For some reason, and I can’t even put a date on when I started doing it, but when I say mountain I really accentuate the oun part of it to where it sounds like I think it has three or four n’s in it. Only do it with mountain and no other words with a similar ending, ie. fountain.
I’m a big fan of the mixed metaphor. Burning the candle at both ends of the spectrum. The last straw that broke the camel’s back. Living on a nerve’s edge. But hey, they mostly seem to work!
Not a word or saying, but my partner has a tea cup that he uses at bed time. He calls it his “little cup”. It holds the exact same amount as the other tea cups that he uses during the day, but he thought it held less. He mentioned one day that he used it because he didn’t want a full cup of tea, just a little tea.
I teased him that it was probably the same amount of tea, just in a different shaped cup. I proved it too. So now, he incessantly teases me by calling it his little cup even though we both know it’s the same size as the others.
I had a colleague who would say “irregardless”, “supposebly”, and “alls I know”. He was otherwise a smart guy, so it was weird. I started saying “supposebly” and “alls I know” (I abhor the other one) ironically, but I had to stop before it stuck 😅
Any spoonerisms… I love them when they pop out of nowhere like a bit party surprise of joy. Hubs and I trip over them a lot and it always sends us into a fit of the giggles… the most recent was betty swalls.
What about things that we think we are saying right but people have pointed out we’re saying it wrong?
I’ve been told I say Ruhcoon instead of Racoon and tuhttoo instead of tattoo but I thought I was saying them properly. Now I don’t care so I guess I am saying them wrong on purpose.
I pronounce “Pho” like dough with an f instead of a d. And I pronounce “Gyro” like “Jye – roh”.
I.e. I pronounce “Pho” like “pho”. And “Gyro” like “gyro” – phonetically.
Listen. If you came over from a different culture, with a different language, and needed to translate your language into English. You have full control over “How to spell this word you’ve been using, that doesn’t exist yet in English.” – Just spell it phonetically. If you wanted it to be pronounced “Fuh”, spell it that way. And if you wanted it to be pronounced “Yee-roh”, again, spell it that way. I feel like they spelled it in such a way where people would obviously mess it up, just to fuck with everyone.
Illinoise. I live near the border and can’t stand the way most of them drive when they come over here to Wi. Still not as bad as drivers from Iowa, they never leave the left lane no matter how slow they go.
Also my MIL pronounces Wisconsin as Westconsin so I guess we’re even.
So in the Nuclear Power generation industry. Power companies call up the manufacturer of their steam turbines. Who in turn, send 50 guys and I to rip it apart and make all necessary repairs.
We use very large sockets on our impact guns to pull the top turbine casing bolts. Per our policy, we must have a “ Socket retention ring” attached while taking the bolts out. All this Socket retention ring is, is a rubber ring that fits over the bottom of the socket, with a piece of metal that fits through a hole in the socket and the drive of the impact gun. The official name is “socket retention ring.” But the 50 guys and I know it as a DONKEY DICK.
We work in a very loud environment. So while disassembling, we make it a point to yell “ hey (insert name) we need a large DONKEY DICK for the big Impact!” This is the humor we use to keep everyone’s lights on in the USA.
When my kids were small and I needed to go to a store and knew they wouldn’t want to go, I wouldn’t lie about where we were going; instead I would pronounce the name emphasizing the wrong syllable. For example Lazarus became LaZARus and McAlpins became MACalPins. They finally caught on, but sometimes we would continue to call it the wrong pronunciation just for fun.
To call it to each other, my wife and I call out Marco and Marco. The classic game of “Marco Marco.” It usually gets confused looks by whoever we’re with
A spoonerism is a sound transposition that mixes sounds in a short phrase involving two or more words. It occurs when an individual uses a phrase or word’s initial sounds interchangeably. People may switch parts of words or phrases, such as vowels and consonants. For example, someone may say “cast far” when they mean to say “fast car.”
Ex.
“Cakeing a bake” for “baking a cake”
“Criving the dar” for “driving the car”
“Chewing the doors” for “doing the chores”
“A lack of pies” for a “pack of lies”
“Shake a tower” for “take a shower”
“Chipping the flannels” for “flipping the channels”
“Wave the sails” for “save the whales”
“Flock of bats” for “block of flats”
“Bead a rook” for “read a book”
All the cities, regions, states, rivers etc. that were given its names by Spanish colonizers, before the west coast became part of the USA. Well I like to use the Spanish pronunciation and Americans will try to correct me and I’ll just have fun by continuing to pronounce them the way I like and I deem to be correct.
