“I am the ancient storm god Krakus; I reward your insolent curiosity with the gift of ceaseless perspiration which will bless you and your children for centuries.”
(Pull) Why is this cupboard open? (Pull) Please put empty containers in the recycling! (Pull) The toilet has a lever on the side to flush it. Try it sometime! (Pull) Did anyone feed the dogs?
Quite commonly when I rage at games I’ll try to say “Fuck you” and “Fucking hell” to insult the game at the same time, which comes out as “fUCKing YOU”. So probably that
The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.
“My head hurts”
“Did i ask your opinion” (said to minecraft villagers)
“60% of the time, it works 100% of the time”
“My head really hurts”
“OK I’ll start on that when I get home”
“I love you.”
“I’ll be back.”
“It takes crazy to deal with crazy.”
“Don’t make the same mistakes I did, Do better.”
“Accepting Jesus is the only way into heaven, but God doesn’t want robots or not he would have never created free will.”
” You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink.”
” I have to go to work because you can’t live on love”
It would need to have ADSB-in, if there’s an airplane within 2 miles it would say “airplane” in a happy childish voice. Otherwise it just asks for “Hugs?”
I say this every now and then when I’m mentally exhausted a conversation. There’s no follow-up. I don’t know what “they say.” But people almost never notice, or they just nod and shrug in agreement. This started accidentally, and now I just say it pretty often.
Comments
“Kill me”
“It is what it is” “If I can reach ya, I can hit ya!” “You want some cake?”
How can i make this stupider, im bored.
Woowww
“You’re not dying. Stop it.”
“I am the ancient storm god Krakus; I reward your insolent curiosity with the gift of ceaseless perspiration which will bless you and your children for centuries.”
Don’t pull my string! Pull my finger.
Fucksakes
“K”
“Totally”
“You and I are very different people”
“Oh for fucks sake”, “hmmph”, “thankyou”, “that’s fucking gross”, “hello my puppies”.
Last night I heard my chicken talk…..
“Omg, kill me now.”
“Ew, no.”
“Hard pass.”
“Gag me with a spoon.”
“It’s never too early to die.”
“Meet me outside.”
“Hello. How’s it going?” “Good Morning Glory” “What’s up Buttercup?”
“you peaked at 24.*
“I need a short rope and a wobbly stool”
“I need a beer”
“FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!”
*in a low voice: ” god fucking damn it”
“go away, I’m doing sketchy shit”
“if I die, I don’t have to work tomorrow”
“my fucking knees and back hurt”
“don’t threaten me with a good time”
“promises, promises”
“FUCKING WHORE”
“I don’t fucking care”
“Mmmm, tastes like Cancer!”
These are the most common phrases I say at work. You could also insert several lines of incoherent Arnold Schwarzenegger impressions of laughing.
Yes please.
“Fucks Sake.”
“I don’t get paid enough for this shit. “
What the hell
You’re killing me Smalls
Who tf invited you back there??
“I love you”
“Do you want a snack?”
“Do the right thing!”
“Cunt”
“Dormammu, I’ve come to bargain.”
Meow meow
Are you fucking kidding me?
God dammit.
OOOOH WEE!!! (Just like Mr. Poopybutthole says)
Get it fucking up ye
“I’m tired.”
fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck……
“That’s not the point…”
“It’s a well-known fact…”
“Just use your common sense!”
“Oh Son of a bitch!”
“Ow my toe!”
I basically have no feeling in my pinky toes anymore from how many times I’ve smashed them full force into random things around my house.
As per my last email
“that’s fair”
“Ya mama”, “Okay and?”, “You GREEDYYYYY”, “Riiiight…”, “Sorry I’m slow, literally”
The first pulse you check is your own!
Right on!
For fuck’s sake….
“I’m traumatized, yaaaaaaay!”
Long story short
“Um, achshually…”
“Fuck, I didn’t hit my protein.”
“DUDE HAHA”
yea, probably just these three 😭
“Jesus fuck” “WHY?” “Oopsie poopsie” “My period is coming”
(Pull) Why is this cupboard open? (Pull) Please put empty containers in the recycling! (Pull) The toilet has a lever on the side to flush it. Try it sometime! (Pull) Did anyone feed the dogs?
Give me a hug, so you’re not lonely anymore
“Oh word?”, “Ohhh nahhhh”, “shiiiiii”, “imma fool, hahaha”, “Bueno”, “Buenisimo”
What the fuck?
God damnit Donut!
Bite my shiny metal ass!
Oi cunt
“Wanna get high?”
“Hell yeah”
“I gotta pee”
“No no, don’t touch me there. That’s my no no square.”
“Outstanding” in a sarcastic voice.
“Get out of my kitchen.”
“It isn’t lying, it is story telling for entertainment purposes only.”
“My entertainment”
“Dogs. in in in”
I’m a goddamn delight
Go fuck a tree princess.
“I need a shot” and “what the fuck”
Hi, how are you?
Good, thank you. Yourself?
FUCK!
Lots of varied nonsensical and common curse words and phrases.
“That was my spine!”
Quite commonly when I rage at games I’ll try to say “Fuck you” and “Fucking hell” to insult the game at the same time, which comes out as “fUCKing YOU”. So probably that
Shit, that didn’t work
Jesus christ. Doing the lords work. Oh boy. Fuck you. That makes too much sense. Leave me alone.
Yoink!
