So I had this raccoon problem. One night I saw it digging through my trash like it owned the place. I banged a pan to scare it off. It just looked at me, unbothered, and walked away like, “Okay, dude, chill.”
The next night? It brought a friend.
Next night? Three raccoons. By night four, it looked like the Fast & Furious crew of trash pandas had assembled outside my house. I tried everything—motion lights, vinegar, blasting Taylor Swift. Nothing worked. I swear one of them flipped me off once. Then it escalated. I opened my door one night and found my trash neatly dumped in a circle like some kind of offering. I don’t know if they were mocking me or summoning something. Eventually, I caved and bought one of those expensive animal-proof bins. Haven’t seen them since. I still leave out a peace offering slice of bread every Friday, though. Just in case.
TL;DR:
Tried to scare one raccoon. It brought friends. I accidentally started a turf war and lost. Now I pay raccoon taxes in bread.
Comments
Buy a Roman Candle or a few of them.
Point and light them off at the raccoons.
Doesn’t matter if you actually get one or not.
They will run like Hell and not return.
Guaranteed.
Be grateful they didn’t complete the summoning of Raccthulhu! 🤣
Hornet spray.
You put on the helmet and they know you know what they know you know. Leave or hope you can win.