Alright so it’s been three days since I dropped that last post and yall! you were so damn sweet it made me emotional & also laugh like a maniac some of y’all really need your own stand up specials fr! 😭Anyway I wanted to give an update..
So basically I told my fam straight up “I am not getting married rn stop trying to sell me off like I’m a discounted iPhone at a garage sale” & no Idc if the groom is a “35-year-old successful businessman” aka WhatsApp Sheikh who thinks WiFi is haram… I’m not doing it! I. Said. What. I. Said.
Now my family isn’t like… evil… But ever since I turned 16 their brain cells formed a marriage committee… It wasn’t even their idea at first nah it was the local moulana & a bunch of deeply misinformed aunties who went: “If she stays single she’ll obviously get corrupted & fall in love and kiss a boy and maybe even… have a crush” Oh no!! Anyway I said no to marriage so they decided they wouldn’t pay for my education anymore… Yup. Told me if I wanna study marry someone first & he’ll let me study… Sir I’m not marrying a man just to get some Classroom access!
So I said bet…I started tutoring kids to pay for my own damn education! I’m prepping for med school entrance from home… Not sure I’ll make it this year but next year for sure I’m going…
They keep saying they want me to have a better future bro your version of a better future is me married off in hijab popping out kids! My version? I’ve got a plan..Imma finish my studies pass my exam,get my cute lil college life in a different city far away from this chaos maybe even live alone! I’ll study,work part time, build the life I want! Slowly on my terms! Not with some uncle who thinks love is letting you order biryani once a month!
Like..hello?? I’ve got dreams..I wanna study glow up fall in love with someone who respects me and knows the difference between feminism and Satanism (looking at you uncle!) & if that doesn’t happen I’ll just stay single forever and become a rich hot auntie who buys her own cake! Problem solved!!
I already know how this ends: my family will guilt trip me cry about shame say I’ll regret when Im old and lonely..but newsflash I’d rather be lonely in a city apartment with books wine and AC than stuck with a dusty dude quoting “the wives of the prophet…” While I cry in the kitchen…
So yeah I know I might have to move away next year, live alone, get a job, maybe work in a cafe or lab or whatever lets me study… I’m broke af & got no clue how I’ll manage but I’m gonna figure it out somehow… If anyone’s been in a similar situation pls drop your survival tips & side hustle ideas I’m begging!
My only actual worries now?
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Money.
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My parents’ reputation coz the moment I live how I want relatives start screaming “kuffr” louder than a broken mic at Jummah khutbah! Like damn chill. I’m just tryna survive!!
Also to clarify: Some of yall DM’d me like “Oh so you left Islam because of the marriage stuff?” Nah fam… I left it way before. I always had doubts. Didn’t tell anyone but I left long ago… My life didn’t get bad coz I left Islam it’s just been bad since forever lmao… So no I’m not in trauma or anything I’m just not Muslim & that’s that… But if someone did leave Islam because of how oppressive it felt? That’s valid too! Don’t come in my DMs acting like trauma isn’t a legit reason… Bye.
Also stop telling me “Islam doesn’t allow forced marriage” Like babes if you say marriage is fard & also say “no compulsion” you’re literally running in two directions at once “You must get married to avoid haram but we don’t force you tho!” okay so you’re basically guilt tripping me into it while pretending it’s not coercion?? What is this? A religious gaslighting seminar?
anyway that’s where I’m at. Not sure what comes next but I’m not backing down 💯
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k
Good for you follow your own path to happiness.