The saddest truth is that you get used to it and forget how important it is to have friends. Some people never snap to this realization and remain alone forever.
Being alone is addicting. You get used to the quiet. The solitude. The freedom to do whatever, whenever that even in those moments you feel loneliness, you might not want to give up that addiction of being alone.
That it is all in your head. Was married for 16 years. Have kids off in college. Been alone for 6 now. Does not bother me a bit. Have no urge whatsoever to find another partner.
Having fond memories of relationships that were not so fond, but your mind tricks you into believing that it was good to encourage you to seek companionship.
I think it’s feeling like you’ve failed your ancestors who had to fight and live in holes they dug in the ground and now I’m just dying off because of media and now I’m lonely and ostracized and I guess it’s cool I am told this world is nothing compared to what God has in store for those in Jesus Christ.
Nobody cares. Actually, it’d be better if that were true. What’s actually true is that they judge you for it, harshly; in every breath, tone and expression.
it’s not just bad for you mentally, it’s physically killing you. increases your chances of cancer, heart attack, diabetes. The longer you are alone the harder it is to fix that. You get desperate, people hate weakness, they want it to die. No one is gonna help, even if someone does. now it’s been too long you’re psychotic, and anyone that helps you, is probably just gonna end up like you or worse.
For me it’s the realization that I want to be alone and would prefer not to have company all the time. I don’t think I could deal with it anymore. So being lonely makes me sad, but it’s a choice and I think I’d be worse off if I put myself out there more. Luckily I don’t get lonely often. But it happens.
I found the saddest truth about loneliness to be, the deviation from reality! You become so comfortable alone that when someone wants to enter that life, you must break down the multiple walls you have put up!
That, as an autistic person that thrives with your own routine, that being alone allows you to dictate that routine, making relationships hard and cohabitation even harder.
Well… It’s my Birthday today. 38. No one to wake upto, no text message, no social media notifications, no cards or candles. Just a silent house, I’ve made myself a birthday fry up. Watched a movie, played some xbox. The only words I’ll speak today is thank you to the delivery driver later when I order my weight in Chinese. Might have a few beers tonight, as long as I don’t let it get out of control.
And you know what. It’s fine. I don’t care, and haven’t for aong time. Lost all feeling long ago so now there’s nothing but numbness.
To me it’s that they are synonymous. Sorrow is loneliness. It is a popular pondering that it is why God uses his infinite power of creation and the illusion of separate souls.
That the vast majority of people discussing loneliness, even in this thread, have never known the despair that comes from forced loneliness.
Most posts here describe loneliness as a choice, an addiction, something that you have decided for yourself, but can also get yourself out of if you truly desire so. But soul-crushing loneliness doesn’t start until that choice is taken away from you, until you’ve genuinely lost the ability to form any form of relationship, no matter how willing you are, or how hard you try. Not something that lasts a few months, but decades if not your entire life.
I think COVID quarantine is the closest most “regular” people will come to experience what this form of loneliness actually feels like, because it may be the only time in our lives where socializing was taken out of our hands.
I describe it like water: If you live in a 1st-world country where unlimited amounts of clean drinking water is available, then water isn’t a big deal, you just drink it if needed and go on with your day. But if you live in a place where water is scarce, then your whole existence revolves around it. It’s easy to preach “learning to love being alone” when you have control over when and how long said loneliness will last, but no matter how much you’ve learned to appreciate your own company, years of uninterrupted solitude will eventually wear you out
I love being on my own. Genuinely. I grew up as an only child and I’ve had relationships over the years, hell I’ve even got a good thing going with a like minded woman.
I’ve just never felt the need or want to have constant company.
Being lonely becomes a powerful loop of itself that can seem impossible to break and even when you do manage to break from it, going back to its comfort can be so tantalizing.
You understand the night. You prefer absence. When the light lays low and the sun bows out. When its siblings open their eyes to meet you. You like that still, that stall.
Those are the parts you find reinforcing or strengthening.
What’s sad is that you don’t mind. You find out that you don’t mourn the togetherness you used to thrive in. You don’t feel a wound. Nothing actually left you, and you surrendered nothing but attachment.
