I (m29) got my then girlfriend pregnant as a teenager. We didn’t find out until later in the pregnancy. GF didn’t find out the gender because she was convinced she was having a boy. Turns out the baby was a girl and my girlfriend freaked out. No way she could be a mom to a girl, a girl would be way to difficult she was meant to have a boy. She tried co parenting with for the 9 months of my daughter’s life. She clearly wasn’t happy or enjoying time with my daughter. I had endless support from my family. So I decided to give her an out, if she wanted to give up her rights she could and ill raise the baby myself with support from my family. That’s exactly what happened.
It’s been over 11 years since that happened. I have the sweetest, silliest, smart, girly 12 year old daughter. We have made a great life together.
Friday I saw a few friends from my home town. When talking and catching up I got told my ex girlfriend/ daughter bio mom is huge “boy mom” now and makes it her whole personality. I decided to look her up on social media. They weren’t exaggerating at all. All her posts were about her 2 young sons. How she loved having boys and being a boy mama. How her boys have shown her true love. Etc, etc. In that moment of looking through her social media I realize I made the best choice for my little girl.
My daughter is exactly who she is. She loves sparkles, pink, is a competitive dancer, also can kill it on the tennis court with her pink racket, loves getting dressed up, is dramatic in the best way possible, can always make me laugh and put a smile on my face, is the best buddy for a long road trip, is very talkative, etc, etc. I couldn’t imagine my daughter being any different than exactly who she is. She’s my shining star. I think If her birth mother was in her life for top long it would have dimmed my daughter’s amazing personality.
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your daughter sounds great, and your ex sounds like type of mom her kids girlfriends will dread in the future. its also sad that she thinks girls are “too much work” because shes basically saying she’s gonna put no effort into parenting her sons, which has literally led to the current issue of boys/men barely being self sufficient and expecting their wives to do everything. good luck to her kids😭 your daughter is LUCKY!
wow thats a very cool & sweet story, hope u the best
What’s wrong with having a daughter? Your ex is weird
I have a daughter myself, I wouldn’t change it for the world
I’m glad you’re taking care of your daughter and I’m glad you’re proud of her too
So proud of you that at such a young age you put your daughter first. Thank you for letting her shine!
I also have a 12yo daughter, and I’d choose daughter every time. I think that boys would be too much work.
Your daughter is so incredibly fortunate to have you! Props to you, you sound like an incredible parent.
Reading this makes me happy for your daughter so much. because my mom is one of those that never wanted a daughter. She still won’t accept me as non binary either. But hearing the words “I never wanted a daughter. I wanted 6 boys” always hurt growing up. Luckily for her she got 2 sons. My brothers are cool tho 😎
You sir, are a hero. My mom wanted a boy as well, and I could sense her rejection in every action.
From a daughter of a mom who didn’t want a girl and golden childed my brother, thank you so much being an amazing parent and protecting your daughter.
I wish my dad had done the same, but he abandoned me (as her done with his older daughter too) only to be a “proud boy stepdad” and then grandpa. Your daughter is so lucky to be surrounded by love!
You sound like an amazing father and your daughter seems so fun and sweet and adorable. Your relationship with each other is beautiful! ❤️
Mom to 2 girls and a boy, and I can’t imagine not loving them all for who they are.
I was told boys were soooo much easier than girls, my son said, “Hold my beer!”. He is the most dramatic, unhinged, extrovert 11 year old I know. The boy has no chill, he has the most second child, wild child energy.
My daughters are the complete opposite of him. They are both over the top girly and baffle me with how alike and close they are. They are 8 and 20 years old. My girls sound like yours, minus being talkative. Both dance, the more sparkles and glitter the better.
Good job stepping up for your daughter and giving her the best life you can.
you’re a good dad.
She sounds like she’d have made your daughter insecure, she’d be jealous of her own daughter and give her all kinds of issues. You’ve saved her from a lifetime of therapy.
You’re an awesome father. It’s actually nice to hear how you have raised an awesome daughter. Keep up the good work.
Don’t forget social media is a facade of most peoples lives
Thank YOU for saving that little girls life! AND YOU BETTER THANK HER FOR SAVING YOURS!
I’m glad your daughter has the love and support she needs. I hope you’re prepared to support her if she finds out about her birth mom and it has a negative impact on her self esteem.
Good on you Dad! I can sort of relate to this, because I took over a lot of the parenting duties for my baby sister when she was out of her toddler years. I’m glad that you had the opportunity to take over and raise your daughter right.
Your daughter sounds wonderful. You sound like you love her and are genuinely proud of her. Take comfort in knowing that you made the right choice even at such a young age. From a woman whose parents didn’t want a girl, thank you for protecting her and putting her first.
Your ex, tho… The emotional incest and enmeshment those boys are going to endure thanks to her will cause unimaginable damage to their future relationships with themselves and others. They will never have a healthy relationship without setting clear and staunch boundaries in their relationship with their mother. Poor boys.
Me and my husband have 4 daughters (3 together, 1 step) and we wouldn’t change it it for anything in the world! I love my girls! 🩷 you’re a damn good dad!
