In the middle of my “gaming” midlife crisis and I don’t know what’s wrong with me but maybe this sub can help?
I’ve tried Witcher 3, Skyrim, cyberpunk, Diablo 4, mass effect, Spiderman, Hell divers, Elden Ring, destiny etc etc
All of them were super boring, grindfests. Do this quest, do that quest, fuck that!
The only games I truly liked and played hours and hours of were star dew valley, pentiment, world of Warcraft (played this off and on for almost 20 years, was the game I loved the most ), knockout city, civilization 6 and disco elysium. I used to love Pokémon when I was younger
I also liked GTA but I never did the quests, I only liked driving around and fuckin shit up. My friends look at me weird when I say this .
I’ve been facing this issue for almost the past decade.
I just can’t play a video game for more than 10-15 minutes, besides the few exceptions I mentioned.
And I don’t know what’s wrong with me. All my friends play video games and I feel like I’m missing out and I’m not well rounded like them.
I’m a software engineer who doesn’t like video games… what? That makes no sense (so it seems to me lol).
I feel like I suck at video games which makes me not want to play them anyways. I also feel like I’m missing out on critical thinking skills because I’m not playing them. My friends are for sure smarter than me
But apart of me wants to just say fuck it and stop forcing video games if I don’t enjoy them…
Like shit, I’d rather read books, watch educational YouTube videos, watch movies/tv shows, and instead of gaming, replace that shit with eating healthy and lifting weights.
Why the fuck would I obsess over microtransactions and optimizing a virtual character instead of optimizing my life?
I’m just pissed and angry that I played the most popular games and none of them could keep my attention besides a select few.
But my problem is that I keep trying to get back up and force gaming into my life.
I’m just here to vent… I don’t know wtf is wrong with me! I’m weird for not liking video games, or not liking them as much as I used to.
I don’t know how my friends who are in their 30s still keep up in the gaming world and love it so much.
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Find a new hobby and friends
Like most people.. sounds as though you are growing out of them.
Like most things in life as you age you notice the machinations of how things work and they lose their appeal. Like kids jumping in puddles loses its appeal. I wish we could be as easily amused like when we were kids!
I read about games now and haven’t actually played one for over a decade. I like the idea of them more than playing them! Kids, business, wife, household.. no way I have time for something so pointless. Although watching sport is pointless and I do that a lot!
Allot of gamers are suffering in silence waiting for gta6. Yea there’s lots complaining but even more that are impatiently waiting for more news. That should reignite the passion
I gone through YEARS where I didn’t play a single game. Then get addicted to one i hear about. This is normal.
Sounds like you need to check out Kingdom Come: Deliverence and Kingdom Come: Deliverence II
I dunno man, the older I get the less I feel like playing games. There’s only a couple that seem to hold my attention, and I kind of think that part of it is just getting pickier.
I dont hang out with the same crowd I used to. I also don’t do the same stuff I used to. Life and our experiences change us, we grow, and we seek novel experiences.
Anyway, sounds like you might be wanting to explore some new hobbies
Welcome – I’ve been here for years.
I think it’s a couple things. We have limited time to live – filling that with friends, family, and personal betterment feels good now.
As a young person, time feels infinite. It’s impossible to waste.
Now…time feels finite and precious. Wasting it feels bad.
Also – tastes change. Maybe you didn’t like vegetables as a kid. I fucking love me some brussels sprouts now.
Go listen to your favorite album from 2008. Do you really still love it once the nostalgia fades away?
It’s okay to no longer enjoy gaming the same way. We had a good run.
I switched to mobile gaming. Now I drink beer on the weekends with other middle aged men I’ll never meet and play FPSs. Mostly Mech Arena nowadays. Might be worth a shot?
Look for something that’s not AAA.
It’s fine to play games on your own terms to enjoy them. It’s no one else’s concern if you skip missions or play on easy modes, or play the same few games over and over.
I tend to rotate the same half dozen games to play through. I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve completed Wolfenstein and Alien Isolation.
What about trying a nostalgic game from your childhood? I grew up with sega and playstation 1. When I have some downtime, I like the simplicity of the older games and the nostalgia of them.
I would recommend trying another hobby. If you don’t find something that suits then try Indie games.
I would wholeheartedly recommend Clair Obscur Expedition 33 at the moment. A fantastic work of art.
It’s normal to fall in and out of gaming, I think. I recently got back into it after a decade off, due to kids and life getting in the way. I now have 4 kids and when they’ve all gone to bed I enjoy gaming. Single player, I like Control, FarCry series. Co-op with friends I like swarm shooters e.g. L4D, Killing Floor, Darktide, WWZ.
