Three parents for four kids. One can distract the kids while the other two have fun. Alternatively we make time, plan dates, send kids to the grandparents for a weekend or more.
What if your wife has a lowered libido, touched out and stressed over the world. I am an active parent and do as much as I can around the kids and house but my wife looks at that as a given and not that Iâm going above and beyond
My kids are 18 and 19 now. Depending on your lifestyle and life depends on the best way. My wife and I would take off a random school day and do an all-day date together. Get the kids ready and put the door. Then get ready and go to brunch. The beach. Clothes shopping. Stuff like that. Its not a babysitter so you aren’t paying more. You get a LOT done and can take your time having fun with it. Plus when you get home you behave the house empty a few hours still. Always were the best days.
First is donât allow the kids to sleep in your bed. Set a bedtime routine, itâs relatively early. If youâre usually exhausted by that time get creative during the day. Turn on a movie and lock the door lol.
Sounds silly, but a locking bedroom door really helps. We have an older house and didnât know when we bought it that the bedrooms had working locks. Went to Ace and bought a skeleton key to try it out. When the little dead bolt popped out we were so excited!! Boom!!!, sex.
Don’t be afraid to plan sex way in advance. Some people think that it takes the romance out of it, but you can’t afford to be impulsive when you’ve got kids.
My wife and I still manage 2-3 times a week, and that’s after 12 years together with 2 kids.
Cut down on – not right now, let me just do this real quick fast – before sex. You see opportunity, take it. Otherwise itâs no way. There is definitely not a chance of you must pre-plan this. Quickies is the way to go.
My son is 7. For us it’s always been after bedtime or set the alarm for 30 minutes prior to needing to get up in the morning. But our sex life was pretty heavily reduced in the first 3 years as it took my kiddo that long to start sleeping through the night.
I think you have to accept having sex wherever you can find the time. Morning sex, before the kids have woken up. Afternoon sex when everyone else is out of the house. Late night sex when the kids have gone to bed.
I feel like two partners who are really committed to each other will find the time.
The main trick is to not get complacent and accept that âthis is just how it isâ after having children.
You still need to have date night a couple of times a month. Time to focus on each other and keep things kindled. For the love of God, donât call taking your kids with you to a local brewery date night! (This shit runs rampant where I live and it drives patrons who are looking for a little time to themselves nuts. Itâs ruined a couple of fun local breweries, but thatâs a whole different discussion.)
Since itâs tough for spontaneous quality time with children, plan it! Or, just start using mornings as your time to play.
Bottom line, MAKE time for it. Donât let kids or tiredness get in the way. If you do, it wonât be long before it become the norm, and thatâs not good for either of you.
Make sure your wife doesn’t find out laughs in cringy uncle
But seriously communication and quality time (have trusted people taking care of your offspings while you go make more)
My friend and her husband rush to have nap time quickies in the laundry room or whererever it makes sense and she says it’s the most fun sex era they’ve ever had.
I belive you won’t see this, but 1. Make your wife as well rested as possible. 2 Show her that you find her attractive both in subtle and direct ways. 3. Stay fit yourself.
Edit: maybe it was just our thing but my wife was much more eager for sex after I cooked, and cleaned the kitchen and/or our apartment.
carefully. lol its definitely possible just be careful you don’t get over excited and end up with another one.. I got pregnant 3 months past birth :/ .
Me and my ex would have sex once a day, but we had to make 20 minutes of time without the kids so it’s usually in the shower or we would both “need the bathroom” at the same time.
Random blow jobs for each other during the day also helps.
_Enforce_ your own right to personal time and privacy, and don’t be ashamed of what your doing.
For parents with newborns to toddlers, if a baby is clean, has been fed, is in a safe space, and you have the ability to passively monitor it and be with it quickly should an emergency arise, then they will be perfectly fine for 15-20 minutes by themselves every once in awhile. Humans and other animals have been doing this with their offspring for literally millions of years.
For parents with older kids, communicate your expectation of privacy, and explain to them what they might be walking into should they choose to interrupt. My wife and I have a rule that we communicate with our children: if it is past 9 pm, and our bedroom door is closed/locked, only knock/interrupt if it is an emergency, because we need some personal and private time amongst ourselves, and we might be being intimate in some form or fashion (sex or not).
Also do not be ashamed of what you are doing. They are alive in the very first place because two people had sex, and they will grow up with a healthy understanding of romantic relationships if they are aware that their parents are occasionally intimate. There are 8 billion people on Planet Earth, and every single one of them are here because of sex. If your relationship is solid, and your are doing your best to do things in private, then there is quite literally NOTHING to be ashamed of.
