Hey, born and raised the first 6 years in Poland, then moved to Germany. So I spend my whole schoolyears in Germany, and my adult life. I live German. I think German. I speak German like a native person whereas my Polish really stayed at a age 6.
Yes my children will learn Polish, eat polish food, have 12 dishes on Christmas and have hundreds of aunts, uncles, cousins across the globe where they’ll spent summer breaks.
With my family we speak Polish, my mum and grandma, aunts ect. Me and my cousins who were born in Germany speak German to each other. Their kids don’t speak Polish anymore. I was lucky I got to spend 6 years there before moving, so I can read and write ect.
Moved from the UK to the Netherlands when I was 7. Definitely Dutch now. Although I do have a full english breakfast in the weekend sometimes and like to drink my tea with milk.
Well, Yugoslavia doesn’t exist anymore, but I love Bosnia and Herzegovina and I adore my family. I’ll always be happy to visit, I’d die to protect my Bosnian family. But it’s not really my culture.
I have a very Czech sense of humour and way of thinking. My mentality is Czech. I was born a Muslim and ended up as just another Czech atheist. I just tend to be much more patriotic than most Czechs and I’m deeply grateful to this country, so that does get reflected. My children will always know our extended family and traditions, I will teach my children the language and history of the Balkans, some of my favourite family meals. But other than that, my family is Czech.
I’m Polish but when I was 7 me and my family left to live in Ireland. Lived there til 21, then studied abroad for 1 year and ages 22-26 (present) live in Switzerland.
My English (I think in English) is definitely better than my Polish (I can speak and write pretty well, but hesitate a bit) but I wouldn’t say that I feel Irish and even less so the longer I am away from Ireland. I like a lot of aspects of Irish culture but you can never know all the nitty gritty details without having Irish family. I don’t really know things like Irish legends and sayings despite spending all my school years there. The older I got, the less Irish I felt but at the same time I also knew that I wanted to leave Ireland for a ton of other reasons. Sometimes it’s hard to know whether I don’t identify as Irish at all because I simply don’t want to ever live there again, or because of not identifying with Irish culture.
You can never truly blend in as Irish with an obviously foreign name and without an Irish passport.
That said, I wouldn’t really say I feel Polish either because I don’t know much about Polish culture, jokes, saying, customs, etc. I only visited a few times since I left. Now as an adult I’m trying to read and watch a bit of Polish content online to know what’s going on a little more in my ‘homeland’.
My wife grew up in Spain, moved to the Netherlands when she was a teenager (and naturalised as an adult), and her parents are from neither country. I still have no idea what she’s going to answer when someone asks her where she’s from.
Born in Germany, moved to France at 10 years and lived there for 10 years, moved back to Germany for further 10 years, now living in Japan.
All I can say that I feel European, more than specifically French or German. In fact, I find it easier to connect with Frenchies than with Germans, as the teenage years made a big impact on my interests.
My kids are learning German through a special school and other languages through Duolingo.
As for the culture, we keep both German and Japanese traditions alive.
Eg, coloring Easter eggs together.
Born in France, lived there until 7. The rest of my life I spent in the Netherlands. I definitely feel more Dutch. This became especially clear when I followed exchange programs in other countries. I can connect to French people to some level, as I speak the language. But I always get feedback about my slight accent and my basic attitude is not French. For example I value self-deprecating humour, directness, lack of hierarchy and courtesy, efficiency, etc.
There are still things I don’t like here in the Netherlands (current politics, systemic racism, don’t stick out), but I do feel more comfortable here. And nowhere is perfect.
Mostly French. My whole family is French, my culture is French, though it’s closer to the culture of my parents’ time than of my own. I get nervous interacting with French people my age due to that, but have no issues with older French people. Food, fashion, etc. are much more French-like in me than English. I never watched English TV and read a mix of English and French books.
I think in English since I live with my Flemish partner and we speak English together, and live in Flanders where I speak English daily. My French is perfectly fluent, whether spoken, written or thought.
Education though is fully English. I know embarassingly little of French history and classic literature. I know far too much about the Tudors.
English people pick up fairly quickly that I’m not English. French people can slowly clock me as maybe not fully French over time, especially if they’re my age.
My kids will speak French, no questions asked, they will be French citizens, maybe UK citizens if I feel the need for that.
I have UK citizenship since recently (Brexit forced our hands…) but I don’t and probably will never consider myself English. Not due to any negative reason, just cos it’s not me.
