People who are usually quiet, what drives you to remain like that?

r/

People who are usually quiet, what drives you to remain like that?

Comments

  1. BeaLovees Avatar

    Because i always say something i shouldn’t and i rather stay quiet

  2. Childoftheway Avatar

    Fear of making a mistake.

  3. Ok-Jeweler9056 Avatar

    I like to observe

  4. Young-SnowBlood Avatar

    Not drawing attention 

  5. forgeris Avatar

    It really depends, I am usually quiet when surrounded by boring people and one of the loudest when I am genuinely having fun. So if I have nothing to say, am bored or not interested then I just say nothing and move on.

  6. ohwellthoyk Avatar

    I usually say the wrong thing or something people don’t want to hear.

  7. SquishyNoodles1960 Avatar

    I get interrupted or talked over. I just sit in the corner and keep my mouth shut.

  8. Red_Marvel Avatar

    Shyness. Lack of confidence. Being uncomfortable if too many people are looking at me.

  9. Fun-Transition-3051 Avatar

    fear of being perceived

  10. CathedralOfLonging13 Avatar

    A shared silence can be very intimate, it’s not something to be avoided with pointless yapping. If I have something worthwhile to say I’ll say it, but otherwise I have no great need to fill silence.

  11. Aggressive-Diver-931 Avatar

    Less talk, Less people interactions, More peace – thats my motivation.

  12. Miserable-Ad7835 Avatar

    Being an introvert.

  13. Tattoo-oottaT Avatar

    >Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and to remove all doubt

  14. ShoppingAcademic599 Avatar

    Because everything I say, wether it’s good, bad, kind, or controversial, it always gets used against me. So I sit in silence rather than being attacked 

  15. Boring_Boring_ Avatar

    People always talk over me, so I learned to just stay quiet instead, since no one seems to care for what I have to say

  16. cosmoscorvid Avatar

    I don’t know. Am just a naturally quiet person. There are times where I just go completely non verbal and I just don’t want to talk :’).

    If I do a deep thought about it, it’s probably the depression, honestly.

  17. Simple_Tomorrow1179 Avatar

    I dont want attention.

  18. ironnmetal Avatar

    I try to only speak when I have something worthwhile to say. Not every moment of my mind needs to be part of the public discourse.

  19. LuminousCraneSoar Avatar

    It’s not that we don’t have things to say—it’s just that silence feels more honest sometimes. We’re listening, observing, taking it all in. And when we do speak, we want it to actually mean something.

  20. soaringchair Avatar

    The commoners do not deserve to hear my heavenly voice. /s

  21. just_a_person00 Avatar

    Lack of confidence, fear of messing up, fear of confrontation

  22. Itchifanni250 Avatar

    It’s better to listen than to talk, sometimes.

  23. justalleyy Avatar

    I am thinking that my opinions are not valid for some reasons due to childhood traumas

  24. TreasureTheSemicolon Avatar

    For me it’s a default state of being. What drives you to incessantly run your mouth?

  25. Upset_Let Avatar

    Idk, i can’t keep my mouth shut for the life of me. Well, unless I am very tired lol

  26. Square_Cantaloupe_38 Avatar

    I genuinely am not a super verbal person. I can think of ideas when I write things down more than orally speaking. I’ve always been this way, growing up I hated it but could never change myself no matter how hard I tried. 

  27. skewiffcorn Avatar

    I found my voice a few years ago so no longer that quiet, but for me it was a mixture of things …

    1. I didn’t have anything to say
    2. I’m worried about saying the wrong thing

    But secretly it was a third thing … trauma

    I was just so traumatised from an abusive childhood and an abusive relationship that I just learnt to shut up and survive instead. I have adhd so I always have something to say I was just so scared of lash back for daring to speak

  28. ShadowLorna Avatar

    Because it’s easier to observe the chaos and pretend I’m not involved. Plus, silence is golden…

  29. throwaway867530n Avatar

    I don’t like to contribute to conversations unless I have something meaningful to say. It usually leads to people thinking I’m super smart and mysterious even though I’m usually thinking about tacos or whatever.

