Embarrassing

I haven’t been touched romantically in so long, my choice. Well there’s a creepy handsy guy who comes into where I work. He’s always touching and grabbing on me for hugs and it makes me very uncomfortable. There has been a few times where men come in drunk and they grab my hand to try and kiss it. I always try to pull it away cause it creeps me out. Well Mr handsy comes in and grabs my hand. Puts his wet mouth on my hand and kissed it. I pulled it away and wiped my hand off but noticed it gave me chill bumps on my arm. Like. 😳. Now I’m wondering was it from the physical skin on skin contact that did it or was my body trying to signal to me that I liked it. I absolutely did NOT like it but now I feel like this sensitivity to touch is only going to get worse. It made me feel gross. I know sex is healthy and all but I’m waiting for something different this time. It may never come but the fear is that when I do get that chance I will have been so touch deprived that I will not be able to control my emotions or my sexual urges the first chance I get to express them. Anyways. There it is.