Ah… My mother is German my father is Egyptian. I was born in Saudi Arabia, but when I was 3 ½ we moved to Germany. My first language is German and so is half of my family. On the other hand when it comes to culture, I feel like I was more raised with egyptian culture. Society treats me as Arab, not as German. Overall, I feel more arab than German.
For my future kids, I primerely want to teach them my religion, both languages and for culture, just how I grew up.
Born in the US but moved to the UK (England, near London) aged 2 and lived there till I was 25. I sound very much English, did all my education in England and worked in England till I left. I have an English father but an American mother so I still get called a sort of yank by ppl I know (you’d have no idea if you didn’t know me or met my mother). I definitely feel far more English than American (although definitely more European nowadays. I love living in Sweden), even if I struggle to accept the status and standing of the country.
Born in Hungary, raised in Sweden with Hungarian parents. Let’s just say that the developments in Hungary the last 20 years have made me distance myself from that country to the point that I’m hesitant to visit it with my kids.
I feel I was made to answer that question in a somewhat extreme way 🙂
Born in Italy, elementary school in UK, then boarding school in Germany in Swiss, with family then living in Spain. Finished school in Germany. Studied in Spain and Germany with 2 semesters abroad in Netherlands and France. By that time my dad had moved to China and my mom to Finland. So that’s where I spent my holidays. My dad now lives in Italy, my mom in Germany and Finland. I’m currently in Spain. My sister in the UK. We meet in France in summer.
We always spoke the language of the country we were currently living in. My parents were very strict with learning the local language and being part of the community.
At the same time, my parents respectively taught us their mother language. English and German (mom), Italian and Spanish (dad).
We moved so many times, I feel at home in a lot of places. What I don’t have are “roots”.
There’s a few places I “come home to” but none that’s THE ONE.
Both my parents are “mutts”, how we like to call ourselves, my mom half German half British, my dad half Sicilian half Argentinian.
We kids always called ourselves Europeans. We connect with many places and countries. And speak a couple languages. And we always moved and travelled a lot.
So what’s our identity? Well, that. We’re all of those. It’s always funny when people ask the simple question where are you from? What are we talking about, where I was born, raised, where my parents are from, where I live? Where I work? There’s different answers.
And while I sometimes envy people who have one home, a place they can go back to, a clearly defined cultural identity, and a biography that is so much more steady and linear than mine, I’m proud of our lifestyle, how we easily adapt and move between countries and cultures, and the experiences we can share.
And as to teaching your kids, like I mentioned my parents taught us all the languages and helped us connecting with the culture we were living in.
I have more than one job today, maybe that’s also fruit of that lifestyle, one of them is private language teacher. I love helping people discovering new paths, settling down in a new place, inventing themselves new. Most of my clients are people who move to a new country, families, execs, expats, immigrants, adventurous people. Sometimes a whole company.
So tldr, the more cultures you’re exposed to, the bigger the tree grows. You just add new worlds, you don’t categorize or rank them anymore. They all become a part of you.
I’ve really enjoyed reading the stories in this thread—so many kindred souls! Thought I’d share mine too.
My father is Italian, my mother is Croatian (though technically, she left her homeland when it was still Yugoslavia). They met in Britain, and that’s where I was born and raised, all the way through university. I suppose that makes me one of those so-called “third culture kids.”
I speak all three languages fluently, though the way I use them varies: I can only write academic papers in English—doing it in the other two would feel uncomfortable. I have a pretty strong Yorkshire accent in English, a slightly foreign-sounding Italian, and a regional Croatian that often makes people chuckle because I still speak a version of the language from before Yugoslavia broke up (if you know, you know).
I’ve always been hyper-aware—probably made hyper-aware—of my linguistic identity, but never really struggled with my cultural one. I feel like I belong to all three countries… and to none of them at the same time.
As an adult, I moved to Italy to teach English, but I feel a slightly deeper emotional connection to the Croatian side of my family. My manners and sense of humour are definitely more British, but deep down, my core is Mediterranean.
I’m also quite idealistic about Europe—I feel genuinely European (as corny as it sounds) and very much at home wherever I go on the continent. That’s why Brexit hit me so hard. It still does, to be honest—I haven’t fully come to terms with it.
One thing I really appreciate about my personal European identity is that it’s what I’d call a “weak” identity, in a positive sense. It’s made me allergic to nationalism, jingoism, and imperialism, and I’m genuinely happy about that.
I was born in Poland and moved to Sweden. technically I was raised in both countries. I really don’t feel any connection to either of the cultures. Frankly speaking, I don’t really understand the concept of connection that well.
