I(25F ) and my husband (24M) only been married two years now. My husband’s friend came to visit for a weekend and they booked a hotel to have fun. He called couple pf his other friends and decided to hangout and i was totally fine with it. But at 2am i got a call to open the door. Him and one of his friends showed up hammered i let them crash in the sofa then I decided to go through his recent apps just to find out him checking the reviews to near by strip clubs, one thing about him he always checks reviews before going anywhere and does his research . We had talked about him going to stip clubs before i used to tease him and he always sounded so uninterested and brushed me off saying i never have to worry about it. I feel like he broke my trust , he knew I would never be okay with it. (Also We go through each others phone all the time) he made a hugeee deal about me searching up a co worker from work on ig and i had to apologize about that like a hundred times. I had my sister over since he was gonna spend the night w his friends and i was showing my sister all our old pictures and telling her about our story while he was out putting dollar bills on someone else’s gstring. Man idk how to feel about it, what should i do? Should I confront, should I act like idk? Am i overreacting?
TL;DR: My husband went to strip club behind my back knowing I wouldn’t be okay with it.
Comments
You are not going to like my answer but you guys are too young to be in relationship. He is going to explore his desires as he gets closer to thirty to define what kind of man he real is. What desires are for him what are not for me.
Could this lead to breakup? Likely hood is very possible!
I would confront him personally. I have zero tolerance for that bullshit.
What else is he hiding? What else is he not telling you? That’s what you need to ask yourself. Is this what you want to deal with for the rest of your life?
I’ve really never understood why men like to go to those places, and that may sound strange coming from a man, but it just seems really cheap, sleazy, icky, etc. How can you get turned on looking at women that you most likely would catch an STD from if you actually slept with? I mean, it’s just disgusting all around.
I can’t stand a liar and I know my husband has lied to me about things in the past but one thing that never bothered me is when he’d go to strip clubs. I think the not caring about it must’ve taken the fun out of it because he used to call me sometimes from the strip club. I remember something specifically went really well for him in his career and he proceeded to call me and we talked about it for about an hour when he could have been sitting there throwing money at the girls. We’ve been married 34 years, and he has long quit the clubs.
I would confront him and tell him he can stay sleeping on the sofa. Maybe imply you’re going out for drinks with your coworker so he can know what it feels like to have your spouse do something you’re not ok with (don’t actually do this, I just feel vengeful on your behalf).
Some people are OK with partners going to strip clubs, he knows you are not but did it anyway. Let him know his actions have disrespected you and your relationship.