You stop knowing how to speak. Spend a while alone, but really alone, without talking to people, at least face to face, and when you have to do it, you’ll be stuck for words, you won’t know how to do it simply because you haven’t done it for so long, that you won’t be able to.
Happened to me many times, especially after periods of illness or “vacation,” when since I didn’t have to go to class, I didn’t really talk to anyone. When I came back, even if I knew what I wanted to say, my words hesitated, stumbled, or didn’t come out. I had simply fallen out of practice at something as simple as speaking.
Eventually you get used to it. Then you start to love it. At some point, you no longer understand how broken you have become. You are no longer even able to make any connections.
It makes having close relationships tough for me. Whenever I come around to letting someone in, I get very attached just to realize the feelings aren’t shared and I retreat to being alone. The cycle never seems to end. I think I set myself up for failure in the hopes of not feeling so alone anymore.
That once you get comfortable with it, you really don’t long for anything. And that in itself is life changing and no one will ever understand why you just don’t want to be with anyone or you’re not bothered by anything anyone does at all.
You get desperate enough for it to end that you might end up accepting some terrible treatment by some terrible people, because hey, “it’s better than being alone, right?”
That any and everyone experiences it. You could have everything most people desire (good-looking, successful, smart, funny, etc) and still experience crushing loneliness.
The saddest part is that people know they just don’t care. In fact, they will avoid you thinking that it’s your fault and that you’re lonely for a reason. Everyone will be on guard around you and look for the smallest, tiniest thing to prove to themselves that it’s your fault you’re lonely.
You can’t stay away from people and also make friends/spend time with friends.
I once went a prolonged time without seeing friends, felt all kinds of bad that they didn’t visit me, before I realised I was the one rebuffing all their advances and offers to hang out, one at a time, until they slowed and eventually stopped making those offers.
The second I made an effort with them again we were all fast friends again, you can’t keep rejecting people and expect them to keep trying forever.
I lived alone and lonely for almost 3 years until I fell in love. Here are some things that bothered me
1- all those years, nobody checks on you and you rarely check on others
2 – You don’t see the point of weekends. Friday evening after work feels meh
3 – if you don’t have any hobbies, there’s a chance you would end up into habits that self-sabotage yourself.
4 – Its gonna be hard to socialize after a while if you don’t make up effort .
5 – You are most vulnerable when you fall sick. That’s when you feel ALONE
Pros
I skydived, learned boxing, learned skateboarding and saved some money
Idk, there are many sad truths about loneliness but luckily there are many ways to deal with it / lessons to be learned from it aswell. It’s not the worst thing in this world really.
I feel numb to everything tbh. I tune out everyone. Work like a robot and go home. Sometimes I feel sad that I’m not included but I also don’t have the energy to be included.
I refuse to take help from anyone and do everything on my own.
Someone helping me just makes me feel weak or incapable which makes me feel like shit.
It’s very rare for me to get along with people. Or people just hold me to a higher standard and I feel good but I also feel like shit and exhausted.
I’m a 20 something year old woman but I feel like an old lady that no one wants to talk to coz she’s a little too intense
Some of us are lonely by choice, we have built up the walls to avoid getting hurt again so much. The reality is we still hurt. There is no one checking on you. It solidifies in your mind that no one really cares and the people that try to get in have a nefarious motive.
People don’t care and usually believe it’s your fault for being lonely. Like it can only happen if there’s something inherently wrong with you as a person
It’s so fricking easy to stop caring about anything and spiral ..
I am so lucky to get out of this … And honestly didn’t really have a reason to be lonely in the first place it was circumstance.
Comments
Being lonely 😭😭
The saddest truth is that you get used to it and forget how important it is to have friends. Some people never snap to this realization and remain alone forever.
Nobody really checks up on you :/
Being alone is addicting. You get used to the quiet. The solitude. The freedom to do whatever, whenever that even in those moments you feel loneliness, you might not want to give up that addiction of being alone.
That it is all in your head. Was married for 16 years. Have kids off in college. Been alone for 6 now. Does not bother me a bit. Have no urge whatsoever to find another partner.
