So, this is a bit weird, but I’ve lost hope. I (f20) am in my first relationship with my boyfriend (m24), and I’m really strict on values. He’s my first everything, and we’re living together now, and honestly, everything is great except for one thing. When we have sex (or try), I get so blocked physically because of my anxiety. On top of that, I keep thinking about him and his ex. He’s my first, but I’m not his, and it makes me think about their past, especially since I know their sex life seemed perfect. Each time we try, I want it to work so bad, but it just hurts so of course after I feel bad, and can’t stop crying because I feel like I disappoint him and he deserves better. I know the first few times hurt for most girls but by now for sure it’s just my anxiety and thoughts.
It’s causing me so much stress. How do I get past this? Am I horrible for feeling this way?
tl/dr: I’m in my first relationship and am struggling with anxiety and comparison to my boyfriend’s past, especially when we try to be intimate. I can’t stop thinking about him with his ex, and it’s affecting my experience.Am I the problem?