I dont really know which sub is relevant, I wanted to get some peoples opinions on whether or not my mother is overreacting. Obviously names will be changed in order to protect identity, but here is the general idea of what is going on.
Family (Names changed obviously)
- Son – Tyson – 25
- Son – Peter – 23
- Daughter – Jessica – 17
- Daughter – Claire – 16
- Daughter – Linda – 21
- Daughters Friend – Emma – 16
My parents have been married since 2009, and their relationship has been rocky to say the least. Arguments, disagreements etc etc but they have been together for almost 26 years, so it is to be expected here and there.
They have 5 kids in total, 3 daughters and 2 sons. At the moment in time, only the two youngest daughters live at home, dad works away a lot with what he does and my mother is a stay at home mum. This is a general idea of how the household is, not many people at home often, apart from mum, as the two youngest are 16 and 17, they tend to be out with their friends.
This is where the story starts to get a little bit more interesting to say the least. Recently my parents have taken in one of my younger sisters friends to live with them, I’ll refer to her as Emma. Apparantely something happened between her and her father, and she isnt comfortable living at her home anymore. Social services agreed with this and then my parents agreed to take her in temporarily.
This went fine for the first 3-4 months or so, she seemed to integrate into the household pretty well. However, after the initial grace period, it seems that my dad has grown close to her. From the outside POV, it seems to be a father/daughter kind of relationship, not much more than that.
He has started taking the three girls out for day trips to local “tourist/travel” spots. Going ice skating and various other things, which I’ll admit, he didnt tend to do often before, but it serves as a good distraction for Emma as well as being good for my youngest sisters.
As well as this, if Emma has any issues or gets upset about anything or wants to talk about what happened between her father and her, the first person she goes to is Dad. They will sit in the kitchen together and talk about whatever is on her mind for hours.
During this, mum is normally in the living room watching TV or entertaining herself. But now she has started to act jealous, starting to get cold towards Emma, which seems a little undeserved. Now she is talking about getting security cameras in most rooms of the house, which is slightly far fetched, but I feel like she is just trying to prove her point about their relationship being weird.
Apart from this, nothing has really happened between Dad and Emma. So, what is everyone elses opinion? I mean, I know its not much to go on, but I’m not sure is she is overreacting slightly or not.
Thanks!
TL;DR – Youngest daughter has had a friend move into the family home and now Mum is jealous of her relationship with dad.
Comments
Your dad needs to be told to establish boundaries, since he can’t figure it out for himself. You are fortunately an objective adult observer here.
He’s flattered that the teenager sees him as a father, but hopefully he’s strong enough and has enough ethics to be sure that no boundaries are ever, EVER crossed.
You mum isn’t over-reacting so much as being very careful and cautious, and rightly so.
Shit happens. Even when good people are involved. Sometimes people make really bad decisions, but he IS the adult here, and needs to remain in control, and well advised to do so.
As an adult, you really should sit down with him, person to person, and have this open, frank and well thought out discussion before anything possibly happens, so that he pulls back and dials it all in.
Frankly I’m not so much worried about your mother as I am about the dad and more so, the teenager. Teenagers are really really really really STUPID because they’re not cooked yet.