She wanted me to cut her with a box cutter during the first time we smashed. I’m kinky, but that is insane for the first time, and I’m terrified of what she’d want if we finally got comfortable with each other.
When I realized he was a mommas boy. She’s fr the reason why we broke up. He would justify every single rude comment she would make towards me with saying “oh she doesn’t mean it”. Blah blah blah idk maybe it’s not as significant but yeah couldn’t take it with her disrespecting me every single time there was a family dinner. Never again
He smoke too much weed. He reeked off weed and it turned me off multiple times. Then he complained I shouldn’t have my one nightly cigarette, and i just lost interest
Bro was way too freaky. I know we were kids but he’d talk about the deed (and sweet hometown Alabama stuff💀) and how he wasn’t a virgin. Which I guess was fine at first till I realized that yeah he probably only wanted to smash. (Especially since I had and still have zero experience😀) So, yeah definitely not what I thought “real love” was😰
He admitted he hurt me because I’d hurt him and he wanted me to feel what it was like. It was all fairly small stuff- he was upset that I got weird and jealous once (I think? Honestly and this point it was hard to tell what he was upset about) and he’d gone all quiet and weird. We’d broken up but were still talking and had a huge fight on the phone where he said this. Realized he was not the person I thought he was.
He went on to yell at me for breaking his heart- he broke up with me and I never even got an answer for what I did so wrong. Honestly baffling but good luck to him I guess.
I was dating this guy me a vegetarian him not even a little….after dinner he tried to kiss me for the first time
..I liked him but instead of kissing me he literally licked my entire face he juzt ate ribs….this was long ago I never BEEPED or PAGED him again
Addictions. Emotionally immature and unavailable. Basically, wasn’t going to add anything valuable, but was guaranteed to take away and/or cause chaos from my currently peaceful and good life. When I say valuable, it’s not a reflection of their worth as a person, but they were certainly not in a place to be a healthy candidate for a relationship.
It took me wayy too long to realise this.. but recently I ended things because he kept saying when I move back in with him he won’t do xyz anymore, xyz will change etc. Not after 10 years nothing changed. He is an alcoholic and bought alcohol again despite being broke and owing me and others money and i finally said nope. He ain’t never gonna change. Any hope I had left is gone
The guy I was seeing was super sweet and had a ton of fun in our first month of dating. We went out drinking with my sister and her bf. My sister conveniently got wasted an hour into the night and had to go back home. I told her I would meet her there. Ended up getting locked out for the night without a phone charger, wallet, or car keys. No worries, the guy I was with said I could just stay with him. Shouldn’t be a big deal, right? He immediately tried to get me to give him a blow job, and then pushed my hand down to reveal he didn’t have pants on when we settled in for the night!! It didn’t click for him that me saying no multiple times, it being 3:30 a.m, and that I was in an unfamiliar city at his mercy would cause me to freak TF out on him!! Which is absolutely insanity. We clicked so incredibly well and I wanted to get intimate with him, just not like that! At least he showed me it was just a facade early on I guess.
I had taken care of my ex wife for almost a decade because they were virtually disabled from depression and anxiety. When the worst possible family tragedy happened to me, not only did they not support me, they told me I wasn’t getting better quickly enough. My mother had jumped off a high rise, and this person told me I had to get better soon so that I can go back to being their caregiver. They were the most selfish narcissist I’ve ever known.
When we went to couples counseling to try to work things out. Again, the entire session was my ex crying and having a mental breakdown over their anxiety. They didn’t even give me a chance to talk about what I was going through. The counselor said we shouldn’t continue until my ex could resolve their own issues. And we never went to counseling again.
People talk about weaponized incompetence. This felt like weaponized mental illness. My ex wife took no accountability for any of their actions. Everything could be explained away by their mental illness, for which they didn’t go to a doctor and did not take medication.
While I worked at a meat grinder of a tech job, my ex would brag about how they did so much hard work in therapy. When I tried to get a divorce, again, they had a mental breakdown and asked me to stay until they were better. This lasted 18 years until I was dead inside and suicidal. I had my own mental breakdown and we got a divorce. I had to pay over a million to this person for this experience because of California law. I have to financially support them for the rest of their life. (GET A PRENUP!)
My first wife. I don’t remember what exactly happened, but there was a moment when I looked at her and thought, “There is no way I’m having kids with this person.” Granted, she was an emotional mess, and she’d been getting worse over time. Things had piled up, and it was like a switch had flipped. Just one day, I said “NOPE.”
