I’m like shaking crying, I’m really depressed and i love him with all my life, but my parents are stealing him over and essentially turning him into their kitten. I’m financially dependant on them and i live with them, what do i do.
My parents were never there for me and my therapist called them recently that I’m really not okay and for them to not do certain things, but they still keep doing them and they still keep stealing my kitten from me i feel like he doesn’t love me the most anymore :c I don’t know what to do I’m so upset I can’t even think or type
Edit: I don’t have the energy to go back and respond to all my comments but I’ll no longer let my parents step on me, I’m tired and exhausted and very overwhelmed but I can’t just hope someone will do it for me. Thanks for the advice
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Is the kitten still living with you and you have access to it?
How are they stealing him? Do you all live together?
One phrase that is really helpful is “love isn’t divided, it’s multiplied.” Your kitten will take all the attention people give him, and he can love you and your parents both. In fact, the more love people give him, the more he’ll love people (including you) in return. If there’s ever a moment where you want to love on your kitten and he’s in your parent’s room, could you go get him?
Treats. You can win him back to you with treats. If you have any money buy a range of high value treats you keep in your room and if your parents won’t let you have the food in your room once they realize your plan, then toys or even everyday objects that can be toys and be the fun person that plays the fun games with him. . Also if you can become the person that feeds him his meals. If you want the cat to come and seek you out and try to escape their room to hang out with you be the person with the food and the fun. Animals are hugely easy to bribe affection from, and nothing wrong with taking advantage of that.
Hey there. I don’t know you or your parents, but I’ve owned cats all my life. I grew up in a dysfunctional family and not one but TWO of my cats bonded with my parents over me.
It’s hard. Cats bond with who they bond with. That’s why being loved by a cat is so rewarding and special!
It HURTS when your cat chooses someone else over you. Unfortunately, it is ultimately the cat’s choice who they view as the head of the clan. Your parents could ignore the kitten and perhaps it would still choose them…
It really, really sucks.
I’m sorry you’re going through this.
It sounds like you may also have a strained relationship with your parents. So, I’m not sure if you can just talk it out with them? Ask that they not interact with your kitten? Even then, though. A lot of cats choose the people who ignore them. That’s just the way cats tend to be.
My best advice as a cat owner is that, if at ALL possible, you FEED your cat. My own mom thinks the two cats chose her because she feeds them. She feeds them because they owned cats and it just made sense for her to feed both mine and hers at the same time. She suspects they view her as the head of the house because of this.
So, if you can, maybe try and take over your kitten’s feed time? Be the provider of the food. That may show your cat that you are the head of the clan (to them).
Another thing to keep in mind? You said it’s a kitten. Kittens go through phases! When I first got my rescue, he slept on my bed with me every night. He did that for about 3 years. Then, we moved and he started sleeping on my mom’s bed. He kept doing that for about 2 or 3 years. Then, he went through a period where he slept with no one! Just chilled in his favorite spots. Now, he’s back to sleeping largely with my mom.
But he still LOVES me. That’s another awesome thing about cats. Nobody can change their mind. Your parents can’t make your kitten dislike you! So even if the kitten bonds with them, that doesn’t mean it won’t be bonded to you.
So, even if your kitten does choose your parents for a time, that doesn’t mean it’s going to stay that way! 🙂
I don’t know if any of this helps. I know that in a perfect world, you’d be your kitten’s number 1. I miss my boy sleeping on my bed with me. Waking up to kitty cuddles every morning. So I really do feel your pain.
Maybe some other folks with have some better ideas. Hang in there!
Dude, just play and feed the kitten. Cats love those who understand them the most. How much he wants to play, his favourite treats, who ever cleans his toilet. If you leave these things to your parents, of course the kitten will like them more.
The best way to counter this is
Remember that cats are living creatures; not possessions. You can be a companion but in practice not really an owner… at least not in the perception of the cat.
Be the only one who feeds the cat. This will endear the cat to you.
Catify your space in the home. Cat trees and beds… put them in your room.
You be the one who speaks to your parents about how you feel. Confront them about their behaviors that are dismissive of your wants and needs. Speak to your therapist about how to do this.
Cats choose people. Why are they keeping the cat in their room? Are they forcing it to stay in their room, or is it choosing to stay in there?
My child’s cats both will choose my room, but I don’t want them to. I thing to encourage the cats. It’s less about me and more about my room I think.
If you can get some cat treats and cat toys for your room, would that help?
What is it you think your parents are doing in particular?
Cats for sure choose people. I flew my cat first class from KS to AL and with me after rescuing him from a bad situation. You would think he would appreciate that and hold me in high regard.
Nope.
That fucker loves my daughter so much and I am absolutely the spare human. I do feed him, but still the spare.
I just want to say I empathize with you. My mom “stole” my dog away from me because I was too disabled to take care of him for a while, and wouldn’t let me take care of him once I got better. It really really hurts to see the pet you love be so happy with someone who is actively hurting you. My only advice is to love your pet with all your heart, and make plans on how your going to take charge of their care (if you can).
Is it possible to get another kitten? I know a lot of animal control places will even do “free” kittens during this season and that includes first shots and fixing.
You could tell your parents about reading that kittens will do best with a playmate.
Did you rough house, or accidentally hurt the kitten, or why would they try to keep the kitten in their room ? Usually a kitten has free choice to roam all over the house.
If you take over the chore of feeding the kitten, she’ll bond with you because they’re very food driven.
Also, play gently with the kitten with a wand toy or yarn etc. There should be enough time in a day for everyone to take turns cuddling and playing with the kitten.
Did your parents say something like it’s time for you to do homework or chores or ask you to clean your room or clean the litter box etc. ?
If so, try to get that done, then tell them that you finished and ask if you can play with the kitten now.
Kittens do much better in pairs. Make sure your parents know this. Offer a decoy second cat for them so you can have your kitten more to yourself.
You can’t control who your cat bonds with. Sorry.
How old are you? Is kitten just roaming around or are they actively removing him from your care ?
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I am having a really hard time understanding what the issue is. You live with the cat, you have access to the cat, the cat remains yours. Your parents sometimes put the cat in their room. It’s like you never learned to share your toys or something. Are you an only child? Sharing is in no way “stealing” by any stretch of the imagination. By your title and the drama of your meltdown i thought they were taking it to the pound or taking it to a different house or refusing to let you touch it. But no. You’re being ridiculous. With love, get ahold of yourself.