My best friend killing my son and fiancé 13 years ago. Haven’t felt a genuinely happy moment since then.
Edit: I have to genuinely thank everyone who responded with kind words and positive vibes. This has been an unexpected mood boost in a dark time. You are all greatly appreciated and have rekindled a feeling I thought I had lost: hope.
Marrying the first attractive woman that expressed interest in me. Follow your gut people and while physical looks are important, the slightly attractive person that nurtures your heart and safeguards your vulnerabilities will ALWAYS be better then the 8 or 9 out of 10 with a poor attitude.
When my second husband divorced me. It ruined me financially. I have lived the last 10 years by taking out loans and cashing out a pension. I’ve had crippling depression and anxiety. I wound up with serious health problems including breast cancer, fallen arches, and now osteoarthritis. I’m about to stop working because of the pain.
All because he wanted to drink, do drugs, and chase other women. He can’t handle his alcohol.
I tried it for the first time on Thanksgiving, and I was addicted by Christmas. I struggled with staying sober from the first time I went into rehab in March of the next year until I found suboxone. That period was a 25 year period and my addiction ruined everything that was important to me.
The good news is that I’ve been able to build back up so that now, at 60, I have everything I could have ever wanted and more. But there are a lot…a lot…of losses. Suboxone is a miracle drug.
My youngest sister took my home business and evicted me from the house the business bought. She put myself and 3 young children out on the streets. It took me 2 years to recover just the physical loss. Not sure I will ever recover my previous view of people. I don’t trust now.
My ex. I learned he was a serial child sexual predator and turned him into law enforcement. He also raped me and other women and was abusive. I’m afraid every day he or his family will come after me when they finish the investigation and hopefully arrest him for all the crimes he committed.
My ex wife. Married for 23 years, I loved her unconditionally, during our first lockdown ( U.K. ) I found out she was cheating. I walked then divorced her.
This has fucked me up so much, 5 years on I still can’t face getting into another relationship .
Not being allowed to go to school when I was younger, when you’re an adult getting any type of education requires a lot of money but you can’t make much money because you’re a middle school dropout
Car accident. I wasn’t left with physical injuries, so people just think I’m very strange. I’m just different now, and I dont remember who I was before it.
Late diagnosed autism 😢 I am 44 and my life finally makes sense but I want a redo knowing what I know now about how my brain works. How I was just raw dogging it through life.
It took a lot from me, except my life for now. It’s left me paralyzed and in pain every day. I put on a huge show for the people around me that I’m okay; I’m not okay.
I hate everything about my new life and I can’t tell anyone.
My father never once calling me pretty, always pointing out my flaws and expecting better of me when I wasn’t at my worse. Disrespecting every woman I’ve seen him with. Forcing me to meet and be happy with new women in his life while my mom struggled after they broke up. Learning from my mom he wanted her to abort me. Living my whole life thinking that I cant ask, expect or want anything from a man because I will always end up being disappointed. I can feel myself going from the binge and depressed eating extreme to going to not eating enough, forcing myself to count every calorie, weighing and measuring every day. I never thought I was beautiful and I don’t think I am now nor will I ever be. No matter what man comes into my life and expresses how attracted to me he is, I won’t ever believe it. I can’t trust men at all. I’ll never feel beautiful. I’ll never feel like I’m good enough.
When I (41m) was 10, I was shot in my right eye with a bb gun. I have had many surgeries and it still looks like I’m opening that eye underwater and I have really bad double vision 24/7. On top of this, it had gone lazy, but I have had a surgery to have it straightened out again. Doesn’t matter though. My self confidence has been wrecked and I fear every day that something will happen to my “good” eye and I’ll go blind. I especially fear that I could just get an eyelash in the “good” eye or something when I’m driving……
Parental abuse. It ruined my childhood, fucked my mental health and made me suicidal. Now I’m in my late 20s, I still dread building relationships. The fear of being abused never goes away.
Mother, father, drugs, cigarettes, cannabis, lack of an education to manage my finances, doom scrolling and undiagnosed mental health issues. Something tells me there all related.
Broke up with my girlfriend and moved country.