A few months ago I got to live a childhood dream of finishing off a song with the singer of Alien Ant Farm (AAF being my very first CD, very sentimental) so this was literally a dream come true. When I got home,First thing I told her was thank you for watching the kids in all seriousness so I can enjoy a night out. (Her idea). Her response was WTF are you drunk??? For context she has been sober for 8 years and I was sober for the entire 3 years we have been together. So I kinda played it off, then I begin to tell her about the rest of the night and I was still glowing from living my dream, and she had negative things to say about each and everything I was talking about. Not sure if she was jealous that I for once enjoyed myself fully or something else. But that single night turned me off from the entire 3 year relationship. If you can’t be excited that your partner experienced something wonderful, then there is no love.
I had been very clearly suffering for a long time in my long time marriage, while the good times were fine, I kept them fine because I didn’t have the desire to fight with a sometimes very abrasive woman, and she claims that she never knew how bad it was. I finally realized that it would never really ever get better, and I would spend the rest of my life walking on eggshells, and while that was tolerable, it just wasn’t what I really wanted out of life.
My feelings turned off like a light switch when he rejected my hug because it was at his place of work and his “work crush” was there.. I broke up with him there. I didn’t have no qualms. Just done. Over. Not a chance at fixing anything.
She turned into a different person when she drank and at first it was kinda fun; she was feistier and honestly more fun but it started getting worse. She would share intimate details of our sex life, make fun of me in cruel ways, and the final straw was when she threw a dart at me. It wasn’t an accident, she saw me standing between her and the dartboard and I watched in slow motion as it flew at my face. Thankfully I squinted hard enough that it just bounced off my eyelid but that was it for me. When I got upset about it she threw a drink in my face in front of everyone at the party. She moved out a few weeks later and took the dog. I miss that freaking dog…
She licked kitchen knives seductively. I was like okay. Weird but maybe not a huge red flag since everything else was going well.
Boy was I wrong. A few weeks later she sent me se y pictures with handguns. For a week and a half I was struggling to figure out how to break up without getting hurt.
She broke up with me that week because she felt I wasn’t responding to her intimacy the way she needed, I was very saddened and distraught but assured her that she deserved better than me, someone who could definitely relate to her.
Changed phone numbers that week and never looked back.
Maybe this is petty, but she thought the old lady from The Titanic movie and Joan of Arc were the same person. After just a couple weeks of dating, I found out she was filled with too much misinformation for me to work with.
When he screamed at me for hours because we left a dinner with his friends 10 minutes early due to me not feeling well. He was very easily angered/irritated and I noticed it as soon as the fourth date. Beware of men with anger issues!
He showed up to pick me up in a motorcycle. He had a helmet for himself but not for me. He at no point mentioned he owned a motorcycle before the date.
When he stuck his nose into familial business a little too far… Was venting after a minor accident between my dad’s Jeep and my Nissan. Just a scratch. I was upset my dad went as far as to suggest I should take Uber, which is $60 a ride. Later that night, he asked for details as we were playing Power Wash Sim. He reminded me of the tags, which I didn’t know about. Turns out they were due for a change, so I let my dad know. While we were at it, he thought to move the car title from my late mother’s name to me and my sister’s. Just as it says under my mom’s will. My dad quickly printed something for us to sign. Upon telling my boyfriend what just happened, he piped up like “HOW DARE YOU SIGN ANYTHING WITHOUT MY PERMISSION!!” He made me second guess what I signed, so I immediately went back to my dad’s room to check, which my family knows I just don’t do. My dad asked the what and why. Told him I was asked to check. My dad then demanded I text him I will never talk to him again, to hang up, and to hand him my phone. Did just that. Over the next day, I felt stupid to realize the number of red flags that went over my head. They did because I was young, dumb, and it was my first physical relationship as a 20+ year old. Now I have found someone who actually cares about me as a person and my hobbies.
TW: I don’t know why I am sharing but I’m I guess I am just feeling talkative. This is about some heavy topics so read with caution.
