I live in a country at war. Up until recently, I was juggling two things: real estate and a Web3 startup. Real estate in a war-torn country isn’t exactly booming, and our startup ran out of funds before we could launch. We had to shut it down at a loss.
Now I’m broke. Family? I used to be the one helping them. Friends? Turns out I don’t have many left when shit hits the fan. The only person still by my side is my fiancée—and she’s struggling too. Emotionally, financially, mentally. Watching her carry both of us is eating me alive.
I can’t take a regular job because I could get mobilized. I’ve been there—2014. I’ve seen the worst of it. The fear, the chaos, the inhumanity. I’m not scared of dying—I’m scared of what it’ll do to her. She’s terrified, barely sleeping, and I’m powerless to protect her from it all.
Scamming or doing shady stuff online? Not an option. My conscience won’t allow it. I’ve found a potential job with military exemption—but it starts in two months. And honestly, I don’t know if I’ll make it that long. There’s no money left. Nothing to do. Nowhere to go.
Earlier today, while my fiancée went out for a walk, I just broke down. Lay on the bed like a stone, sobbing like a child. I begged God to take me. I’m exhausted. I’m tired of surviving. Of scraping together the will to go on. Of watching the walls close in while pretending they’re not.
TL;DR: If you have someone who supports you—cherish them. That is the greatest blessing life can give. Appreciate freedom, joy, and the little things, because once you’re trapped in a cage, only then do you truly grasp how much they meant.
Comments
LOL, web3 startup
Don’t get why you can’t work a regular job just because mobilization could happen
Sorry you’re going through this but this isn’t a fuck up at all. This is just how life goes sometimes
Please hold on. The darkest time is often right before the sun comes up.
Heavy, raw, written by ChatGPT
I would be tired too. I hear you.
Thank you for your support. But I wrote this post more for myself, to speak out. I am on the verge of a dubious decision to join the army, and I just wanted to unload this stone that is crushing me.
I have quite a few friends there and I feel for every one of them. I can’t imagine the day to day suffering of a war that drags on. I’m thankful they can find little happy moments among the pain and suffering. I told all of them that once it’s all over they’re all invited to my house. Holding on to that little hope, not only for them but for me as well, makes things just a little bit better. Sometimes we have to dream and to hope. I hope you can find those happy moments and hope just long enough to get out on the other side of this.