  30. kirkarelli Avatar

    Most people only care about what they think, not what others think. So I just listen to others talk most often. If someone wants to know my opinion I’ll answer, but that rarely happens unfortunately. Especially if they think/know I will disagree with them or offer a completely different perspective. Especially in politics/current events. Most people in my sphere are on the other side of the political spectrum so they never ask me what I think, cuz they know I’ll disagree with them. So I just listen.

  31. Helpful_Spring_7921 Avatar

    When people say things people find them funny but when i say them its not funny anymore

  32. workerbee223 Avatar

    I’m usually in my own head. I might just be observing or I might be deep in some thought.

    Or maybe I’m just not feeling social.

    I am an introvert by nature, but have learned some extroverted behavior because you have to have some extroversion to get ahead in this world. Sometimes I can launch into social interaction, and sometimes I have to mentally prepare for it.

    But being extroverted is a huge drain on my emotional batteries. I’m good for short bursts, but longer periods really leave me feeling exhausted.

  33. SweetMaria78 Avatar

    Sometimes I’m lazy to move my lips and sometimes “I prefer really not to speak, if I speak I’m in big trouble”

  34. ellepre Avatar

    I don’t make a conscious decision to stay quiet, I’m just a naturally quiet person.

  35. Visible-Ad1001 Avatar

    There is a higher chance I’m wrong

  36. CombinationFrosty408 Avatar

    Everytime I’ve tried opening up and say something I got ignored or dismissed. The more it happens the more it hurts. Staying quiet is easier and acts as a protective border from getting hurt over and over again.

  37. OkComposer4761 Avatar

    It’s better to remain quiet and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and prove it. That and I genuinely dislike people

  38. torieoo Avatar

    Everytime I go to speak I get talked over so why waste my breath

  39. jhaohh Avatar

    No one starts a conversation to me. No one wants to know how i am. No one acknowleged my existence. No one makes the first move

  40. CountessLyoness Avatar

    I remind myself that telling the idiots I work with exactly what I think of them will cost me my job. They’re not all idiots, but the ones that are make it very hard for me to remain gainfully employed.

  41. LazyBonez313 Avatar

    Someone has to listen.

  42. Unlucky_Author4998 Avatar

    It’s just not worth it. People don’t listen they don’t engage in real conversation, it’s all surface level and feels fake.

  43. madurosnstouts Avatar

    Nobody listens, someone talks over me, or I talk too much. Best to just be quiet.

  44. tall-raccoon1111 Avatar

    People I don’t trust.

  45. cutiepeachyx Avatar

    I don’t talk unless I have something to say.

  46. Fun_Buffalo_2049 Avatar
  47. Erianapolis Avatar

    Drunk, inconsiderate, loud, opinionated, persons who, like dog shit, lie everywhere.

  48. Pristine_Noise1516 Avatar

    Quiet people gather information about peoples’ beliefs and attitudes, and familiarize themselves with the subject matter, until they feel they are able to contribute something meaningful to the conversation.

  49. Pluviophilism Avatar

    Not comfortable around most people. Masking traits until I determine I can be openly myself around them without judgement.

  50. nbrhp Avatar

    im afraid of making friends

  51. adobaloba Avatar

    Speaking up won’t add anything of value to the conversation, the cons of speaking up don’t outweigh the pros of keeping quiet.

  52. No_Complaint8280 Avatar

    I’ve always been quiet and soft spoken, but trauma and fear have silenced me further.

  53. Available_Stop9423 Avatar

    I just feel no one is interested in what I have to say.

  54. CurtWyrz Avatar

    I do enough talking in my own head 🙂

  55. Long_Percentage_3293 Avatar

    Overthinking… by the time I have figured what I want to say, the manner of it, my choice of words, my tone, what I will emphasis.. the conversation has moved on to the next subject.

  56. PineconeKitDapple Avatar

    Mostly because my thoughts are loud enough already.

  57. Alone-Internet6135 Avatar

    Most of the times talking feels so energy draining

  58. DeadbeatGremlin Avatar

    Sometimes anxiety, sometimes just not interested in joining in on the conversation

  59. Ahasveros5 Avatar

    Got nothing to say tbh.

  60. Aero200400 Avatar

    What drives some to remain loud? I find that far more exhausting

  61. incorrectionguy Avatar

    I lack the need to talk about everything openly.

