Clarifying context, I was married for 3 years before the cheating occured. We did couples therapy for almost a year after along with individual counseling. I have improved on myself a lot. I hated myself for a long time. I still carry the weight of regret, and always will. But all i have now is accountability and the opportunity to do better.
I cheated on my wife, got divorced, and am now re-engaged. AMA
r/AMA
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Why did you do it?
How did your wife find out?
What did you learn from the counseling?
Do you think you’ve changed?
I got a few.
Why cheat?
How did you get caught?
How did you guys (she) overcome this?
Would you rather have to eat two meals and buy $400 of necessary home goods with your ex-wife or current person at IKEA?
The minimum time together in IKEA is 6 hours, you have to be within 5 feet the whole time.
Can I ask what was reason for cheating?
Why do you think you cheated and at what point during the “cheating” did it stop feeling worth it?
Are you sure you didn’t confess and go back to your wife only because your mistress didn’t want you?
You said you have regret. You caused a lot of pain. Not only to your ex but to her family. They say you should make amends for any harm that you caused. Did you and If so what did you do?
Would you rather wrestle a 500 pound pig every time you get home or get punched in the stomach full force by prime Bruce Lee every time you sneeze?
Does your current partner know that you cheated on your wife? And how does she react?
Do you still work with the coworker you cheated on your ex wife with? Was it worth it in the moment?
When did you lose respect (the most important thing in my relationship) for your wife, and do you remember what it was that sparked you do it?
How was the relationship with your wife before you got married? Did you have doubts about marrying her in the first place or pressured to propose or did you really think you’d spend the rest of your life with her?
The trouble today is we casualise sex before marriage. Sometimes have dozens of partners and more and then after making a vow, expected that it’s one only for life or all sorts of misery will ensue . It’s a gigantic change and mainly about controlling reproduction . So neither partner brings up someone else’s child. Unfortunately on average in the Uk you are only going to be married on average 8 years so it’s not really an unusual situation . Don’t beat yourself up to much but if you think you are going to do it again don’t lead any other woman into a hell of a mess.
How much does your current partner know about your past marriage? Are they aware you cheated?