I’ll always use the American pronunciation for Aluminium with one of my friends because it annoys him. I imagine in 50 years time I’ll pop by his nursing home talking about my new aluminium can collection.
Instead of pronouncing voilà properly (vwah-la!) I pronounce is “vee-oh-la!”… because in the cartoon Rocko’s Modern Life, the character Heffer said it like that as a funny joke that he was too stupid to say it right and even as a little kid I knew he was saying it wrong.. but it was funny and it’s stuck for thirty years but nobody gets my reference so I sound like an idiot… especially because everybody who isn’t a complete stranger knows I speak French but they never hear me speak it. So they probably assume I mispronounce the whole language lol
i work in bacteriology and i construct the plural form of latin bacterial names according the rules of german plural (espacialy heavy use of unnessisary i-Umlatung)
Comments
For some reason, and I can’t even put a date on when I started doing it, but when I say mountain I really accentuate the oun part of it to where it sounds like I think it has three or four n’s in it. Only do it with mountain and no other words with a similar ending, ie. fountain.
I refuse to say gyro correctly! My sister corrects me whenever I say it in front of her but I will not back down from saying it how I want 🤌
I’m a big fan of the mixed metaphor. Burning the candle at both ends of the spectrum. The last straw that broke the camel’s back. Living on a nerve’s edge. But hey, they mostly seem to work!
Quiche – kweeesh
Angry – angery
The plural of therapist is theripi
Vaginacologist 🙂
Anglicizing mexican food makes it really fun to say.
Quesadilla = Kweh-suh-dill-uh
Fajita = Fuh-jye-tuh
Taco = Tah-coh (that one’s the same)
I sometimes use particularly bad grammar like “You’re gonna have to learn me how to do that.”
I cannot stop saying “I forgor” instead of “I forgot” because of the damn meme.
My favorite is in Spanish. I don’t say de nada. I say de nalgas. It’s hilarious.
Intronet
“Pokiemans” never fails to get a reaction from the young crowd
See youse later. It gives a lot of people the shits.
Naked instead of Naked
Sangwich. That’s how my grandpa said it.
“Tentacly” instead of “technically”. It annoys the crap out of my brother
Jesus —> Jesii.
Specifically —> pacifically.
Responsibilities —> sponserbileries
I sometimes say “scissors” as “skissors” for the funny
aint aint a word dammit
Pregnant, Pregnante, Preganant, Gregnant
Irregardless is my fave.
Also my husband writes dates like 1nd 2rd 3st
Dawwwwwg for dog.
Because I have been watching those damn body cam videos on Youtube and they unleash the K9 units and they “Get the DAWWWWGGG”
The plural of socks is soxen. Box gets similar treatment.
I like to drink Faxe beer. I think shortly I’m gonna run and grab a few faxen.
Multiple moose are meece
“Easy peasy squeeze the lemon” -from a fantastic TV show
Ed Sheeran. I know how to say his name, but it always makes my partner uncomfortable when I say it wrong, and it’s funny
Not a word or saying, but my partner has a tea cup that he uses at bed time. He calls it his “little cup”. It holds the exact same amount as the other tea cups that he uses during the day, but he thought it held less. He mentioned one day that he used it because he didn’t want a full cup of tea, just a little tea.
I teased him that it was probably the same amount of tea, just in a different shaped cup. I proved it too. So now, he incessantly teases me by calling it his little cup even though we both know it’s the same size as the others.
Tomorry instead of tomorrow!
Calling croissants “cruh-saints” with full confidence.
“me llamo es”
Mexican/American/Brazilian instead of Spanish and so on.
Southern as south-urn
How the turntables
I can’t hear or say the word subway without saying eat fresh or the word tong without tong tong tong tong-tong.
“Thank You” in Malay and Indonesian is “Terima Kahsi”, often use “tear up my car seat” depending of situation as a joke or an insult.
“Mac” Donalds.
I can say “gut’n tok” really well, but I purposely like to say “goo tin tyag” in American, and then speak the rest of German with a decent accent.
Shwepeepees
Flustrated. Heard a chef on Hell’s Kitchen say it and it stuck.
“I fingered” instead of figured
“Merote” instead of remote
“Cop Porn” instead of popcorn
Irregardlessly. It’s wrong on both prefix and suffix, so I really hope it’s so wrong that people realize it’s intentional.
As an Aussie, I try to promote the second person plural.
How are youse doing today?
