TW !! Suicide thoughts (tagging this post spoiler as a precaution)
I am not at risk, I have no plans at all. This is just a vent. Using my throw away account so my irls don’t find this.
I know I need help. My anxiety has gotten so bad even though I am on medication, I can hardly sleep, I am constantly throwing up from anxiety and I can hardly get out of bed. I have missed so much work because of this. On top of that, I think I am depressed again(I haven’t been like this since 2021) and I am having suicidal thoughts a lot more.
But I cannot ask for help, I am scared to. My parents already do so much for me, they take time off of work to take me to my doctor’s appointments since I don’t drive, make sure I have my medication. I don’t want them to have to take me to therapy appointments as well. I don’t want them to have to commit me to a hospital. I don’t want them to have to go through that, or have that fear that I will hurt myself if I am not being monitored 24/7
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I’m here if you need anything
The main part of a parent’s job is to look after their children and make sure they are safe and happy. I’m sure your parents would much rather you tell them that you need more help than you keep bottling these feelings up. Ask to have a serious sit down conversation with them and tell them everything they have told us. They won’t be angry with you. They want to be there for you and help you. I’m sure you’ll find that sharing your feelings with them will start to lessen your anxiety somewhat. Best of luck.