  62. hawkrew Avatar

    I find talking exhausting.

  63. Longevous Avatar

    I generally lack interest, and it feels as though my face muscles feel too heavy to move.

  64. Hyperbolicalpaca Avatar

    The nasty combo of being a girl, and being autistic lol…

    Told to not make a fuss, and simultaneously being terrified of other people lmao

  65. Crafty-Affect-9200 Avatar

    l’m the only introvert in a family that is very outgoing and extroverted, but, growing up, my best friend’s dad was also very quiet, stoic. Something he said really stuck with me, “Quiet folks know twice as much as folks who like to talk. I know what I know and I know what they know. “

    Now I work in a company that’s full of “alphas” that all NEED to be heard, so just listening is kind of seen as a super power. I learn all kinds of interesting things from chatty folks and, because I have time to measure my words, think about my response, often what I do say can carry more weight.

  66. lemo--nade Avatar

    not much to say, really

  67. AdInevitable2695 Avatar

    I think David Byrne said it best in Psycho Killer.

    >You start a conversation you can’t even finish it

    >You’re talkin’ a lot, but you’re not sayin’ anything

    >When I have nothing to say, my lips are sealed

    >Say something once, why say it again?

    It’s not that there’s something driving me to be quiet, it’s more so not many things drive me to speak up.

  68. garboge32 Avatar

    Nobody listens anyway 🤷‍♂️

  69. Commercial-Wasabi789 Avatar

    Because it’s a super power. It’s wisdom in action. Being quiet also serves as a shield and you become less predictable.

  70. Everythings-tragic14 Avatar

    I don’t want to say something stupid and be looked at sideways.

  71. IntrovertedByNature Avatar

    I’m just not wired for constant conversation. I speak only when i have something worthwhile to say

  72. Lloytron Avatar

    People who are usually talking the whole time, what drives you to remain like that. Also, STFU. 😀

  73. Fluffy_Surprise_237 Avatar

    Personally I think its a cultural thing. I grew up in a east asian household where you had to have a lot of respect of hierarchy and authority, which kind of made you always default to listen and watching first, and also respecting other people.
    Respecting other people, and being aware of yourself relative to the environment your standing in (and the impact you can have on it), kind of always makes me quiet, which tbh I think is a good thing. Dunno if that helps, just my pov.

  74. forfeitureplural7 Avatar

    I learned when I was young that even if people listen, rarely are you actually heard.

  75. Complex_Raspberry97 Avatar

    I used to be very quiet. It was just low self-esteem and fear of what people would think of me if I spoke. I certainly put my foot in my mouth sometimes these days, but it’s better than always sitting quietly on the sidelines.

  76. Imaginary-List-4945 Avatar

    Nothing, it’s my natural state. I talk a lot when I’m with a close friend, or with my adult daughter, but in a group I’m happy to just let the conversation wash over me, and when I’m home alone I enjoy the silence. It would never occur to me to call someone up just to chat.

  77. sherlock_unlocked Avatar

    social anxiety + i don’t have anything to say + i get ignored often + i’m boring and awkward

  78. LabExpensive4764 Avatar

    I don’t feel safe interacting much with people I don’t know very very well. Also, related, I don’t like people and don’t need the validation of interaction.

  79. UnicornFarts84 Avatar

    Hoping the person talking to me will leave me alone. 😅

  80. ScreamingBanshee5150 Avatar

    Have you talked to people before? They suck!

  81. random_dude6472 Avatar

    Most people are boring and I prefer spending time with my own thoughts over talking to them.

  82. Vinny_Lam Avatar

    Because I have nothing I want to say.

  83. thai-stik-admin Avatar

    You just have to keep your mouth shut and listen to what’s going on around you to be better informed of your surroundings.

  84. Girth_Cobain Avatar

    C-ptsd. When i was a kid i was usually scolded or teased and accused by parents and teachers of saying inappropriate things so I just shut myself down and am basically dead inside

    Slightly above average intelligent probably made me say weird shit all the time, I also suspect I’m slightly autistic

  85. BereftOfCare Avatar

    There’s enough people banging on about crap, I don’t need to add to it.

