*near not war
I’m about 11 weeks postpartum and diagnosed postpartum depression. I’ve been feeling super resentful at my partner as he doesn’t help me on nights occasionally. I won’t go into all the nitty gritty, but we had a couple near relationship-ending fights. We have never fought quite like this before. Horrible things were said on both sides. A couple things he said intentionally to hurt me I can’t get out of my head: like “I’m not attracted to you and haven’t been for months.” He took it back right away and said it was just to hurt me, as I told him “I hate you”. So it’s not good. In fact, it’s terrible.
Normally we are very loving. The other day I asked him to take baby at 5am, he worked at 7 and it was a rough night for me. He was mad her diaper was dirty, he couldn’t get her to sleep then brought her back to me 30 mins later saying she’s hungry. I took her and said nothing, feeling angry and resentful and not wanting to fight. It built as I didn’t get back to sleep and sleep deprived, hormonal me nagged him quite a bit in the morning about how shitty that was as he never takes her for me so I can sleep and I can’t continue on like this. He mocked my voice, said he wanted to break up, and slammed the door in my face. I was absolutely horrified as he’s never done anything like this before. I took her word that we were over; and he of course backpedaled. I almost wanted to end it there. He’s agreed to work on things, and be more supportive on nights. We both apologized. But I can’t shake the hurt from all the things he said and the awful behaviour. I’m no saint either.
TLDR; just had a baby and bf and I had a near relationship ending up fight, he’s not as supportive as I need, and I’m depressed a moody. I said not nice things to him, and he said things to hurt me back. The wounds linger and I feel it’s changed us, can we come back from it and how?