My boyfriend (19m) and I (18F) have been dating for a year now and the topic of kids came up.
We are not having one rn but hypothetically we were discussing what their names would be.
He wanted to name them after his best mates and I disagree with that.
Now a little context- i don’t really get along with them.
He got offended that i disagree. He says that they have been for him since day one and he would do anything for them. I still stood ground, saying that the child would be mine as well and i get to participate in whatever the name would be.
He spent an 30min trying to persuade me as if we are actually having a child. But i ended on the note that they are your friends not mine and they haven’t really done anything significant in our life (yes his too) to give them that title. He got super offended and upset.
His friends are very childish, immature, f boy/ girl typa people, in my eyes.
did i say anything wrong here?
TLDR: my boyfriend wants to name a hypothetical child after his friends, but I disagree because i don’t get along with them.
Comments
Option 1
Do not have kids with that man
Option 2
Have kids, name them what you want, his preferred name can be a middle name or a nickname, let it be the name you call the child when you are upset with the child and the child says “uh oh, she called me that? I gotta go, fellas!”
18 and talking about kids (hypothetically?) – lol – keep it hypothetical.
Honestly who cares? Just play the silly hypothetical game. You’re 19 – you won’t marry this bloke.
Trust me: most of the friends you have at 18 won’t be friends when you are ready to have kids in your late 20 or early 30s.
You are the company you keep.
If you don’t like your boyfriend’s friends, dump the boyfriend, especially if he likes them so much he tries to steamroll you on naming your kids after them.
Plus, what the fuck, that would be so confusing for the poor kids? At least when you’re named after your dad or grandparents you don’t call them by your own shared name. “Hey Andy, check this out!” and your kid comes over thinking his father’s talking about him but no, it’s the asshole he’s named after
Well I’ll say this exchange shows that not having kids or planning to at this time is a wise move.
No, you aren’t in the wrong. It is common for people to name their kids after people who are important to them, but it does need to be a mutual decision.
Also FYI, you can tell a lot about a person by the company they keep, so between that and this exchange, you might want to reevaluate your future with this person. I mean that in the kindest way possible as someone more than double your age.
Everyone acting like it’s dumb to discuss these things is immature. It’s very smart to know if you’re compatible in these things, as it may become real someday, whether it’s with him or not. It’s very much not unreasonable to be opposed to this, and it should be a serious conversation if it’s a serious relationship. If you disagree strongly, you either need to come to a compromise/ conclusion, or find someone more aligned either way your wants and views.
if you stay together long enough & this convo comes up again 7/8 years down the line, he likely won’t still feel like he wants to name his kids after his best friends… unless he still hasn’t grown up by then yet