Wasn’t anything to do with her, I just got it in my head that I wasn’t doing my 20s right if I didn’t leave the country.
Worst decision I ever made.
I just spent the whole time missing her and she was so hurt that even when I cut it short and came back she didn’t want to get back together.
That was 10 years ago.
I still miss her every day.
Admittedly, there is a certain kind of freedom that comes with having nothing to lose and I’ve done fairly well for myself as a result of that attitude to life.
But I’d trade it all in to go back to the day I got on that plane and turn around.
Before I joined, I was a straight A college student, on track to graduate with a double major in political science and communication with a minor in environmental science. I was in a sorority, in charge of Model UN for the state, a president of the democratic organization, and I volunteered in a ton of organizations. I had aspirations of running for political office and attending law school, I thought it would be smart to get some military experience.
Basic training and AIT really broke me down and made it difficult for me to concentrate. I had a hard time focusing and obeying any “civilian” authority. My self worth became dependent on physical fitness and weight. I started failing classes and ended up dropping out. My college roommate was killed in Afghanistan and over the next few years I would attend 21 funerals.
Chronic pain. Never, never take your health for granted. You don’t realize how important it is until it’s gone, and it can happen to anyone. That and having a shitty family is a deadly combination.
There is no greater high than satisfying your own unrealistic expections. Amphetamines turn you into a machine and I was so happy to finally enjoy my full potential, to see in myself what everyone else did.
So I didn’t stop, I couldn’t stop. I always needed more because I had to be better and that’s what I was addicted to.
At the height of my addiction, I was popping pills 3 times a day just to function and I was buying in bulk, 100-200 pills at 2 bucks each. I was hallucinating from lack of sleep, my psychotic disorder went into overdrive, I was getting paranoid and, to make matters worse, COVID started.
It all came to a head when I finally had a meltdown, came to in an ambulance wearing only my pajamas and the police asking me questions about my mental state (they asked me if I had suicidal thoughts and I just laughed hysterically, which is a very normal reaction to that question).
It took me a few months to kick it because I still had a stash (yeah yeah, should’ve thrown it away, it’s not that easy when you’re in the thick of it). Next November will mark 5 years since I snorted a line from the bottom of the baggie in my stash, the last time I took amphetamine.
I still miss that high every day. I miss feeling proud of my work, I miss feeling smart and capable, I miss seeing what my friends, my teachers and my parents saw in me. I’ve never recovered from knowing how that felt and I don’t know if I ever will. The withdrawals were pretty bad, but it’s honestly not comparable to the pain of disappointment I now feel practically daily.
That said, I don’t miss it enough to forget the cost it came with. I’ve done a lot of drugs in my life and I don’t think my mind can take much more.
Chronic migraines. Developed PTSD going to hospitals, experience excruciating pain most people don’t understand, lost my job, lost my health insurance, can’t pay for my meds, and have been rejected for disability. Life is just pain now. I guess the government wants me to keep quiet and die. The lack of healthcare in the US is a silent culling of the less fortunate.
Bad friend, leading to low self esteem/ confidence. You realise the years you wasted with people who didn’t care for you. Which could have been spent forming relationships with people who do give a s**t.
i quite literally can not leave my house. there is nothing i am able to do without worry. you don’t think about how nice it is to be able to be a side character nobody will remember tomorrow until you can’t anymore.
it’s just something you can never get out of, and i wish i had never come this far.
it’s like having constant weight pushing you down from everyone else’s expectations while you’re stuck in a zoo so they can watch.
when your face is a brand you are no longer a person.
not looking after my teeth when i was younger. countless fillings, two root canals, so much pain and thousands of dollars later, i’m not even 20. to any 12-17 year olds with braces out there, doesn’t matter if it’s the only thing you do daily, BRUSH YOUR TEETH AND DO IT PROPERLY!
I changed careers to work for the federal government. DOGE laid me off and my career is in shambles. The job market is brutal and I have to start over as my whole industry is gone.
I left the workforce to become a SAHM. I had worked full time while raising my first child, but when he turned 14, I had my second. After struggling with postpartum depression and a partner who refused to share any of the responsibility, I made the decision to stay home. I simply could not work full time and solely care for both of my kids who were in two different stages, take care of all domestic responsibilities in the frame of mind I was in. Zero support. I absolutely adore my sons and cherished the chance to be there for my youngest, I just wish I wasn’t so impulsive.