Irregardless, and from the gen-z I use “feel some type of way”
I had a colleague who would say “irregardless”, “supposebly”, and “alls I know”. He was otherwise a smart guy, so it was weird. I started saying “supposebly” and “alls I know” (I abhor the other one) ironically, but I had to stop before it stuck 😅
>Christina Ricci
“Ree-kee”.
I know it’s “Ree-chee” but I think it should be the former.
>Koo-koo kachoo
That’s what I heard the first time I listened to I am The Walrus.
Saying “expresso” instead of “espresso”
I pronounce tissues the correct way. Tes-sues
“Epitome” said like it is spelled.
Any spoonerisms… I love them when they pop out of nowhere like a bit party surprise of joy. Hubs and I trip over them a lot and it always sends us into a fit of the giggles… the most recent was betty swalls.
What about things that we think we are saying right but people have pointed out we’re saying it wrong?
I’ve been told I say Ruhcoon instead of Racoon and tuhttoo instead of tattoo but I thought I was saying them properly. Now I don’t care so I guess I am saying them wrong on purpose.
Li-berry.
slowmotion -> smowlotion
I like to literally pronounce tragedeighs out in the wild. Like “E-ZPass” is either “eh zzz pass” or “e dash zuhpass”
Always say “as they say in France” then say the phrase in Spanish. Some odd reason it ticks people off.
Im on my way home, will you cold me a drink, please?
And then, (every time)
Yes, I know cold is not a word in the way I used it. But “cold a drink” is quicker then, “put a drink in the refrigerator.”
I’d like to put this phone down so I can actually get home and drink said drink, so since you still somehow knew what I meant, is that a yes?
It’s funny when someone KNOWS you do it on purpose, yet can’t stop themselves from correcting you regardless.
Gulf of Mexico (to me it isn’t wrong though and the new name is just temporary).
People don’t think it be like it is but it do
Worcestershire sauce. I just can’t say it right
Amulance, as in, “pull over, here comes an Amulance”. Edit to add: Menses, as in, “now you menses listen up, “
Kill 2 stones with one bird
My mother pronounces cordial (like, the syrup used as a base with water for sweet drinks) as cordical.
My Dad used to call any video games “Intendo Games” and sometimes I’ll use that.
I pronounce “Pho” like dough with an f instead of a d. And I pronounce “Gyro” like “Jye – roh”.
I.e. I pronounce “Pho” like “pho”. And “Gyro” like “gyro” – phonetically.
Listen. If you came over from a different culture, with a different language, and needed to translate your language into English. You have full control over “How to spell this word you’ve been using, that doesn’t exist yet in English.” – Just spell it phonetically. If you wanted it to be pronounced “Fuh”, spell it that way. And if you wanted it to be pronounced “Yee-roh”, again, spell it that way. I feel like they spelled it in such a way where people would obviously mess it up, just to fuck with everyone.
I always say “devils avocado” in honor of the great Tracy Jordan
Quesadilla – like zilla in godzilla but with a d. Quesa – Dilla
Edamame – Eeee-duh-maim
Sometimes I pronounce the L in Salmon just because I know it triggers people.
I also always pronounce burritos like Matthew Berry in WWDITS now. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JUO7LvDnCPA
Meg Ryan for margarine
Zackly
Debris said how it is spelled.
I knew someone who instead of saying “buckle her up” or “put her seatbelt on”, she’d say “Plug her in”, so now It’s a decent part of my vocab
Illinoise. I live near the border and can’t stand the way most of them drive when they come over here to Wi. Still not as bad as drivers from Iowa, they never leave the left lane no matter how slow they go.
Also my MIL pronounces Wisconsin as Westconsin so I guess we’re even.
So in the Nuclear Power generation industry. Power companies call up the manufacturer of their steam turbines. Who in turn, send 50 guys and I to rip it apart and make all necessary repairs.
We use very large sockets on our impact guns to pull the top turbine casing bolts. Per our policy, we must have a “ Socket retention ring” attached while taking the bolts out. All this Socket retention ring is, is a rubber ring that fits over the bottom of the socket, with a piece of metal that fits through a hole in the socket and the drive of the impact gun. The official name is “socket retention ring.” But the 50 guys and I know it as a DONKEY DICK.
We work in a very loud environment. So while disassembling, we make it a point to yell “ hey (insert name) we need a large DONKEY DICK for the big Impact!” This is the humor we use to keep everyone’s lights on in the USA.
What a maroon!
How Bugs Bunny said “What a moron!”
We frequently say “compuper”…
Faux, always F-oh-X. Idk, it makes me smile.
Drives my wife nuts.