  86. Blue1Eyed5Demon Avatar

    Too many people talking, I feel awkward, I’m shy, if I don’t really know anyone I’ll stay quiet too. I also like to absorb what’s going on around me. Listen to random people’s conversations, see if they seem like they’d let me interject if I can add to their conversation lol stuff like that

  87. Commercial_Flower773 Avatar

    I find a lot of conversations to be ‘stupid’. Maybe it’s my attitude, but it feels like most things that come out of people’s mouths are useless. I like to speak when I have something to contribute and it’s less common when I’m in big groups or talking about the weather, or listening to some obvious advice. I prefer one on one conversations that either bring me closer to someone, help one of us, or we discuss an idea or event that’s of use.

  88. Lawfulness-Last Avatar

    People seem to find me more trusting if I’m silent. Now it helps with Mt hand eye coordination

  89. Traditional-Jury-327 Avatar

    I don’t like participating in stupid boring conversations. I don’t want to attention too. I get plenty attention in my private life. Unless it’s a very interesting topic or someone directly talks to me, I am very quiet

  90. ToasterInYourBathtub Avatar

    I’m usually treated like I’m invisible anyway. Usually when I speak up for general conversations I get ignored or people don’t hear me.

  91. Soeffingdiabetic Avatar

    Neurodivergence, probably. lol

    Little bit of social anxiety mixed with apathy. Unless I consider you a friend I don’t really have much I want to talk about, and small talk doesn’t interest me.

    I love writing and communicating through literature, but face to face communication is eh.

  92. PARANOiD-eyes0_0 Avatar

    I always end up being talked over. This has happened my whole life, I thought I’d be able to find my voice and speak up but unfortunately wasn’t able to. I literally feel a piece of my soul disappear after starting the same sentence for the 3rd time..

  93. iamlouieVV Avatar

    apparently I have a deep need for a sense of control + fear of misperception

    I can’t control how people interpret or perceive the thoughts I share and the things I say so I don’t speak much 😔

    So, I guess my silence is out of self protection.

    Like, “If I can’t guarantee safe interpretation, I won’t risk expression.”

    Other times, I’m burnout and literally don’t have the energy to talk.

    I also love being the observer/listener. I’m the type to “people watch”, not in a weird way though.

  94. yelnats784 Avatar

    I can’t be bothered with confrontation, everybody seems so vexed about something and everything is offensive these days. As someone who was mentally and physically abused for years, now has PTSD, I stay quiet. I don’t share my opinion, i don’t back chat, I don’t stick up for myself, I don’t go against the grain so to speak and I don’t reach out for help off anybody. I got me and that’s all I need really. I think I’d like to change my mindset but I also like the peace it brings to just be quiet. 

  95. NewPlaceHolder Avatar

    i have low energy, so i prefer to listen than to talk.

  96. Normal-While917 Avatar

    Nothing. When I have something to say, I am driven to speak.

  97. Silver_Marsupial_708 Avatar

    I speak with those I am most comfortable with. At work it’s a mixed bag, I keep it as surface level as they do if I talk. Most times I listen and realize these people can’t even understand me nor will they even try. People want to hear themselves talk and it surprises how stupid they sound. A lot of times people will say something and look around for approval, when I don’t say anything they get awkward. Silence is powerful!

  98. Ornamental_oriental Avatar

    I use to have a friend who would call to hang out but we never talked. We were both introverts and quiet people. We just watched movies or used our devices together in the same room. How I missed that friendship where no one talks over each other……we just “hung out”.

  99. AdAble1628 Avatar

    If you listen more than you speak you understand more about the situation which then leads to better communication when i choose to speak. Knowledge is power listening and learning what others have to say can never be a bad thing and if you open your mouth too soon might say something you regret.

  100. fauxkage Avatar

    Anxiety, and the way I was raised unfortunately

  101. stormsync Avatar

    Just takes me a while to get chatty irl and even then it’s rare. People telling me I should talk more or don’t talk enough usually makes the issue worse since I typically TRY to talk “enough” to pass for being social but I always fall short because I’m just naturally more inclined to listen I guess?

  102. lost-in-lemoyne2 Avatar

    I like observing others to understand the vibe of the situation and I can’t do that if I’m producing noise.