>!I had very low self esteem and didn’t know what a healthy relationship looked like after being groomed by an older man in my teens. So I thought this new guy was the best thing that could ever happen to me. On the outside he was really put together, age appropriate, dressed nice, promising job, cultured, and spoke several languages. We would fight a lot however, and it would always be able how horrible I was for not texting him or seeing my friends without letting him know first or having a drink. So I would beg and beg for him to forgive me on things I would pretty much be on my knees. He got some kind of sadistic joy out of this, and would leave me triggered and upset and feeling worthless. He would say the only way I could forgive him is if I sent him nudes or fucked him or something- even when I told him I was not in the mood. He would ask me to do things in ways that were specifically degrading. And during that time, he would talk “dirty” to me while also bringing up how I have wronged him and I deserved everything I get.!<
>!This wasn’t all the time, he was nice just enough for me to think this wasn’t who he was. And that it was me who was wrong. I would try to balance this by keeping him happy, giving up sex, and even paying his rent for his second apartment in a metropolitan city for several months because he “didn’t like it and couldn’t afford to rent another place”.!<
>!Bro I was totally blind and in it deep. My brain was essentially mush. I drank the cool aid. !<
>!He had broken up with me before only to come back a few days later for me to gravel – so one night!< he came home >!drunk and high and started!< telling me I was a loser with no drive and there was no way he could stand to be with me anymore. And I don’t know what happened- >!a flicker of the light on his face, the smell of liquor, the way he slurred his words ever so slightly… !< something just clicked and I snapped out of this three year hypnotic state. I remember feeling really sick. And still very upset, but then I felt angry, and tired, and I realized I could just… leave. And so I did. !<
>!He did his regular song and dance, trying to coerce me into sex again, and I just told him he spent so much time ruining who I was that neither of us truly knew me as a person. My only interaction with him after that was trying to get him to send my stuff from his second apartment to me, he ended up throwing it in the trash- telling me I am poor and my belongings were cheap anyway. I told him that I would only speak to him if he gave me those things back- and I stuck with that promise.!<
>!He ended up sending me an apology years later, about two sentences. And then some paragraph about how to better my career. What a fucking loser. !<
If you ever have that moment of clarity like I had, please do not ignore it. Listen to that voice. Run. Please.
We were in a long distance relationship, and began have discussions about polyamory. Resulted in a lot of tangentially related conversations about how we viewed our relationship. Realized she was going to treat our relationship like a safety net in case things didn’t work out instead of a foundation to build on. Nope, that’s not going to work for me. Bye Felicia.
At least I can say I did the work and know for certain polyamory is not for me.
I’m torn between the crazy amount of impulsive behavior with sero attempt to reign it in, the selfishness that is not being worked on, the constant yelling at my dogs, the sudden lack of any type of intimacy physical or emotional, or the shallowness as a person. None of these things showed up before they moved in, and I gotta say, not a fan of any of it.
I was going to a my friends’ punk show at the local record store/book store. He was driving and complained the whole way about how he didn’t understand why I was “wasting money on a temporary experience,” because it cost $8 to get in. Mind you, he wasn’t even going, just dropping me off, so it wasn’t like he was paying $8.
I tried to explain to him that it was just $8 and I was happy to support my friends plus I’d get a night of fun doing something I’d never done before since I never go anywhere or do anything because he didn’t want to. He just went on and on about how he didn’t get why I’d want to do something like that when it’d just be over in a few hours. He just kept repeating that it was “temporary”.
I finally turned to him and said “life is a temporary experience so I’m going to enjoy mine while I have it.” When he told me that was stupid, I told him “We have very different views on life. I think we’re just fundamentally incompatible people.“ That was the moment it all clicked in my head.
He didn’t really enjoy anything. He hated going places because it was a waste of time and money. He hated staying home because it was unproductive. He hated pursuing his hobbies if he couldn’t monetize them. He hated socializing because he felt like it was a game where he had to “chose the right response to level up the friendship meter”. He didn’t like food because he always chose food he actively hated because he only ate to maximize his protein and calorie intake.
I didn’t want to be with someone who made life itself seem so miserable. I used to be severely depressed and I could feel myself being dragged back into that by his constant negativity. I know I couldn’t spend the rest of my life like that.
We was in the same class in my freshman year of college, (lot more juicy details i won’t go into) got her social off my best friend at the time, asked her a simple question about the homework we was all doin, and just got ignored 🫡
He got mad at me for saying I want face piercings because he “wanted to live in a rich neighbourhood and that wouldnt look good.” (He was 16 then.) Hes now 19 w no job, no car, lives w his parents, doesnt even attend Uni properly and gets high most days. Idk what rich neighbourhood he was dreaming of.
He refused to get a job and stayed at home pissing into coke bottles for some reason. His mother also called me a gold digger. Mind you I was the only one working and paying for his car note, his insurance, the rent, the food, the utilities but sure… I am a gold digger.
“Just this guy I used to talk to. We got along for about a year, but then he annoyed me and I haven’t talked to him in 3 months”
abandonment issue fueled panic attack
Then, big surprise, she spent 4 months pushing her way into every aspect of my daily life while telling me that I shouldn’t let my social traumas stop me from trusting people and making friends, only for her to stop talking to me because apparently the stress of my sister disappearing from rehab wasn’t a good reason to be upset. And even that explanation had to be forced out of her because she had largely just started ignoring me out of nowhere.
She cry-screamed and threw a tantrum because I didn’t want to buy her a 2$ wallmounted candleholder made out of wire and tinfoil, basically a creation from a 4 year old or crackhead sold at yard sale. People were staring and started filming. Bitch I’m not gonna burn the house down for you, or become a part of a viral video. I just walked to the car and drove home started packing boxes while she still stood there bawling. Best head I’ve ever had tho
We went on a trip together and I learned how different we are. Random Grindr hookups, not for me. Alcohol, not for him. He liked every detail to be carefully planned and he liked to be in control. It was not a good fit.
