screaming Argonauts! 🐦”
If you like piña coladas… and getting caught in the rain’ — bro, that sounds like the worst first date ever.
I got stopped by a lady cop in my automobile
She said get out and spread your legs, and then she tried to cop a feel
get crazy with the cheez whiz
But not a real green dress, that’s cruel
BNL
Sneakjng up like celery, I’m stalking!
I’ll wear your skin
“Hey all you people! Hey all you people! Hey all you people won’t you listen to me…”
-that fish from spongebob
This is not a song, its a sandwhich
“☔
This condition I got is crucial.
You could say that I′m a terminal case!!!
You could burn up my clothes!!!!
…SMASH up my ride!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well…maybe not the ride….☔”
Prof – Horse
“Thought I was a horse the way I put the team on my back.
Thought I was a horse the way I took a beating for that.
Thought I was a horse the way my dick look bitch!”
First time i heard this song I died laughing at his delivery of that line! He’s got amazing swag and flow when rapping that he really can say anything, and it lands, imo!
🎵 “Took my boy to the barnyard and sat him down to supper. Now he got choked on a turkey leg and stuck his nose in the butter…”
Late at night, I write my own movie
And I am the star when I close my eyes
Except I look like Julia Roberts
And you’re just the poor jerk that I walk on by
~Trisha Yearwood, “For a While”
I’d say Kanye’s newer song… I think we all know the one, “sayin’ I’m actin’ like Hitler But how am I actin’ like Hitler When I am a fucking ——“it’s just so stupid after all that he did
Think you’re really righteous?
Think you’re pure at heart?
Well I know I’m a million times as humble as thou art!
Nine Pirate girls, pirate girls, pirate girls nine
(One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine)
One named Polly had a parrot
The second named Polly had a parrot, too
That’s the part that is confusing
And they were identical twins
The third was Nancy, she was fancy
Walked around with a fake tattoo
And four through nine were all named Peggy
And each one only wore one shoe
You’ve been telling me you’re a genius since you were seventeen, in all the years I’ve known you I still don’t know what you mean.
Picture this, I’m a bag of dicks, put me to your lips
I’m like Carrie Bradshaw with a back brace on
I been carrying you bitches now for way too long
Eyes wide shut never gave a fuck 😂😂 I love this lyric
Anything by Flight of the Conchords
If you see Kay
I thought I had to tell you, had to put it in a letter
But I thought fuck that I’d write a song it’s much better.
The only way to do it, to really let you know
I could prove it because I gave it a blow.
It was purely accidentally because she got me really drunk
And she made me kiss her elephant trunk.
You know why? That’s right
Your mother got a penis.
Your Mother’s Got A Penis – Goldie Lookin’ Chain.
“I told her I’m so happy I could die.
She said, ‘Drop dead’, then left with another guy.”
Put a quarter in the juke. Boogie ’til you puke
-Root Boy Slim and the Sex Change Band
>Around the fire doing a thunder dance
>You know what’s a funny word? “Underpants.”
>Let’s go to Syria and have a war
>Stop fuckin calling me Macklemore
Mac Miller – Erica’s House
🎶…with the help from my hellhounds, tinkles and Gary.. 🎶
Ninja Sex Party… pretty much all of their songs are hilarious
Peaches come feom a can, they where put their by a man.
I had an 8 track and spare tire in the back seat, but that’s flat.
A wizards staff has a knob on the end.
And a hedgehog can never be buuuuuuuggered…. At all!
My dick is like supersized
Yo dick look like two fries
-Mickey Avalon
This whole song
Self Esteem
Song by The Offspring
I wrote her off for the tenth time today
And practiced all the things I would say
But she came over I lost my nerve
I took her back and made her dessert
Now I know I’m being used
That’s okay man ‘cause I like the abuse
Now I know she’s playing with me
That’s okay ‘cause I’ve got no self-esteem
Oh yeah, yeah oh yeah, yeah
Oh yeah, yeah oh yeah, yeah
We make plans to go out at night
I wait ‘til 2 then I turn out the light
This rejection’s got me so low
If she keeps it up I just might tell her so
Oh yeah, yeah oh yeah, yeah
Oh yeah, yeah oh yeah, yeah
When she’s saying, oh that she wants only me
Then I wonder why she sleeps with my friends
When she’s saying, oh that I’m like a disease
Then I wonder how much more I can spend
Well I guess I should stick up for myself
But I really think it’s better this way
The more you suffer
The more it shows you really care, right? Yeah
Now I’ll relay this little bit
Happens more than I’d like to admit
Late at night, she knocks on my door
Drunk again and looking to score
Now I know I should say no but
It’s kind of hard when she’s ready to go
I may be dumb but I’m not a dweeb
I’m just a sucker with no self-esteem
Oh yeah, yeah oh yeah, yeah
Oh yeah, yeah oh yeah, yeah
When she’s saying, oh that she want’s only me
Then I wonder why she sleeps with my friends
When she’s saying, oh that I’m like a disease
Then I wonder how much more I can spend
Well I guess I should stick up for myself
But I really think it’s better this way
The more you suffer
The more it shows you really care
Right?
Yeah yeah yeah
Moons side boob
Arctic monkeys
🎶 Fuck Me, Ray Bradbury
The Smiths. “Writing frightening verse to a buck – toothed girl in Luxembourg.”
Man, I shoulda seen it comin’, what’d I stick my penis up in?
“Tell your boyfriend if he says he’s got beef, that I’m a vegetarian and I ain’t fuckin scared of him”
Swear to God got dick game
Bitch made bitch stank like a fish tank
Old mother Hubbard went to the cupboard to fetch her old dog a bone. When she got there, the cupboard was bare and the dog had a bone of his own
George Clinton’s Family Series
“Bustin’ makes me feel good”
-Ghostbusters
And we played the first thing that came to our heads and it just so happened to be, the best song in the world, it was the best song in the world
“It’s hard to clap with your dick in your hand dude”