We had guests over for my 5-year-old second cousin’s birthday party (let’s call him John). Another kid at the party, around the same age, was also there — a distant relative (let’s call him Adrian).
Someone gifted John a really cool RC car, and he was so excited that he took it to his room to open it before the official gift opening. Adrian followed him into the room.
A couple of minutes later, I saw Adrian walking out with the RC car, trying to unbox it himself — and his dad was helping him insert batteries and everything. I went to check on John and found him in his room looking upset, saying “Adrian took my car.”
I was honestly pretty annoyed, so I went up to Adrian’s dad and told him that John was crying. I then took the toy back and returned it to John.
Later I heard Adrian’s parents were upset with me. I didn’t say anything, but the rest of the party felt awkward.
AITA for stepping in and taking the toy back?
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We had guests over for my 5-year-old second cousin’s birthday party (let’s call him John). Another kid at the party, around the same age, was also there — a distant relative (let’s call him Adrian).
Someone gifted John a really cool RC car, and he was so excited that he took it to his room to open it before the official gift opening. Adrian followed him into the room.
A couple of minutes later, I saw Adrian walking out with the RC car, trying to unbox it himself — and his dad was helping him insert batteries and everything. I went to check on John and found him in his room looking upset, saying “Adrian took my car.”
I was honestly pretty annoyed, so I went up to Adrian’s dad and told him that John was crying. I then took the toy back and returned it to John.
Later I heard Adrian’s parents were upset with me. I didn’t say anything, but the rest of the party felt awkward.
AITA for stepping in and taking the toy back?
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NTA Adrian sounds like a brat. Good job looking out for John
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> well i took the toy and im afraid i came off as an asshole because in other perspective, the other kid was excited. als maybe i felt guilty after i heard the kids parents are upset because of my reaction
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA. Pretty much the exact same thing just happened at my daughter’s bday party, same age and everything.
Sometimes kids have a hard time remembering it’s someone else’s special day, the dad should’ve told his kid that wasn’t his new toy to open.
NTA.
NTA, I am sorry Adrian’s dad put you in that position.
The only AH here is the brat dad for enabling him to steal the car.
NTA. Guests shouldn’t be taking the birthday persons presents. The younger they learn this the better. Ideally it should be parents teaching this lesson…
NTA.
It bothers the hell out of me when people force their kids to share or expect other kids to give up a toy they’re playing with because the other kid wants it. “John make sure you give the toy to Adrian. You have to share, be a good boy” vs “If you want a turn, you can ask. John is having his turn right now.”
If another adult was having a sandwich, would they be scolded if I came up and tried to take it, oh you have to share? No!
Anyways, you’re nta. If you did that to my kid/for my kid I would probably thank you for stepping in so I didn’t have to. Sounds like you’re the better parent for Adrian than whatever the others are doing, if you’d even call that parenting.
NTA Adrian’s dad, on the other hand, huuuge AH! How dare he open another kid’s present and help his son start playing with it? wtf???? who does that???? Now you know who *not* to invite, next time.
NTA you had to step in because the incompetent parents wouldn’t. My child is only a little toddler but I spend half my playdates returning toys he’s stolen to the children playing with them. It’s just manners, little people have to learn. Someone has to teach them
NTA. Adrian’s parents are AHs and they’re raising an entitled little AH with that attitude. Sharing is great when it’s consensual, but we don’t force adults to “share” their personal belongings. There’s no reason to force a child to.
should’ve highkey bonked old dude in the head w the car because what ????? nta
Info. Where are this kids’ parents. My reaction is you’re overstepping here but with more context maybe you’re not totally off the wall here.
NTA.
I hate the way some people teach the concept of sharing. Should we learn to share? Yes. But sharing isn’t some kid just TAKING your toy, it’s respecting a no, accepting boundaries and YOU making the choice to share. Ultimately I feel like we end up teaching our kids to be doormats sometimes by telling them they are wrong for saying no to something like this. Good on you for standing up for him imo.
NTA. You were a hero!
NTA but Adrián and his family are TA
NTA. Adrian was wrong to take the toy from John. Adrian’s Dad absolutely should not have been trying to help Adrian unbox the toy, he should have immediately made Adrian give it back to John.
When I was little a friend pitched an ungodly fit when I shared my birthday present with everyone. It was paint your own suncatchers. Huge equestrian since I can remember, so I wanted the big horse one. You know…from my own birthday gift. I ended up having to give it to the girl pitching a fit.
I literally cannot remember ever having a legit birthday party where it was actually about me and not sharing the party with another person whose birthday was close-ish or another holiday like Father’s Day. In fact my birthday has been so shit for so long, I don’t even care to celebrate it anymore.
So, all of that to say, NTA
I’m so glad you stood up for John and helped him get back his toy.
NTA And you also showed John that there are adults who will make things right.
NTA. Glad you stepped in and intervened. TA dad should’ve known better than to take the birthday boy’s gift. Good lord. Imagine watching an adult get a bunch of cool gifts and feeling entitled to go open them all and try them out! That’s exactly what he was doing. Just because it was a toy for a child and kids were present doesn’t mean the other kids were meant to play with it.
NTA. That child is a bully and you did the right thing. I’m gonna guess no isn’t a word Adrian is used to.
NTA
I don’t understand Adrian’s dad’s behavior. He should know better. It’s not his son’s bday or present. I think you did the right thing.
NTA. “Sharing is caring,” is stupid. And this isn’t sharing, the kid took it and the dad wanted to go ahead and get it all set up for his kid, not John. It’s simple being a parent in a case like this, “Sorry Adrian, John is playing with it now. Maybe you can play with it later,” is what should’ve happened. Taking a toy away from one kid to give it to another never solves the problem, it creates problems and animosity between them.
NTA
I am so over entitled parents thinking that they can take a child’s toy and give it to their child.
You were the only person acting like the birthday boy should be the focus.
nta. how hard is it to tell the child “no, that’s john’s present and today is his special day. you can ask him if you can have a turn later, but you cannot take it from him, that’s not how we treat our friends.”? like? that’s the barest of parental effort, and instead they just went with it. that’s wild.
…not that i’m surprised, i’m a daycare teacher and lord knows i’ve met parents like this. but ffs. you did exactly what you should.
NTA
Its kinda an unspoken rule that kids don’t play with the birthday kids brand new toys. At least, living all over the country, all the kids parties we’ve thrown or been to, it was an unspoken rule.
I know it’s a little different with family like siblings and cousins, but the parents should have stepped up and taken it back to the bedroom and explained that it’s Johns special day and he gets to play with the special toys first, but maybe he can ask later.
If they got mad at you, it shows what kind of people/parents they are. Kids like theirs are the types that grow up thinking everything always has to be fair, when life just isn’t that way.
NTA…It is your nephew’s birthday
…sorry other kids…suck it up and deal
>Later I heard Adrian’s parents were upset with me.
Here is the smallest violin playing for adrian and his parents. I could not care any less.
You did the right thing. NTA
We had a saying for the kids were young that a toy w as “too new to sharé” and can only be played with by the recipient. It seemed to work for us.