It was prom night and I had some friends over and my bf at the time. My parents bought us drinks (a 12 pack of reds apple ale) and when we got back I decided to have one. A few sips later I hear the door slam and my bf is pacing angrily on the driveway saying I’m an alcoholic and I need to choose him or the alcohol. I walked back inside and handed him his tuxedo and said “the alcohol” and went back in to hang out with my friends. Mind you this alcohol was a special occasion I rarely ever drank and if I did I was not mean and would never pressure him to partake. A few days later he called begging for me back telling me he had never shared his dad who I’d never met bc his parents were divorced was a physically abusive alcoholic. I felt horrible and we talked it out. Fast forward a month after that and I’m talking to his mother and she brings up his dad and I say something along the lines of “that must be really tough him struggling with alcoholism” and I swear she nearly slammed on the breaks with her look of utter shock. I explained what he had told me and his mom said “I left him when my son was 2 and he has never been alone with him since. Also he is a traveling priest who was never home that’s why we got divorced that man never laid a hand on any of us and in our 10 years of marriage I never saw him drink alcohol” so safe to say we broke up after that and I never really found out what the issue was with that drink in the first place. Side note I chain smoked cigarettes at the time so if there was a hill to die on you’d think it would have been that
TLDR; ex bf left me on prom night because one reds apple ale made me an alcoholic and gave him a reason to lie about having an abusive and alcoholic father
When a ex explained that our son could be ” whatever he wanted to be” including a girl. I explained whatever decision in life he makes; im there for him.
But i intend on raising him as a traditional male and steer him towards such interests. And, i also intend on emphasizing hard science, math, music, and sports….
She took grave offense to this and i realized i had a child with the wrong woman. Based on the way she used the court system against me to steal him…. lied about various forms of abuse to gain leverage….. yep…. i screwed up and years later havent seen him or her
middle school relationship so didn’t expect much. but on our first sleepover she didn’t clean up after herself. she spilt ice cream over my furniture and was just overall messy. it drove me nuts as someone who likes my space clean and not like a pig pen. broke up with her about a week later and found someone else.
When we were spending 1 day a month together when we lived within walking distance. She just always had raves, parties, shows etc to go to and didn’t want to “waste” her days off work. I was only invited if I coerced her to invite me, and sometimes not even then.
When i had to argue with her to convince her to come to my birthday instead of her friends.
When i realized all of the excuses were excuses and she just didnt prioritize me or love me like I did her.
I hate that she stayed with me, and that I had to breakup with her when im the one who cared about the relationship. Shits hard
A gorgeous woman, around 3 years older than me, from my city messaged me on Instagram and invited me for drinks. The “gorgeous woman” that appeared to the date was a 45 year old obese, sweaty man who thought he could turn lesbians straight.
When she told me I could “fuck all the way off” after my mom died in her sleep. Was already on the fence with this chick because her K addiction and fascination with telling me everything my ex wife had been up to around town.
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She wanted me to cut her with a box cutter during the first time we smashed. I’m kinky, but that is insane for the first time, and I’m terrified of what she’d want if we finally got comfortable with each other.
When I realized he was a mommas boy. She’s fr the reason why we broke up. He would justify every single rude comment she would make towards me with saying “oh she doesn’t mean it”. Blah blah blah idk maybe it’s not as significant but yeah couldn’t take it with her disrespecting me every single time there was a family dinner. Never again
Wouldn’t work really anything but a dead end job
when he yelled at my dog, like bro get farkkkeeed
He smoke too much weed. He reeked off weed and it turned me off multiple times. Then he complained I shouldn’t have my one nightly cigarette, and i just lost interest
She didn’t wear deodorant.
Bro was way too freaky. I know we were kids but he’d talk about the deed (and sweet hometown Alabama stuff💀) and how he wasn’t a virgin. Which I guess was fine at first till I realized that yeah he probably only wanted to smash. (Especially since I had and still have zero experience😀) So, yeah definitely not what I thought “real love” was😰
Terrible hygiene/smell down there. 🤮🤮🤮
We were engaged and I got introduced at a party of work people as ‘her friend’
She started fucking the bros.
When he kept getting mad about stupid things. I didn’t want to be with someone who got angry so easily.
that time that she punched me in the face.
When he hit his head against a brick wall because he was angry at me.
He admitted he hurt me because I’d hurt him and he wanted me to feel what it was like. It was all fairly small stuff- he was upset that I got weird and jealous once (I think? Honestly and this point it was hard to tell what he was upset about) and he’d gone all quiet and weird. We’d broken up but were still talking and had a huge fight on the phone where he said this. Realized he was not the person I thought he was.
