Probably some combination of delirium and raspy breathing. My lungs are garbage and living to an old age in my family usually involves profound dementia.
“the kids aren’t yours” it would hilarious and only a brief moment of horror and panic before he realizes that im joking. Both of our kids have been dna matched to my husband but I’d live just a few seconds longer to see the stages of grief wash over his face until he lands on annoyance at my joke one last time
I fucking won. You two boys have made me so proud. You are humble, sweet, smart, and will be successful. I have lived a good life, in no small part because of the part you have played in it. Go win the world, it’s yours for the taking.
i reach up the closest family member and pinch their nose between my fingers and say “got your nose” and for the rest of their days they will never know smell again
Comments
If I die you are gay
I was full of regrets and immortal longings.
I told you I was sick.
The treasure is buried under……….
Just to mess with people one last time – “You need to talk to <give name of someone I don’t like>, they know where the bodies are buried”
the krabby patty secret formula is…
” That’s what she said”
whoever smelt it dealt it
Don’t believe them, they’re lying!
Will someone call in sick for me?🤪
Fart nugget
Thank you.
Hakuna matata
I did it my way.
What a ride!
I love you
I’ll be back!
My wealth and treasure, it can be yours. I left it at … (dies)
Get that pillow off my face
Thank God
If for strange reason my best friend wasn’t there, “Tell my best friend I love her. Give me a good send off 🍻”
There’s a bunch of cash that I’ve been saving and I left it when I went to
Go away
With my last breath I curse Zoidberg.
Clear my search history
Before I die, I’d like to thank today’s sponsor, RAID: Shadow Legends.
It’s about god damn time.
Finally…
SMASH MY PHONE AGAINST THE WALL
“Tell the police my sister did it!”
I love a good practical joke.
I killed Mufasa
The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.
I love you all.
I love you mom
…remember…the 17th….dont forget the 17th………
Why? I dunno but they’re all gonna be so creeped out whenever the 17th comes up in their lives lmao
“why did I have it so good?”
Oh, shit.
It’s been a slice – time to go now Zzzzzzzz
Get me out of this bed!
The password for my crypto account is 6. 9 aaaaaa
TRALALA LERO TRALALA
I told you I was ill.
See you soon…
Three days
The answer is 48
My biggest regret in my life was…. (Dies)
…. (Farts)
The answer is 42.
Cazzata malanga!
I hate the government
Respawning in 3…. 2…. 1…..
Fuck my ex. Both of them.
Whispers I was Mr Blobby
Delete my internet history.
Clear my history
“Why is everything so warm?! I’m burning! Aaaarghh!!! dies.
That should make at least some of my descendants attend church a bit more often
WITNESS MEEEE….
Following Christ is the key to life.
Not words, but one single Carter Pewterschmidt laugh.
Probably some combination of delirium and raspy breathing. My lungs are garbage and living to an old age in my family usually involves profound dementia.
I didn’t care for the godfather
I wish… I spent…. more time on Reddit
Oh no! Not again!
“Thank you for everything.”
আশেপাশের মানুষ কি বলবে?
I told you it wasn’t ‘just my f-in anxiety” *flatlines stubbornly*
what does it matter no one would be there to hear them?
I love you, thank you, goodbye for now.
“Have a good time, all the time.” – spinal tap.
don’t touch my watches, I’ll haunt you forever!
Delete my internet history
I didn’t do it
Potato potato potato potato…
When it’s time, he will be here.
I am (insert name of killer that hasn’t been caught)
that’s a gooooooood test
Do you guys hear those whispers?
Beware the….
How could you do this to me (directed at my parents for birthing me)
Finally it’s about bloody time
Later sluts
I did my best damnit!
Remind me, who are you people?
“the kids aren’t yours” it would hilarious and only a brief moment of horror and panic before he realizes that im joking. Both of our kids have been dna matched to my husband but I’d live just a few seconds longer to see the stages of grief wash over his face until he lands on annoyance at my joke one last time
I’d rather be coming than going
Ima coming back to haunt you.
To my soul I commit to god may he well come to his everlasting glory ✝️
Yes son, I really did fuck your mom
Ahhhhhh I’m gonna shiiiiiiiiiiit
“I need… I need… a tailor”
Fuck Andrey
To my children:
I fucking won. You two boys have made me so proud. You are humble, sweet, smart, and will be successful. I have lived a good life, in no small part because of the part you have played in it. Go win the world, it’s yours for the taking.
