Me and long term boyfriend discuss marriage often these days, but I wonder what’s best for me if our government starts taking away women’s right.
Me and long term boyfriend discuss marriage often these days, but I wonder what’s best for me if our government starts taking away women’s right.
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Would you rather be othered at best for not being married or do you want to be your husband’s property and still have no rights
There isn’t really a ‘better’
Entirely depends on the man you’re married to.
Either way, I’d keep your last name, in case you need a birth certificate to prove anything from voting to citizenship.
Under a Gilead / Taliban style regime, a womans rights arise exclusively from the status of the man you are attached to. This gives him ENORMOUS power over her, but is often better than being a victim in pretty much any other context.
Unmarried so you can get to safety on a country that will respect you.
neither of my parents were born here. if worst comes to worst…I am bouncing and not coming back.
My boyfriend and I are both divorced and neither of us want to ever get married again, even though we love each other deeply and we’re both in it for the long haul.
One night, while we were cuddling, I was kind of sad rambling about the shitty way things are going, but also how grateful I was to be with a man I felt would treat me with love and respect no matter how the culture wars go. Like no matter how bad it gets, at least I’ll always be safe with him. One of the many things I love about him is that he doesn’t try to downplay or dismiss my fears, including that being an unmarried woman could put a target on my back at some point. He just held me and listened, and then he said that he would marry me if that would help keep me safe. It wasn’t a proposal — neither of us want that — it was just a promise.
I don’t know the answer, whether it’ll come to that or not. I’d just advise other women to take a good hard look at the men in your lives and ask yourself, if this person became in charge of whether I get treated like a human being or not, would I like the outcome? Then adjust accordingly.
Better to have no one than a bad one.
If?
Married for sure. At least if you trust your husband he could protect you. Single women would be fucked. See: Gilead.
You should look into St. Hildegard Von Bingen.
Single woman, height of Christendom.
Doctor, Composer, Linguist. All around epic woman. Not a cubicle drone who thinks they are a high powered epic person. But an actual amazing person.
I couldn’t deal with being any man’s property no matter who he was. That’s not my identity and I’d rather handle my challenges as myself than have an “easier” time acquiescing to the monsters who want to force us into being legally owned. I’ll flee the country before I do that. I’d rather be homeless. I’d honestly rather die than exist as my husband’s property. The power dynamics would be horrific. Fuck that.
I am emphatically NOT suggesting anyone take steps to make this happen, but the honest answer is that the best marital status is probably to split the difference: Be a widow.
Married; but only if it’s to someone who gets it. y’know?
There would be no woman in power or a position. Women would be at home making babies and food and can never talk or complain about it
Married, especially depending on who you’re married to or who your family is.
Maybe if you had a wealthy/influential family, you could rely on the support from your relatives. As long as you are “in service” to a man, whatever your responsibilities to them might be, you are lawfully protected private property. As laws that mitigate discrimination are rolled back, women will be subtly and systematically marginalized. Doom scenario: You lower your husband’s status if you’re a career woman, rather than a homemaker.
Then again, the optimist in me thinks that staying unmarried in protest, and in solidarity with those who cannot/can no longer marry is a huge MIDDLE FINGER, a small way to stick it to the man.
If the Christian right government get control, women won’t be allowed to have careers. You tend to the home and the children, that’s it. No silly unneeded hobbies like a career…..
If you got married a career would probably not be a possibility.
If you are independently wealthy you could be a single spinster and have a career.
I’m not sure long courtships would be looked upon favourably. You would probably need to decide if you want to be married or a spinster.
Personally, im killing myself in a public display of brutality and protest in front of some important monument before I live in a country where we even need to make decisions like this again.
How is this just reality now? Ffs. I’m so sorry that you even have to consider this question.
Depends on whether or not unmarried women are treated as the property of fathers/brothers/other male relatives, a la Saudi Arabia.
Or you could move to another country
Probably unmarried, since the extreme right is also coming for no-fault divorce. That means there will need to be evidence of abuse or neglect before a judge will grant a divorce. A lot of couples back in the day had to fake evidence of abuse just because they didn’t want to be married anymore.
Become a nun? Not that the Catholic Church is good in any way, but it might provide some protection. 🤷♀️ Plus, I bet some other single queer ladies might have the same idea so at least there might be some folks to have secret sexy fun with.
Married, who’s credit card and bank account would you use?