Genuine question for both women and men here — if you meet someone on Tinder and early on they tell you that they’ve stopped drinking and also don’t use social media anymore, what’s your honest reaction?
Is that a green flag, a red flag, or just neutral to you? Curious to hear different perspectives.
Comments
Well I am not on any dating sites, but if I would meet such a person in real life, that to me is at least neutral or a green flag. I myself don’t drink (never have) and use very little social media.
Good for them. I’m not on social media either (other than reddit but that’s different), and drinking (or not) is a personal choice.
I have a few friends who dont drink because of various reasons and it’s completely fine. We usually get non-alcoholic alternatives quite easily here
That sounds mostly like green flags to me, unless they get sanctimonious about other people’s social drinking. I don’t use social media other than Reddit and drink quite a bit less that the social norm in this country, so I’d assume we could be a good fit.
I know plenty of people who dont drink and also plenty of people who rarely use social media. Both are healthy habits.
Not drinking is a green flag, but not using social media would get my guard up, because are they telling the truth or trying to hide the fact that they’re married/in a relationship? Not using social media is of course a good habit, but I’m also not just going to blindly trust an internet stranger.
I wouldn’t want to find a girl on tinder in the first place.
Otherwise, as someone who never drank alcohol and never had any social media (except Reddit, though I count that as a forum), I would see this as something really good.
Neutral to positive. Both apply to me (insofar we don’t consider Reddit a social media but rather a webforum), so it’s an indication of potentially compatible lifestyles.
Well Tinder won’t happen for me, but if I meet a person like that elsewhere those would be green flags. Just hope they won’t mind my occasional light drinking once a month .
Mostly neutral, the only thing I would question is if they want to stop other people drinking, im a social drinker and when I’m travelling I absolutely love trying local stuff, so if they’re uncomfortable with that then it obviously isn’t going to work out
Definitely green.
For me, red flags (when I was using Bumble as a man looking for women) were
No social media is absolutely great and an instant sympathy boost.
No drinking – while not being a red flag in the classical sense – would turn me off. Firstly, I immensely enjoy good wine when cooking on weekends and not being able to share that with my partner would reduce my enjoyment greatly. Secondly, some of the best nights of my life have been spent together with people I love in a state of intoxication. For me drugs are a core part of experiencing life, and the Genz Z trend of ascesis and health maxing is fundamentally at odds with my view on life.
I wouldn’t be on Tinder, but if I met someone who didn’t drink and didn’t use social media, I would consider both of those to be green flags. I don’t drink anymore, not for years now, and I use very little social media, apart from Reddit.
The only red flag I see in that situation is one using tinder. I don’t care if someone doesn’t use social media or doesn’t drink. Their choises, not mine. Problem comes only if they start to want others do as they do.
Red flag, he/she will be in your face all the time, and you cannot give them an iPad or a bottle of vodka for a few hours of peace.
I use this trick with my children all the time, and it is a blessing. Administering both at the same time is the most effective.
I know some people consider no social media presence to be a red flag but I don’t necessarily subscribe to that. It really depends on their reasons for choosing not to have any. I have met some people who don’t use social media due to outlandish conspiracy theories for instance.
Not drinking alcohol is not a red flag at all. In fact it’s more of a green flag, so long as they don’t have a sense of moral superiority because of it.
Someone who doesn’t use social media anymore might have gone through a bad breakup. I’ve known people like that. Someone who stopped drinking altogether might have had an addiction.
If they are just the type of person who has never been active on social media and just doesn’t drink much or at all, that’s a green flag.
I wouldn’t use tinder as I strongly oppose dating apps.
To answer the question as a non drinker and non social media user except Reddit, I don’t think it’s a red or green flag. I think it would just come down to compatability as some people enjoy a drink or two from time to time.
I guess it depends on the views of the two people involved and whether they can reconcile those views to a point of mutual agreement.
Largely a green flag and positive on their behalf. It’s probably good for the mental health to not waste away too much on social media (so, good for them). Them not drinking is healthy (again, good for them). Furthermore, that means I won’t have to worry that I might have to deal with some drunken antics, which is great for me, as I feel uncomfortable around drunk people
Moderately red flag: Tinder itself is a form of social media, it’s not a tool used by many folks that are not present on other social media.
I would assume that they are unwilling to share their social media presence due to the fed flags that I would find there. Probably married.
No alcohol, no problem. I like a drink, but if it was a problem for a partner I can give it a pass.
It would be great for me actually, because I don’t drink or use social media either. But even if I did use either of those things I’d probably think they are just trying to be healthier, physically and mentally which seems like a green flag to me.
I don’t drink myself and aside from reddit I don’t use social media either, however unless it’s done excessively I don’t have any issue with people doing either or both. So I guess it’s neutral for me.
Definitely a green flag situation.
If they’re kind, still energetic about life, nab them quick before something else does!
Not drinking is a green flag for me, not many people that I know drink too much anymore.
Not having any social media would be a slight red flag. In my experience, it’s a tactic often used by people looking to manipulate or limit their access to you to how they want, so I’d personally be a bit wary of someone who portrays themselves as being completely inaccessible or uncontactable in today’s world.
Not posting often is one thing, but not having any social media at all just means we won’t get along very well.
Don’t drink – cool, I don’t drink either. Having grown up with an alcoholic stepfather in a country where alcoholism is probably the most widespread in the EU…. yeah, greenest green flag ever.
Don’t use social media – dude, you’re on Tinder. Otherwise I don’t use much social media either, apart from Reddit and Bluesky, so… yeah, fine with me.
Don’t drink: well, if they mean to say the’re not an alcoholic then that’s great. But if they mean to say they don’t drink any alcohol at all then I’d probably find them boring.
No social media: Great! Finally a girlfriend who doesn’t need to check her phone during dinner and while watching a movie!
We’d be very similar as I don’t drink and I don’t use (popular) social media either.
(Barely no one uses Reddit here).
> don’t use social media
this person might actually be sane
> don’t drink
this person probably won’t tolerate my functional alcoholism
Only with that info I don’t get anything from It. Good or bad. It Will prompt to ask if never drank, if stopped for health isues, for alcoholismo isues, etc.
Social media a Green flag for me if that person has a group of Friends or family to be in contact with. If doesn’t use social media and has no connections them is an isolated person and maybe not by choice because is in an app to match with someone.
So neither good or bad but a starter to know more.
No social media is a green flag. Not drinking well i don’t know. I like to drink so having a partner that is the opposite will eventuell lead to issues at some point once the whole “we are so in love” phase is over. I am fine with people that only drink on special occasions but someone who is totally against alcohol is a long term red flag for me because it will lead to fights at some point. Been there, done that.
To be fair, as long as they are not judgemental about others drinking alcohol in a social setting, or using social media in a healthy fashion. Then it’s a green flag.
The moment they turn that into judging others for drinking or social media use. Then it becomes more a neutral flag.
And once they start to advocate to others to stop drinking or social media use. then I’m seeing it as a red flag.