He went on to yell at me for breaking his heart- he broke up with me and I never even got an answer for what I did so wrong. Honestly baffling but good luck to him I guess.
Lying
In b4 ‘The restraining order’
I was dating this guy me a vegetarian him not even a little….after dinner he tried to kiss me for the first time
..I liked him but instead of kissing me he literally licked my entire face he juzt ate ribs….this was long ago I never BEEPED or PAGED him again
When I had to always either be with her or on a phone call with her just about every minute of my day.
He wanted me to spoon feed him with airplane noises and pouted if I didn’t. He’s 25.
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when she went crazy and burned me with a blow torch
Addictions. Emotionally immature and unavailable. Basically, wasn’t going to add anything valuable, but was guaranteed to take away and/or cause chaos from my currently peaceful and good life. When I say valuable, it’s not a reflection of their worth as a person, but they were certainly not in a place to be a healthy candidate for a relationship.
It took me wayy too long to realise this.. but recently I ended things because he kept saying when I move back in with him he won’t do xyz anymore, xyz will change etc. Not after 10 years nothing changed. He is an alcoholic and bought alcohol again despite being broke and owing me and others money and i finally said nope. He ain’t never gonna change. Any hope I had left is gone
The guy I was seeing was super sweet and had a ton of fun in our first month of dating. We went out drinking with my sister and her bf. My sister conveniently got wasted an hour into the night and had to go back home. I told her I would meet her there. Ended up getting locked out for the night without a phone charger, wallet, or car keys. No worries, the guy I was with said I could just stay with him. Shouldn’t be a big deal, right? He immediately tried to get me to give him a blow job, and then pushed my hand down to reveal he didn’t have pants on when we settled in for the night!! It didn’t click for him that me saying no multiple times, it being 3:30 a.m, and that I was in an unfamiliar city at his mercy would cause me to freak TF out on him!! Which is absolutely insanity. We clicked so incredibly well and I wanted to get intimate with him, just not like that! At least he showed me it was just a facade early on I guess.
Breath smelled like milk all the time. Would always text me about his poops.
I had taken care of my ex wife for almost a decade because they were virtually disabled from depression and anxiety. When the worst possible family tragedy happened to me, not only did they not support me, they told me I wasn’t getting better quickly enough. My mother had jumped off a high rise, and this person told me I had to get better soon so that I can go back to being their caregiver. They were the most selfish narcissist I’ve ever known.
When we went to couples counseling to try to work things out. Again, the entire session was my ex crying and having a mental breakdown over their anxiety. They didn’t even give me a chance to talk about what I was going through. The counselor said we shouldn’t continue until my ex could resolve their own issues. And we never went to counseling again.
People talk about weaponized incompetence. This felt like weaponized mental illness. My ex wife took no accountability for any of their actions. Everything could be explained away by their mental illness, for which they didn’t go to a doctor and did not take medication.
While I worked at a meat grinder of a tech job, my ex would brag about how they did so much hard work in therapy. When I tried to get a divorce, again, they had a mental breakdown and asked me to stay until they were better. This lasted 18 years until I was dead inside and suicidal. I had my own mental breakdown and we got a divorce. I had to pay over a million to this person for this experience because of California law. I have to financially support them for the rest of their life. (GET A PRENUP!)
When I saw him take a shot before going to work. To teach kids.
My first wife. I don’t remember what exactly happened, but there was a moment when I looked at her and thought, “There is no way I’m having kids with this person.” Granted, she was an emotional mess, and she’d been getting worse over time. Things had piled up, and it was like a switch had flipped. Just one day, I said “NOPE.”
When she served me papers and made me pay 40k USD in lawyer fees to give her half (which is what I offered at the start).
In retrospect there were probably warning signs…
A few months ago I got to live a childhood dream of finishing off a song with the singer of Alien Ant Farm (AAF being my very first CD, very sentimental) so this was literally a dream come true. When I got home,First thing I told her was thank you for watching the kids in all seriousness so I can enjoy a night out. (Her idea). Her response was WTF are you drunk??? For context she has been sober for 8 years and I was sober for the entire 3 years we have been together. So I kinda played it off, then I begin to tell her about the rest of the night and I was still glowing from living my dream, and she had negative things to say about each and everything I was talking about. Not sure if she was jealous that I for once enjoyed myself fully or something else. But that single night turned me off from the entire 3 year relationship. If you can’t be excited that your partner experienced something wonderful, then there is no love.
He slept with my sister.
I had been very clearly suffering for a long time in my long time marriage, while the good times were fine, I kept them fine because I didn’t have the desire to fight with a sometimes very abrasive woman, and she claims that she never knew how bad it was. I finally realized that it would never really ever get better, and I would spend the rest of my life walking on eggshells, and while that was tolerable, it just wasn’t what I really wanted out of life.
