so I’m 18f and he’s 20m, I met him in February in one of my classes. I’m going to refer to him as M. I have a seat where I always sit in the class but my other friend (18m) jokingly tried to take my seat. today I got to class before him and got my usual chair, to which my friend M said “oh he sits there because he likes the girl who sits next to that spot.” me and my my other friend (19f) asked M if the other guy said that or if he was just guessing to which M said “did you see him on Tuesday?” me and my other friend were kinda like “well we don’t know anything” and M was pretty confident. I asked him “have you ever been incorrect?” and he got angry and said “well were you incorrect about your ex?” for context, my ex was physically and sexually abusive and I had just been opening up about some stuff so it was pretty jarring to have him bring that up as a comeback. he then said “you piece of sh*t you always do this” and raised his voice. and then just said I “don’t let him have an opinion.” he knows about my former relationship and my sensitivity to loud noises in general due to yelling so I was very shocked that he would do that. he said sorry but was very defensive in all of it, even saying he’s a man with more testosterone and that I need to be patient if he struggles with anger. I don’t really know how to continue forward because he apologized but that hurt and really broke my trust and sense of safety
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He’s not your friend, period. He was loud, rude and disrespectful. That’s your sign. Now avoid him. You can be cordial. But do not contact him, don’t text or call him and why’s he 20 still in hs?
I’m sorry, but what the fuck. ”I am a man with more testosterone so be patient with my struggles” that literally makes no sense. That’s the lamest excuse I have ever heard, M might have anger issues, but that’s because he ain’t right in the head. Also, it’s pretty vile to use sensitive info about you against you. You don’t want to surround yourself with people who do that, trust me. Dude is old enough to know better.
And lastly, you said it yourself, he broke your trust in him and your sense of safety. Why would you want to be with this guy, he is not a good friend.
This guy’s not your friend. A friend wouldn’t use your past like this.
I’d stay away from him.
that’s not a friend. that’s an acquaintance at best. when you get along with a peer you met in class or at work, they’re rarely ever friends (yet). that’s not to diminish a good relationship you have with someone, but if neither of you had a need to be around each other you wouldn’t be.
a friend doesn’t yell at you, curse at you, or hurt you.
you are not friends, and you don’t owe him anything. you can be cordial when you see him, but you do not owe him the time of day. you do not have to share or discuss anything with him, and you can achieve all of this without worrying anyone will perceive you as “rude.” if he talks to you, keep things short and sweet.
if anyone asks any questions about why you’re being any type of way, you also don’t owe them any explanation.
the best way to proceed is just to keep him at an arms length and avoid conflating a peer with a friend. he can apologize all he wants but he firmly believes that he should be allowed to lash out without any consequence on account of his “testosterone” or whatever, and that shows he does not and will not feel any remorse if he hurts you or anyone else in the future.
you don’t need to entertain him.
Not your friend. He’s an acquaintance at best. Maybe mistook him for a friend. As for Testosterone vs anger, not the same thing. He’s a jackass with anger issues and likely very emotionally unstable. I’d suggest permanently distancing yourself from this guy. No need to put yourself “in harms way”. Sorry you thought he was friend material.
Wow – he is terrible and is not your friend. Leave him in the dust
abuser behaviour
Sounds like a bunch of teen drama that’s hard to read because you don’t know what paragraphs or proper grammar is.
He’s a frenemy. Stay away from him.
He isn’t your friend. Just a classmate. Don’t hang around this guy outside of class. He’s not the type of person you want to be friends with. You’ve known him for a couple months and this is how he talks to you in front of others. He’s got serious anger issues. I wouldn’t want to see his temper if the two of you were alone. Don’t talk to him more than you have to and maybe think about moving seats to get away from him.
You owe this guy nothing, he isn’t your friend, and his testerical issues are not your problem, regardless of whatever bullshit he espouses to attempt to justify them. I’d stop interacting with him entirely.