I (20m) have a coworker/peer (18f) who has been extremely competitive with me in the past. A little bit of background is that I work at a on-campus job at my local college and she joined my work team about three months ago. The first thing that she said to me when we first met was that she had heard “all about me” from my mentor, who I’ll call Prof. A, of whom I consider myself a decent protégée. When I mentioned that Prof. A was my favorite professor, she immediately replied with how much he liked her and all the special privileges she got from being his “favorite”. At the time, I just let it slide. It went downhill from there. Soon when I was stuck alone with her, all she would talk about was her accomplishments and what she’s doing. When she realized I had an internship directly under Prof. A, she decided that she wanted it. Almost immediately, my days at work were plagued with questions about my internship and how much she wanted it, and how she is overqualified for the position. It all came to a head the other night when I joked to her, “what happens if we lose our jobs? Hope you have another lined up.” and she responded, “I do actually, I was offered one like yesterday.” Curious, I asked where, since it was odd that a freshman would get sought out. She looked me dead in the eyes and said, “Your internship. Prof. A offered it to me. I was surprised, because I thought you were doing a good job, but I’m already doing a bunch of things free for (the company) and so I might as well already have it.” I didn’t let it show, but this comment scared me. The idea of just being replaced like that by someone who I held in high esteem was a very painful idea to me. The next day, I walked into Prof. A’s office, a nervous wreck. Since my coworker had told me that she had been doing parts of my internship already, I assumed the transition was already in effect. I sat down across from my mentor and tried to explain what my coworker had told me. When I was done with my recount, Prof. A looked frustrated. He told me that my coworker had lied. He hadn’t given her my internship, and in fact she wasn’t even doing the parts of my job that she was claiming to. I felt instant relief, and then dread. Because if she had been lying, Prof. A was going to confront her. He hinted that she was in trouble and that he was going to contact her to set things straight, and that was the last I have heard or dealt with the situation. I never brought this up directly to her, in fear that she would accuse me of being jealous or lash out at me. I fear that I have ruined her chances of ever being successful at least at this school. I really hope she learns instead of retaliates. I just hope that I’m wrong and everything will be okay. But if I ruin her future without ever confronting her about her behavior, I don’t think I’ll ever recover. AITA?
TL;DR: Coworker allegedly attempts to steal my internship, I snitch to my professor instead of talking to her and she gets in trouble
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I (20m) have a coworker/peer (18f) who has been extremely competitive with me in the past. A little bit of background is that I work at a on-campus job at my local college and she joined my work team about three months ago. The first thing that she said to me when we first met was that she had heard “all about me” from my mentor, who I’ll call Prof. A, of whom I consider myself a decent protégée. When I mentioned that Prof. A was my favorite professor, she immediately replied with how much he liked her and all the special privileges she got from being his “favorite”. At the time, I just let it slide. It went downhill from there. Soon when I was stuck alone with her, all she would talk about was her accomplishments and what she’s doing. When she realized I had an internship directly under Prof. A, she decided that she wanted it. Almost immediately, my days at work were plagued with questions about my internship and how much she wanted it, and how she is overqualified for the position. It all came to a head the other night when I joked to her, “what happens if we lose our jobs? Hope you have another lined up.” and she responded, “I do actually, I was offered one like yesterday.” Curious, I asked where, since it was odd that a freshman would get sought out. She looked me dead in the eyes and said, “Your internship. Prof. A offered it to me. I was surprised, because I thought you were doing a good job, but I’m already doing a bunch of things free for (the company) and so I might as well already have it.” I didn’t let it show, but this comment scared me. The idea of just being replaced like that by someone who I held in high esteem was a very painful idea to me. The next day, I walked into Prof. A’s office, a nervous wreck. Since my coworker had told me that she had been doing parts of my internship already, I assumed the transition was already in effect. I sat down across from my mentor and tried to explain what my coworker had told me. When I was done with my recount, Prof. A looked frustrated. He told me that my coworker had lied. He hadn’t given her my internship, and in fact she wasn’t even doing the parts of my job that she was claiming to. I felt instant relief, and then dread. Because if she had been lying, Prof. A was going to confront her. He hinted that she was in trouble and that he was going to contact her to set things straight, and that was the last I have heard or dealt with the situation. I never brought this up directly to her, in fear that she would accuse me of being jealous or lash out at me. I fear that I have ruined her chances of ever being successful at least at this school. I really hope she learns instead of retaliates. I just hope that I’m wrong and everything will be okay. But if I ruin her future without ever confronting her about her behavior, I don’t think I’ll ever recover. AITA?