  103. Simple_Step_9722 Avatar

    I just don’t feel the need to speak unless I have something important/relevant to contribute. I talk a lot when that’s the case, otherwise I’m silent. I don’t find silence awkward.

  104. geeen Avatar

    I’m thinking. Shut up.

  105. Ok_Relation_4881 Avatar

    i like to listen to

  106. PPE_Goblin Avatar

    I really prefer to observe and make judgements in my head. If you’re safe or I need to put you in your place, then , most likely I will say something.

  107. zingding212 Avatar

    Because when I do say something, it’s usually without a filter. Often very blunt and to the point. I don’t want to hurts anyone’s feelings or challenege opinions that can lead to arguments, and I really enjoy people watching. So, I often choose to bite my tongue and stay quiet.

  108. atlastres Avatar

    Words spill out of my mouth faster than my brain could process. I hate that. So, I prefer to remain quiet.

  109. DoodlyDoomDoom Avatar

    It’s just how I am. Talking is exhausting.

  110. jamiigemstone Avatar

    I feel like no one cares about what I have to say.

  111. Blissfullbastard Avatar

    When I was younger I was a huge extrovert, you grow older and get some life experience and you realize that most people are not who they pretend to be. You get taken advantage of, betrayed and you’re heartbroken enough you learn to get real quiet and just sit back and watch..

    Now I’m still extroverted but only around friends I know and trust

    someone’s actions will always reveal their character

  112. BeNiceOrGoAwayPlease Avatar

    Disappointment in the world

  113. Apprehensive-Ad4244 Avatar

    I only speak when I have something specific to say, I’m not into chitchat

  114. Financial_Ad_1551 Avatar

    I like to observe and understand who im dealing with before speaking.

  115. TrumpetsGalore4 Avatar

    I remind myself that if someone wanted to know something about me, they’d ask.

  116. Ok_Peace_3788 Avatar

    I simply have nothing to say, lol.

  117. vintage_chick_ Avatar

    I used to say stuff that I didn’t think was an issue but others did so I stopped. I’m working my way back to being my old bubbly chatty self but it’s taking time.

  118. NoGrapefruit1851 Avatar

    Most of the time when I have said something I have to repeat myself more then once and no one listens to me. I also do not like to talk to people.

  119. stxxyy Avatar

    Whenever I talk, I get interrupted. So imma just be quiet

  120. ribbithonkhonk Avatar

    I can never think of anything to say

  121. Obvious-Water569 Avatar

    I generally don’t like interacting with people.

  122. MyUsernameIsNotCool Avatar

    Because I rarely have the energy to talk with people if we only are gonna talk about stuff I’m not interested in, like small talk, weather, what you did this weekend etc.. I want to talk deep or nothing at all. I know that’s unrealistic and it’s healthy to relax with small talk with colleagues etc but it just drains me unfortunely so I’d rather be quiet. I’m a thinker and observer and not many people really get me when I do speak out my thoughts so I’ve learned it’s the easiest thing to stay quiet.

  123. strange-comedianShow Avatar

    I notice the loudest person in the room is the most idiotic. I’m not a fan of idiots, no matter how entertaining they are. But that’s how we got our current president. A bunch of easily swayed people listening to a loud moron and thinking that’s powerful.

  124. Designer_Cut_3527 Avatar

    Depending on who, I rather listen. I don’t have a whole bunch going on and I like seeing the excitement and comfort people take when I give them a genuine opportunity to say something. Granted, this has trapped me into annoying/boring rants from people – that’s when I start to watch a show/movie in my head lol

  125. bmf1989 Avatar

    Better to remain silent and thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt.

    In all seriousness though, I don’t like small talk and I don’t really want to talk unless I’ve got something to say.

  126. Gazornenplatz Avatar

    Because I’ve learned over time that people as a generic whole aren’t interested in what I say, so I just don’t say anything anymore. 

    Also, existing is tiring. I don’t want to spend any more energy than I already have to. https://youtu.be/Vqbk9cDX0l0?si=8lzhMgVcSyQYoHed sums it up quite nicely.

  127. Redflysoul Avatar

    I wanna learn to be quiet

  128. Floppy_Caulk Avatar

    You know that thing where you ask a guy “What are you thinking?” and they say “Nothing”

    Yeah.

