I feel sick to my stomach writing this. Please have some grace for me. Throw away for obvious reasons.
I’m 18F. He’s 24M. We “met” when I was 13 and he told me he was 17. He wasn’t. He was 19. He also lied about his name and age until I turned 17.
When I turned 18 he finally came to see me. I didn’t think much was wrong with it. I’ve always dated older. I had forgotten much of what he said to me when I was younger. Now we are “dating”. And I recently went back and read through all our messages. He paid more attention to me when I was 13 than now.
I feel so sick. I feel so stupid. How could I let this happen to me. If you ever met him you would never know he’s the type to do this. He’s not mean to me. He’s actually kind. He certainly acts well adjusted for a man who preys on young girls. What doesn’t add up for me is he has everything — he’s traveled the world, comes from money, high standing in his career. Why me? Why do this to me. And since he’s finally “had me” he’s putting in the least amount of effort to keep me around.
Looking back — everything was sexual — everything. Even now. How did I miss it all. I just feel so dumb. I’m so angry. I can’t image now almost being his age looking at someone so much younger than me. He spoke to me in a way that no child should be spoken too. I was just a little girl. He had no right.
He truly followed me for five years just to sleep with me when I turned 18. I feel so sick. I feel so disgusting. I don’t know what to do. We’ve never talked about it. Never acknowledged it. I need too. I want answers. I just don’t know how I’m going to do it.
I’m so sorry. I wish I knew then what I know now. My perception of love and trust is so distorted. Just needed to get this off my chest. I know I should’ve realized sooner. Five years of manipulation does something to your brain.
EDIT: Really overwhelmed by the reaction to this post. Thank you everyone for your comments. Those of you saying this is AI I would’ve hoped I spelt things a bit better if it was LMAO. Anyways. My DMS are off because I know how people can be. Thank you again. 💕