Dances With Wolves has a GREAT scene that encompasses the time period perfectly. Kevin Costner wakes up in the middle of the night in a hut at the native camp, and the chief and his wife are obviously having sex under a blanket. They notice Kevin is looking, so they stop and look at him like “bro wtf?!?”, so he looks away mildly embarrassed and tries to go back to sleep and they continue on.
wife and I have had 2 kids. Personally her labido is shot, but I have the sex drive of a teenager. I get her going “in the moment” but afterward we do our own thing like she writes and I get stuff done around the house.
just need to put some effort into it or ask if the wife would like to have sex “when she isn’t doing anything.”
You prioritize it. I know that sounds hard to do, but you have to. Even if you’re tired at the end of the day and don’t feel like it, you have to choose to do it. I don’t mean like making a schedule, just go to bed and have sex. If your partner is your best friend and you enjoy each other’s company you won’t regret it. Once you’re done, you’ll be glad you did it. My wife and I go to bed tired all the time, but once we’re there and next to each other, touching each other, we just can’t help it, it happens, no matter how tired we are, or know we have to go to sleep, we do it and are always happy we did. Hopefully that makes sense lol.
We have 3 kids and my husband starts bouncing off the walls if we go more than 3 days without sex. Which is great because after 2 days Iâm doing the same.
Right before the kids wake up in the morning is a big one for us. Sometimes we have 5 minutes, sometimes we have a whole hour. It gets interrupted. Which sucks but makes us want each other more later which is always hot.
We make time at least 2-3 times a month to have an overnight babysitter. That way instead of just quick dirty morning sex (which I love) we can do something a little more kinky/romantic/passionate. I love wearing heels and lingerie. Basically just being a MIlF. And while I do wear lingerie at home, heels are a big no go.
Itâs almost like work. You have to make time. You have to put the effort in. Because itâs so easy to not make the effort. Kids are exhausting. I have 2 kids in diapers, 1 thatâs breastfed, and a 7 year old that is a total mommyâs girl. I could very easily not prioritize sex but itâs important for our relationship.
Lastly different things turn me on now. I was taking care of the baby one morning. My husband got my 7 year old ready for school, changed my 3 year oldâs poopy diaper, and had a fresh pot of coffee ready for me. That was a turn on. So much so that I told him he needed to put another baby in me.
We had a strict everyone has quiet time in their room for many years. I needed it for my sanity sometimes but it also made for sexy time. Kids didn’t have to nap, but you had to stay in your room for an hour or so.
Itâs was tough for my wife and I. For the two of us sex was fun,intimate, exciting. First pregnancy miscarriage, my wife and sex has never been the same. We have two beautiful children in their twenties. But pretty much a sexless relationship.
Help your partner to handle and you will have time for everything. I have 3 kids . One is grown up. At 7:30 I put the middle one to sleep and she puts the youngest one to sleep. We have around 2 – 3 hours for ourselves after they are asleep unless there is a nightmare.
We only have one, so maybe it’s easier, but we just make the time. Bedtime is usually it. He does his fair share with our child and in the household- which isnt a ticket to intimacy- but it helps take some stress off my shoulders and thats hot. I actively WANT him. I do oral a couple times a week, we have sex some.. he always makes sure I get off. No selfish loves for men or women- ladies, stop star fishing. Ladies, STOP faking it. Men- listen and realize if you didnt cum, youd not be as thrilled to hop on bed.
He is the same amazing man that dated me. Imo, men go through all this and that wooing to get her and then do nothing to keep her. Theres a reason a bedrool dies, but suddenly shes banging left and right after your divorce ( and so are you). Youre wooing, and a new man is wooing her. Stop the disconnect. Yes its more effort, yes its tiring, but do you want a long, happy, sex filled marriage- or do you want a dead bedroom to blame on one person?
Sex should be important, talk to each other! After kids, keep your expectations in check and communicate.
Quietly in the morning before they get up; sneakily in a bathroom, or when you go upstairs to take âa napâ; or loudly when the kids are away at a sleepover.
When the kids are in bed. Also, ours are 8 and 11 and I can read their behavior and moods pretty well, so I can tell when they are really invested in what they’re doing. When they’re both super invested in something the wife and i will sometimes sneak away for a quickie too. Been married 16 years and have two kids, but we still have amazing sex 2-3times a week, sometimes more.