Hmm maybe depends on the age. I was approaching early teenage years when I moved and I think it’s 60/40 or even 70/30 with my birth country winning, even though I’ve now lived more than half of my life in the country I’ve moved to. It’s about the temperament, the values, the overall attitude, and the small cultural differences in everyday life. I do intend to teach my native language to my kids eventually.
i was born in poland and moved to northern ireland at 6. i’m currently 20, 21 in october. ni is a unique place to grow up because a lot of people already struggle with national identity, so it’s very hard to relate to if you weren’t born here or have parents who were born here. in the house we all speak polish, eat polish food and do polish traditions, so i feel a bigger connection to my home country.
I feel no connexion to my parents culture of origin. When I was younger my parents were told to not teach me their mother tongue, they did anyways, or at least tried to, but I refused to learn because I recognised it as a waste of time.
I don’t plan on teaching my children aspects of my parent’s inferior culture. After all, I worked hard to escape it.
Born in Poland but moved to Germany when i was 3 or 4. I do speak Polish and still travel there for holidays or to visit my grandma but other than this i am fully German. Whenever i go there it usually takes few days to get used to how different people are. I do have a child and try to teach her some basic Polish but that’s it.
UK born but lived in Germany for five years as a kid (still speaking English as I went to English schools). Studied abroad in Germany for a year as an Erasmus student. Have lived in France now for over twenty years, but German still seems the easier language to speak than french; I’ve no idea why!
Not european but can relate: I was born in Beijing, moved to Canada when I was 4 (not old enough to learn how to read/write, but old enough to speak). Went back to China for a good chunk (~2 years) of my undergrad through an extended exchange program, and learned to read/write my “mother tongue” as an adult. Now back home in Vancouver but moving to Germany permanently for work in ~3 months.
English is by far my primary language. My parents’ broke up and remarried after we immigrated, and I grew up speaking English at home with my mom (who put a massive effort into integrating into Canadian/English-language culture) & my white stepdad. I consume the same good ol’ american media everybody here does. I can think in Chinese, but it’s really weird and disassociating, sorta like a stroke victim that knows what they want to say but can’t find the words (because sometimes I can’t).
However, since I moved after I was old enough to talk, but never really improved on it for ~16 years, I kept the old-style Beijing accent that I learned as a kid, whereas the rest of the country moved towards standard Mandarin, which is “softer”; The point being that any Mandarin speaker can instantly place that I’m “from” Beijing, which paints me as “one of them”, but I have very little of the cultural background that normally comes with this.
This is to say that while I definitely feel a closer connection with Canada, I have an abnormally easy time (at least initially) making Chinese friends, who feel a close cultural connection with me even when I cannot really reciprocate. Classic third culture kid problem, I suppose.
If I have kids I definitely plan on teaching them Mandarin: Lee Kuan Yew details here exactly why much better than I ever could. His comments target the Asian diaspora, but I think they are easily generalizable imo.
Born in the US to Polish parents but was raised very Polish and moved to Poland at the age of 18 with my mother. I have always felt more Polish than American as a child but felt the pressure to be more American from society there.
Fast forward 20 odd years I’m married to a Polish man I’ve spent my entire adult life living between Poland and Ireland, my identity is firmly rooted in being Polish as an adult.
I guess being surrounded by a large Polish diaspora in Ireland helped cement this and of course being married to a Polish man for a decade as well. Speaking, reading and writing fluently in Polish has also helped. I notice because I speak without an accent in Polish, I am instantly seen as being Polish by other Poles no questions asked.
Born in Austria, raised in Italy, each right in the border. Mum’s from Austria and dad’s from Italy but from that region that used to be Austrian a hundred years ago and speaks predominantly German.
I feel connected to both and I moved to Austria as an adult but I feel like it doesn’t really count cause the culture is so similar and many of the languages, customs and traditions is the same.
Born in Spain to British parents and moved to the UK when I was six. I’m definitely British/English rather than Spanish, but I certainly feel a deep-rooted connection to Spain, which prompted me to learn the language as best I could. Obviously, I’ll never be a native speaker, and I’d never call myself Spanish (unless I move back and get the passport, maybe…), but I like settling on my identity as a “Spanish-born Brit” 🙂
Mine is not so extreme.
I was born in the Netherlands and moved to Belgium when I was six. I am 31 now and still live in Belgium.
My Dutch is on a spectrum between “Noord Hollands”(NL) and “Antwerps” (BE). It’s never 100% on one side.
I am in the Netherlands almost weekly, and I do feel “Belgian” when I am in the Netherlands, while I definitely feel Dutch when I am in Belgium.
I feel a strong connection to both countries. Even though l don’t see myself moving away from my hometown (Antwerpen) for good. Maybe for a set amount of time.
