I’m 22, from Texas. After graduating high school in 2021, I didn’t do much, just fell into bad habits. I spent a year smoking and drinking, not doing anything with my life. I realized I was wasting time and decided to do something about it, so I went to trade school and learn how to weld. I worked for a company that assembled conveyors as a welder for a little while after trade school until I was 21, then I made the decision to join the military. I enlisted into the Kentucky national guard
After finishing basic and AIT as a 11B on August 20, 2025, I had about 4,000 saved. Before i enlisted I had a welding job lined up, but after graduating it didn’t fall through. I flew back home to Texas and moved in with my aunte and uncle, who have been incredibly supportive and understanding. I tried to use my money wisely, gave some to people who needed it, which might not have been the smartest thing to do in my situation, but it felt right at the time. The rest I spent too fast.I should have bought a car. That was a mistake.
I applied to Dallas Fire Academy— it’s always been a dream of mine. But I didn’t have the college credits hours or active duty time required. I’ve since applied to every welding job I could find nearby, plus warehouse, construction and landscaping work. It’s been a month and I haven’t heard back. Recently I even applied at Waffle House just to get something going and save enough to buy a vehicle and maybe chase oilfield work in midland or the surrounding areas but they cancelled my interview.
I’m trying, but it feels like nothing is landing, no car, no job and dwindling pride. I feel like I’m just taking up space in my aunt and uncle’s house. They’ve done nothing but support me, but I feel like a grown man being taken care of and that’s eating me up.
This isn’t about blaming anyone but myself. I know I put myself in this situation. But lately, it feels like I’m dragging people down. Like maybe the word would be better off without me. I don’t know where to go from here and I’m just mentally tired of it.
People tend to say “you matter” to people who want to end things but I don’t see it. I provide nothing to society at all and that’s ok some people aren’t meant to live long lives and I’m on. I’m making this post so people who might want to know why I did what I’m goin to do understand why.
Comments
The economy is horrible and you cannot blame yourself for that. There are many people with masters who cannot find a job after 6 months. It’s just a cycle. But like all cycles it peaks and dips so you know that this will not be the norm if you keep on trying. The most successful people in life aren’t the smartest, the ones who always make the right decision, or those born into it. It’s quite often, from my experience, the ones who never give up.
I’m sure your aunt and uncle appreciate having you around the house. Maybe help them as much as you can with housework, I know that means a lot at an older age. I know that if you leave, the lingering question will always be “did i do enough?” It’s really such a burdensome question to give someone.
22, national guard, depressed…. you are building up grit and strength that you don’t see, yet. if you were 42 i’d say ok i understand but at 22 that’s just impatience and being weak man. i was fat, broke, no girls up until 27, but i didn’t complain because i embraced the challenge of life and then my world started changing fast and ended up a multi millionaire at 35. im 43 now and life ain’t ever perfect and you realize that’s ok, it’s part of the journey for us all. don’t miss out on what life can offer you w some more grit and patience man. The universe is testing you… do you want to fail the test or see how strong you really can be?
It sounds like you’re doing all the right things except giving yourself a little grace in a tough situation. If I had a kid who had put as much into making something of himself as you have, I’d be proud. Don’t rob the world of the future great version of yourself. Hang in there. Talk to somebody. Please.
How did you come out of AIT with only 4k? What were you buying in AIT?
Also did the guard get you a clearance? Just go in clearancejobs and start applying for security guard positions
The world has been unkind to your generation. You won’t be the only one in this situation. It’s not a moral failing that you are struggling. Hang in there.
I’m not gonna say you matter cause I don’t know to who you do or don’t, I’d guess you do but that’s neither here nor there, what I will say is that your idea of being a grown man who is being taken care of is way off. You’re hardly a fully grown man at 22. You have the option of having so many years ahead of you, you’ve barely started in life and it’s real early to be giving up. Life is hard and this might not even be the hardest it gets but nothing lasts forever and this feeling that it’s the worst won’t last forever either. It’s a moment in time, let it pass and give yourself a chance to see what’s next.