My feelings turned off like a light switch when he rejected my hug because it was at his place of work and his “work crush” was there.. I broke up with him there. I didn’t have no qualms. Just done. Over. Not a chance at fixing anything.
I treated her as my bestfriend.
She didn’t.
She turned into a different person when she drank and at first it was kinda fun; she was feistier and honestly more fun but it started getting worse. She would share intimate details of our sex life, make fun of me in cruel ways, and the final straw was when she threw a dart at me. It wasn’t an accident, she saw me standing between her and the dartboard and I watched in slow motion as it flew at my face. Thankfully I squinted hard enough that it just bounced off my eyelid but that was it for me. When I got upset about it she threw a drink in my face in front of everyone at the party. She moved out a few weeks later and took the dog. I miss that freaking dog…
When I realized I was the strong one in the relationship. And that I’d spend forever just trying to keep them together.
She licked kitchen knives seductively. I was like okay. Weird but maybe not a huge red flag since everything else was going well.
Boy was I wrong. A few weeks later she sent me se y pictures with handguns. For a week and a half I was struggling to figure out how to break up without getting hurt.
She broke up with me that week because she felt I wasn’t responding to her intimacy the way she needed, I was very saddened and distraught but assured her that she deserved better than me, someone who could definitely relate to her.
Changed phone numbers that week and never looked back.
The way he kissed. I’ve never had someone stick their tongue so far back in my mouth. It was a BIG turnoff.
Maybe this is petty, but she thought the old lady from The Titanic movie and Joan of Arc were the same person. After just a couple weeks of dating, I found out she was filled with too much misinformation for me to work with.
When he screamed at me for hours because we left a dinner with his friends 10 minutes early due to me not feeling well. He was very easily angered/irritated and I noticed it as soon as the fourth date. Beware of men with anger issues!
He showed up to pick me up in a motorcycle. He had a helmet for himself but not for me. He at no point mentioned he owned a motorcycle before the date.
The cheating.
When he stuck his nose into familial business a little too far… Was venting after a minor accident between my dad’s Jeep and my Nissan. Just a scratch. I was upset my dad went as far as to suggest I should take Uber, which is $60 a ride. Later that night, he asked for details as we were playing Power Wash Sim. He reminded me of the tags, which I didn’t know about. Turns out they were due for a change, so I let my dad know. While we were at it, he thought to move the car title from my late mother’s name to me and my sister’s. Just as it says under my mom’s will. My dad quickly printed something for us to sign. Upon telling my boyfriend what just happened, he piped up like “HOW DARE YOU SIGN ANYTHING WITHOUT MY PERMISSION!!” He made me second guess what I signed, so I immediately went back to my dad’s room to check, which my family knows I just don’t do. My dad asked the what and why. Told him I was asked to check. My dad then demanded I text him I will never talk to him again, to hang up, and to hand him my phone. Did just that. Over the next day, I felt stupid to realize the number of red flags that went over my head. They did because I was young, dumb, and it was my first physical relationship as a 20+ year old. Now I have found someone who actually cares about me as a person and my hobbies.
When I found out that even though she had a good job and was in her late twenties, her parents still paid the majority of her bills.
TW: I don’t know why I am sharing but I’m I guess I am just feeling talkative. This is about some heavy topics so read with caution.
>!I had very low self esteem and didn’t know what a healthy relationship looked like after being groomed by an older man in my teens. So I thought this new guy was the best thing that could ever happen to me. On the outside he was really put together, age appropriate, dressed nice, promising job, cultured, and spoke several languages. We would fight a lot however, and it would always be able how horrible I was for not texting him or seeing my friends without letting him know first or having a drink. So I would beg and beg for him to forgive me on things I would pretty much be on my knees. He got some kind of sadistic joy out of this, and would leave me triggered and upset and feeling worthless. He would say the only way I could forgive him is if I sent him nudes or fucked him or something- even when I told him I was not in the mood. He would ask me to do things in ways that were specifically degrading. And during that time, he would talk “dirty” to me while also bringing up how I have wronged him and I deserved everything I get.!<
>!This wasn’t all the time, he was nice just enough for me to think this wasn’t who he was. And that it was me who was wrong. I would try to balance this by keeping him happy, giving up sex, and even paying his rent for his second apartment in a metropolitan city for several months because he “didn’t like it and couldn’t afford to rent another place”.!<
>!Bro I was totally blind and in it deep. My brain was essentially mush. I drank the cool aid. !<
>!He had broken up with me before only to come back a few days later for me to gravel – so one night!< he came home >!drunk and high and started!< telling me I was a loser with no drive and there was no way he could stand to be with me anymore. And I don’t know what happened- >!a flicker of the light on his face, the smell of liquor, the way he slurred his words ever so slightly… !< something just clicked and I snapped out of this three year hypnotic state. I remember feeling really sick. And still very upset, but then I felt angry, and tired, and I realized I could just… leave. And so I did. !<
>!He did his regular song and dance, trying to coerce me into sex again, and I just told him he spent so much time ruining who I was that neither of us truly knew me as a person. My only interaction with him after that was trying to get him to send my stuff from his second apartment to me, he ended up throwing it in the trash- telling me I am poor and my belongings were cheap anyway. I told him that I would only speak to him if he gave me those things back- and I stuck with that promise.!<
>!He ended up sending me an apology years later, about two sentences. And then some paragraph about how to better my career. What a fucking loser. !<
If you ever have that moment of clarity like I had, please do not ignore it. Listen to that voice. Run. Please.