Strangely enough, this is what my 1st wife did. Left the two children we had with me and took off with another man. I had a daughter who was older and a son. She got remarried 3 more times. Had 5 boys and is now a boy mom with all of her kids from different dads. She never contacts my daughter or my son ever. Not once.
She used to post about how great of a mother she is, how her boys are her life and then all her friends would post about how great she was as a parent. I wanted to blow all of that up many many times. But it would have done nothing positive for the two children we had together.
So instead I just deleted my Facebook account and will never have to see her bullshit ever again.
What would happen if you called her out on those social media posts?
I was the only girl in a family of all boys, and both my aunt and mother were the typical boy moms their boys could no wrong.
My aunt died alone because the two sons were spoiled little brats wanted nothing to do with her.
My mother has two sons who hate her because she has ruined their relationship because most women don’t want to deal with your typical boy mom.
So hopefully karma will get your ex in the end.
This post makes my heart so happy for you and your little girl!
For what it’s worth, I was a girl who was shamed and put down for liking anything remotely “girly” growing up (conservative Mormon family, second youngest of 10 kids and youngest daughter to boot).
It wasn’t until I was all grown up and cut my family off that I learned a lesson that it sounds like you’ve already taught your daughter: You can be a badass and be girly at the same time.
I learned how to carve wood and fix 3D printers while wearing a tight dress and high heels. I kick my boyfriend’s ass at video games and then arrange a bouquet of flowers. Your daughter dominates on the tennis court with a pink racket.
All of this is to say, I wish I had a parent like you growing up who taught me that liking pink and sparkly things doesn’t make you “lesser”. It makes you freaking awesome.
Your daughter is so lucky to have you 💚
I have 3 boys and a girl, and I couldn’t imagine loving one over the other. (I grew up that way and I know my mom wanted just boys or a “mini her” in a girl, so was constantly reminded of that). My teens are boys and my toddler is a girl, and newborn is a boy. When our friends asked if I wanted a boy or girl this time around, I was just happy for a healthy baby because I finally got my little girl after waiting 10 years between my teens & toddler lol. They are all so amazing in their own way 🙂
My eldest (15) teen is quiet, cautious and a very good kid- we jokingly call him “the hall monitor” because he is definitely a rule follower lol he is so similar to me in many ways. My second eldest (13) is so much like his dad & I love the difference between them & their bond. He’s outgoing and adventurous. My toddler (3) is adorable, I just love her. Her personality, her laughter, how she and her brothers get along. Right now, she’s at that stage where she wants to do everything with me and wants me to join her whenever she plays. And now we have a 13 week old baby boy, and my toddler is such a great big sister already. She definitely tries to boss him though haha. My heart swells every day, waking up to my kids every morning and love being able to grow with them every day as a stay at home mom. They are my world.
Your daughter is so lucky to have you raise her & I’m sorry your ex couldn’t see what a gift she had given up.
You are a wonderful father and your daughter is a reflection of that.
As for her Mum, yuk. I actually find Mum’s like that very sad. I hope her sons grow up to realise their relationship is unhealthy.
I do wonder what she would have done if she had daughters instead of sons. Would she leave a trail of daughters behind?
Oof, she would have ruined your baby’s life. And the endless support you mention from your family leads me to believe your daughter’s getting a lot of love from lots of family. From a woman who had an emotionally unavailable dad and virtually no extended family – THANK YOU ❤️
Just making sure you know that your daughter being so amazing is due mainly to a single reason……YOU!!!!
My dad did the same and gave my bio mum an out, your daughter will understand and be grateful when she’s old enough to fully understand
You seem like a fantastic parent. I just wanted to share that. Keep doing what you’re doing!
I refer to myself as “a mom to boys” because “boy mom” gives me the ick. I grew up as one of three sisters, and although I’ll admit, I wanted a boy just to see what it would be like to raise a boy. I can’t fathom not wanting a child because of their gender. Your daughter is so lucky to have a wonderful father like you and a wonderful family to help raise her. She’s not missing out on anything 🙂
Tbh, I’m a mom of a teen boy on the spectrum (no we’re not enmeshed, he’s not my little man of the house etc), and I’ve often thought I would suck and being a mom of a daughter.
But it’s everything to do with my dysfunctional childhood (narc mom and expectations of me growing up), and nothing to do with any child I would be lucky enough to parent.
I do find myself enjoying having a girl in the house now (his girlfriend visiting) and being able to be a source of comfort and reassurance for her too, her home life has issues. Talking as one woman to another.
For me time has definitely made me a better parent.
OP, I’m proud of you for stepping up for your daughter, regardless of how other things play out (ex) you have done your daughter proud and she is lucky to have such a great role model for future partners.
I wish someone would have done that for me. You are a good person OP; your daughter is lucky to have you.
As a woman who has a mother who never wanted a daughter, thank you for saving her from a toxic mother and being the best dad!
I too had an amazing dad and he’s the reason I’m not a total disaster. He showed me love and care and while I knew my mother didn’t love me, I knew always that he did. I have a daughter and a son and I can’t imagine loving them any differently because of their gender.