Comments
Naptime
Nap time
Send them to their grandparents for a bitđ
Marriage isn’t 50/50, it is 100/100. You need to be all in all the time. Put each other first always. Flirt all day every day.
Take advantage of any free time or opportunity + try to schedule some time for yourselves
Josef Fritzl found a way, but I don’t recommend it
Do it when the baby sleeps. Do it when the toddler is solidly distracted with toys for 5 minutes
Three parents for four kids. One can distract the kids while the other two have fun. Alternatively we make time, plan dates, send kids to the grandparents for a weekend or more.
A locking bedroom door and a white noise machine for the kiddo.
Bed tent!
At bedtime/nap time. Or just locking the door and being quiet.
Not
lol
We waited until they were teenagers, can’t really recommend…
What if your wife has a lowered libido, touched out and stressed over the world. I am an active parent and do as much as I can around the kids and house but my wife looks at that as a given and not that Iâm going above and beyond
After bedtime/before kid wakes up in the morning? We only have 1 though I imagine it might be harder with multiple
I donât.
Schedule time
Help each other get enough sleep, so when the kids go to bed you both have energy.
Mornings on the weekendÂ
When the child sleeps.
We have no family etc for her to stay with so it’s the only time, assuming we are not shattered by that time.
Vaseline. Not the way you think.
Put it on the door handle so the little gremlins can’t get in.
Joking love my kids more than anything.
If itâs important to you then you find the time.
Buy your wife lingerie from time to time. That works for me
Wait 18 years until they leave home.
TRT
My kids are 18 and 19 now. Depending on your lifestyle and life depends on the best way. My wife and I would take off a random school day and do an all-day date together. Get the kids ready and put the door. Then get ready and go to brunch. The beach. Clothes shopping. Stuff like that. Its not a babysitter so you aren’t paying more. You get a LOT done and can take your time having fun with it. Plus when you get home you behave the house empty a few hours still. Always were the best days.
Define active? 1 or 2 times a month?
Just put the kids to sleep. The only people who don’t have the same passion for their partner don’t have an active sex life.
Date nights. Cars. Outdoors.
By continuing to bone, duh.
By putting the P in the V
First is donât allow the kids to sleep in your bed. Set a bedtime routine, itâs relatively early. If youâre usually exhausted by that time get creative during the day. Turn on a movie and lock the door lol.
Trust me, youâll eventually get to the age where sex is no longer important. For those who doubt me, I didnât think so either, but youâll see.
Sounds silly, but a locking bedroom door really helps. We have an older house and didnât know when we bought it that the bedrooms had working locks. Went to Ace and bought a skeleton key to try it out. When the little dead bolt popped out we were so excited!! Boom!!!, sex.
Get divorced, share custody of the kids with your ex and fuck your brains out with a sexy new lover when the kids are with your ex.
This worked great for me.
Keep having kids
Back rubs turn X-rated 80% of the time. The other 20% is her falling asleep.
Quietly. And teach them privacy and boundaries at a young age.
Don’t be afraid to plan sex way in advance. Some people think that it takes the romance out of it, but you can’t afford to be impulsive when you’ve got kids.
My wife and I still manage 2-3 times a week, and that’s after 12 years together with 2 kids.
make it a family affair.
Our son is 8 months so we might have it easier than those with older kids, but we go for some alone time when he has fallen asleep for the night
Molly
Nite nite juice.
We have 3 young ones and have sex on avg twice a week. Put the kids down, shower/get ready for bed, lock the door, sex, sleepâŚ.
Cut down on – not right now, let me just do this real quick fast – before sex. You see opportunity, take it. Otherwise itâs no way. There is definitely not a chance of you must pre-plan this. Quickies is the way to go.
My son is 7. For us it’s always been after bedtime or set the alarm for 30 minutes prior to needing to get up in the morning. But our sex life was pretty heavily reduced in the first 3 years as it took my kiddo that long to start sleeping through the night.
I think you have to accept having sex wherever you can find the time. Morning sex, before the kids have woken up. Afternoon sex when everyone else is out of the house. Late night sex when the kids have gone to bed.
I feel like two partners who are really committed to each other will find the time.
Communication and planning…
why do you care.
You choose to. Make it a priority.
You need to work on that as a couple.
Where, when and how is just creative workđ
You make time
Take the time when they’re sleeping, and you also learn to do it quietly so you don’t wake the baby up!
The main trick is to not get complacent and accept that âthis is just how it isâ after having children.