I also love the Netherlands but i am so used to living in Belgium. Have my whole life figured out here. On top of that I am also used to the travel it takes to go to my birthplace to see family.
I feel inherently connected to both countries. And often call myself a Beneluxian :’)
I can barely speak Hungarian and while I feel a connection that’s hard to describe, follow some customs and cook some Hungarian dishes regularly (vegan version tho which makes me a freak to most Hungarians), I feel deeply divided from actual Hungarians, even (or especially?) my own family that lives in Hungary. I try to keep in touch with the people and culture, though, and would make sure my kids learned Hungarian if I ever had any (not from me though. I’d hire someone to teach them).
I speak much better German than any other language and am more familiar with the culture, but I still feel the same divide. Like most immigrant kids, I used to want to belong here and be accepted pretty desperately, but at this point I’m okay with the fact that that will never happen no matter how much I assimilate. Accepting this was kind of freeing, as if I’d given myself permission to exist just the way I am.
Like a lot of others in this thread, I feel European more than anything, and at this point I think that’s pretty great. It gets lonely at times, though, because most people around me either have no personal experiences with emigration at all, were born long after their parents/one foreign parent had already settled down, or immigrated as adults. I relate to all of them somewhat, but not fully. Seeing so many people express feelings so similar to mine made me feel less alone, so thanks for asking this question, OP 🙂
Born in the Soviet Union (Kazakhstan). Moved to Germany when I was 7. I still speak Russian to my parents and basically a mixture of Russian and German to my siblings (who are much older than me, so I guess they feel more Russian than me), but my German is tremendously better than my Russian and I think my level is below a regular Russian 7-Year old, but the language intuition for Russian is still there. Still rolling the R slightly, though. Sometimes people notice it, some do not.
I feel quite specifically Northern German where I spent most of my life and also feel a lot closer closer to the Scandinavian Countries than to Kazakhstan or Russia. I even learned Danish to some extent, which is the closest neighbor from my location. After moving away, I have never visited any former Soviet Countries and I don’t miss it.
Nevertheless, family events are still quite Russian, I guess.
Born in Switzerland, from a German father and an Italian mother. My grandparents were Russian, Polish, French and Spanish respectively. I grew up surrounded by all these different cultures, traditions and languages. I also lived in different countries, mainly for work, including UK, The Netherlands and Australia. I feel European.
I feel more Swedish than Finnish, but not completely. I’m like a hybrid Finnish Swede. I was born in Finland and lived there half of my childhood. The other half and my adulthood I’ve lived in Sweden. I’m a Swedish citizen and feel like Finland is a bit foreign to me. But there are a lot of Finnish cultural aspects that are an integral part of me.
I will never be completely Finnish or completely Swedish, but I could never move back to Finland, I think. I’m too Swedish for it.
I was born and raised in the UK but in 1977 at age 27, I moved to France with my then girlfriend who was French. Since then I have spend most of my life and career living in France, Belgium, the Netherlands, Thailand and finally Luxembourg where I live currently. I don’t really feel like I belong anywhere and I am sure I’d find the narrow minded xenophobic bullshit in my homeland, the UK, impossible to tolerate!
I’m European and a citizen of the world – that’s that!
Dad French, mum Danish. First language English, then Danish, then French. Speak Danish with mum, speak French with dad and brother. Born in France, moved to New Zealand at age 4 for a year, moved back to France for 3 years, moved to England just before my 9th birthday, have had a gap year in Denmark (since I turned 18 in August) for the last 0.5 year. I have been on holiday in Denmark for an average of 4 weeks per year and 2 weeks per year in France.
I’d say I feel Danish, although I do feel not 100% Danish when speaking with other Danish people (my Danish isn’t as good as the natives). I never felt British when I was in England, although sometimes I miss the culture. I’ve lost my connection to France for a few years now, mostly due to not going on holiday as frequently.
Comments
I feel more connected to the culture of where I live now.
Yes, I plan to incorporate a few aspects of my parents’ cultures into my kids’ lives.
Hey, born and raised the first 6 years in Poland, then moved to Germany. So I spend my whole schoolyears in Germany, and my adult life. I live German. I think German. I speak German like a native person whereas my Polish really stayed at a age 6.
Yes my children will learn Polish, eat polish food, have 12 dishes on Christmas and have hundreds of aunts, uncles, cousins across the globe where they’ll spent summer breaks.
With my family we speak Polish, my mum and grandma, aunts ect. Me and my cousins who were born in Germany speak German to each other. Their kids don’t speak Polish anymore. I was lucky I got to spend 6 years there before moving, so I can read and write ect.
