This all started yesterday. I got a coupon for a free spicy chicken sandwich from Wendy’s. I think to myself, “sure, why not” so I head to Wendy’s for lunch. Let me just say that I never eat spicy food. Like ever. It’s not my favorite. But this coupon must have inspired me, because in addition to my spicy chicken sandwich I also decided to get a 10 piece chicken nuggets with buffalo sauce. It was delicious, and all was fine and dandy. However, my biggest fuck up might have been that that was all I ate yesterday.
So cut to today. I’m a senior in high school. I was sitting in class, minding my own business, when suddenly I felt the beginning of a rumble in my stomach.
I thought to myself, “eh whatever, I can make it till the end of class.” So I ignored the feeling. But it was getting progressively more uncomfortable, painful, and noisy. The noises emanating from my stomach were equivalent to a jet engine in this dead silent classroom.
After twenty minutes, I can’t take it anymore. I ask the teacher for the hall pass, and before she can even answer I’m walking out the door. And of course this school was not designed with bathroom emergencies in mind, because it’s a good 1-2 minute walk to the nearest bathroom.
But I make it. I sit down and immediately it’s like mount Vesuvius. A geyser rockets out. The sound is deafening. The bathroom becomes a gas chamber. There are two other girls in the bathroom. I said nothing, but silently I prayed for their forgiveness; I can’t believe I subjected them to this literal shit show.
It was loud. So very loud. The girls laugh. They say “ewww” in typical school bathroom fashion. I don’t care. I am in too deep. My life is flashing before my eyes.
This keeps on going for 15 minutes straight. 15 minutes of hell. My stomach hurts worse than it ever has. My legs are shaking. I almost start crying. But finally it’s done.
I wait for the girls to leave. There is no way I’m walking out for them to see me after the biohazard I just caused. Once they’re gone, I wash my hands, gather any shred of dignity I had left, and walk back to class with a thousand yard stare.
All I can say is that I learned my lesson. Maybe spicy food is just not for me.
TL;DR: spicy food was the only thing I ate yesterday, and I paid for it dearly today with a close call and traumatizing experience in the bathroom.
Comments
Is this in America?
Last year we took the family to Cancun for Spring break, on the return home we were in Dallas for a layover and I had a similar bathroom experience. Being that i love spice and tequila, the entire process is very familiar to me so i knew what to expect.
I went into the nearest stall and heard a group of college aged boys enter soon after.
The usually cacophony of sound was made accompanied by some sighs of relief and grunts of agony. (Your normal Tuesday after Monday night hot wings and beer)
To my surprise, one of the young gentleman guffawed and asked, “You OK in there buddy?”
Without thought my response was “Just getting rid of Mexico!”
They left in an uproar and after I washed up I saw them at the food court telling their friends about their bathroom encounter.
TIFU by being human? OP don’t sweat it- if it makes you feel better it’s just part of life. It happens to the best of us. I’m the reason my workplace has a designated “shit” and “pee” bathroom after gassing out our sales floor lol.
I didn’t even do anything wrong. It’s just the smell didn’t seem to care about the shut door. I was just using the bathroom.
You get used to it. 😅