    If I’m not talking I have nothing of note or interesting to say.

  129. Internet_Stranger_44 Avatar

    ancestral wounds where people were killed for speaking up

  130. Standard-Two748 Avatar

    Sometimes it’s wiser to be silent

  131. I_love_pillows Avatar

    People who are loud, why do you do that?

  132. RegularOk3231 Avatar

    You learn a LOT more listening than talking. A lot of people will say more than they should because they can’t stand silence 🙂

  133. TraditionalCopy6981 Avatar

    Just made that way, but you learn that if you observe and listen you can learn so much about the situation that when you do speak, people think you’re brilliant.

  134. josephine_giovanna Avatar

    Silence is golden. I can observe I don’t always need to speak.

  135. Cromises_93 Avatar

    I either;

    • Say something that I shouldn’t or

    • I just get my opinion about something ignored or told to shut up.

  136. existentialepicure Avatar

    If I don’t have anything nice to say, I won’t say anything at all.

  137. pinkstarburstenjoyer Avatar

    I don’t have anything to say

  138. MoodySketch Avatar

    When things you say are criticised or misconstrued either deliberately or accidentally, you tend to become quiet. And sad.

  139. Marcuse0 Avatar

    People who’re shouting and hollering all the time miss things. Quiet people stop, and think, and see things because they’re not focusing on making noise all the time. The amount of times I’ve seen something nobody else has noticed because they’re too busy running around and being loud is insane.

  140. NoObjective8146 Avatar

    Not much to say, or it would fall on deaf ears. I learn a lot more by listening than talking I find that if I have a question it will be answered if I just wait and listen. And I don’t think other people care to connect with me either because of this mindset or because I’m quiet but I like it. Makes me feel happier to be unknown and anonymous. I was neglected as a child so it hurts me more to be seen than it does to be ignored or dismissed lol. I’m like “huh you see me” I’m legit confused when I realize people can see me

  141. HologeticLife Avatar

    Because everyone else talks so goddamn much.

  142. heraclitus33 Avatar

    Take account of the room. Whats happening. Should this be said or not. Read the room… sometimes i just dont wanna engange in nonsense.

  143. After_Tomatillo_7182 Avatar

    Social anxiety and introversion

  144. grateful4u2287 Avatar

    People don’t really listen. I hate talking and you can actually feel the other person ignoring your words. I stopped talking as much, no one noticed.

  145. Physical_Sea5455 Avatar

    If I don’t have anything of value to say, I’m not going to say anything

  146. Grand_Raccoon0923 Avatar

    Because I don’t like any of you fucks.

  147. Syndirela Avatar

    It started as a self confidence issue, but then I discovered you can learn a lot more by being quiet. I have overheard a lot of conversations I wasn’t supposed to simply by being quiet enough they forgot I was there and started talking.

  148. Alpaca8020 Avatar

    I’m usually surrounded by idiots.
    I don’t see a point in wasting time interacting with idiots or people who are conceited, materialistic, selfish, entitled, and racist.

  149. sextoyhelppls Avatar

    I’m hard of hearing and starting conversations with strangers risks unbearable awkwardness

  150. Aperol-Spritz-1811 Avatar

    As Jackie Chan said in Rush Hour – “I like to let people who like to talk talk. That way, I can see how full of shit they really are.” or whatever he said..

  151. Kalepsis Avatar

    No one needs to know what I’m thinking.

  152. Altruistic_Tip1226 Avatar

    After multiple concussions, a tbi, a overdose/coma, years of drug abuse, I don’t feel the same in the head. Harder to maintain focus or attribute to conversations like I use to. Use to be very outgoing, and loud. Sometimes probably obnoxious. But after all that it felt like a peice is missing from me so I don’t feel comfortable when always talking to people. So I just keep my mouth shut. And also you start to notice how people act. People talk behind others backs and bad talk people, usually when they are the ones in center of attention. So if your never in center of attention you usually never get noticed to talk about. Which I like. I’ve always been a sorta nervous guy, besides the memory and confidence issues I like who I am now. I understand my social limits and stay in my lane. I dunno if that’s something can relate to or even umderstandle. Hopefully you get it.