Moved from the UK to the Netherlands when I was 7. Definitely Dutch now. Although I do have a full english breakfast in the weekend sometimes and like to drink my tea with milk.
Born in Denmark, 0-6
–> grew up in France 6-21
–> moved back 21-now
Lived in France with Danish mum & Scottish step-dad.
I gave up a long time ago trying to belong somewhere. I’m European lol, as corny as it sounds.
Also.. ‘it is what it is’
The country I was raised in, 100%.
Well, Yugoslavia doesn’t exist anymore, but I love Bosnia and Herzegovina and I adore my family. I’ll always be happy to visit, I’d die to protect my Bosnian family. But it’s not really my culture.
I have a very Czech sense of humour and way of thinking. My mentality is Czech. I was born a Muslim and ended up as just another Czech atheist. I just tend to be much more patriotic than most Czechs and I’m deeply grateful to this country, so that does get reflected. My children will always know our extended family and traditions, I will teach my children the language and history of the Balkans, some of my favourite family meals. But other than that, my family is Czech.
I’m Polish but when I was 7 me and my family left to live in Ireland. Lived there til 21, then studied abroad for 1 year and ages 22-26 (present) live in Switzerland.
My English (I think in English) is definitely better than my Polish (I can speak and write pretty well, but hesitate a bit) but I wouldn’t say that I feel Irish and even less so the longer I am away from Ireland. I like a lot of aspects of Irish culture but you can never know all the nitty gritty details without having Irish family. I don’t really know things like Irish legends and sayings despite spending all my school years there. The older I got, the less Irish I felt but at the same time I also knew that I wanted to leave Ireland for a ton of other reasons. Sometimes it’s hard to know whether I don’t identify as Irish at all because I simply don’t want to ever live there again, or because of not identifying with Irish culture.
You can never truly blend in as Irish with an obviously foreign name and without an Irish passport.
That said, I wouldn’t really say I feel Polish either because I don’t know much about Polish culture, jokes, saying, customs, etc. I only visited a few times since I left. Now as an adult I’m trying to read and watch a bit of Polish content online to know what’s going on a little more in my ‘homeland’.
My wife grew up in Spain, moved to the Netherlands when she was a teenager (and naturalised as an adult), and her parents are from neither country. I still have no idea what she’s going to answer when someone asks her where she’s from.
Born in Germany, moved to France at 10 years and lived there for 10 years, moved back to Germany for further 10 years, now living in Japan.
All I can say that I feel European, more than specifically French or German. In fact, I find it easier to connect with Frenchies than with Germans, as the teenage years made a big impact on my interests.
My kids are learning German through a special school and other languages through Duolingo.
As for the culture, we keep both German and Japanese traditions alive.
Eg, coloring Easter eggs together.
Born in France, lived there until 7. The rest of my life I spent in the Netherlands. I definitely feel more Dutch. This became especially clear when I followed exchange programs in other countries. I can connect to French people to some level, as I speak the language. But I always get feedback about my slight accent and my basic attitude is not French. For example I value self-deprecating humour, directness, lack of hierarchy and courtesy, efficiency, etc.
There are still things I don’t like here in the Netherlands (current politics, systemic racism, don’t stick out), but I do feel more comfortable here. And nowhere is perfect.
Moved to the UK from France aged 7.
Mostly French. My whole family is French, my culture is French, though it’s closer to the culture of my parents’ time than of my own. I get nervous interacting with French people my age due to that, but have no issues with older French people. Food, fashion, etc. are much more French-like in me than English. I never watched English TV and read a mix of English and French books.
I think in English since I live with my Flemish partner and we speak English together, and live in Flanders where I speak English daily. My French is perfectly fluent, whether spoken, written or thought.
Education though is fully English. I know embarassingly little of French history and classic literature. I know far too much about the Tudors.
English people pick up fairly quickly that I’m not English. French people can slowly clock me as maybe not fully French over time, especially if they’re my age.
My kids will speak French, no questions asked, they will be French citizens, maybe UK citizens if I feel the need for that.
I have UK citizenship since recently (Brexit forced our hands…) but I don’t and probably will never consider myself English. Not due to any negative reason, just cos it’s not me.
Ah… My mother is German my father is Egyptian. I was born in Saudi Arabia, but when I was 3 ½ we moved to Germany. My first language is German and so is half of my family. On the other hand when it comes to culture, I feel like I was more raised with egyptian culture. Society treats me as Arab, not as German. Overall, I feel more arab than German.
For my future kids, I primerely want to teach them my religion, both languages and for culture, just how I grew up.
