I don’t feel like I’m human.

Humans don’t make sense to me and I don’t make sense to them.

Communicating with people is like trying to talk to someone who doesn’t speak your language and having to run everything through a bad translator app.

I get called brutally honest or too blunt a lot. People don’t understand why I can’t just follow their social etiquette. It’s because there’s too much to remember and I don’t understand half of it. Like most people don’t understand weird Victorian era social etiquette.

Idk how to really express these thoughts in a way that would make someone else understand just how alien humans feel to me.

I see romance, reproduction, and careers as shackles. Humans seem broken in some fundamental way; too selfish, too aggressive, too dishonest.

I’m in this weird chasm of despising humanity and also being grateful for the genuinely incredible humans. 99% of the people I’ve had in my life have been awful, self obsessed, and aggressive.

If I wasn’t disabled, I probably would sacrifice meeting those 1% for the sake of avoiding the 99%. But you can’t avoid society when you’re reliant on it.

That’s my shackles I guess. Maybe that’s why I see the other shackles of life as too much. Already have enough limits in my life.