Firstly, I am new to this sub so l apologise if the structure of my post is confusing.
I(18 M) am an International student who moved to the UK a few months ago. I recently (January
2025) became friends with a mutual(F 18) who connected with me through one of my friends and we started hanging out. She asked if I was interested in going to a concert (April 1st) with her because we realised we listen to the same artist.
We had been planning to go to this concert since February and came to the conclusion that we’ll be travelling together to go to the concert. Moreover, our plan was to stay with one of her friends (18 F) (whom l’ve never met) at her accom. During the last week of February, I asked her as to how we’ll be travelling together to the city since that is far away. She mentioned that she will either ask her uncle to pick us up or we can travel together via the train. However, she reassures me saying that we might need to have this conversation someday else because the train timetable was unreliable at around that time and that she wouldnt be comfortable using the trains because that wo be expensive for her as well. We mutually agree to this. Time passes, I keep mentioning it repeatedly throughout the month and she proceeds to dismiss me saying that she will ask her mother to drop us. A few days ago, l initiate a conversation about the travelling situation and she responds to it saying that her mom agreed to dropping us to the city. So I message her yesterday, asking her to make a travel plan with me. However, she sends me a text telling me that,
“I dont think my mom can take all of us cuz my brothers are gonna be in the car too.”
I respond with,
” so am i supposed to go alone or smth ?”
“Couldve told me a lil earlier, no?”
“Thought we were supposed to go together.”
“Its lowkey a lil weird since ur asking me to travel to a new city, alone?”
That’s all, shes hasn’t responded to me. I still haven’t confronted her yet l am planning to) but I just wanna know if I’m in the wrong here. I know that she isn’t obligated to take me there but the entire city is foreign to me. The concert is in two days and the Train-tickets are super expensive now. Moreover, the concert ends at around 11 pm and I have nowhere to crash. I genuinely don’ know what to do since this is very last moment for me.
Comments
^^^^AUTOMOD Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read this before contacting the mod team
Firstly, I am new to this sub so l apologise if the structure of my post is confusing.
I(18 M) am an International student who moved to the UK a few months ago. I recently (January
2025) became friends with a mutual(F 18) who connected with me through one of my friends and we started hanging out. She asked if I was interested in going to a concert (April 1st) with her because we realised we listen to the same artist.
We had been planning to go to this concert since February and came to the conclusion that we’ll be travelling together to go to the concert. Moreover, our plan was to stay with one of her friends (18 F) (whom l’ve never met) at her accom. During the last week of February, I asked her as to how we’ll be travelling together to the city since that is far away. She mentioned that she will either ask her uncle to pick us up or we can travel together via the train. However, she reassures me saying that we might need to have this conversation someday else because the train timetable was unreliable at around that time and that she wouldnt be comfortable using the trains because that wo be expensive for her as well. We mutually agree to this. Time passes, I keep mentioning it repeatedly throughout the month and she proceeds to dismiss me saying that she will ask her mother to drop us. A few days ago, l initiate a conversation about the travelling situation and she responds to it saying that her mom agreed to dropping us to the city. So I message her yesterday, asking her to make a travel plan with me. However, she sends me a text telling me that,
“I dont think my mom can take all of us cuz my brothers are gonna be in the car too.”
I respond with,
” so am i supposed to go alone or smth ?”
“Couldve told me a lil earlier, no?”
“Thought we were supposed to go together.”
“Its lowkey a lil weird since ur asking me to travel to a new city, alone?”
That’s all, shes hasn’t responded to me. I still haven’t confronted her yet l am planning to) but I just wanna know if I’m in the wrong here. I know that she isn’t obligated to take me there but the entire city is foreign to me. The concert is in two days and the Train-tickets are super expensive now. Moreover, the concert ends at around 11 pm and I have nowhere to crash. I genuinely don’ know what to do since this is very last moment for me.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our voting guide here, and remember to use only one judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> (1) confronting my friend for ditching me at the last moment.
(2) that might make me look selfish or self entitled.
Help keep the sub engaging!
Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
Click Here For Our Rules and Click Here For Our FAQ
Subreddit Announcements
Follow the link above to learn more
Check out our holiday break announcement here!
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
Nta
NTA she didn’t bother and you’re paying the consequences, time to find better friends
NTA. She’s a flake and a bad planner.
NTA but don’t expect much from confronting her. Sounds insufferable tbh. Might have dodged a bullet.
NTA, she is all the way for hiding this from you until the last minute. Don’t rely on her again or trust her.
Have you considered checking out the megabus type transports? Far cheaper.
It sounds like someone else said to her that it was weird and that’s gotten into her head now. Definitely NTA for you and I’m sorry that’s happened.
NTA
try trainline.com
you need to book accommodation or get overnight transport back to your city.
There’s no point in hanging around waiting – she’s not going to come to the party. Sort yourself out now.
You know not to rely on her and if you’re ever in that situation again and someone is stringing you along, start making your own plans.