I’ve been in treatment for the last 2 months and I’ve come to a lot of realizations that my life was a mess long before anything happened. Figured I’d make this AMA just to get everything down on paper and answer anyone’s questions if they were curious on what NOT to do in life.
I ruined my life in a single day. I am a 28-year-old drug addict in recovery that went from making 160k at a FAANG with a promising career to now unemployed with multiple felonies. AMA
r/AMA
Comments
Why did you go down that path?
So.. What not to do?
What are the charges?
Are you okay?
What’s a faang
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20 years from now, how does your ideal life look?
What was the tipping point that made you fall down this addiction?
What were the felonies? I’m glad you’re in recovery, you’re doing the right things now and that’s what matters
Was it cocaine that you took? Well done on reaching out for help. Takes a lot of courage.
I dont need to ask you anything. Ive done a wonderful job of fucking up my own life.
Go to rehab, stick with it, and listen to the help. I was a severe addict. I did 40 oxycodone 30 mg a day and 18 Xanax bars a day for 5 years. I’m now working on my 13 year drug free. Best thing I ever did was get help. One day at time brother I hope you find the counseling and therapy to deal with the issues u have had. Life gets better trust me.
How does one realistically deal with getting help if the response is tone deaf? For example, before completely going down that path
And 2) how do you reconcile the fact that none of that was “fair”? Have you come to accept is just life or has a reason or?
Hmm could you get these charges expunged?
F
What are you looking forward to in the future?
Was it your younger or older sister?
I’m a tough love type of person and I honestly think more people need to embrace tough love because it’s the main part about growing up and being an adult. Life is hard get over your sob stories and move on. (I’m not actually telling you to do that I’m just saying it for everyone who is in a hole.) Here ill explain
I’m 25 rn. I grew up dirt poor, my parents made jointly 40k a year. My parents had to take care of six children. Little back story, in the house I grew up in I had a step mom who abused me, an older sister who was addicted to oxy and benzos for six years 3 of those years me and my siblings and my father raised her kid. While she was doing drugs and committing prostitution. My other step sister was “depressed” but what she really needed was to hit the gym and eat the right nutritious foods and maybe she would’ve been better off (she’s good now though). My biological mom was a stripper turned drug addict turned multiple felonies over the course of 24 years. My biological older sister does fucking only fans 🤢. My older brother is in a biker gang. And one of my little brothers has mental problems.
There is also plenty of shitty things that randomly just happened to me to set me back in life. But there was one thing I have that none of the fuck ups in my family have. I go to the gym I work out I get strong and look good which makes me feel good. If you look good then you feel good. When you feel good you do good things. I over come obstacle’s in the gym and after high school and a long four year gap year of no college. I transitioned into overcoming obstacles in life. I went back to college at 22 I’m now graduating and secured a job for 190k a year starting august. I will double my salary every year until the 5th. (If you would’ve told 16 year old me this I wouldn’t believe you) Everyone has a sob story. But the reality is no one cares about your sob story. Only you do and that’s why you’re asking for help. Easiest fix is to stop caring about it. Literally just start your life over. Get into sales get into the gym. Go back to school. Get into door to door sales selling alarms for Vivint those guys make 100k in four month summer seasons or a solar company. Go sell cars. If you were into tech go get into tech sales. Almost all sales jobs don’t care about criminal record. Stop looking for answers from other people. And stop what you’re currently doing. Change needs to happen and you need to start asap. best advice I ever heard/read and as a gamer this resonated with me to the max. Especially since I beat Elden ring in under 100 hours first try. LIFE IS A FUCKING GAME, LEVEL THE FUCK UP TO BEAT THE NEXT BOSS. next level next level next next next! Oh shit lost a job cause background check didn’t clear. Okay go to the next. Don’t fucking quit. Cause if you quit you’ll always look back and think what if you just stuck it out. I say this all with love. I seen many people struggle with addiction, dumb decisions made, feeling of regret in careers. I get it but people need to stop with this soft shit and really start cracking down and just leveling themselves up. Make that money get fucking shredded, get some pussy or dick whatever you’re into. Just keep going and keep leveling up your life. ITS A GAME ♥️
No question, just wanted to say I’m rooting for you.
How do I get an interview at FAANG?
What was the company culture like where you worked at in FAANG? How productive were people expected to be?
Sorry you had to go through that. But you know that story about the old farmer and his son? I might botch it but it goes something like:
One day their horse ran off. The son said “Ah our horse is gone, this is terrible.”
And the old farmer said, “Maybe so, maybe not.”
The next day the horse came back and brought some wild horses back with him. The son said, “Three new horses, this is great news!”
“Maybe so, maybe not.”
The next day trying to break one of the wild horses the son was thrown and broke his leg. “I won’t be able to help reap the harvest; this is terrible.”
“Maybe so, maybe not.”
And the next day the army came through recruiting all able men. They passed the son by on account of his broken leg. The neighbors came to celebrate with the old farmer — this was great news!
“Maybe so, maybe not.”
That was long winded but the point js — if you didn’t know what was good for you back then, how can you be so sure you know what’s good for you now? You may have been selling your self short, and now you have a chance at a truly fulfilling life, one that wouldn’t have been possible if you hadn’t lost what you did. It’s kind of a paradox because obviously these are repercussions of your drug use and your failure to get help sooner, and it’s crucial that you own up to that, but the truth is you weren’t about to get help until there was no way around the fact you needed it. Bottom line, your life isn’t ruined. It’s just not what you thought it was going to be.
I’m seven years sober and life is better than ever. Stay grounded and you’ll have everything you need. You won’t get everything you want, but you’ll get all those blessings you didn’t even know you needed. Good luck.
Im sorry to hear but keep your head up i had a crazy youth drugs then pills then eventually H 2 trips to prison countless trips to the county multiple rehabs Ive been on subs since covid i know its a gray area but the H in nj is a mess but tou can do it if you have things you need to talk about therapy and people places and things is really important can’t hang around watching people use eventually your gonna end up thinking that you can dabble just once
Though I haven’t completely screwed up my career it has plateaued and lost it’s sheen in my 30s (and I’m almost 40 now) for much of the same reasons. F’ed up childhood (mainly family strife), being on auto-pilot in my 20’s, chasing career goals, and not dealing with major unresolved psychological issues, led me down the path of drugs in my 30s. I have lifelong physical and mental scars to show for it and I’m not that far removed from my last relapse. I have been to rehab once and I’m going to go again soon. I think the only reason I’ve managed to hang on by a thread is I have a son who looks up to me still and who I’ve vowed to care for him till my last breath.
Hang in here brother. Those of us who have seen the abyss, we gain a great appreciation for the beauty of life once we manage to come out the other side.
What did you do? Apart from the drugs, of course. How did you lose it all in 24 hours?
Hey friend, hope things continue to get better for you every day. One note: you said that you threw it all away in one day. But the fact that you’re here now, doing this AMA, living life and getting sober, means you didn’t throw it away. Your life is different now than what it would have been had things been different, true. I’m just saying don’t fall into the helplessness trap of believing that, since that part went wrong, nothing can ever go right again. And as far as rebuilding your life, drugs to crime to rehab to success, is a very common story in this world. Good luck to you.
Friend of mine has a similar story but came through the other side in a good way. There’s always hope. You can read about him here: https://www.f5project.org/our-story/
What are you doing to help heal your trauma?
Sorry you had to go through all this. However there is hope. It’s going to be a battle, but I know you can come out of the darkness. Put god first and keep your head up, everyone here is rooting for you.