> I (m29) got my then girlfriend pregnant as a teenager.
This is when you should have saved her. Before the poor kid was born.
There are people out there who are trying to conceive and start a family who they will love and cherish and meanwhile this fucking witch gets three kids born to her and is shit to them all I’m sure.
ChatGPT is a heck of a writer!!!
Her loss. Good job not forcing a relationship and doing what was best for your daughter!
What a beautiful post!
You’re a great father, I can feel your pride and joy with the words you use to describe your amazing daughter.
I have three children, boy, girl, boy. I adore all three of them. I’m not into that boy mom crap either. It is weird. My mom and brother are kinda like that, although she adores me as well but they have a codependent relationship and it is obvious and weird to many people. Especially my brother’s significant other.
I am so happy for you and your daughter. I love reading about daddy’s like you ❤️
Sooo, I’m a mom to both a boy (19) and a girl (16). To be honest, I said, when I was pregnant both times, that I really didn’t want a girl. It wasn’t because I wanted/am a ‘boy mom’ but because I have had some crazy medical issues that messed up most of my teens, caused tremendous amounts of pain and I have now had 8 operations to try to deal with them (I’m in my 40’s)…I never wanted to feel helpless while my daughter went through all the issues I did. Doctors wanted to admit me to psyche wards because they couldn’t find the issue, and when they did find it they couldn’t contain it. Again an only female issue, and my fear was and still is not being able to do anything but sympathize, rub my daughters back, put cool cloths on her hear while holding hot water bottles to her pained areas (stomach and back) while she sweats, shivers, cries and pukes from pain. Knock on wood, she only seems to be showing very mild signs so far (mine started at 12). With all that said I wouldn’t trade her for the world the moon and/or the stars. Sometimes, we do have to look deeper into why someone “doesn’t want a girl”. Also, OP, your ex is probably not really a good person and very selfish!!
You made a wise decision, your ex prefers boys but it doesn’t mean she’s not a toxic mom to them
I think you’re absolutely right!! I was raised by a toxic mom and, at 53, i realize it broke who i would’ve become.
Good job and you two are better off. Also I think we all know people like your ex are not happy there is a reason they make all the posts on social media. They want to give people a false illusion of themselves. Keep up the great work.
You’re an amazing father for simply accepting your daughter for who she is.
My father only wanted sons and it took him three accidents to finally get his longed-for boy. Decades later and the sun still rises and sets with Brother as far as Father is concerned.
Turns out that my mother is a misogynistic woman who also prefers her sons and grandsons to her daughters and granddaughter.
Yeah, one of the many reasons my kids barely visited where I grew up. They are adults now and have no real relationship with either of my parents.
I love this story.
My mom had 3 girls. I’m the oldest and was wanted from what I’m told, but my mom repeatedly told my sisters they were supposed to be boys. None of us felt wanted by her. We’re all no contact now for various reasons. You saved your daughter a ton of pain imo.
Do you get child support? You should
I feel sorry for those little boys. Toxic mom is going to enmesh herself so much into their lives and it will cause so many issues for them. You did the right thing for your daughter.
Don’t get me wrong I love my boys with everything I have in me and I know I wouldn’t have known what to do had either of my girls made it into this world.
While I might be one of the proudest boy moms I know, I’ve raised 6 total over the years so far, my girls would have been just as loved and adored as their brothers have been. I would have loved to not be outnumbered like I am and have had the chance to do all the girly things with them but my girls were meant to live in my heart and not on this earth with me.
These women who obsess over having boys like this make me wonder what is wrong with them.
As a mom of both I couldn’t imagine them being anyone other than who they are. My boy loves electronics and figuring out how to build things, my oldest girl loves all things girly and glitter and my youngest girl is a dirt seeker and fearless.
Her reaction to your daughter being a girl is downright disgusting. Your daughter is so lucky she has a dad that sees her for more than her gender and loves her unconditionally.
Congrats man. I’ve raised three daughters with a healthy spouse of course, and I wouldn’t trade them for anything. The third we really were trying and hoping for a boy, but the youngest is as athletic and bright as the first two are.
Keep up with the tennis, I played in my youth and got my middle daughter interested, and she was four time all league, and still holds the record for the most wins in her school’s history.
Youngest will be a senior next year, and she’s the soccer and BBall star as well as top in her class like her sisters. Hope she gets a free ride like the others.
Sorry to brag, but you have a lot of excitement coming for you and I’m reliving my happiness out of jealousy. Take care of each other.
You’re the type of dad I wish I had
Your a good dad
You didn’t just save your daughter from a toxic mom you gave her a chance to thrive in a space where she could be unapologetically herself. That kind of protection and support is what real parenting looks like. The love you have for her radiates through every word here, and it’s clear she’s grown up in exactly the right hands. Keep being her anchor, her cheerleader, and her safe space because you’re absolutely crushing it.
I wish all girls had dad’s like you. You sound amazing and you’re raising your daughter to be so confident and loved.