TIFUpdate: thinking we were alone

r/

Original post.

I hate Reddit. I hate my friends. But above all, I hate how fucking dumb I am. I thought I made up my mind when I decided to distance myself from the psycho mom, but then I got a decent amount of people on Reddit encouraging me to go back to the mom, despite how crazy she was, and sleep with her. My friends sided with every comment telling me to fuck the mom. I already sent the mom a message telling her that I didn’t feel a connection between us and made it as clear as possible that I wanted us to go our separate ways. She reacted to my message with a thousand puking face emojis before disregarding what I sent and randomly explaining that her mother was taking care of her baby for the day, so she had the apartment to herself if I wanted to come over at some point.

Long story short, I did end up going to her apartment yesterday afternoon. However, she was not the person who came to the door when I arrived. It was the mom’s mom. The younger mom, who kicked me out of her apartment a few days ago, appeared moments later and introduced me to her mother. She informed me that her mother didn’t speak English and invited me to her bedroom. I reminded her of the part where she said she had the apartment to herself. She said her mom’s babysitting so she did have the appointment to herself. I said her understanding of having the apartment to herself, versus my understanding, were two different things. She pulled me into her bedroom and said we should stop talking and have sex. While she was literally undressing me, I asked her if her mom was gonna be in the apartment the entire time. She said yes.

I asked if that was not weird to her at all. She said she was raised to be sex positive like the rest of her family, so there was nothing weird about having sex with her mom around. I said that was very progressive, which I supported from an objective point of view, but in that moment, I was anything but objective. All I could think of was the mom knowing that I was there to fuck her daughter while she’s busy babysitting. And we’re all under the same roof. I struggled to get it up because my mind was stuck on the weirdness of the situation. As soon as I explained that to the daughter, who was failing to get my flaccid dick to come out of hibernation, she left the room and spoke to her mom in the language that only the two of them understood. An argument ensued between mom and daughter. I had no idea what they were screaming, but I eventually got dressed and awkwardly said goodbye to both of them on my way to the front door.

The daughter said her stubborn mother refused to take the baby for a walk, even though she’s been made aware of my “situation.” I said it was best if I leave, which I did, despite the daughter trying to convince me to stay. I’m done. It’s over. I’m never going back. The end.

Tl:dr Against my better judgement, I went back to sleep with the crazy mom. However, I unexpectedly ended up with two crazy moms, who got into an argument over my failure to get it up, which resulted in me getting the fuck out of that apartment, and making this the second time I cockblocked myself with the same woman in the same week.

Comments

  1. caughtinatramp Avatar

    Dude, you gonna either end up with syphilis or a missing kidney. Don’t go back there.

  2. char11eg Avatar

    Hahahahahaha oh man this is gold, ‘TIFU thinking we were alone’ to ‘TIFU by knowing I wasn’t alone’ basically hahahaha

    But hey, maybe next week we’ll have a post from you going over for another attempt, only for her to have hired a cheerleading team to encourage you from outside the room? 😂

  3. CheersPal Avatar

    Dude that’s crazy…do it again

  4. ElvisJesus Avatar

    I mean considering reddits user base there’s going to be an inherent bias and there were people warning you about getting more involved further but both sides are valid, sex is just sex it’s how much you are able to separate yourself emotionally from that what matters.

    Frankly could’ve gone either way at that point but considering your second experience I think that would’ve thrown most people for a loop, especially if the mum knows the prime intention of your visit.

    Next time consider inviting the mum to make the situation less awkward /S

  5. trippletske34 Avatar

    Tbh bro do what makes you feel comfortable dont let nobody pressure you. She’s clearly just a sexually frustrated person and lowkey bro despite that frustration she’s wild asf for wanting to continue having sex despite having her child crying in the room. That’s not normal. You were honestly saving yourself.

  6. ShhhHesWatchingUs Avatar

    Now all you gotta do is go back and rail them both. What you got to lose?

  7. calib0y64 Avatar

    Dude. There’s so many other people out there. This is only going to harm you. Mentally, or otherwise. Seriously. Don’t listen to the gigachads or incels. Keep your dignity.

    Find a nice one that you’ll never experience this shit ever again with.

  8. Burning_Flags Avatar

    I totally believe all of this. I do. I am simple like that

  9. AllanfromWales1 Avatar

    I fucked my girlfriend multiple times at her mother’s place. Eventually we married, and are still married 35 years later. What’s the big deal?

  10. Usra1 Avatar

    youre not angry because of the mom, but because you failed to get it up. Now go ack and get it up.

  11. bernith Avatar

    I’m crying at the apartment to herself misunderstanding…. but spin the block again lol but this time really make sure she’ll have the apartment to herself

  12. BushDidSixtyNine11 Avatar

    You should totally go back again dude

  13. Astoran15 Avatar

    At least you still have your kidneys.

  14. I_make_switch_a_roos Avatar

    [ Removed by Reddit ]

  15. Shanobian Avatar

    Reading this made my brain hurt

  16. TrapAcid Avatar

    You should try again 🫡

  17. Lyzy04 Avatar

    Best shitshow of the week 😂😂

  18. vnv Avatar

    At this point you might as well go back

  19. Moefurion Avatar

    Just invite her to your place while the mom takes care of the kid (somewhere else lol). It just has to work on the third try

  20. devansh88 Avatar

    TBH i thought this was about extraterrestrial life.

  21. BadassBokoblinPsycho Avatar

    Idk why this piece of advice has gotten lost with time, but, NEVER STICK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY.

  22. xalazaar Avatar

    Karma farming bot. Cause I don’t wanna believe there is a man in this existance that’s this stupid. What the fuck was your end goal.