We were in a long distance relationship, and began have discussions about polyamory. Resulted in a lot of tangentially related conversations about how we viewed our relationship. Realized she was going to treat our relationship like a safety net in case things didn’t work out instead of a foundation to build on. Nope, that’s not going to work for me. Bye Felicia.
At least I can say I did the work and know for certain polyamory is not for me.
nothing they all could be, I’m just not for anyone
When he liked me. No emotionally healthy man would willingly take up with my 6 foot red flag self.
I’m torn between the crazy amount of impulsive behavior with sero attempt to reign it in, the selfishness that is not being worked on, the constant yelling at my dogs, the sudden lack of any type of intimacy physical or emotional, or the shallowness as a person. None of these things showed up before they moved in, and I gotta say, not a fan of any of it.
Constantly lied, but never felt guilty about it.
I was going to a my friends’ punk show at the local record store/book store. He was driving and complained the whole way about how he didn’t understand why I was “wasting money on a temporary experience,” because it cost $8 to get in. Mind you, he wasn’t even going, just dropping me off, so it wasn’t like he was paying $8.
I tried to explain to him that it was just $8 and I was happy to support my friends plus I’d get a night of fun doing something I’d never done before since I never go anywhere or do anything because he didn’t want to. He just went on and on about how he didn’t get why I’d want to do something like that when it’d just be over in a few hours. He just kept repeating that it was “temporary”.
I finally turned to him and said “life is a temporary experience so I’m going to enjoy mine while I have it.” When he told me that was stupid, I told him “We have very different views on life. I think we’re just fundamentally incompatible people.“ That was the moment it all clicked in my head.
He didn’t really enjoy anything. He hated going places because it was a waste of time and money. He hated staying home because it was unproductive. He hated pursuing his hobbies if he couldn’t monetize them. He hated socializing because he felt like it was a game where he had to “chose the right response to level up the friendship meter”. He didn’t like food because he always chose food he actively hated because he only ate to maximize his protein and calorie intake.
I didn’t want to be with someone who made life itself seem so miserable. I used to be severely depressed and I could feel myself being dragged back into that by his constant negativity. I know I couldn’t spend the rest of my life like that.
He always took the easy way out 🙂 from the beginning. Didn’t want to
Work hard for anything
When partners….
He got upset I had a really bad stomach ache and wanted to work on my 3D modeling projects. This was like our second or third time hanging out.
When he didn’t wash his hands after pooping.
Literally in the middle of arguing with him about if he could please brush his teeth. Y U C K
We was in the same class in my freshman year of college, (lot more juicy details i won’t go into) got her social off my best friend at the time, asked her a simple question about the homework we was all doin, and just got ignored 🫡
He got mad at me for saying I want face piercings because he “wanted to live in a rich neighbourhood and that wouldnt look good.” (He was 16 then.) Hes now 19 w no job, no car, lives w his parents, doesnt even attend Uni properly and gets high most days. Idk what rich neighbourhood he was dreaming of.
when he talked about me to other girl
I asked her a direct question, and she lied.
He was mean to my four-year-old nephew
When I realized how abusive she was to her animals. Poor things. 😢
When I heard her talking to her sisters about something and unwittingly revealing that she’d lied to me.
She admitted she used to talk softly so I couldnt hear her, while she knew I have hearing issues with really bad tinnitus.
He refused to get a job and stayed at home pissing into coke bottles for some reason. His mother also called me a gold digger. Mind you I was the only one working and paying for his car note, his insurance, the rent, the food, the utilities but sure… I am a gold digger.
“What are you laughing at?”
“Just this guy I used to talk to. We got along for about a year, but then he annoyed me and I haven’t talked to him in 3 months”
abandonment issue fueled panic attack
Then, big surprise, she spent 4 months pushing her way into every aspect of my daily life while telling me that I shouldn’t let my social traumas stop me from trusting people and making friends, only for her to stop talking to me because apparently the stress of my sister disappearing from rehab wasn’t a good reason to be upset. And even that explanation had to be forced out of her because she had largely just started ignoring me out of nowhere.