Now being bored is a different story.
Having fond memories of relationships that were not so fond, but your mind tricks you into believing that it was good to encourage you to seek companionship.
If people and the world aren’t approaching you, then you have to approach them or get used to solitude.
it’s either all u want or everything u hate. or both at times.
I had a wife and kids and I felt more lonely than I’m currently without them..
I miss the kids but atleast I can do what i want without someone judging me constantly
That it’s not synonymous with being alone.
The saddest truth about being lonely is that you’re not alone.
You forget how to be kind to other people. Not the intention of kindness, but the expression, when a kind word is appropriate, that sort of thing.
It’s even worse if you are fully self-aware of the void 😞
I think it’s feeling like you’ve failed your ancestors who had to fight and live in holes they dug in the ground and now I’m just dying off because of media and now I’m lonely and ostracized and I guess it’s cool I am told this world is nothing compared to what God has in store for those in Jesus Christ.
Nobody cares. Actually, it’d be better if that were true. What’s actually true is that they judge you for it, harshly; in every breath, tone and expression.
Not really knowing how to approach people without seeming creepy or reaching out to those you do have feeling like your bothering them
it’s not just bad for you mentally, it’s physically killing you. increases your chances of cancer, heart attack, diabetes. The longer you are alone the harder it is to fix that. You get desperate, people hate weakness, they want it to die. No one is gonna help, even if someone does. now it’s been too long you’re psychotic, and anyone that helps you, is probably just gonna end up like you or worse.
There’s nothing you can do to change
For me it’s the realization that I want to be alone and would prefer not to have company all the time. I don’t think I could deal with it anymore. So being lonely makes me sad, but it’s a choice and I think I’d be worse off if I put myself out there more. Luckily I don’t get lonely often. But it happens.
That you can be totally fine being alone and still crave something more.
I love my life, but I wonder very often how much better it might be if I found the right person that compliments it.
The saddest truth about loneliness is that it is always better than being accompanied by surrounding humans 😉🤷🏾♂️
You don’t have friends
Nobody is coming.
Its often the better, less stressful and pain creating option. As a lonely guy, everyone i talk to just crys about how they get hurt
Suffering in silence
No one checks on you. I always check on others but its not given back.
That u can’t feel ur self worth, so u start hurting those who care about u. If loneliness killed, it would’ve been less bad.
You get used to it
When the client said, ‘Your job is easy, you just have to type a little’… that’s when my soul quietly resigned.
I found the saddest truth about loneliness to be, the deviation from reality! You become so comfortable alone that when someone wants to enter that life, you must break down the multiple walls you have put up!
All the work you do to prepare to have friends and relationships only to find loneliness in those situations.
I was in a house full of people. I think that is the loneliest lonely
You either deserve it or you think you deserve it.
It’s really bad for your overall physical health
No matter what, nobody believes you are. People don’t know the difference between being alone and feeling lonely.
That, as an autistic person that thrives with your own routine, that being alone allows you to dictate that routine, making relationships hard and cohabitation even harder.
That technically we all are lonely to some degree.
I think the saddest thing is realizing no one cares.
That you could be dead in your apartment for years until someone notice you
Well… It’s my Birthday today. 38. No one to wake upto, no text message, no social media notifications, no cards or candles. Just a silent house, I’ve made myself a birthday fry up. Watched a movie, played some xbox. The only words I’ll speak today is thank you to the delivery driver later when I order my weight in Chinese. Might have a few beers tonight, as long as I don’t let it get out of control.
And you know what. It’s fine. I don’t care, and haven’t for aong time. Lost all feeling long ago so now there’s nothing but numbness.
To me it’s that they are synonymous. Sorrow is loneliness. It is a popular pondering that it is why God uses his infinite power of creation and the illusion of separate souls.
the fact that you get left to your own devices and 5/10 times. it does not go well
The worst feeling is that even if you have people around you, you still feel empty and lonely.
No one knows how lonely you are.
That there’s nobody who cares how lonely you are
People talk bad about you infront of your face, because they feel like they have more of a voice than you.