God fucking dammit dad’s talking about how his chocolate chip cookies aren’t as good as Katie’s
I already told you that, either you’re going deaf or you ignored me. I don’t know which is worse.
Fuck I’m an idiot.
Yo.
“Son of a bitch,” or else, “Jesus Christ.”
“What da fuck!?”
“I don’t know how imma do it, but imma do it!” & “I ALWAYS FIND A WAY!😄”
It wouldn’t say anything, it would just let out a deep sigh.
420 blaze it
“Holy Macarena” , “You lucky squirrel” or “Bitch, be so for real with me right now…”
“I’m your friend til the end”
“Somebody’s poisoned the water hole”
“Cowboy Butters here, boy howdy”
“Ow, my body.”
“The fuck is this?”
“God fucking-“
“SHIT I FORGOT”
[pain sounds]
God fuckin dammit!!
I am introverted and have social anxiety so it would not say anything. It would just get up and walk away.
Leave me alone
For fuck’s sake
I went outside once, the graphics were great but the story was terrible.
“goddamit!”
“Thanks. I hate it here.”
Oh, sweet baby Jesus!
Shitballs, motherfucker, tea?
My back!
F*ck!
What the hell?
I’ll do it tomorrow.
The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.
Fuck it
Being poor sucks ass
I think it’s time to eat my gun
“ugh” “sure” “whatever”
Suck me off
Some variation of Sideshow Bob’s rake to the face grumble
Perfusion is everything
Look me in the eyes and do it right, this time.
“I was talking to the dog”
“My head hurts”
“Did i ask your opinion” (said to minecraft villagers)
“60% of the time, it works 100% of the time”
“My head really hurts”
“OK I’ll start on that when I get home”
Sweet baby Jesus
For fuck sake
Get bent
Motherfucker
“They r*ped me!”
“Rancid donkey scrotum!”
Mommy needs quiet time.
“Where’s my phone?”
“Where’s my glasses?”
“Where’s my purse?”
“What the fuck.”
A strained “Wonderful” with emphasis on each syllable. Useful for good and bad times.
“Where’s my KITTY???” – said every time I come home
And then just a bunch of random lines from operatic tenor arias.
For Fuck Sake, Yeah nah wouldnt have thought, Idiot, fuck all the way off.
I’m exhausted 😩
Fuck, fuck off, fuck this, fuck that, fuck you, fuck EVERYTHING, I fucking hate you, FUCK everyone/everywhere
HELP I’M TRAPPED
“Ffffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuucccccck!”
Try it
Don’t Die.
“Motherfucker”, “2 Beers please”, “Where is the bathroom”, and “Are you fucking kidding me?”
It wouldn’t say anything, but its eyes would light up and its head would spin.
“for lack of better phrasing”
“i want to honor the nuance”
“hold on, my nose is running and i need to adjust my pants”
“i love volatile women”
“i forget what i was talking about”
Ope!
Shit ass yeah!
Welllll fuck.
Do you want a grilled cheese?
What the fridge?!
“Nice turn signal, dude” [this is what I say EVERY time someone turns w/o signaling. It’s a compulsion]
“I love you.”
“I’ll be back.”
“It takes crazy to deal with crazy.”
“Don’t make the same mistakes I did, Do better.”
“Accepting Jesus is the only way into heaven, but God doesn’t want robots or not he would have never created free will.”
” You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink.”
” I have to go to work because you can’t live on love”
So I was drinking and then ….
“I’m going to do that again using a method I like to call ‘the right way’”.
“Absolutely my dawg”
It would need to have ADSB-in, if there’s an airplane within 2 miles it would say “airplane” in a happy childish voice. Otherwise it just asks for “Hugs?”
My daughter favorite quote from me is “if it’s illegal, don’t do it”.
Lotta f bombs, that’s for sure.
Penis
“What a load of bollocks”
“Oh gods please no.”
“Fuck”
“I need a hug”
“I’m too sober to deal with this.”
“-insert my cats attention call-“
What the fuck?
Which fucknut did this?
Son of a fucknut
Not my circus, not my monkeys
“That’s so cunt”
“You want that? Take it !!!”
“Take it easy. It could be worse”
“Keep going “
i’m sorry
I just work here
Bacon baguette, brown sauce please.
“Mother Fucker!” “Sure!” “Well, YOU’RE one that said yes”
“That’s wild”
“No worries”
“It’s worse than I thought”
“I’m tired” “can I have some coffee?” “I wanna snuggle” “I love you!”
Well that didn’t work.
“We’ve been trying to reach you about your car’s extended waranty”
“Ouch, my eyes!!!”
“Yolo”
“After all why not… Why shouldn’t I masturbate again?”
“Add that to the list of dumb ways I’ve hurt myself in the kitchen”
Owsheeeee
“I made all the wrong choices. “
It’d probably just groan
“Well, you know what they say.”
I say this every now and then when I’m mentally exhausted a conversation. There’s no follow-up. I don’t know what “they say.” But people almost never notice, or they just nod and shrug in agreement. This started accidentally, and now I just say it pretty often.
No good deed goes unpunished
“How much?”
Fuck
Or fuck fuck
Leave me alone.
You live and you learn or you die stupid
Pulls string: “fuck”
Pulls string again: “fuck”
Pulls string again: “fuck”
Nothing. It would just sigh.
“Poopies”
GOD DAMN IT!!!
CHEETO!!!
Can I watch The Walking Dead now?
“what the fuck”