Asking for a friend.
Just want to know how guys cope and how different it is for girls.
Answer in anyway you want it to be.
Open for discussion. ☺️
Asking for a friend.
Just want to know how guys cope and how different it is for girls.
Answer in anyway you want it to be.
Open for discussion. ☺️
Comments
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That is a riddle..
You can solve and you’re good to go ahead..
I never did it in a healthy manner, lots of partying and flings. Plenty of fun stories to remember now since it seems I fortunately made it through without too much damage, but I hope I can help come up with a better solution for my sons when they get older.
You just gotta be miserable and in touch with your pain until it passes. Don’t get wasted or high.
Talk to your friends.
Go to an AA meeting, maybe even if you aren’t an alcoholic.
There is no linear way to get over an ex. But some people find rebound sex useful in accelerating their post-breakup recovery.
Men will have their heart broken and still feel it months later. Woman will have their heart broken, then sleep with their Ex-Boyfriends best buddy as revenge 🤣
White knuckle it. After 30, you’re an established grown man and no one cares if your heart gets broken or your feelings get hurt.
Last year I experienced the most excruciating heartbreak of my life. Several months passed with every moment feeling like an eternity of anguish. But eventually, the pain became less acute, and I gradually became functional again.
Ultimately, time is the salve, but that’s useless advice for someone going through it. Therapy and having a solid support structure in place with friends & family can help get you through it.
I went out to the park and threw a boomerang for two days. I caught it twice. it really hurt. Wear gloves.
Time is the only cure. It’s not different for women. We’re all human. A broken heart is a broken heart.
Lots of people, myself included, have flings. But that’s more of a reaction than a cope. Personally, fucking someone new never helped me get over a broken heart. The girls I hooked up with after a break up were girls that I would never normally sleep with.
I usually throw myself into my hobbies for a couple of weeks while listening to a breakup mix lol then I look for a rebound, I’m a simple man.
Last time it happened, I got with someone new, which did the trick. Sometimes you need a break between relationships, but I felt like I was in a good place in life, and the heartbreak was a result of incompatibilities and frankly their issues.
https://preview.redd.it/78bcj4bde7we1.jpeg?width=590&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b2327d90cf74a8d6a4b0b58ede91e0d79f276a29
real real heartbreak? at first we act like its exactly what we wanted. Then we try to convince ourselves its what we wanted. then the heartbreak really sets in and you either go cold or or distant (or both). Then you sleep with anything everything to stop the heart from hurting. Then you find a hobby or somethign to hyperfocus on till you heal.
some of us are ready to to love again. some of us are not. both are okay. Hope your friend heals – its been 2 years for me and i like being alone and only having to worry about my dog
Duct tape it back together
Cope? Deal?
I’ve been bottling it away for nearly 40 years.
Just pick myself up, dust myself down and start all over again.
The fastest way to get over someone is to replace them.
An actual solution for me is meeting someone new.
A joint and ufc
Gym.
I think it varies from heartbreak to heartbreak. It’s a form of mourning.
When my dog River died, we knew it was coming and we sent her off in a dignified way, and I was able to have that conversation with myself over and over to help suppress the waves of grief. She was the best girl.
When I got ghosted by a girl I thought was a long-term probability, that was harder. I had no reason to look to, and I spiraled for a while. I had insomnia so bad I went to my doctor for a sleep aid. I thought I was going to lose my mind.
Grieving is mostly the same for me – a familiar dismal feeling that overwhelms you and it waxes and wanes. The only salve is time. I think rebounds are a bad thing. Just a way of transferring some of your shitty feelings to someone else.
I realised one thing to NOT do – avoiding the pain of a heartbreak.
Such pain will snowball into something bigger as time passes. Better deal with it there and then than carry it with you for a period of time. When reliving such a pain, a man will become emotional and show his weakness. In case it is your friend – just be around him when he is going to be at his bottom. Do not try to heal him, judge him or disregard his emotions – he needs to find his own way out of it. (If he is going to be failing to relieve it by himself – therapy might be a good idea). Presence is the utmost important, let him go through the emotions without any judgements and opinions. Hopefully, you will see him rise soon enough.
Good luck to you and your friend!🙏
The worst thing you can do is isolate.
Go to the beach (or similar if not close to a beach) with friends or family. People underestimate the impact activities with people you love have on your mental health.
Gym and music have always done wonders for me in my alone time. Put on some music and do pull-ups and dips until you need a nap lol
I moved on … every time … from my wife 25 years ago and then from almost all of the next 12 girlfriends. Been with this one 10 yrs but now we’re old and mostly dinner companions. But just move on. There are others.
First time I drank a lot and slept with a lot of women for about 10 months. Don’t suggest it. After that I just let it go, not worth the hassle.
Play Geetar!!
First time I drank a lot and slept with a lot of women for about 10 months. Don’t suggest it. After that I just let it go, not worth the hassle.
Men cope differently. Ended up drinking and gaming. Then realized that won’t better my situation. Got back exercising and eating better. Which gave me more confidence in myself.