Now, 15 years later, at 50 years old, I’m struggling. The isolation has made my social anxiety almost unbearable. I can’t find a job that would allow me to truly support myself and my kids if I ever needed to. I have no friends. Somewhere along the way, I set the tone for being a submissive doormat. I took on everything, trying to “earn my keep” out of guilt for not working, and in doing so, I’ve created a monster.
I was once a fiercely independent single mother to my oldest and I was so proud of how I navigated life with the cards I was dealt. Now, I’m ashamed that my oldest has to see me like this and this is all my youngest knows. I feel completely lost.
Being bullied and sexually abused as a child by said bully. The self-hatred and self-destructive behavior almost ruined my life until I went to therapy. Now I’m a social worker and therapist myself helping to protect and heal others who went through the same thing.
Losing my mother as a teen girl. I remember how blank I felt. What was even the point of living?! I literally push the feelings out of my mind. I ride past her grave almost everyday. Along with two of my siblings. 😔
Moving to Canada. I became an alcoholic, have been struggling with money the entire 8 years I’ve lived here, gained 30kg, lost my identity, worsened my mental health, developed agoraphobia, and missed out on every opportunity in life. I’ve only stayed as long as I have because I was in a relationship with someone who held me back and had no desire to leave the country. I’m finally free of him and am planning to get tf outta this frozen hellscape asap.
Chronic illness. I’m in my early 20s, and two years ago, I was just a regular college student. Partying, dating and planning for the future. I was really healthy too. Now I’m in pain all the time, basic tasks make me feel like I’ve just ran a marathon. I can’t sleep, I’m allergic to almost everything, so I can’t eat most foods (only about 15 ingredients) and I can’t really go outside. My skin looks awful, my hair is thinning, I’ve lost so much weight I look anorexic. I’m finishing college, but for the rest of my life, the majority of every paycheck will be spent on medical bills and medicine. I’m still mourning the life I’ve envisioned for myself and I think I’ll never fully accept what happened to me. Don’t take your health for granted. The biggest cause of my health issues, besides genetics, was constant stress and overworking myself.
Heath. My own healthcare calamity wiped out a decades worth of higher education, my popularity as a professor, and on the eve of my tenure I was fired for being too sick and put on medical leave. They told me to work it out with the union, and I didn’t realize it I was working it out with the union, I couldn’t work it out with lawyers. They fired me as soon as I requested mild accommodations as we are allowed to do in the states due to the ADA–Americans with Disabilities Act. My department said neither yes or no. They simply locked me out of my classroom, said they gave me paid medical leave and as soon as I was forced to leave campus because they wanted ‘the old (me) back’ I got the note that I was fired. I didn’t understand that medical leave wasn’t for getting better ..it was for a new job. It wasn’t for appealing the decision ..it was searching for a new job and moving. They used FMLA to get me off campus, give me a one year paid leave to find another job and move away. I thought we were following the law, so I was using it to try and get better and that my labor union would of course reinstate me. After all, my Reasonable Accommodations had never been addressed. Truthfully, my colleagues did not want a temporarily sick and/or disabled colleague. When they locked me out of my classes and forced me on FMLA against my wishes, my courses were assigned top other faculty. They were furious. Of course they didn’t want me back. I was the idiot. So, getting one orthopedic surgery at 33 (it went wrong) was a mistake. Getting another orthopedic surgery a year later at 34 was a mistake. (It went wrong. I was close to tenure.) The failed surgeries led to the diagnosis of a rare congenital disease I didn’t know I had, but have been struggling with since. Due to mobility issues and my workplace not letting me back, I was never able to clean out my office. I lost thousands in books and artwork. I lost framed photos and mementos from students. I lost all my original publications. No one would write me a positive letter, despite being the department golden child until I got sick. Ten years later, I am on disability and cannot afford to be well enough to teach. I was a promising teacher, published author, and loved/trusted my colleagues too much. I never imagined they would deny tenure when