T_T
She cry-screamed and threw a tantrum because I didn’t want to buy her a 2$ wallmounted candleholder made out of wire and tinfoil, basically a creation from a 4 year old or crackhead sold at yard sale. People were staring and started filming. Bitch I’m not gonna burn the house down for you, or become a part of a viral video. I just walked to the car and drove home started packing boxes while she still stood there bawling. Best head I’ve ever had tho
When I realized he would never love me like he loved his ex.
EVERY LITTLE THING had to go on social media.
When I found out that he googled “rape incest porn” by looking at his google history.
Plus the fact that I needed to look at the Google history to begin with.
Plus his obsession with the Flowers in the Attic series.
And his closeness with his sister.
You see where I’m going.
I am a fairly loud person. She was far louder, hurt my ears.
We went on a trip together and I learned how different we are. Random Grindr hookups, not for me. Alcohol, not for him. He liked every detail to be carefully planned and he liked to be in control. It was not a good fit.
It was prom night and I had some friends over and my bf at the time. My parents bought us drinks (a 12 pack of reds apple ale) and when we got back I decided to have one. A few sips later I hear the door slam and my bf is pacing angrily on the driveway saying I’m an alcoholic and I need to choose him or the alcohol. I walked back inside and handed him his tuxedo and said “the alcohol” and went back in to hang out with my friends. Mind you this alcohol was a special occasion I rarely ever drank and if I did I was not mean and would never pressure him to partake. A few days later he called begging for me back telling me he had never shared his dad who I’d never met bc his parents were divorced was a physically abusive alcoholic. I felt horrible and we talked it out. Fast forward a month after that and I’m talking to his mother and she brings up his dad and I say something along the lines of “that must be really tough him struggling with alcoholism” and I swear she nearly slammed on the breaks with her look of utter shock. I explained what he had told me and his mom said “I left him when my son was 2 and he has never been alone with him since. Also he is a traveling priest who was never home that’s why we got divorced that man never laid a hand on any of us and in our 10 years of marriage I never saw him drink alcohol” so safe to say we broke up after that and I never really found out what the issue was with that drink in the first place. Side note I chain smoked cigarettes at the time so if there was a hill to die on you’d think it would have been that
TLDR; ex bf left me on prom night because one reds apple ale made me an alcoholic and gave him a reason to lie about having an abusive and alcoholic father
When I found out she only banged me in order to piss off/get back her long distance ex.
The sex was cray cray thou, so not regretting that part.
When a ex explained that our son could be ” whatever he wanted to be” including a girl. I explained whatever decision in life he makes; im there for him.
But i intend on raising him as a traditional male and steer him towards such interests. And, i also intend on emphasizing hard science, math, music, and sports….
She took grave offense to this and i realized i had a child with the wrong woman. Based on the way she used the court system against me to steal him…. lied about various forms of abuse to gain leverage….. yep…. i screwed up and years later havent seen him or her
middle school relationship so didn’t expect much. but on our first sleepover she didn’t clean up after herself. she spilt ice cream over my furniture and was just overall messy. it drove me nuts as someone who likes my space clean and not like a pig pen. broke up with her about a week later and found someone else.
he would only hold hands when we were alone and drunk. barely kissed. wouldn’t be seen in public with me unless we acted as friends
That time she threatened to kill herself and then tried to stab me seemed like a red flag. Maybe I overreacted.
ETA there were so many red flags that I was too inexperienced and insecure to see or act on. I wish I could grab younger me and shake him.
She got mad at me becauseI spent more time trying to start my business than drinking with her
When we were spending 1 day a month together when we lived within walking distance. She just always had raves, parties, shows etc to go to and didn’t want to “waste” her days off work. I was only invited if I coerced her to invite me, and sometimes not even then.
When i had to argue with her to convince her to come to my birthday instead of her friends.
When i realized all of the excuses were excuses and she just didnt prioritize me or love me like I did her.
I hate that she stayed with me, and that I had to breakup with her when im the one who cared about the relationship. Shits hard
We were in our 20’s.
A gorgeous woman, around 3 years older than me, from my city messaged me on Instagram and invited me for drinks. The “gorgeous woman” that appeared to the date was a 45 year old obese, sweaty man who thought he could turn lesbians straight.
When she told me I could “fuck all the way off” after my mom died in her sleep. Was already on the fence with this chick because her K addiction and fascination with telling me everything my ex wife had been up to around town.
She put the T P on the roll the wrong way
He was a moon landing conspiracy theorist.
When he started drinking again and lied to me about it when he was clearly fucked up.