Totally, totally normal. I say this as someone for whom gaming has been a central element for most of my life. = Take a break! Do something else. Explore a new hobby. As someone who cycles through hobbies, a break is what brings new life into the thing you love. Don’t forget, tastes change, too. Might be that the game you like isn’t for you anymore, or maybe gaming in general needs to take a back seat to another hobby for a bit. It’s all good. Don’t beat yourself up.
Do you think most 42 year olds care if they’d find computer games exciting or not? It’s about perspective sometimes. Go find a new hobby for at bit, at least until GTA6 comes out.
Fucking oblivion remaster bro
I hear you. The games now are either online time wasters where you need to check in daily for hours, movie like where you only need to press a button sometimes or games where you need to remember dozens of button combos to do stuff.
The only games I am enjoying now are survival but there are only that many good ones, I never replay, need novelty.
Just turned 30 in Feb of 2025. This has been me off and on for the last year or so. I got super into Battlefield 3 at the tail end of last year and it took me into January of this year, but I grew out of it. Ever since, I have not really been able to play games much at all. I’ll hop on my PC or PS5 wanting to game, but then I end up starting at the start screen or my Steam library for 15 minutes then hop over to YouTube.
I’m hoping it’s just a phase, but nothing seems enjoyable to me anymore
You mention a list of games that you actually do like. Maybe the more popular AAA are just not for you? I recently picked up a ton of video games and honestly, I’m terrible at many of them. You mentioned two games I’ve played the heck out of, Civilization and Stardew Valley. I got Elden Ring collecting dust right now. Heck last summer my #1 game on steam was an early access called Supermarket Simulator. Go figure. The newest game I’ve completed all the way through and enjoy starting over again? Subnautica…mostly because of the room for creativity AND I don’t have to fight anything.
Anyway all that to say it’s ok to just like SOME video games. I think the landscape of games has changed where there are such a wide variety of experiences that everyone has their favorites. There’s a reason the game of the year last year was a card game. (yeah and I picked up Balatro too! lol)
I’m still playing pubg lol. having a kid means I can only ever do a 1 hour stint anyway so it work great.
Oddly I started playing Rimworld, I stopped caring about quests, achievements, transactions, levels..
Rimworld makes me appreciate creating a story, I just want to play cause god dammit steve may be missing both arms and 1 eye but he’s gonna make it!!!!
Honestly it revamped my love of just having fun, hours go by and I don’t notice ” also find every game boring” lol
Also sometimes you need a break, weight lift, go for walks, hobbies, books, screw gaming, then eventually come back and GO SLOW, no reviews, no anything, just turn it on and have fun, no min/maxing, no statagy guides, no looking up how everything works in advance, just have fun!!
I gravitated towards simulator games. Found I enjoy them more than action games.
I’ve run into this before, the only thing I can do is to put more time into my other hobbies and interests. A few months away can renew my interest in games again. Plus in a few months, more games will be available.
Try story driven games (or other games that you may like) on easy mode.
As I got older I found the grinding, inconsequential side quests and other “just do this for the sake of doing it” bits repetitive, un-imaginative, time consuming and lacked any meaning.
I found story driven games, such as the last of us, or even God of War much more enjoyable and easier to fit in with my (much more complicated and time-poor) life easier and relaxing without the difficult challenge/ grind parts of the games.
I have enough challenges to overcome in my life, i want gaming to be pleasurable and enjoyable- more akin to watching a movie than to playing a sport.
Not to say some challenges can’t be enjoyable of course. eg. i like driving sims and will happily go around a circuit over and over trying to perfect my lines and get a better time.
Try different things out, but I found easy/ easier modes on games let gaming fit in with life better.
Magic: the Gathering, chess, etc.
I was a crazy addicted gamer until college. Then i started working on my real life, getting friends and improving myself.
I have a group of friends in my 30s who I play with sometimes but the magic is gone. The good feeling i got with video games was replaced with more authentic human experiences and doing things i feel are rewarding.
I still enjoy them in short spurts but i feel like garbage after i play. Rather go hiking or read a book.
On a more specific level WoW was my big addiction. I hate investing time into something where in a few months none of my gear is relevant. Time investments in video games only fuck up my dopamine and make everything else just kind of sucks
Even if I have nothing to do I can’t play a game on the weekend where it doesn’t feel like I’m wasting my time..
