About a month ago I’ve decided to take a break for a week from my socials and it felt so good that I am now on a month and still counting. I even went on vacation for two weeks to South Korea and didn’t post about it. Besides it feeling quite peaceful and me not having FoMo I’ve noticed that I literally had contact with my “friends” since good 3 weeks — it’s almost like I left a club and I’m not a member anymore. Did this happen to anyone else? For reference, I am a loner and I have to admit that most of my friends are surface level and I have perhaps 3 good one.
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I deleted IG about a month ago now and have no plans to reactivate any time soon. If you’re my friend, you’ll have my number and can keep up with me that way.
I’ve been off social media for 2 years. I think people know that they don’t have friends before deleting social media, but they are in denial or confused about what a friendship should be. If you are the main initiator and people just join for the ride, then they aren’t your friends.
It’s quite sad, especially if you really thought of them as your friend.
I suggest taking this time to get to know yourself. Get back into hobbies and think about how you want your life to be. I also recommend reviewing who your “friends” are. No need to stay with them or let them know you don’t mess with them anymore. Then recreate new social media accounts without following them.
How have you reached out to them?
When you stop using someone’s usual method of communication, it’s on you to reach out via alternate means until a new pattern is established.
If you want to maintain your friendships, you’ve got to do what we all did before social media was a thing: call (or text, some people hate voice calls), send cards in the mail, make plans with them in person. Social media is easy and lazy and that’s why people love it. It may take a while to settle into a new, non-socials groove with each person. You are asking them to put in extra effort to reach you, and while good friends will do it, there is usually a learning curve.
I deleted my social media in maybe, 2018. I kept in contact with my closest friends for a while, until they decided it was too difficult to keep inviting me to things because texting or a phone call was too inconvenient for them… I also moved a couple of hours away from them, I was always travelling to them, if I tried to organise catch ups they would decline to come to me or even meet halfway.
I’ve kept in touch with a few other people though who were more like aquantinces before I deleted my accounts and now I’m much closer with them.
Despite losing some close friends, I have found new ones, who are much more accepting. Honestly, my mental health has been far better off since deleting socials and I don’t regret it at all.
Have you reached out to them? I’m not on Facebook or anything like that where I use my real name and have connections with friends, and I did notice a drop off of contact with people, but it picked back up when I just started texting people instead.
You find out who you have deep meaningful relationships with once you delete public facing platforms. It’s like you don’t exist anymore to some people. It’s eye-opening and honestly, a good purge.
Edit: a word
Deleted fb in 2016 and Twitter a few months back. Have insta but don’t really use it.
Can you not just text people? I don’t get why it would be a barrier, it’s just using another app to message someone.
I deleted IG in December and TikTok in January, and I know exactly what you mean. A few of my friendships have gotten stronger and we text / voice note more instead, but many of them have dwindled or completely disappeared – maybe those people prefer not to text as much? Anyway, it was eye opening for me and a little disheartening. I’m trying to focus on the benefits of removing social media but I really empathize with what you’re experiencing and I have hope that it will get better for us. 🩷
Going on 5 years of my initial 30 day break. It’s pretty liberating. I am a loner, too but I’ve reconnected with friends I lost touch with by leaving socials but the friendships I wanted to maintained i always have the choice to pick up the phone and text or call.
Been 5 years since I deleted IG. Facebook was gone way before then, I have my close circle and those that I have a connection with, we stay connected.
I have several close friends and we don’t interact on socials. We text each other and get together in person.