TL;DR: Coworker allegedly attempts to steal my internship, I snitch to my professor instead of talking to her and she gets in trouble
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I talked to my professor without ever having discussed my coworker’s behavior issues with her, and that makes me the asshole because if this goes downhill, she might not be able to have opportunities at our university.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
She lied and told you she was taking your job, essentially. You went to your superior at that job to confirm whether this was true or not rather than directly confronting her. Your supervisor confirmed that it was a lie, and he would deal with it.
NTA
This is exactly how I would expect an employee of mine to handle this situation: Go to the boss and have the person with authority sort it out. Confronting her wouldn’t have accomplished anything.
If anything bad happens to her, YOU didn’t cause it. She did with her actions. You have nothing to feel bad about.
You did nothing wrong and actually may have helped this young woman in the long wrong. She needs to stop maliciously competing with coworkers and to knock off the lying. This is a wonderful lesson to learn at 18, instead of at 26 when she actually gets fired from a job.
NTA
NTA. You Did Not Snitch. Say it with me… you did not snitch
There is a difference… did you go running in and whine, pout, or phrase it like you were telling him she did something naughty? No! Because you thought she was telling you the truth, and you were talking to your boss about the situation (which you now know wasn’t true).
What you did was remarkably mature. You had concerns about your job and took them to your boss to professionally address them.
My guess is that this isn’t the first time Prof A has had an issue with your coworker. She clearly is lacking in maturity and integrity – her words and actions will impact her prospects, not you.
She is definitely the asshole and I’m glad that you opened up a can of worms too, granted you didn’t know you would.
She’s 18 and trying to be manipulative as fuck.
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NTA, but you need to learn a lesson here too. Sometimes other people are malicious and you need to protect yourself, deal with the situation, and if they end up getting their just deserts that is as it should be. You don’t have to take pleasure in it, but you don’t have to lose sleep over it. Sometimes things still end well even if they end with some people not happy and not liking you. Not every situation can end with everyone cuddling fluffy bunnies together, all friends and with no hard feelings.
NTA. You didn’t do anything you were put in this situation so it’s not your fault.
nta
it was her own big mouth that got her into this situation. i’m sure there’s been countless lies about everything else too. if that’s the case then she should be stopped in her tracks. no one trying to actually learn their craft and hone their skills has time for a liar. and in some settings such a person could actually be dangerous. you did the right thing. remember that.
She ruined he own chances/prospects by telling lies
NTA
NTA. She’s harassing you at work and being disruptive. You went to your supervisor the professor to clarify information you had been given. I don’t know if she’s paying mind games or just nuts, but you aren’t obligated to tolerate her crazy at your workplace.
Coworker will learn play stupid games win stupid prizes
Info: why do you feel guilt?
NTA and don’t lost sleep over this. No one has made her behave like she has, that’s her own choices. No one has made her lie, no one has ruined her future except her (&she’s young, so probably not ruined her future either)
You’ve done nothing at all that was wrong.
NTA
This is the definition of FAFO. Nobody likes a braggart or a liar, and employers actively frown on them. By behaving this way, she’s damaging her own reputation and potential. She needs to learn this behavior is not acceptable, and you were only protecting yourself. She brought this on herself.
If she says anything or tries to retaliate, I’d inform your professor and make a complaint to the school. This is not your circus, and she is certainly not your clown. Just do your best, you’ve got this!
YTA for not using paragraphs.