Born in the US but moved to the UK (England, near London) aged 2 and lived there till I was 25. I sound very much English, did all my education in England and worked in England till I left. I have an English father but an American mother so I still get called a sort of yank by ppl I know (you’d have no idea if you didn’t know me or met my mother). I definitely feel far more English than American (although definitely more European nowadays. I love living in Sweden), even if I struggle to accept the status and standing of the country.
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Born in Hungary, raised in Sweden with Hungarian parents. Let’s just say that the developments in Hungary the last 20 years have made me distance myself from that country to the point that I’m hesitant to visit it with my kids.
I feel I was made to answer that question in a somewhat extreme way 🙂
Born in Italy, elementary school in UK, then boarding school in Germany in Swiss, with family then living in Spain. Finished school in Germany. Studied in Spain and Germany with 2 semesters abroad in Netherlands and France. By that time my dad had moved to China and my mom to Finland. So that’s where I spent my holidays. My dad now lives in Italy, my mom in Germany and Finland. I’m currently in Spain. My sister in the UK. We meet in France in summer.
We always spoke the language of the country we were currently living in. My parents were very strict with learning the local language and being part of the community.
At the same time, my parents respectively taught us their mother language. English and German (mom), Italian and Spanish (dad).
We moved so many times, I feel at home in a lot of places. What I don’t have are “roots”.
There’s a few places I “come home to” but none that’s THE ONE.
Both my parents are “mutts”, how we like to call ourselves, my mom half German half British, my dad half Sicilian half Argentinian.
We kids always called ourselves Europeans. We connect with many places and countries. And speak a couple languages. And we always moved and travelled a lot.
So what’s our identity? Well, that. We’re all of those. It’s always funny when people ask the simple question where are you from? What are we talking about, where I was born, raised, where my parents are from, where I live? Where I work? There’s different answers.
And while I sometimes envy people who have one home, a place they can go back to, a clearly defined cultural identity, and a biography that is so much more steady and linear than mine, I’m proud of our lifestyle, how we easily adapt and move between countries and cultures, and the experiences we can share.
And as to teaching your kids, like I mentioned my parents taught us all the languages and helped us connecting with the culture we were living in.
I have more than one job today, maybe that’s also fruit of that lifestyle, one of them is private language teacher. I love helping people discovering new paths, settling down in a new place, inventing themselves new. Most of my clients are people who move to a new country, families, execs, expats, immigrants, adventurous people. Sometimes a whole company.
So tldr, the more cultures you’re exposed to, the bigger the tree grows. You just add new worlds, you don’t categorize or rank them anymore. They all become a part of you.
I’ve really enjoyed reading the stories in this thread—so many kindred souls! Thought I’d share mine too.
My father is Italian, my mother is Croatian (though technically, she left her homeland when it was still Yugoslavia). They met in Britain, and that’s where I was born and raised, all the way through university. I suppose that makes me one of those so-called “third culture kids.”
I speak all three languages fluently, though the way I use them varies: I can only write academic papers in English—doing it in the other two would feel uncomfortable. I have a pretty strong Yorkshire accent in English, a slightly foreign-sounding Italian, and a regional Croatian that often makes people chuckle because I still speak a version of the language from before Yugoslavia broke up (if you know, you know).
I’ve always been hyper-aware—probably made hyper-aware—of my linguistic identity, but never really struggled with my cultural one. I feel like I belong to all three countries… and to none of them at the same time.
As an adult, I moved to Italy to teach English, but I feel a slightly deeper emotional connection to the Croatian side of my family. My manners and sense of humour are definitely more British, but deep down, my core is Mediterranean.
I’m also quite idealistic about Europe—I feel genuinely European (as corny as it sounds) and very much at home wherever I go on the continent. That’s why Brexit hit me so hard. It still does, to be honest—I haven’t fully come to terms with it.
One thing I really appreciate about my personal European identity is that it’s what I’d call a “weak” identity, in a positive sense. It’s made me allergic to nationalism, jingoism, and imperialism, and I’m genuinely happy about that.
I was born in Poland and moved to Sweden. technically I was raised in both countries. I really don’t feel any connection to either of the cultures. Frankly speaking, I don’t really understand the concept of connection that well.
Hmm maybe depends on the age. I was approaching early teenage years when I moved and I think it’s 60/40 or even 70/30 with my birth country winning, even though I’ve now lived more than half of my life in the country I’ve moved to. It’s about the temperament, the values, the overall attitude, and the small cultural differences in everyday life. I do intend to teach my native language to my kids eventually.
i was born in poland and moved to northern ireland at 6. i’m currently 20, 21 in october. ni is a unique place to grow up because a lot of people already struggle with national identity, so it’s very hard to relate to if you weren’t born here or have parents who were born here. in the house we all speak polish, eat polish food and do polish traditions, so i feel a bigger connection to my home country.
