So this is literally so dumb but I have been up all night dreading going to dinner with my family because of what has become a pretty prescient annoyance.
So growing up my family did egg hunts for me and my cousin, however my cousins mom and my aunt would always show up drunk and run around and point out all my eggs before I could find them. Never her daughters just mine, it happened every year and as a kid I obviously didn’t know she was drunk I just thought she was really mean I would end up sobbing ever Easter and eventually started not wanted to even go cause I’d get upset and cry and she’d make fun of me cause you know I was a child.
One year my mom said enough with the egg hunts cause my aunt was always drunk, and for some reason to this day my aunt thinks I’m the one who told my mom she was drunk? Like it wasn’t obvious? Again I wasn’t even old enough to understand what drunk was…
Now every single Easter she makes a big fuss about about how I told everyone she got drunk every Easter and ruined the egg hunts and makes a huge deal about it. It’s just so annoying I don’t give a shit about egg hunts anymore I’m 20 years old but she won’t shut up I just want something to say back. I keep telling her off in my head and can’t get it to sound right.
Please give me some come backs I don’t care if they are mean I truly don’t give a shit anymore
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Backup of the post’s body: So this is literally so dumb but I have been up all night dreading going to dinner with my family because of what has become a pretty prescient annoyance.
So growing up my family did egg hunts for me and my cousin, however my cousins mom and my aunt would always show up drunk and run around and point out all my eggs before I could find them. Never her daughters just mine, it happened every year and as a kid I obviously didn’t know she was drunk I just thought she was really mean I would end up sobbing ever Easter and eventually started not wanted to even go cause I’d get upset and cry and she’d make fun of me cause you know I was a child.
One year my mom said enough with the egg hunts cause my aunt was always drunk, and for some reason to this day my aunt thinks I’m the one who told my mom she was drunk? Like it wasn’t obvious? Again I wasn’t even old enough to understand what drunk was…
Now every single Easter she makes a big fuss about about how I told everyone she got drunk every Easter and ruined the egg hunts and makes a huge deal about it. It’s just so annoying I don’t give a shit about egg hunts anymore I’m 20 years old but she won’t shut up I just want something to say back. I keep telling her off in my head and can’t get it to sound right.
Please give me some come backs I don’t care if they are mean I truly don’t give a shit anymore
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I’m sorry we didn’t hide the little vodka bottles in the eggs for you. I see how upset it made you
Where on earth are your parents to tell Aunt to shut her alcoholic ass up, that this endless bullying of a minor (back then) and now a young adult is NOT ON and blind Freddy could see she was a drunk back then. A nasty drunk at that. And if she’s not drinking now she’s just plain nasty.
If you were my daughter I would annihilate this auntie
Tell her “Shutch yo ugly ass up”
“If you spent as much time staying sober as you do rewriting history, we might’ve had a decent Easter once.”
“Girl, I was hunting eggs, you were hunting vodka. Let’s not pretend this was some Scooby-Doo mystery.”
“I didn’t need to tell anyone you were drunk. You told them yourself. Loudly. Slurring. Every year.”
“I wasn’t tattling. I was a child trying to understand why the Easter Bunny was hammered and mean.”
“You ruined Easter before I even knew what rum was, don’t flatter yourself thinking I had that kind of power.”
“You’re mad a child couldn’t cover for your drinking? That’s cute. Get therapy.”
“Imagine being beefed with a 20-year-old over a buzz you couldn’t handle 10 years ago.”
“Every year you act like I held a press conference about your drinking, girl you were sloshed in broad daylight. We saw you.”
“If Easter egg hunts had a breathalyzer, you’d still be banned.”
“You pointed out my eggs and I pointed out your problem. Call it even.”
“It’s wild how I was the child, but you were the one acting like one every Easter.”
“Maybe instead of reliving my childhood egg hunt, you should unpack your adult drinking habit.”
“I didn’t ruin your reputation. You did that all on your own with help from a box of wine.”
“If this is your Roman Empire, please seek help. Easter was 15 years ago and you’re still drunk on drama.”
“Just because I found eggs and you found wine doesn’t mean I started anything.”
Or…..just don’t go. You’re a grown ass adult who is allowed to make their own decisions.
You could just state the facts. Calmly but firmly.
“Everyone could see that you were drunk, auntie. I didn’t need to tell them.”
Then walk away. Don’t engage. She’s looking to get a rise out of you so that she looks better. If you say it calmly and firmly and walk away, you come out the better person. The fact that no one is sticking up for you says something about the rest of your family, but you didn’t ask that question.
“You ruined my Easters by drunkenly pointing out my eggs and mocking me when I cried. I was a child. You were the problem. Stop playing the victim”
I’d go with the truth:
“But you WERE drunk, and you did spoil those days!”
And if you’re feeling bold add on:
“…any normal adult would feel embarrassed about drunkenly bullying children, but you seem to want to play the victim, grow up!”
Just tell her you’re not the one who actually got drunk each year and ruined it for everyons.
Ask her why is she attending a family get together, when she should clearly be at an AA meeting instead!?
😜 That’ll put the cat amongst the pigeons!
I would say something along the lines of, “If you’re still hung up on that Easter meltdown, maybe the problem isn’t that someone noticed you were drunk—it’s that you were drunk around kids. Either own it or stop talking about it, because no one’s impressed.” Or something like this, which is a little lighter, “If being drunk at a kid’s Easter egg hunt wasn’t embarrassing enough, imagine still trying to deflect blame 13 years later. Girl, let it go—Elsa did.” 😂
Do you want to be civil?
“A grown woman blaming a child is a bad look.”
Do you want to be a bitch?
“You know Easter eggs have candy, not vodka, right? You aren’t missing out.”
There are several ways you can look when you say this. For looks, first: you can look absolutely incredulous; second; just smile, laugh, while saying it jokingly, or third: look right at her, get so calm, look extremely concerned, and say: “I think I can speak for everyone here when I say that we are all genuinely shocked that you can remember that considering how plastered you were every Easter.”
you can say that and follow with, “I remember a lot of adults talking about you potentially going to rehab, did you ever do that?”
whatever she says, the comeback can be, “At least I didn’t get so plastered at Easter every year that I bullied a child to tears while showing our entire family that my kids were too stupid to find their own Easter eggs so your drunk ass had to show them.” — Unless you really like your cousins. So in that case, you can just say,” at least I didn’t get so plastered that I bullied a child of tears every year, while robbing the joy of discovering eggs from my own kids.” I don’t think for people like this that it really works to say you robbed other people, you have to make it personal. And I feel like for people with kids, insulting their parenting, like robbing their kids of happiness and joy and experiences, usually upsets them. It definitely elicits a reaction at the very least.
Get some AA leaflets. When she brings it up, try to look sad and teary. Tell her you know how much she must be struggling and hand her the leaflets in front of everyone telling her you hope she gets the helps she needs and that you forgive her for ruining Easters past because you know alcoholism is a disease and you don’t hold anything against her. Sounds suuuuuuper sincere. Kill her with passive-aggressive kindness. When she gets angry or annoyed. Just keep telling her it’s ok and that you understand.
Good luck.
This year, just say, auntie it was obvious to everyone that you were wasted. I didn’t tell on you. You told on yourself. You ruined idk how many Easters. Can you please stop. Make this the last Easter you ruin, please auntie. Do it for the family.
When she brings it up, make sure to tell her that she’s drunk now, too.
Look her square in the eye and say, “You really think I was the only one who could tell you were drunk? In fact, I was a child and didn’t know, but ALL THE OTHER ADULTS got sick of you being drunk on your ass every Easter. Sorry if the truth sucks for you.”