I had exceeded all requirements many years prior–my advisor admitted to this in writing. By the time I was well enough to involve the law, the statute of limitations ran out. Now, I spent an unthinkable amount of money on student loans, got my PhD, got my tenure track job, and did beautifully for 6 out of 7 years. By year 7 my health and mobility were shot. I was always pushed to work harder. After they fired me, they used me as a tale for what happens when you don’t maintain a work life balance: failure. Ironically, I fought for this when I fought for just getting the days off for surgeries and PT and it was not good. I could tell I went from Golden Child to scapegoat overnight, but couldn’t believe a school that called us a ‘family’ would do this. They did. They were that kind of family. Now, I have now future in teaching or writing. I cannot pay back my loans. I am sicker. I have no money, and my partner was diagnosed with cancer in 2023. We are trying to save her on my disability. My life was ruined by the collapse of my own health, or else I would have a job and be someone in this world. My spouse would get better care. We’d have a safer, cleaner option for housing. We’d be treated with respect. My relationship with my family would not have fractured. I have become the greatest disappointment to myself and anyone who ever believed in me from the start, and I never bounced back. I feel too sick and weak to do so, and now I am a caregiver. I was so proud, but now I will die in shame. Sorry for the bleak, but I learned how to hate myself like this. They taught me everything about what I am worth, and they were right.
21 years old. Almost 22: I landed my dream job, I’d just gotten married. I’d moved in with the love of my life. I’d showed signs of what’s to come, since I was 4, but this was a major blowout.
Psychotic break three months into marital bliss.
Have to quit my current job. Have to resign from my dream job. Couldn’t handle driving anymore. Couldn’t leave my house without a chaperone. Severely agoraphobic. Insanely paranoid. Seeing, hearing, smelling, feeling, tasting things that weren’t there. Constant panic attacks.
Later diagnosed: Schizophrenia/Schizoaffective Disorder Depressive Type.
I’m 7 years into treatment and doing much better but holy hell that was bad.
Comments
My last relationship
I lost my wordle streak
being born
A manic episode that led to psychosis
Inflation and tariffs
Buying one hundred dollars of groceries feels like you’re spending 25 dollars nowadays.
TikTok
alpraz
Social media. Wasted a lot of time, ruined my mental health, still addicted. I’m trying to transition to books and magazines only to get informed.
Very abusive father , the “sets you on fire” kind
Not being two faced, shady, flaky, and all around shitty person like the majority of the population.
Be a decent person and you get treated like dog shit and blamed for it, is apparently the new standard these days.
Being autistic with schizophrenia
Pregnancy. It literally destroyed my health.
Marrying the wrong woman.
Working
When my father passed away
Seeing my partner get hit by a car while he guided me reversing his truck.
I got diagnosed with PTSD around 6 months afterwards but i haven’t been able to pull myself out of the rut since it happened.
Luckily he survived with some serious injuries but that image doesn’t leave my head.
That one job I thought was my dream, but turned out to be my nightmare.
Growing up in a shit family.
Trusting the wrong person with too much of my heart. Some lessons come wrapped in heartbreak.
Best friend dying, in the midst of a very bad breakup.
My 2nd marriage! I wasted 17 years with that narcissist
Depression
My best friend killing my son and fiancé 13 years ago. Haven’t felt a genuinely happy moment since then.
Edit: I have to genuinely thank everyone who responded with kind words and positive vibes. This has been an unexpected mood boost in a dark time. You are all greatly appreciated and have rekindled a feeling I thought I had lost: hope.
Existing
Marrying the first attractive woman that expressed interest in me. Follow your gut people and while physical looks are important, the slightly attractive person that nurtures your heart and safeguards your vulnerabilities will ALWAYS be better then the 8 or 9 out of 10 with a poor attitude.
When my second husband divorced me. It ruined me financially. I have lived the last 10 years by taking out loans and cashing out a pension. I’ve had crippling depression and anxiety. I wound up with serious health problems including breast cancer, fallen arches, and now osteoarthritis. I’m about to stop working because of the pain.
All because he wanted to drink, do drugs, and chase other women. He can’t handle his alcohol.
