Okay, so this might seem like a small thing, but it’s been really bugging me for a while. My husband and I have been married for almost a year, and things have been pretty great overall. But there’s one thing that’s slowly driving me crazy—his idea of cleanliness.
Now, we both work full-time, and I do most of the cleaning. It wasn’t a problem at first because I like things a certain way, but it’s the little things that are starting to add up. For example, the kitchen. He thinks wiping down the counter with a towel and moving crumbs around is “cleaning.” I can’t even… I just can’t. Like, how is that even possible?!
He also does this thing where he’ll leave dirty socks in random places, like in the bathroom, or on the couch, and then when I ask about it, he’ll act all confused like, “Oh, I thought you’d get them.” And I swear, I never signed up for that level of confusion.
We had a little argument over it the other day when I found a pile of dishes in the sink, and he told me, “They’re soaking. I’m about to clean them.” I just stared at him and said, “The dishes have been soaking for two days now.”
I don’t know if it’s that I’ve been raised differently, but I like things a certain way. And after a year of this, I’m starting to feel like I’m the only one putting in any effort to keep our home running smoothly.
I love him, I do, but I’m getting to a point where I feel like I’m also running a cleaning service on the side of being his wife. The worst part is, when I bring it up, he gets all defensive like I’m being unreasonable. But when I try to explain it, I feel like I’m asking for basic respect in our shared space.
I’m starting to wonder if I’m being too picky. Maybe it’s not about the cleaning, but about not feeling like we’re in this together. Does anyone else feel like they’re stuck in this weird “I’m cleaning everything” loop, but their partner is just oblivious?