The longer you’re alone the less you want to go out and see people, but the more you think you should.
That the vast majority of people discussing loneliness, even in this thread, have never known the despair that comes from forced loneliness.
Most posts here describe loneliness as a choice, an addiction, something that you have decided for yourself, but can also get yourself out of if you truly desire so. But soul-crushing loneliness doesn’t start until that choice is taken away from you, until you’ve genuinely lost the ability to form any form of relationship, no matter how willing you are, or how hard you try. Not something that lasts a few months, but decades if not your entire life.
I think COVID quarantine is the closest most “regular” people will come to experience what this form of loneliness actually feels like, because it may be the only time in our lives where socializing was taken out of our hands.
I describe it like water: If you live in a 1st-world country where unlimited amounts of clean drinking water is available, then water isn’t a big deal, you just drink it if needed and go on with your day. But if you live in a place where water is scarce, then your whole existence revolves around it. It’s easy to preach “learning to love being alone” when you have control over when and how long said loneliness will last, but no matter how much you’ve learned to appreciate your own company, years of uninterrupted solitude will eventually wear you out
I love being on my own. Genuinely. I grew up as an only child and I’ve had relationships over the years, hell I’ve even got a good thing going with a like minded woman.
I’ve just never felt the need or want to have constant company.
The saddest part about being lonely is other people knowing you’re lonely.
It makes you unfun to be around and increases the likelyhood of being lonlier
All the other Viltrumites are scared of me
It feeds on itself in a number of ways.
The more lonely you are, the more you withdraw. The more you withdraw, the more lonely you become.
Loneliness tanks your mental health and self-confidence, and those declining will in turn intensify the loneliness.
I feel like there are so many lonely people who would find happiness with each other, if only they had the chance of meeting 🙁
Most people don’t care
That it’s feal special in the heart ,there isn’t relation to outside , all feelings depend on u
That it’s feal special in the heart ,there isn’t relation to outside , all feelings depend on u.
Being lonely becomes a powerful loop of itself that can seem impossible to break and even when you do manage to break from it, going back to its comfort can be so tantalizing.
“poses health risks as deadly as smoking up to 15 cigarettes daily,” https://www.pbs.org/newshour/health/loneliness-poses-health-risks-as-deadly-as-smoking-u-s-surgeon-general-says
she is the most faithful there is, once you get used to her, she never leaves you again
You understand the night. You prefer absence. When the light lays low and the sun bows out. When its siblings open their eyes to meet you. You like that still, that stall.
Those are the parts you find reinforcing or strengthening.
What’s sad is that you don’t mind. You find out that you don’t mourn the togetherness you used to thrive in. You don’t feel a wound. Nothing actually left you, and you surrendered nothing but attachment.
So if it didn’t hurt…how much did it matter?
You were never meant to be among others.
You stop knowing how to speak. Spend a while alone, but really alone, without talking to people, at least face to face, and when you have to do it, you’ll be stuck for words, you won’t know how to do it simply because you haven’t done it for so long, that you won’t be able to.
Happened to me many times, especially after periods of illness or “vacation,” when since I didn’t have to go to class, I didn’t really talk to anyone. When I came back, even if I knew what I wanted to say, my words hesitated, stumbled, or didn’t come out. I had simply fallen out of practice at something as simple as speaking.
You don’t realise it at the time but if you don’t flex the social skill muscles every so often you lose them.
Thankfully I’m no longer lonely but I’m half the person I was before I spent years living alone with no real friends to talk to or spend time with.
Eventually you get used to it. Then you start to love it. At some point, you no longer understand how broken you have become. You are no longer even able to make any connections.
It makes having close relationships tough for me. Whenever I come around to letting someone in, I get very attached just to realize the feelings aren’t shared and I retreat to being alone. The cycle never seems to end. I think I set myself up for failure in the hopes of not feeling so alone anymore.
No matter your social history or how outgoing you once were, if you don’t use it you WILL lose it.
“Getting back out there” is so difficult it is insane.
