We’ve been together for over eight months. She loved me deeply in the beginning, while I was slower to open up. Over the past couple months, I’ve been changing — I’ve started loving her more, becoming more committed and aligned with her.
But recently, she lied to me, and ever since then she’s been distant and cold. That moment broke my trust. I asked her for transparency so we could heal, but she said she doesn’t want to show me anything and just wants time alone. All of this added to my suspicions.
We had a long, emotional talk. She admitted she feels like she lost herself and is tired of being patient for me to love her back the way she did. I told her I have been changing for her and trying harder. I asked if she could help rebuild trust. She said she can’t change, doesn’t want me to be patient anymore, and doesn’t know what the solution is. When I expressed how much this is hurting me, she said it hurts her too and that she might leave the country or move away because she can’t stand seeing me like this. At one point, she told me that if I could just trust her blindly — closing my eyes and ears — I wouldn’t regret it.
I’m the one trying to hold things together, but she avoids the issue and pushes me away. She won’t help find a solution, and now I feel like I’m the only one fighting for the relationship.
TL;DR:
My girlfriend [20F] broke my trust and became distant. I [24M] tried to rebuild and asked for honesty, but she said she loves me but she’s tired, doesn’t want to fix things, and might leave elsewhere without even a proper breakup. Though She also told me to trust her blindly and I wouldn’t regret it. I feel like I’m carrying the relationship alone.
My question is:
What are some healthy ways to deal with this kind of emotional disconnection and lack of effort from a partner? How do others handle being the only one trying to fix things — especially when the other person says “just trust me blindly” but won’t work to rebuild that trust?