My boyfriend’s mother is a sweet person. She loves to buy clothes on sale or get good bargains, to give to friends and relatives. The clothes are not goodwill stuff, clothes are nice, new with tags and brand names. She gives us large boxes of clothes for everyone, i.e. me, BF & kids.
Some clothes don’t fit me or not my style. Also, my BF doesn’t forward kid’s clothes to the kids timely. I have had the kid’s boxes in storage since 2018. Of course, the kids grow and clothes from 2018 do not fit anymore.
So BF will not do anything with the kid’s boxes. When we discuss it, BF gets upset because I want get rid of these clothes. BF wants to mail these boxes to other family members in other states. Which is ok with me, but it’s so expensive I won’t pay shipping. Shipping about $75 per box. Probably have 20 boxes at this point.
So am I an asshole because I want these clothes gone?
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My boyfriend’s mother is a sweet person. She loves to buy clothes on sale or get good bargains, to give to friends and relatives. The clothes are not goodwill stuff, clothes are nice, new with tags and brand names. She gives us large boxes of clothes for everyone, i.e. me, BF & kids.
Some clothes don’t fit me or not my style. Also, my BF doesn’t forward kid’s clothes to the kids timely. I have had the kid’s boxes in storage since 2018. Of course, the kids grow and clothes from 2018 do not fit anymore.
So BF will not do anything with the kid’s boxes. When we discuss it, BF gets upset because I want get rid of these clothes. BF wants to mail these boxes to other family members in other states. Which is ok with me, but it’s so expensive I won’t pay shipping. Shipping about $75 per box. Probably have 20 boxes at this point.
So am I an asshole because I want these clothes gone?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I want to get rid of clothes that don’t fit. So, I took some to Goodwill BF, furious.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
Oh good grief. Tell him if he wants to mail them, it’s coming out of his paycheck. Or he can give them back to his mom. This is absurd. They aren’t his clothes, right? They were gifts to you and the kids and are no longer being used. If any of them are handmade or family heirlooms, give them back to granny. Otherwise, donate them when he’s not home. He’s being absurd.
NTA
NtA
NTA! Give them to a local free group or charity. You’re 20 boxes deep!?! Time to start fresh and overhaul that space, then if he wants to ship to fam moving forward he can do it when the box is filled. It will not go to the garage/basement.
I would carefully check whether he has other hoarder traits.
You should strongly consider donating the clothes. I don’t know where you live but people are suffering everywhere. If the clothes are in boxes, in an attic, then just do it yourself. Keep a box or two to satisfy your partner than donate the rest. It may be passive aggressive but I wouldn’t tell him. I’ll bet he won’t notice for years…
If he’s cheap than sell the clothes but it’s really not worth the effort. Give it to people who really need it.
I hate how people keep so much crap they’ll NEVER use in a boxes in an attic or miles away from their home in storage facilities they never visit.
NTA he sounds like a hoarder lol
INFO: Do these other family members even want the clothes?
NTA but donate these clothes, there are plenty of people out here in real need.
I’m confused…..your boyfriend doesn’t forward the clothes timely? So, where are they? You say thry are sitting in thr garage, but does he keep them somewhere else until they are too small and then bring them home? Presumably they are going to your place where you live together.
NTA if you are in the US, he can get a cheaper rate on mail with https://www.pirateship.com/
However the best thing would be to donate them locally.
NTA but what size of boxes are these? I resell clothes and for a while I was selling boxes of clothes/inventory to a few friends and I used the bigger box available at the store and filled it to the brim as close to 50 lbs as possible (the most weight I could put without them being charged for overweight) and I usually paid better $35-$45 depending on where it was sent to. So I would say if he really wants to send them to family, let him, but also let him figure out shipping because there’s probably a way to ship for less (you can use pirateship which os free and offers discounts).