put a lot of blame on myself for not making friends in college bc I stayed home. I had acquaintances or people I was close with for only the class. Friends moved from our home city. I began joining groups like a walking group and there’s a few volunteer things. I went to 2 and people brought others they knew, so I went up to some folks and said hey but they dispersed. I don’t know if maybe I’m awkward. I did talk a bit with one woman but making plans from that didn’t work.
I wanna join more meetups or maybe different types. I didn’t do any classes because I’m just searching for free things for now. I did research signing up for yoga classes. I just find it hard. I never explicitly searched for a romantic relationship either but every man I ever liked, or who showed interest, shortly after would switch up. On dating apps I’ve ran into a lot of dudes insulting me. I had a guy ask me out in the wild but my online friend said that it was weird so don’t go. I feel like maybe I also don’t have good discernment.
I stayed friends with people who clearly didn’t like me or clung to them. Now I’m realizing I am very much alone. I don’t talk to my family much either because they’d taunt me or mock me. I’m really worried about my future because I’m starting from scratch basically. Id love some advice. Also romantic relationships are definitely a second for me right now. I think finding community it’s important.
I feel very stifled and congested in my city, I’ve never lived elsewhere. Right now I’m trying to settle into this job for a bit but ultimately I’d love to move and stuff. Thanks ahead of time
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I think therapy would be really helpful for you in a lot of ways!
Build your confidence and brainstorm events to go socialize at
Learn how to practice discernment and set boundaries so you aren’t taken advantage of while dating
Figure out the ways you might be holding yourself back so you can better support your desire to connect with others
Discuss relationships as they’re progressing in case you start getting targeted by a narcissist (they can smell people with poor boundaries from a mile away)
> I didn’t do any classes because I’m just searching for free things for now. I did research signing up for yoga classes.
I’m similarly trying to make friends and definitely know how hard it is.
That said, one benefit of classes is that the same people tend to show up. Making friends is easiest when you’re seeing the same people repeatedly. (This is one reason why people typically find it was easier to make friends in elementary and high school.) You said you went to two meetups? Did you keep going? Is there a core group that attends? Some meetups can be a rotating cast of randos who show up once or twice, which isn’t very helpful.