When my kids were small and I needed to go to a store and knew they wouldn’t want to go, I wouldn’t lie about where we were going; instead I would pronounce the name emphasizing the wrong syllable. For example Lazarus became LaZARus and McAlpins became MACalPins. They finally caught on, but sometimes we would continue to call it the wrong pronunciation just for fun.
I say robots like Zoidburg does.
Mercy Buckets.
I call the Nintendo switch a Gameboy but I also call the steam deck a Gameboy. Basically any hand held console is a Gameboy.
Rice cripsey treats.
“A pigment of your imagination”
“Peach impediment”
One of my friends says “Mercy buckets” instead of “Merci beaucoup” sometimes when he thanks someone
I like to say “viola” instead of “voila.” And sometimes I’ll mix metaphors like “the squeaky wheel gets the cheese.”
“What a maroon!” Bugs Bunny
To call it to each other, my wife and I call out Marco and Marco. The classic game of “Marco Marco.” It usually gets confused looks by whoever we’re with
“destructions” (instructions)
keyanne (cyan)
michaelwave
I love annoying my kids with ‘see how the turn tables?’ Drives them crazy.
I type numerals like this 2O.O5
A whole ‘nother
I have two I use as much as possible:
“A apple” and “Defiantly” (as in, real life use of the oft-seen on Internet misspelled ‘definitely’).
Spoonerisms!
From https://www.languagetesting.com/blog/examples-of-spoonerisms/
A spoonerism is a sound transposition that mixes sounds in a short phrase involving two or more words. It occurs when an individual uses a phrase or word’s initial sounds interchangeably. People may switch parts of words or phrases, such as vowels and consonants. For example, someone may say “cast far” when they mean to say “fast car.”
Ex.
“Cakeing a bake” for “baking a cake”
“Criving the dar” for “driving the car”
“Chewing the doors” for “doing the chores”
“A lack of pies” for a “pack of lies”
“Shake a tower” for “take a shower”
“Chipping the flannels” for “flipping the channels”
“Wave the sails” for “save the whales”
“Flock of bats” for “block of flats”
“Bead a rook” for “read a book”
TAMBOMBOLINE! TRAMOPOLINE!
I refer to any game console or video game simply as “video.”
Gif
I can has cheeseburger?
“He who fights and runs away….. can run away another day” – Brett Maverick
You’re a poet and you didn’t even know you were.
All the cities, regions, states, rivers etc. that were given its names by Spanish colonizers, before the west coast became part of the USA. Well I like to use the Spanish pronunciation and Americans will try to correct me and I’ll just have fun by continuing to pronounce them the way I like and I deem to be correct.
It takes a child to raise a village
“Blesh you” when someone sneezes.
I’ll always use the American pronunciation for Aluminium with one of my friends because it annoys him. I imagine in 50 years time I’ll pop by his nursing home talking about my new aluminium can collection.
I mean, I pronounce naked as nekked but that’s how I was always taught to say it, so. 🤷🏻♀️
Bat-trees
Quedilla
Vi-o-la instead of voila.
My wife and I can’t seem to say taco normally anymore. It’s always “tack-ohs” after the family guy bit.
I am a highly educated redneck.
I know how to speak properly, but my default lexicon is more along the lines of “da dawg tra sleep’n m’be agg’in, gonna beat’m wita turkaleg”
Hm.. In German I turn cities from sth.-burg to sth.-berg. Like Duisburg -> Duisberg etc. (Obvs. there’s a sound difference in German pronunciation).
Also I like pronouncing Italian food words as wrong as possible. Gnocchi -> G’notchee, Zucchini -> Tsutcheenee
I don’t think I’ve said the word ‘microwave’ correctly since that one Nigella Lawson video
Instead of pronouncing voilà properly (vwah-la!) I pronounce is “vee-oh-la!”… because in the cartoon Rocko’s Modern Life, the character Heffer said it like that as a funny joke that he was too stupid to say it right and even as a little kid I knew he was saying it wrong.. but it was funny and it’s stuck for thirty years but nobody gets my reference so I sound like an idiot… especially because everybody who isn’t a complete stranger knows I speak French but they never hear me speak it. So they probably assume I mispronounce the whole language lol
Microprocessors from the movie Departed
i work in bacteriology and i construct the plural form of latin bacterial names according the rules of german plural (espacialy heavy use of unnessisary i-Umlatung)
I call them crab ran-goons. I know I’m saying it wrong. I even know how to say it properly. I will never stop calling them rangoons lmao
It’s what it’s.
Saves me so much time.
That Bruno Mars apate song pisses me off so much.
I say “tomato tomato”, but they are both said the same way when i know im misinterpreting something lol