I (F25) said hurtful things about my boyfriend (M26) during our breakup, and now it’s affecting our relationship after getting back together

TLDR: My boyfriend and I broke up for a few months and got back together recently. During the breakup, I vented to a friend and said hurtful things about him that I later forgot about. He found out by backreading our old messages, and now he’s distant and has trouble trusting me. I love him and want to fix things, but I don’t know how to rebuild that trust or if I’ve damaged things too much.

Hi Reddit, I really need some advice. My boyfriend and I have been together for 1 year now but this isn’t our first time dating. We were in a relationship before that lasted around 9 months, then broke up for a couple of months and now we’re trying again. During that breakup, I was in a really dark place. I was heartbroken and overwhelmed with pain. I ended up venting to a close friend and said things I deeply regret, things I didn’t even fully mean. I downplayed his achievements and made it sound like I was the one who carried him. I also said some other hurtful things out of frustration and sadness. I eventually forgot I even said those things.

Fast forward to now: we’re back together, trying to make it work. We exchanged social media accounts and one day, he ended up backreading the old conversation I had with my friend. That’s how he found out. Since then, he’s changed. He’s become more distant, more avoidant, and I can sense that he doesn’t trust me the same way. It hurts me so much to see him pull away, and I know it’s my fault. I’ve apologized, I’ve explained where I was emotionally when I said those things, and I’ve tried to reassure him that I don’t see him that way at all but I don’t know if it’s enough. How do I rebuild trust after something like this? Is there anything I can do to make things right and show him that I love and respect him now more than ever? Or have I done irreversible damage?

Any insight would mean a lot.