Cities skylines. Open RCT. Parkitect. Planet Coaster 2.
I used to enjoy them when I was younger. But not anymore. I recently tried rdr2 because it got so much hype, I had to give it up after a few tries. The graphics are nice but I just can’t. Man I’m 34, I got debt, a wife, a job, responsibilities and tons of shit on my mind. I ain’t got time to ride a horse 30 minutes to get a quest bro. I want to just open up a game, turn off my brain for half an hour and shoot some dudes or something. I don’t have the time or the energy to explore a map bigger than the city I live in and grind out stats and gather materials to craft weapons or whatever. Games today feel more like a chore than anything. Whatever happened to games like half life where you would find cool weapons and shoot things and run through a well written story?
Nothing is wrong with you
I’m right there too. And I’m a game dev/artist
I’ll start playing something and it just wont hold my attention
It’s like there are other more important things to do than spend hours grinding through a different version of the same thing. And what will i have to show for it afterwards if i don’t love it anymore/
Maybe your priorities have just changed.
Maybe life has more interesting things in it than that sort of escapism now.
Don’t beat yourself up over it. It’s just life and people change
Take a break. Something may come up that’ll grab you. But there’s no need to feel like you HAVE to
Maybe that’s part of it
There’s a ton of factors for sure. Id try some simulation games – immersive ones.
My friend and I are both about 40 and do the same thing – we call it game ADHD. Where we play something a few nights or a week then move on. Sometimes revisiting things we played but it’s been a while.
That’s why I recommend sim. I can get in a plane, car, big rig, space ship, etc. The realness and immersion is the only thing that really trap me. I do still play other games with higher attention than others, generally wanting to finish them to see how it feels once I have upgraded myself enough to feel super powerful.
Don’t play because your friends do or whatever. I enjoy kicking back and watching a movie on my phone or tablet in bed instead of gaming some nights. I also enjoy reading during that time as well.
But as an adult with a family – there’s always something else I could be doing.
Try more puzzle games. The core gameplay loop is to make you feel smarter. Just remember that you need to sleep to learn stuff. If you get stuck it often means you need to sleep to cement the stuff you learned. Often you will immediately solve something you were stuck on the previous day, and it seems like it’s so easy.
Sort of going through it. It comes in waves, sometimes up to a few years.
What has sort of been working for me is finding games that are either quicker or have simpler gameplay but with a higher replay value, such as roguelites. 33 imortais being the most recent example.
Being able to hop on and off more easily, also helps. So an Xbox on TV seems easier to unwind than turning my PC on in a separate room.
I have tons of good games but I only play any of them once in a blue moon when an old friend is down for some co op. iRacing is the last thing I devote any meaningful time to. But that doesn’t feel like a normal gaming experience to me, it’s more about getting into a flow state to de stress after work.
I took that time and put it into spirituality, my relationship, exercise, and outdoor hobbies because they’re more fulfilling to me these days. Games are all well and good but time is finite and interests and values change over time.
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with you at all. I go years without playing games before I get back into it, it’s been about two years since my last delve into Fallout and I’m coming back soon for the Oblivion release (since I never played it back in the day). But in the meanwhile I do other things, like you. I learn to cook new dishes, I go camping, I go to the shooting range, I’m about to join a gym.
I have plenty of hobbies to choose from, it doesn’t mean I’m obliged to do any given one of them on a set schedule. Usually winter is for more solitary ones like gaming and electronics projects, and the summer months are more out-and-about like hiking.
This is totally normal, and it’s a weird thing to judge someone for (or to be self-conscious about). Don’t trip. Just do whatever feels right in the moment instead of coming back to the same thing that clearly doesn’t do it for you… it’s not like the games are going to disappear if you change your mind.
I remember there was a time when I was about 9 or 10 when I noticed I no longer was able to have fun playing with toy cars. I tried again, again and again, because this was my favorite and go-to play my whole life until then.
But then I accepted I outgrew then, and looked for other games. In my case, video games.
Its not impossible to think that at some stage you can outgrow video games the same way, because I also, similarly, don’t get a fun kick from video games either. Not to mention, I have a constant backlog of chores and responsibilities, I cannot anymore immerse myself for hours into a pretend world.
Complains about grind fest and do this quest and that quest.
Also played WoW for 20 years…
I play games on easy. I get 3 hrs a week. I don’t have time to struggle. I’m playing thru doom eternal on easy rn. Renewed my interest.
I’m gonna rant. Be ready.