This may sound trivial… my perfectionism. I wish I could simply just be ok with anything without having to pick it apart.
My narc mother and ex husband.
Heroin.
I tried it for the first time on Thanksgiving, and I was addicted by Christmas. I struggled with staying sober from the first time I went into rehab in March of the next year until I found suboxone. That period was a 25 year period and my addiction ruined everything that was important to me.
The good news is that I’ve been able to build back up so that now, at 60, I have everything I could have ever wanted and more. But there are a lot…a lot…of losses. Suboxone is a miracle drug.
My youngest sister took my home business and evicted me from the house the business bought. She put myself and 3 young children out on the streets. It took me 2 years to recover just the physical loss. Not sure I will ever recover my previous view of people. I don’t trust now.
A “friend” calling me “ugly, retard, and poor” when I was very young. It shaped my self esteem for years to come.
My ex. I learned he was a serial child sexual predator and turned him into law enforcement. He also raped me and other women and was abusive. I’m afraid every day he or his family will come after me when they finish the investigation and hopefully arrest him for all the crimes he committed.
Misdiagnosed Sleep Apnea.
Now that it’s correctly identified and treated its a whole other life. I’m no longer chronically tired.
Cancer really threw a wrench in things. Took my amazing wife. Rebuilding is hard.
My ex wife. Married for 23 years, I loved her unconditionally, during our first lockdown ( U.K. ) I found out she was cheating. I walked then divorced her.
This has fucked me up so much, 5 years on I still can’t face getting into another relationship .
Being rpd and the police covering it!
Not being allowed to go to school when I was younger, when you’re an adult getting any type of education requires a lot of money but you can’t make much money because you’re a middle school dropout
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Losing my Dad to suicide.
Shyness. So many lost opportunities.
Car accident. I wasn’t left with physical injuries, so people just think I’m very strange. I’m just different now, and I dont remember who I was before it.
Late diagnosed autism 😢 I am 44 and my life finally makes sense but I want a redo knowing what I know now about how my brain works. How I was just raw dogging it through life.
Nerve damage from dental work
Being tortured as a kid
My dad died. My mom changed. She was my best friend and I don’t even feel like I know her anymore. It’s been years… I don’t think she’s coming back
Brain cancer.
It took a lot from me, except my life for now. It’s left me paralyzed and in pain every day. I put on a huge show for the people around me that I’m okay; I’m not okay.
I hate everything about my new life and I can’t tell anyone.
Myself
My parents. Malignant narcissistic assholes.
My wife. Cheated and broke my heart after trying to blame me for everything,
Married the wrong person.
BEING SO NAIVE IN MY YOUNGER YEARS
My ex
My father never once calling me pretty, always pointing out my flaws and expecting better of me when I wasn’t at my worse. Disrespecting every woman I’ve seen him with. Forcing me to meet and be happy with new women in his life while my mom struggled after they broke up. Learning from my mom he wanted her to abort me. Living my whole life thinking that I cant ask, expect or want anything from a man because I will always end up being disappointed. I can feel myself going from the binge and depressed eating extreme to going to not eating enough, forcing myself to count every calorie, weighing and measuring every day. I never thought I was beautiful and I don’t think I am now nor will I ever be. No matter what man comes into my life and expresses how attracted to me he is, I won’t ever believe it. I can’t trust men at all. I’ll never feel beautiful. I’ll never feel like I’m good enough.
mom
My mother
Experiencing the high of drugs and realizing nothing will compare but I can never do the drugs again.
Procrastination
Menopause. Not that I want any more kids, it is just every emotional and physical thing that came with it. I miss my old self.
When I (41m) was 10, I was shot in my right eye with a bb gun. I have had many surgeries and it still looks like I’m opening that eye underwater and I have really bad double vision 24/7. On top of this, it had gone lazy, but I have had a surgery to have it straightened out again. Doesn’t matter though. My self confidence has been wrecked and I fear every day that something will happen to my “good” eye and I’ll go blind. I especially fear that I could just get an eyelash in the “good” eye or something when I’m driving……
Kids
Parental abuse. It ruined my childhood, fucked my mental health and made me suicidal. Now I’m in my late 20s, I still dread building relationships. The fear of being abused never goes away.