You still need to have date night a couple of times a month. Time to focus on each other and keep things kindled. For the love of God, donât call taking your kids with you to a local brewery date night! (This shit runs rampant where I live and it drives patrons who are looking for a little time to themselves nuts. Itâs ruined a couple of fun local breweries, but thatâs a whole different discussion.)
Since itâs tough for spontaneous quality time with children, plan it! Or, just start using mornings as your time to play.
Bottom line, MAKE time for it. Donât let kids or tiredness get in the way. If you do, it wonât be long before it become the norm, and thatâs not good for either of you.
Make sure your wife doesn’t find out laughs in cringy uncle
But seriously communication and quality time (have trusted people taking care of your offspings while you go make more)
We have planned time each week.
When they go to sleep
My friend and her husband rush to have nap time quickies in the laundry room or whererever it makes sense and she says it’s the most fun sex era they’ve ever had.
Me : “Fancy a bit of rough and tumble?”
Her: “Ooh yes please! Tee hee hee”
You can’t, that’s a myth
You just leave the kids with the wife
Christ you all make having a kid seem miserable
Happy to stand in if your like a 6/10, not married and std free.
I belive you won’t see this, but 1. Make your wife as well rested as possible. 2 Show her that you find her attractive both in subtle and direct ways. 3. Stay fit yourself.
Edit: maybe it was just our thing but my wife was much more eager for sex after I cooked, and cleaned the kitchen and/or our apartment.
You dont
Bedroom door lock.
Come on, you can find an extra 90 seconds without your kids being around!
Make sure the kids have plenty of friends and always approve of sleep overs
Drop em off at granny’s for the weekend
You have sex, actively.
carefully. lol its definitely possible just be careful you don’t get over excited and end up with another one.. I got pregnant 3 months past birth :/ .
Me and my ex would have sex once a day, but we had to make 20 minutes of time without the kids so it’s usually in the shower or we would both “need the bathroom” at the same time.
Random blow jobs for each other during the day also helps.
Bed time / nap time. Bathroom, while kids are watching cartoons.
_Enforce_ your own right to personal time and privacy, and don’t be ashamed of what your doing.
For parents with newborns to toddlers, if a baby is clean, has been fed, is in a safe space, and you have the ability to passively monitor it and be with it quickly should an emergency arise, then they will be perfectly fine for 15-20 minutes by themselves every once in awhile. Humans and other animals have been doing this with their offspring for literally millions of years.
For parents with older kids, communicate your expectation of privacy, and explain to them what they might be walking into should they choose to interrupt. My wife and I have a rule that we communicate with our children: if it is past 9 pm, and our bedroom door is closed/locked, only knock/interrupt if it is an emergency, because we need some personal and private time amongst ourselves, and we might be being intimate in some form or fashion (sex or not).
Also do not be ashamed of what you are doing. They are alive in the very first place because two people had sex, and they will grow up with a healthy understanding of romantic relationships if they are aware that their parents are occasionally intimate. There are 8 billion people on Planet Earth, and every single one of them are here because of sex. If your relationship is solid, and your are doing your best to do things in private, then there is quite literally NOTHING to be ashamed of.
Dances With Wolves has a GREAT scene that encompasses the time period perfectly. Kevin Costner wakes up in the middle of the night in a hut at the native camp, and the chief and his wife are obviously having sex under a blanket. They notice Kevin is looking, so they stop and look at him like “bro wtf?!?”, so he looks away mildly embarrassed and tries to go back to sleep and they continue on.
Nice try Diddy.
That’s the fun part: You don’t.
You donât
Nap time, bedtime, school time, saturday morning cartoons, baby gates in the hallway
Say you’re just going to grab some milk then visit escorts
Father of one here. My daughter is now 12 years old so i speak from some experience when I say I don’t know.
Come again?
wife and I have had 2 kids. Personally her labido is shot, but I have the sex drive of a teenager. I get her going “in the moment” but afterward we do our own thing like she writes and I get stuff done around the house.
just need to put some effort into it or ask if the wife would like to have sex “when she isn’t doing anything.”
Having an affair?
Fucking?
Usually with my penis
You prioritize it. I know that sounds hard to do, but you have to. Even if you’re tired at the end of the day and don’t feel like it, you have to choose to do it. I don’t mean like making a schedule, just go to bed and have sex. If your partner is your best friend and you enjoy each other’s company you won’t regret it. Once you’re done, you’ll be glad you did it. My wife and I go to bed tired all the time, but once we’re there and next to each other, touching each other, we just can’t help it, it happens, no matter how tired we are, or know we have to go to sleep, we do it and are always happy we did. Hopefully that makes sense lol.