  23. FullMetalDuckButter Avatar

    One more time, and you’re a reddit hall of famer.

  24. focustom Avatar

    I say you pop a blue pill and try for a 3rd time. That pink taco may be the best of your life. Won’t know until you try!

  25. beneyh Avatar

    Nah come on for real? Third time lucky

  26. jadayne Avatar

    I really think you shoudl go back.

  27. KookyRipx Avatar

    Bro saw the red flags waving and was like

    „Arise, arise, riders of Rohan!

    Fell deeds awake, fire and slaughter!

    Spear shall be shaken, shield be splintered!

    A sword-day, a red day, ere the sun rises!

    Ride now, ride now, ride to Gondor!“

  28. Flowy_Mc_flow_Face Avatar

    Double the points and do 2 moms

  29. SpeedBlitzX Avatar

    I mentioned you should have ghosted them and I was getting replies from other folks saying ghosting someone like that is wrong apparently.

    Knowing my luck I’m gonna see some deja vu

  30. itsametheman Avatar

    Sir, you’re supposed to smash for a smash and dash. All you’re doing is dashing. Where smash?

  31. wetwalnut Avatar

    Tbh I think she invited the mom over to watch the baby so she could relax alone with you, but it’s obviously weird. Both sides were right

  32. dicemechanic Avatar

    well you know what you have to do now…

  33. iSawThatOnce Avatar

    See…I believed the first story. Now I think OP made the whole thing up 😂

    “You got greedy, Martin”. – S7E20 “Bart on the Road” – The Simpsons

  34. jr___9 Avatar

    Me personally, I’m performing for her and the audience—aka the mom, the crowd, whoever’s listening. But fr, if you got weirded out twice back-to-back, take that as a blessing in disguise. Ain’t nothing wrong with dipping out over sexual comfort or compatibility.

    P.S. I read the OG post. Yeah… she does sound crazy.

  35. EggShweg Avatar

    Sleep with both of them

  36. WillShakespeed Avatar

    This is gonna end on r/BestofRedditorUpdates in a year

  37. spamtll Avatar

    I’m sorry but this is too funny

    You should keep trying to fuck her just for the lols

    Do it for reddit

  38. MissysSir Avatar

    ‘I’m never going back’

    He’s definitely going back there lol

  39. Qthechrisman Avatar

    One more time, just to be sure, invite her to your place this time 👍

  40. dutchdoomsday Avatar

    Hey friends of this guy: upvote all the comments claiming he should go back and do the moms mom to establish dominance

  41. Zanarkand92 Avatar

    Mate those “friends” you have are not friends. Ignore them and just leave it. Last thing you need is her getting pregnant after claiming she took pills or poking holes in condoms as you look like her baby daddy. Cut your losses and stop 🤣

  42. xXZer0c0oLXx Avatar

    3 more moms and you’re a motherfucker Ace😎

  43. Pandalite Avatar

    What the eff is wrong with you? Everyone was telling you to AVOID her like the plague, that you dodged a bullet, and you decided to listen to the teenagers at the bottom of the thread who just like to watch drama unfold? The top 5 comments are all jokes and telling you to block her and move on!

  44. PsychoPotency Avatar

    You first mistake was to trust reddit‘s advice lmao. NTA, block the moms and marry your boyfriend.

  45. Sarungard Avatar

    What if you invited her over? That way you can make sure you are alone.

  46. marshallkrich Avatar

    Tifupdate update….OK, so I went back a third time, and the daughter and mom wanted a threesone….the catch was the dad was babysitting…..

  47. tacodecaca Avatar

    Now you just need to do it again for the plot.

  48. august-west55 Avatar

    Creative writing, not at its finest at all

  49. savage_Incarnate Avatar

    This is hilarious. Do it again!

  50. Zamv00 Avatar

    Go again man, third time will be better

  51. Area51Dweller-Help Avatar

    Date 3 is when the dad comes over. Try again. Keep us posted

  52. Practical_Delay_2158 Avatar

    I love reddit
    But uf you’re there for thr sex then go
    If not then block her and never walk past her apartment if you value ur sanity

  53. fuqdisshite Avatar

    my personal motto is “Try anything twice.”

    my wife and i have a motto, “Does it seem risky? If NO, proceed. If YES, proceed anyway.”

    it seems like you met all of the criteria for giving it a real shot.

    now, as has already been mentioned, SOME people use, “Third times a charm.”

    you see my two rules.

  54. supremeleader007 Avatar

    Go again and write again, only if u want to become a legend

  55. faultysynapse Avatar

    Sounds like you’re a little too uptight for MILFs.

  56. IamMooz Avatar

    Bro, get the mum to babysit again, and you two go back to yours.

    This time, make sure YOUR parents are home.

    Assert your dominance.

  57. Rabrab123 Avatar

    Ahh you softy

  58. Shadow2590 Avatar

    You have the chance to do the funniest thing 🤣

  59. IToldYouSo16 Avatar

    Bro, pick her up in your car, make sure there’s no baby in the backpack, and get a road bj. That way you can ensure noones under the same roof as you two.

  60. bugsyramone Avatar

    Look man, rule #3 of being a dude: Don’t stick your dick in crazy.

  61. TheBigRiver96 Avatar

    Why the fuck having sex in the same HOUSE, not room, HOUSE is such a big deal?

    Is this am American thing ?

  62. bjmattson Avatar

    That’s dodging bullets.

  63. AUTiger1978 Avatar

    I think OP needs to go back for a third time and get both moms involved. Once he is occupied with that, PLOT TWIST…………baby daddy joins in on the fun! Alls I’m sayin.