I feel no connexion to my parents culture of origin. When I was younger my parents were told to not teach me their mother tongue, they did anyways, or at least tried to, but I refused to learn because I recognised it as a waste of time.
I don’t plan on teaching my children aspects of my parent’s inferior culture. After all, I worked hard to escape it.
Born in Poland but moved to Germany when i was 3 or 4. I do speak Polish and still travel there for holidays or to visit my grandma but other than this i am fully German. Whenever i go there it usually takes few days to get used to how different people are. I do have a child and try to teach her some basic Polish but that’s it.
I was born in Soviet Union, moved to Finland when I was 7. My parents are Finnish. My kids mother is Swedish. Our kids are Finnish.
I’m proud, because my grandkids know their roots. They’re Finnish as well.
UK born but lived in Germany for five years as a kid (still speaking English as I went to English schools). Studied abroad in Germany for a year as an Erasmus student. Have lived in France now for over twenty years, but German still seems the easier language to speak than french; I’ve no idea why!
Not european but can relate: I was born in Beijing, moved to Canada when I was 4 (not old enough to learn how to read/write, but old enough to speak). Went back to China for a good chunk (~2 years) of my undergrad through an extended exchange program, and learned to read/write my “mother tongue” as an adult. Now back home in Vancouver but moving to Germany permanently for work in ~3 months.
English is by far my primary language. My parents’ broke up and remarried after we immigrated, and I grew up speaking English at home with my mom (who put a massive effort into integrating into Canadian/English-language culture) & my white stepdad. I consume the same good ol’ american media everybody here does. I can think in Chinese, but it’s really weird and disassociating, sorta like a stroke victim that knows what they want to say but can’t find the words (because sometimes I can’t).
However, since I moved after I was old enough to talk, but never really improved on it for ~16 years, I kept the old-style Beijing accent that I learned as a kid, whereas the rest of the country moved towards standard Mandarin, which is “softer”; The point being that any Mandarin speaker can instantly place that I’m “from” Beijing, which paints me as “one of them”, but I have very little of the cultural background that normally comes with this.
This is to say that while I definitely feel a closer connection with Canada, I have an abnormally easy time (at least initially) making Chinese friends, who feel a close cultural connection with me even when I cannot really reciprocate. Classic third culture kid problem, I suppose.
If I have kids I definitely plan on teaching them Mandarin: Lee Kuan Yew details here exactly why much better than I ever could. His comments target the Asian diaspora, but I think they are easily generalizable imo.
Born in the US to Polish parents but was raised very Polish and moved to Poland at the age of 18 with my mother. I have always felt more Polish than American as a child but felt the pressure to be more American from society there.
Fast forward 20 odd years I’m married to a Polish man I’ve spent my entire adult life living between Poland and Ireland, my identity is firmly rooted in being Polish as an adult.
I guess being surrounded by a large Polish diaspora in Ireland helped cement this and of course being married to a Polish man for a decade as well. Speaking, reading and writing fluently in Polish has also helped. I notice because I speak without an accent in Polish, I am instantly seen as being Polish by other Poles no questions asked.
Norwegian: 5 years in the uk, 6th year in Germany now.
I feel a very close connection to the uk, but I like Germany as a society a whole lot more. Hard to describe…
What I do know is that I’m never moving back to Norway. Mainland Europe is far too interesting
Born in Austria, raised in Italy, each right in the border. Mum’s from Austria and dad’s from Italy but from that region that used to be Austrian a hundred years ago and speaks predominantly German.
I feel connected to both and I moved to Austria as an adult but I feel like it doesn’t really count cause the culture is so similar and many of the languages, customs and traditions is the same.
Born in Spain to British parents and moved to the UK when I was six. I’m definitely British/English rather than Spanish, but I certainly feel a deep-rooted connection to Spain, which prompted me to learn the language as best I could. Obviously, I’ll never be a native speaker, and I’d never call myself Spanish (unless I move back and get the passport, maybe…), but I like settling on my identity as a “Spanish-born Brit” 🙂
Mine is not so extreme.
I was born in the Netherlands and moved to Belgium when I was six. I am 31 now and still live in Belgium.
My Dutch is on a spectrum between “Noord Hollands”(NL) and “Antwerps” (BE). It’s never 100% on one side.