Wasnât this asked yesterday?
Saturday morning cartoons
You have to prioritize it.
You dont
Quietly.
Benadryl
Tell the kids when the hat is on the door knob donât come in.
While the kids are in school, while the kids are at grandparents for the weekend, when the kids go to bed or a quickie when the kids are distracted
Preparation. Towel and everything ready to go. Wait till kids sleep. Go at it.
Good locks, solid doors, walls with some decent sound insulation.
That way you just lock the door to the basement and have date night without disturbance.
We have 3 kids and my husband starts bouncing off the walls if we go more than 3 days without sex. Which is great because after 2 days Iâm doing the same.
Right before the kids wake up in the morning is a big one for us. Sometimes we have 5 minutes, sometimes we have a whole hour. It gets interrupted. Which sucks but makes us want each other more later which is always hot.
We make time at least 2-3 times a month to have an overnight babysitter. That way instead of just quick dirty morning sex (which I love) we can do something a little more kinky/romantic/passionate. I love wearing heels and lingerie. Basically just being a MIlF. And while I do wear lingerie at home, heels are a big no go.
Itâs almost like work. You have to make time. You have to put the effort in. Because itâs so easy to not make the effort. Kids are exhausting. I have 2 kids in diapers, 1 thatâs breastfed, and a 7 year old that is a total mommyâs girl. I could very easily not prioritize sex but itâs important for our relationship.
Lastly different things turn me on now. I was taking care of the baby one morning. My husband got my 7 year old ready for school, changed my 3 year oldâs poopy diaper, and had a fresh pot of coffee ready for me. That was a turn on. So much so that I told him he needed to put another baby in me.
I thought parents invented sleepovers for this exact reason!
We had a strict everyone has quiet time in their room for many years. I needed it for my sanity sometimes but it also made for sexy time. Kids didn’t have to nap, but you had to stay in your room for an hour or so.
Very discreetly
Not at all, unfortunately
Thatâs the fun part, you donât
You have to wait till the body of the woman has healed properly. Wait at least a week after birth.
It’s gets better when they are 2+.
Itâs was tough for my wife and I. For the two of us sex was fun,intimate, exciting. First pregnancy miscarriage, my wife and sex has never been the same. We have two beautiful children in their twenties. But pretty much a sexless relationship.
Get a side piece.
Lol..no no that ended 12 years ago.
The amount of times Iâve been on the edge and then my son in the other bedroom starts cryingâŚ
I cry too
Wait until they are sleeping or while
They are in school
Help your partner to handle and you will have time for everything. I have 3 kids . One is grown up. At 7:30 I put the middle one to sleep and she puts the youngest one to sleep. We have around 2 – 3 hours for ourselves after they are asleep unless there is a nightmare.
It gets easier as they get older. Double points if you both work from home when they start going to school.
Have sex.
Spooning still leads to forking.
We only have one, so maybe it’s easier, but we just make the time. Bedtime is usually it. He does his fair share with our child and in the household- which isnt a ticket to intimacy- but it helps take some stress off my shoulders and thats hot. I actively WANT him. I do oral a couple times a week, we have sex some.. he always makes sure I get off. No selfish loves for men or women- ladies, stop star fishing. Ladies, STOP faking it. Men- listen and realize if you didnt cum, youd not be as thrilled to hop on bed.
He is the same amazing man that dated me. Imo, men go through all this and that wooing to get her and then do nothing to keep her. Theres a reason a bedrool dies, but suddenly shes banging left and right after your divorce ( and so are you). Youre wooing, and a new man is wooing her. Stop the disconnect. Yes its more effort, yes its tiring, but do you want a long, happy, sex filled marriage- or do you want a dead bedroom to blame on one person?
Sex should be important, talk to each other! After kids, keep your expectations in check and communicate.
Quietly in the morning before they get up; sneakily in a bathroom, or when you go upstairs to take âa napâ; or loudly when the kids are away at a sleepover.
When the kids are in bed. Also, ours are 8 and 11 and I can read their behavior and moods pretty well, so I can tell when they are really invested in what they’re doing. When they’re both super invested in something the wife and i will sometimes sneak away for a quickie too. Been married 16 years and have two kids, but we still have amazing sex 2-3times a week, sometimes more.