Mother, father, drugs, cigarettes, cannabis, lack of an education to manage my finances, doom scrolling and undiagnosed mental health issues. Something tells me there all related.
I ruined myself
Trusting people who’ve proven themselves untrustworthy.
Broke up with my girlfriend and moved country.
Wasn’t anything to do with her, I just got it in my head that I wasn’t doing my 20s right if I didn’t leave the country.
Worst decision I ever made.
I just spent the whole time missing her and she was so hurt that even when I cut it short and came back she didn’t want to get back together.
That was 10 years ago.
I still miss her every day.
Admittedly, there is a certain kind of freedom that comes with having nothing to lose and I’ve done fairly well for myself as a result of that attitude to life.
But I’d trade it all in to go back to the day I got on that plane and turn around.
Alcohol …..happy & sober for 10+yrs now💗
Joining the Army.
Before I joined, I was a straight A college student, on track to graduate with a double major in political science and communication with a minor in environmental science. I was in a sorority, in charge of Model UN for the state, a president of the democratic organization, and I volunteered in a ton of organizations. I had aspirations of running for political office and attending law school, I thought it would be smart to get some military experience.
Basic training and AIT really broke me down and made it difficult for me to concentrate. I had a hard time focusing and obeying any “civilian” authority. My self worth became dependent on physical fitness and weight. I started failing classes and ended up dropping out. My college roommate was killed in Afghanistan and over the next few years I would attend 21 funerals.
Nothing, I’ve bounced back from everything
..so far, haha
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Porn almost ruined me, but I escaped with my soul intact.
Anger
My mom wanted a clone, not a kid
I was abused my whole life and still am I dont know how to get out of survival mode everyone is a threat including family…
Insecurity, I never felt like I could do anything or was good enough. it kept me from following my dreams.
Complaining about my tyrant boss, to her boss.
Autism.
My list is too long
undiagnosed autism and adhd for way too long
Long covid
Men. My dad, ex-bfs.
Also the wrong job. All of the above destroyed my mental and physical health.
Bulimia & not going to the dentist bc of the shame
Chronic pain. Never, never take your health for granted. You don’t realize how important it is until it’s gone, and it can happen to anyone. That and having a shitty family is a deadly combination.
Amphetamines
There is no greater high than satisfying your own unrealistic expections. Amphetamines turn you into a machine and I was so happy to finally enjoy my full potential, to see in myself what everyone else did.
So I didn’t stop, I couldn’t stop. I always needed more because I had to be better and that’s what I was addicted to.
At the height of my addiction, I was popping pills 3 times a day just to function and I was buying in bulk, 100-200 pills at 2 bucks each. I was hallucinating from lack of sleep, my psychotic disorder went into overdrive, I was getting paranoid and, to make matters worse, COVID started.
It all came to a head when I finally had a meltdown, came to in an ambulance wearing only my pajamas and the police asking me questions about my mental state (they asked me if I had suicidal thoughts and I just laughed hysterically, which is a very normal reaction to that question).
It took me a few months to kick it because I still had a stash (yeah yeah, should’ve thrown it away, it’s not that easy when you’re in the thick of it). Next November will mark 5 years since I snorted a line from the bottom of the baggie in my stash, the last time I took amphetamine.
I still miss that high every day. I miss feeling proud of my work, I miss feeling smart and capable, I miss seeing what my friends, my teachers and my parents saw in me. I’ve never recovered from knowing how that felt and I don’t know if I ever will. The withdrawals were pretty bad, but it’s honestly not comparable to the pain of disappointment I now feel practically daily.
That said, I don’t miss it enough to forget the cost it came with. I’ve done a lot of drugs in my life and I don’t think my mind can take much more.
I was going to say alcohol
But it was actually my willpower to abstain from alcohol…..
Been sober for almost 6 years though – so there’s that 😀
A medical emergency while uninsured post college, 5 days before starting a new job with insurance
Chronic migraines. Developed PTSD going to hospitals, experience excruciating pain most people don’t understand, lost my job, lost my health insurance, can’t pay for my meds, and have been rejected for disability. Life is just pain now. I guess the government wants me to keep quiet and die. The lack of healthcare in the US is a silent culling of the less fortunate.