I am in the Netherlands almost weekly, and I do feel “Belgian” when I am in the Netherlands, while I definitely feel Dutch when I am in Belgium.
I feel a strong connection to both countries. Even though l don’t see myself moving away from my hometown (Antwerpen) for good. Maybe for a set amount of time.
I also love the Netherlands but i am so used to living in Belgium. Have my whole life figured out here. On top of that I am also used to the travel it takes to go to my birthplace to see family.
I feel inherently connected to both countries. And often call myself a Beneluxian :’)
Born in Vienna 0-4 moved to Hamburg 4-19 moved back to Vienna. It’s basically the same country, so no culture shock here.
Born in Hungary, moved to Germany when I was 5.
I can barely speak Hungarian and while I feel a connection that’s hard to describe, follow some customs and cook some Hungarian dishes regularly (vegan version tho which makes me a freak to most Hungarians), I feel deeply divided from actual Hungarians, even (or especially?) my own family that lives in Hungary. I try to keep in touch with the people and culture, though, and would make sure my kids learned Hungarian if I ever had any (not from me though. I’d hire someone to teach them).
I speak much better German than any other language and am more familiar with the culture, but I still feel the same divide. Like most immigrant kids, I used to want to belong here and be accepted pretty desperately, but at this point I’m okay with the fact that that will never happen no matter how much I assimilate. Accepting this was kind of freeing, as if I’d given myself permission to exist just the way I am.
Like a lot of others in this thread, I feel European more than anything, and at this point I think that’s pretty great. It gets lonely at times, though, because most people around me either have no personal experiences with emigration at all, were born long after their parents/one foreign parent had already settled down, or immigrated as adults. I relate to all of them somewhat, but not fully. Seeing so many people express feelings so similar to mine made me feel less alone, so thanks for asking this question, OP 🙂
Born in the Soviet Union (Kazakhstan). Moved to Germany when I was 7. I still speak Russian to my parents and basically a mixture of Russian and German to my siblings (who are much older than me, so I guess they feel more Russian than me), but my German is tremendously better than my Russian and I think my level is below a regular Russian 7-Year old, but the language intuition for Russian is still there. Still rolling the R slightly, though. Sometimes people notice it, some do not.
I feel quite specifically Northern German where I spent most of my life and also feel a lot closer closer to the Scandinavian Countries than to Kazakhstan or Russia. I even learned Danish to some extent, which is the closest neighbor from my location. After moving away, I have never visited any former Soviet Countries and I don’t miss it.
Nevertheless, family events are still quite Russian, I guess.
Born in Switzerland, from a German father and an Italian mother. My grandparents were Russian, Polish, French and Spanish respectively. I grew up surrounded by all these different cultures, traditions and languages. I also lived in different countries, mainly for work, including UK, The Netherlands and Australia. I feel European.
I feel more Swedish than Finnish, but not completely. I’m like a hybrid Finnish Swede. I was born in Finland and lived there half of my childhood. The other half and my adulthood I’ve lived in Sweden. I’m a Swedish citizen and feel like Finland is a bit foreign to me. But there are a lot of Finnish cultural aspects that are an integral part of me.
I will never be completely Finnish or completely Swedish, but I could never move back to Finland, I think. I’m too Swedish for it.
I was born and raised in the UK but in 1977 at age 27, I moved to France with my then girlfriend who was French. Since then I have spend most of my life and career living in France, Belgium, the Netherlands, Thailand and finally Luxembourg where I live currently. I don’t really feel like I belong anywhere and I am sure I’d find the narrow minded xenophobic bullshit in my homeland, the UK, impossible to tolerate!
I’m European and a citizen of the world – that’s that!
Born in Georgia, grew up in England (Mum was Georgian, Dad is English) since I was 8 (thank you Dmitri Medvedev. arsehole)
I don’t really know to be honest, when I’m Georgia I feel like a Georgian, when I’m in England I feel somewhat English.
It’s an odd one.
Dad French, mum Danish. First language English, then Danish, then French. Speak Danish with mum, speak French with dad and brother. Born in France, moved to New Zealand at age 4 for a year, moved back to France for 3 years, moved to England just before my 9th birthday, have had a gap year in Denmark (since I turned 18 in August) for the last 0.5 year. I have been on holiday in Denmark for an average of 4 weeks per year and 2 weeks per year in France.
I’d say I feel Danish, although I do feel not 100% Danish when speaking with other Danish people (my Danish isn’t as good as the natives). I never felt British when I was in England, although sometimes I miss the culture. I’ve lost my connection to France for a few years now, mostly due to not going on holiday as frequently.