That once you get comfortable with it, you really don’t long for anything. And that in itself is life changing and no one will ever understand why you just don’t want to be with anyone or you’re not bothered by anything anyone does at all.
Its addicting, until its not.
You get desperate enough for it to end that you might end up accepting some terrible treatment by some terrible people, because hey, “it’s better than being alone, right?”
That any and everyone experiences it. You could have everything most people desire (good-looking, successful, smart, funny, etc) and still experience crushing loneliness.
Nothing.
That NOBODY cares truly cares.
You can have a full and successful life and still feel lonely inside.
That lonely people don’t shut up about it on reddit
The saddest part is that people know they just don’t care. In fact, they will avoid you thinking that it’s your fault and that you’re lonely for a reason. Everyone will be on guard around you and look for the smallest, tiniest thing to prove to themselves that it’s your fault you’re lonely.
It’s a perpetual, double-edged sword.
Being lonely fucking rules
It’s likely your fault.
You can’t stay away from people and also make friends/spend time with friends.
I once went a prolonged time without seeing friends, felt all kinds of bad that they didn’t visit me, before I realised I was the one rebuffing all their advances and offers to hang out, one at a time, until they slowed and eventually stopped making those offers.
The second I made an effort with them again we were all fast friends again, you can’t keep rejecting people and expect them to keep trying forever.
Doing both the cooking and the cleaning really gets old.
It will make You hate yourself
I get socially awkward when I stay alone for long time
You always remember you aren’t anybody’s first choice
Personally I think assuming having someone around would make you no lonely
Facing depression alone
No one knows…
It’s probably your fault.
That it gradually gets worse over time and never gets better…well maybe hopefully it does but it hasn’t yet
No one to watch Wrestlmania with
I lived alone and lonely for almost 3 years until I fell in love. Here are some things that bothered me
1- all those years, nobody checks on you and you rarely check on others
2 – You don’t see the point of weekends. Friday evening after work feels meh
3 – if you don’t have any hobbies, there’s a chance you would end up into habits that self-sabotage yourself.
4 – Its gonna be hard to socialize after a while if you don’t make up effort .
5 – You are most vulnerable when you fall sick. That’s when you feel ALONE
Pros
I skydived, learned boxing, learned skateboarding and saved some money
Or when they forget the reason they left u hanging and start lying to cover things up and it snowballs
That it might actually the best option for the people who don’t realise that.
Just how far the type of treatment you’ll allow yourself to go through just so that the few that do talk with you stay in your life and “care” for you
Just how far the type of treatment you’ll allow yourself to go through just so that the few that do talk with you stay in your life and “care” for you
Idk, there are many sad truths about loneliness but luckily there are many ways to deal with it / lessons to be learned from it aswell. It’s not the worst thing in this world really.
That there are studies that show that loneliness reduces your lifespan significantly
Being in a middle of the crowd, yet having a feeling that if you simply walk away, no one will notice a thing. The loneliest i’ve ever felt.
I feel numb to everything tbh. I tune out everyone. Work like a robot and go home. Sometimes I feel sad that I’m not included but I also don’t have the energy to be included.
I refuse to take help from anyone and do everything on my own.
Someone helping me just makes me feel weak or incapable which makes me feel like shit.
It’s very rare for me to get along with people. Or people just hold me to a higher standard and I feel good but I also feel like shit and exhausted.
I’m a 20 something year old woman but I feel like an old lady that no one wants to talk to coz she’s a little too intense
That it isn’t necessarily because you’re socially isolated, single, live aline, etc. you can be surrounded by people but completely lonely
It’s an addiction that’s hurting you
Some of us are lonely by choice, we have built up the walls to avoid getting hurt again so much. The reality is we still hurt. There is no one checking on you. It solidifies in your mind that no one really cares and the people that try to get in have a nefarious motive.
People don’t care and usually believe it’s your fault for being lonely. Like it can only happen if there’s something inherently wrong with you as a person
It’s so fricking easy to stop caring about anything and spiral ..
I am so lucky to get out of this … And honestly didn’t really have a reason to be lonely in the first place it was circumstance.
Seeing people laugh with their friends when you try to get through the day.