Bad friend, leading to low self esteem/ confidence. You realise the years you wasted with people who didn’t care for you. Which could have been spent forming relationships with people who do give a s**t.
Being abused from the ages of 5-13. Completely messed a lot of things up.
My family
childhood trauma
Being diagnosed with multiple mental illness and emotional issues…at 13
Being diagnosed with a chronic pain disorder at 12.
Being raped at age 12 for six months; losing my house in 2010; losing adult child to death. Still working at 67 and what is next.
Drugs. Dont do drugs
Getting fat. I’m down 30 lbs and working on it.
fame.
i quite literally can not leave my house. there is nothing i am able to do without worry. you don’t think about how nice it is to be able to be a side character nobody will remember tomorrow until you can’t anymore.
it’s just something you can never get out of, and i wish i had never come this far.
it’s like having constant weight pushing you down from everyone else’s expectations while you’re stuck in a zoo so they can watch.
when your face is a brand you are no longer a person.
not looking after my teeth when i was younger. countless fillings, two root canals, so much pain and thousands of dollars later, i’m not even 20. to any 12-17 year olds with braces out there, doesn’t matter if it’s the only thing you do daily, BRUSH YOUR TEETH AND DO IT PROPERLY!
The election of Donald Trump.
I changed careers to work for the federal government. DOGE laid me off and my career is in shambles. The job market is brutal and I have to start over as my whole industry is gone.
I’m unemployed and financially devastated.
I left the workforce to become a SAHM. I had worked full time while raising my first child, but when he turned 14, I had my second. After struggling with postpartum depression and a partner who refused to share any of the responsibility, I made the decision to stay home. I simply could not work full time and solely care for both of my kids who were in two different stages, take care of all domestic responsibilities in the frame of mind I was in. Zero support. I absolutely adore my sons and cherished the chance to be there for my youngest, I just wish I wasn’t so impulsive.
Now, 15 years later, at 50 years old, I’m struggling. The isolation has made my social anxiety almost unbearable. I can’t find a job that would allow me to truly support myself and my kids if I ever needed to. I have no friends. Somewhere along the way, I set the tone for being a submissive doormat. I took on everything, trying to “earn my keep” out of guilt for not working, and in doing so, I’ve created a monster.
I was once a fiercely independent single mother to my oldest and I was so proud of how I navigated life with the cards I was dealt. Now, I’m ashamed that my oldest has to see me like this and this is all my youngest knows. I feel completely lost.
Existential OCD
ocd. just having it. literal nightmare
being raised a Jehovah’s Witness
Not getting away from my family sooner
Being bullied and sexually abused as a child by said bully. The self-hatred and self-destructive behavior almost ruined my life until I went to therapy. Now I’m a social worker and therapist myself helping to protect and heal others who went through the same thing.
Taking ketamine once for a CPTSD treatment. It gave me schizophrenia.
My mom passed away in october 2022 when I was 17, and my 6 year old husky had to be put down due to bladder cancer in march 2024.
My dad molesting me when I was a kid
My father. To lessor extent, my mother.
Losing my mother as a teen girl. I remember how blank I felt. What was even the point of living?! I literally push the feelings out of my mind. I ride past her grave almost everyday. Along with two of my siblings. 😔
Moving to Canada. I became an alcoholic, have been struggling with money the entire 8 years I’ve lived here, gained 30kg, lost my identity, worsened my mental health, developed agoraphobia, and missed out on every opportunity in life. I’ve only stayed as long as I have because I was in a relationship with someone who held me back and had no desire to leave the country. I’m finally free of him and am planning to get tf outta this frozen hellscape asap.
Chronic illness. I’m in my early 20s, and two years ago, I was just a regular college student. Partying, dating and planning for the future. I was really healthy too. Now I’m in pain all the time, basic tasks make me feel like I’ve just ran a marathon. I can’t sleep, I’m allergic to almost everything, so I can’t eat most foods (only about 15 ingredients) and I can’t really go outside. My skin looks awful, my hair is thinning, I’ve lost so much weight I look anorexic. I’m finishing college, but for the rest of my life, the majority of every paycheck will be spent on medical bills and medicine. I’m still mourning the life I’ve envisioned for myself and I think I’ll never fully accept what happened to me. Don’t take your health for granted. The biggest cause of my health issues, besides genetics, was constant stress and overworking myself.