Nothing matters
“Who had dying in bed on their bingo card. Surprisingly, you’ve won over. Personally, I had hoped it would be in an alleyway with a hooker.”
So this is what its like to be close to death…
“Take care of cats. If I come back, it’ll be as a cat.”
If I don’t survive, tell my wife hello
“Thank god I dont have to poop anymore!”
(IBS sufferer)
I would switch to Latin or Aramaic or some other obscure language and tell them nice things.
A tout le monde….
Welcome to Good Burger, home of the Good Burger, may I take your order?
Smell ya later…
“I can see Red Rocks from here.” Then we would sit silently with that beautiful view until I was ready.
Have someone in the future bring me back to life with advanced future technology.
See you on the other side brother 😎
I’m going to make up so many lies
Thank God! I’m outta here ☝️
Bury me face down so the world can kiss my a..
“You guys suck!” Dies.
Jesus is king!😊❤️
so i didn’t get to finish one piece huh ☹️
“The ferryman comes, and without regret I go to Elysium”
NEVER LET THE PARTY DIE!!!
So long and thanks for all the fish…
Well shit.
”Tell Ben he’ll find all of it in that place we were that summer 95.”
Ey b0ss can I habe the pusi please
It’s about time
Tell my tale to those who ask. Tell it truly, the ill deeds along with the good, and let me be judged accordingly. The rest is silence.
Does this include a gratuity?😏
-Agent Dale Cooper
Under no circumstances should anyone photoshop me with wings in the clouds.
The treasure is hidden in the…..uurggghhhhh.
In front of all my kids and family?
“My biggest life regret…..I die a virgin”
“the money is buried under the big W”
Told you I was ill
The One Piece is real
I’ll be back, don’t touch my stuff.
To my only child.
“Because of you, I leave this world a better place.” ❤
I wanna start telling a long-winded joke, and then just….
“Why is my whole family here? I told you I AM NOT SICK! Just a bit tired today! …….Gasp!”
i reach up the closest family member and pinch their nose between my fingers and say “got your nose” and for the rest of their days they will never know smell again
Jared… I love you
See you on the other side.
Son.. bring me my last beer
My car warranty is expired
Time to die….
sorry for my own existence. Better be dead rather than being a person like this.
Staring contest….. go
That was fun! Let’s do it again
“well, shit, that didn’t work”
Beeeeeeewbs
Hang on gota /kill real quick
So long suckers
“Come here, get closer, get closer.” Once they’re by my face: “fuck you” then just smile and die.
BOSCO.
Yippie Ki Yay motherfucker.
I bear witness that there is no god but Allah, and I bear witness that Muhammad is the Messenger of Allah.
At least we have these…these…these….”These what?”…Deez Nuts!
Finally. Hurry up.
Fancy a bum…..
Is this the end of Rico?
Your really mom and dad are……asian
Bye bye
I will let you know if there is life after death
I finally rest, and watch the sunrise on a grateful universe.
It’s not been fun ill miss you do better
Good Bye
“Wow…wow…wow…” like Steve Jobs but like Owen Wilson.
So far so good
Guess what .
Chicken butt
You’re…standing…on…my…oxygen…hose.
Skibidi toilet
That’s all folks
Lord Jesus, receive my spirit and watch over my family.
🎶
This is the song that doesn’t end
Yes, it goes on and on my friends
Some people starting singing it, not knowing what it was
And they’ll continue singing it forever just because….
Sybau👅🙏🥀.
Into the void I go
“Should’ve done this a long time ago”
Whatever it will be, it’s not going to be “I wish I had spent more time on social media.”
Bosco!
Youre next
fuk
What the fk was THAT all about?
Strength and honor
Dal Shakka Mel
Big man Blastoise
“that kills people Charlie”
Rosebud
I did it for …Johnny.
Fuck all y’all!
Gotta log off guys, mom says dinner is ready
Ah.. Fuck this.
I won’t be talking.
I’ll be raging against the dying of the light.
“I believe I am dying beyond my means”. Roughly Oscar Wilde’s last words I believe.