You can cry but like I said. It doesn’t help the situation.
Find things that distract your mind that will also benefit you, music, sports, pickle ball, hike, wood working, automotive repair, cooking. Stimulates more receptors then gaming at night or reading.
A combination of time, isolation, and self reflection.
Usually with anything that makes me feel good about myself. Life is about waking up and liking what you see in the mirror. During a break up you just need a lot more of that. Exercise, eating right, skin care.
It’s been a couple years now and I still feel it every day. I don’t even know that it’s hurt less over time, just that I react to it better now than when it was fresh.
Gym and get back into a hobby
Breakfast food
Not a great coping mechanism but drinking helps. Easier not to think about or feel the pain if you’re completely wasted.
The first time, you go all in and get completely wrecked.
Each time afterwards, you learn to put less at stake.
Just like investing, you need to diversify your portfolio, and invest big in the reliable and timeless commodities.
Faith. Friends. Fitness. Future.
The best relationships end in death, and many more fall far short of that. Love, but love with temperance, because the one you love is frail and human.
Drink for a few days , hit the gym like an animal to transfer pain into something useful . Don’t rush into another relationship it’ll do more harm than good
TLDR: just give it time, cry a lot, lean into your circle, and take care of yourself physically
I’m three months into a break up that absolutely wrecked me mentally and emotionally. Although most of them aren’t located in the city I’m currently living in, I’m absolutely blessed to have an amazing circle of family and friends that I’ve leaned into so hard since this all went down. They have been the #1 thing that has saved me thus far.
Outside of that, the only other things that’ve helped me is just letting time pass, ugly crying when I feel like crying, and staying consistent with the gym and on the jiu jitsu mats.
On the other hand, I’ve smoked far too much weed when the thoughts and feelings are getting too loud in my head. I wouldn’t recommend it for anyone else, but I did what I had to do in the moment.
When my first marriage ended, even though I wanted to divorce, and I get custody of the kids and kept the house and the car I was still heartbroken. We were together for seven years so I basically bought a weight bench about 400 pounds of weight some dumbbells and all I did at night was work out all the time.
I recently had to deal with a terribly broken heart. Had to move and living alone was quite depressing. What helped me is going on a lot of walks and just doing a lot of introspection. It took time but I was eventually able to separate my feelings for her from the actual reality of the situation. Rather than dwelling on my loneliness and missing her I chose to focus on the things about the relationship that i hadn’t been happy with but ignored because I was receiving affection. It’s surprising how quickly you realize all the ways the relationship wasn’t working once you don’t see the person daily.
Some other things that I think are essential for coping. Go no contact. I still stayed in contact with her cuz we wanted to stay friends. Huge mistake, it just made moving on harder. Focus on other forms of love. It’s easy to kind of put friends and family on the back burner when you’re infatuated with a partner. I chose to put more energy in strengthening relationships with my friends and family. It’s not healthy to get all your affection from one person. Lastly I focused on hobbies that I hadn’t had as much time for while dating. Keeping busy helped me to realize there much more to life than having a girlfriend
I went on the piss, and fucked anything with a hole
I usually spend a few weeks just embracing the sad and doing self care. Eat well, exercise, get sunshine, regular sleep.
Then I reach out to friends and family and spend more time doing the things I love. Hobbies, mini vacations, getting out in nature, etc.
The pain doesn’t go away overnight and I don’t expect it to. If I find myself dwelling unhealthily or looping on the same thoughts I write them down or talk to my therapist about them. Putting the hard thoughts/feels down on page usually helps get it out of your head a bit.
The few times I experienced this, I just focused on work and doing things I enjoyed doing when single. Didn’t really have any close friends to support me and certainly no need for therapy. I learned at a young age there would be very hard times in life and that they were just bumps in the road.
Exercise helped me
Gave me purpose
Gave me confidence
And got me a lot more attention too
The good kind
The sexy kind
All in all, an eventual win
Just bury it deep down and quit trying.
When I was very young I’d drink myself into oblivion while ruminating and socially withdrawing.
When my marriage ended at 32, I took that opportunity to better myself. I took the pain and turned it into motivation to establish better habits, eat better, exercise, self-reflect a d self-improveme mentally/emotionally, I started taking care of various things I’d been putting off and neglecting, etc etc.
It’s been a while, but generally my method has been to crawl into a whiskey bottle until my life comes crashing down around me and I have to get my shit together and keep carrying on.
It’s super ineffective and I don’t recommend it
Honestly, for what, what has always worked best is to sleep with other people.
The emotional pain will still be there, but the “pain of desire” goes away.
Instead of my X rated thoughts being about an ex they will become of the next, or next or next or next, woman.
As soon as my “thoughts of desire” are turned away from my ex I find it is much easier to get rid of the emotional pain which is way worse.