Heath. My own healthcare calamity wiped out a decades worth of higher education, my popularity as a professor, and on the eve of my tenure I was fired for being too sick and put on medical leave. They told me to work it out with the union, and I didn’t realize it I was working it out with the union, I couldn’t work it out with lawyers. They fired me as soon as I requested mild accommodations as we are allowed to do in the states due to the ADA–Americans with Disabilities Act. My department said neither yes or no. They simply locked me out of my classroom, said they gave me paid medical leave and as soon as I was forced to leave campus because they wanted ‘the old (me) back’ I got the note that I was fired. I didn’t understand that medical leave wasn’t for getting better ..it was for a new job. It wasn’t for appealing the decision ..it was searching for a new job and moving. They used FMLA to get me off campus, give me a one year paid leave to find another job and move away. I thought we were following the law, so I was using it to try and get better and that my labor union would of course reinstate me. After all, my Reasonable Accommodations had never been addressed. Truthfully, my colleagues did not want a temporarily sick and/or disabled colleague. When they locked me out of my classes and forced me on FMLA against my wishes, my courses were assigned top other faculty. They were furious. Of course they didn’t want me back. I was the idiot. So, getting one orthopedic surgery at 33 (it went wrong) was a mistake. Getting another orthopedic surgery a year later at 34 was a mistake. (It went wrong. I was close to tenure.) The failed surgeries led to the diagnosis of a rare congenital disease I didn’t know I had, but have been struggling with since. Due to mobility issues and my workplace not letting me back, I was never able to clean out my office. I lost thousands in books and artwork. I lost framed photos and mementos from students. I lost all my original publications. No one would write me a positive letter, despite being the department golden child until I got sick. Ten years later, I am on disability and cannot afford to be well enough to teach. I was a promising teacher, published author, and loved/trusted my colleagues too much. I never imagined they would deny tenure when I had exceeded all requirements many years prior–my advisor admitted to this in writing. By the time I was well enough to involve the law, the statute of limitations ran out. Now, I spent an unthinkable amount of money on student loans, got my PhD, got my tenure track job, and did beautifully for 6 out of 7 years. By year 7 my health and mobility were shot. I was always pushed to work harder. After they fired me, they used me as a tale for what happens when you don’t maintain a work life balance: failure. Ironically, I fought for this when I fought for just getting the days off for surgeries and PT and it was not good. I could tell I went from Golden Child to scapegoat overnight, but couldn’t believe a school that called us a ‘family’ would do this. They did. They were that kind of family. Now, I have now future in teaching or writing. I cannot pay back my loans. I am sicker. I have no money, and my partner was diagnosed with cancer in 2023. We are trying to save her on my disability. My life was ruined by the collapse of my own health, or else I would have a job and be someone in this world. My spouse would get better care. We’d have a safer, cleaner option for housing. We’d be treated with respect. My relationship with my family would not have fractured. I have become the greatest disappointment to myself and anyone who ever believed in me from the start, and I never bounced back. I feel too sick and weak to do so, and now I am a caregiver. I was so proud, but now I will die in shame. Sorry for the bleak, but I learned how to hate myself like this. They taught me everything about what I am worth, and they were right.
21 years old. Almost 22: I landed my dream job, I’d just gotten married. I’d moved in with the love of my life. I’d showed signs of what’s to come, since I was 4, but this was a major blowout.
Psychotic break three months into marital bliss.
Have to quit my current job. Have to resign from my dream job. Couldn’t handle driving anymore. Couldn’t leave my house without a chaperone. Severely agoraphobic. Insanely paranoid. Seeing, hearing, smelling, feeling, tasting things that weren’t there. Constant panic attacks.
Later diagnosed: Schizophrenia/Schizoaffective Disorder Depressive Type.
I’m 7 years into treatment and doing much better but holy hell that was bad.