I get depressed for months or years, depending how involved i was. First relationship took me about 5 years to get over, which is crazy. I don’t do anything to cope more than therapy, i just get very sad and don’t wanna do anything
I’m an older man. I was in a relationship with someone I was friends with for three years and we were “committed” for about another year. I was certain we were going to be approaching the runway for the landing of our life stories together. She got scared and discarded me. It hurt terribly for over a year after, because I broke all the rules. With the benefit of hindsight, here is how I wished I had handled it:
Upon notification of the other parties intent to leave, simply say “I don’t agree with this decision you are making for the both of us, but you have the freedom to chose how and with whom you spend your time and I’ll respect that.” “I’ve been through this before and to minimize the damage, we need to not speak for a while. I’ll reach out to close any loose ends once I’ve cleared my head.”
Then, go 100% no contact. This means do not look at any social media, do not text, no phones, no drive-bys. Let nature do the work on them.
Then, to manage your pain, you can cheat a bit. Go to your doctor and tell them you have “debilitating anxiety and depression which is impacting your job.” They can prescribe a few things to help.
This next part is where the rubber meets the road. Walk for at least an hour a day. 2.5 if you can, preferably in the sun. Eat healthily. Stay away from drugs (outside of the forementioned). Stay completely away from caffeine and alcohol.
Write down things that were problematic or that annoyed you in large ink on a notepad and check it out when you start to spiral.
Lean on friends, but not too much. Nobody will be able to relate unless they are going through the same thing. This is an all-out war with your mind, it just feels like your heart.
I wish your friend the best of luck.
Out sight, out of mind…and then again…that’s not really true, but it does help to keep yourself occupied and stay away from her. Do not call, ask her not to communicate with you. Do not look at old pictures and messages etc… Time is a healer!
Red Bull and Monsters to get through the day. Melatonin to get through the night. Do my very best to not put on an extra 50lbs by stuffing my face with comfort foods. It’s a fight to get up and carry on when your hearts heavy but it’s always reassuring to know time will heal you.
For me each time I felt it deep and wallowed in it for 2-3 months. Tried talking about it with friends and family, tried ignoring it, even attempted to convince my ex to get back together. The only thing that I’ve found to work is to hate that person with every fiber of your being. It’s crazy, you have to go from loving, and caring for them, and finding them attractive to convincing yourself you absolutely loathe them
I hang out with my friends a lot
Alcohol, more women and dating apps.
Delete social media. Hit the gym. Get a good meal and watch an action movie.
It really depends. Sure time Will heal. But can u identify some of your own shortcomings in the relationship? To me personally it was extremely painful to look my own shortcomings in the face. But once i did i had some real goals/objectives to become better. It still hurts to think what if i realised it sooner what if i did that or this. But having in my case several objectives to improve and realising i would be more ‘dateable’ really helped me move on. Wish u the best king
Whiskey and self loathing for a few weeks to a month. Then working out and getting myself right.
AMP (Asian Massage Parlor).
Learning how to accept the situation for what it is. You rather accept the broken heart now than be sulking in misery for the rest of your life. It’s a ending relationship, not the end of your life. a lost battle, not a lost war. You live to love another woman another day.. As a man. don’t kill yourself over it. There’s always a good beautiful woman out there somewhere available to you.
I get Fit AF! 💪🏽
start Something usefull with your time Go to the Gym, do some diy, art or travel. Something that keeps you occupied..
Workoholism. I just burry myself in work.
I had a friend who would let me talk and talk and talk without judgement and just listened.
Therapy did not work for me.
Then; neditation, golf, gym, learned to ride a motorbike, stopped drinking etc.
Don’t seriously date, but do go out on fun dates. Learn about you again and let time do its thing.
Acknowledge pain when it happens, but don’t let it consume you. Recognise which part of grief you will be in (it all jumps around). The pain is hard, but I promise you will be stronger and wiser after going through it. It took me a few years after my 14 year relationship ended. I know now it was the best thing to do.
Go to the gym and throw heavy shit around.
Go to jiujitsu/mma and beat up dudes.
Ride my motorcycles fast.
Don’t talk much. Don’t wanna be around anyone but my dogs.
A few weeks later I feel much better and seeing things less emotionally more logically and usually start seeing thing much clearer and get happier I’m done with that.
Later think a lot about what I learned from that heartbreak. Try to apply those lessons to everything going forward.
Mine was a last straw for me, so I got a rescued dog at a no kill shelter. She had high anxiety and took time to gain her trust. It kind of helped me with my own patients with women realizing that the anxiety isn’t just my own but then too. Only difference was that my dog was adopted where as women do not have to deal with me at all.
She helped me a lot feeling loved as well.
So I would suggest putting that love you saved and put it into an animal that needs a home.
I just stopped dating so I never have to deal with it again.
good friends.
By doing things I like.
After my long term relationship ended, I got back into working out, something I always enjoyed. Also started spending more money on myself, be it for food, wardrobe or stuff that I don’t need but just want. And having more night outs with whoever will have a night out with me.
The Gym Welcome’s, The Gym Loves, The Gym Soothes.
No, for real. Pour that Heartache into bettering your health.
I primary deal with it by derealization and disassociation.
I eat pussy
Did she leave him? If so, after 10 new girls he won’t remember her.