So, I feel like the gaming industry, and by that I mean the big triple A games and games that circle around them have been following a certain unintended philosophy. Man games are online or live service. With that they make games that consume a lot of your time. This is why you’ve seen a resurgence in single player games lately. People have been getting fed up with the existing landscape. However, even single players game suffer from longevity issues. I think the big failure of games is they try to be too much. Games should be encapsulated. They should tell a story (if they are that type of game, like GoW) and have a progression. When the player ends the game he feels good. He feels he participated in everything. No FOMO, no bs. Or maybe its a simple game that is a road rage kind of game that offers a couple of hours of fun and most people might move on. You have your fun and you’re happy. But no, these games don’t exist as much anymore.
That’s why I’ve been playing some rogue likes: death must die, deep rock galactic, halls of torment.
The principle is simple. It doesn’t require big amounts of time. You feel yourself getting better, both skillfully and knowledgeably. When you reach the end, whatever that means for you (another important detail, as many games decide what is the end and then you feel bad ‘cas you didn’t finish it) you feel good, you feel like you had fun and or accomplished.
games being simple and completable is important.
I think it makes a lot of sense that as a software engineer, you don’t want to also spend your free time looking at a screen by yourself even if that activity isn’t quite like writing lines of code and troubleshooting. I have a similar job, and many of my hobbies are either more active, like cycling or social, like playing tabletop games. At this point, it takes a long-awaited entry in a beloved series or something like that to get me back into video games for any significant amount of time.
I was kinda the same for a solid 6 or 7 years there, so my advice is venture off the beaten path and play some non-Triple A games.
You’ll find some gems, like on their first releases, games like Rocket League and HellDivers were eye openers for many people. Just simple co-op fun.
I haven’t played video games since the late ’90s, and I don’t think I’m missing out on anything that would be of value to me.
It’s not a crisis if shedding it doesn’t really matter to you. Just add it to the list of things that you won’t bother keeping up with (that list is long and growing longer, by the way).
Maybe you just grew out of it? Nothing wrong with that. Many could argue in this society ” you’re a grown man still playing video games?? ” Either that or you just haven’t found you’re type of game
I feel this way but I find I’ve grown a taste for sandbox type games. No Mans Sky has been huge for me, and I’ve kinda taken to Roguelikes like Shiren the Wanderer. Multiplayer games are fun to still, like we fire up some Mariokart at home at least once a week…but I think a lot of the fun there comes from having kids.
Try Disco Elysium. Problem solved 🙂
You can just stop playing games for a while.
That’s called depression!
Try Skies of Arcadia, if you can get ahold of it.
Clever, feel good, high accessibility, unique mechanics elements, fun story, all the checks.
None of the stress or PvP.
Or go read LitRPG.
I think this is perfectly fine. This is great.
Video games are a huge time suck. It’s a trap. Games create the illusion of progress and purpose. Speaking from own experience: They can steal drive and spark from your real life. Energy that could be spent on solving real life quests.
I would consider myself lucky and just stop. Spend your time doing something that will level up your character here on earth.
I didn’t enjoy video games much when I was a single man but now being busy and in a relationship, the couple hours here and there that I can game feel great. Ymmv.
Been here for the past 5 years or so, so much that I sold all my gaming consoles and tv🥲
Sounds like what I’ve been going through over the last few years.
Path of Exile (1) was my game. 6000+ hours in it, and even losing characters on Hardcore just made me come back for more. I’ve tried to get back into it, because I really miss the idea of putting on a True Crime podcast and grinding it out. My last few attempts, I think I got to level 15 and called it quits. That’s like MAYBE 20 minutes of play time.
I spent the better part of last year playing ranked League of Legends again. Hours and hours of watching videos on how to lane better, micro/macro, etc. I used to be hard stuck in Gold. I made it to Platinum, and ditched it immediately.. So fucking toxic.
Now I’m more interested in learning about Space lol. It’s the 2am Neil Degrass Tyson binging for me, dawg.
For what it’s worth….I think it’s a good habit/hobby to drop…
Try Dayz! But also take a break from gaming for a few weeks and watch a shit ton of YouTube lol
I’ve been in a similar spot for years now as well. I think some others have highlighted it well. We don’t have the same time we once did so can’t commit to games that require huge time commitments.
In addition, the overall quality of games has gone down. They are pumped out so quickly, half finished, more of a beta state for so many and it feels disappointing to buy them and spend your limited time on them.
The past few years I’ve realized how video games are simply emulations of real life. When I play them anymore they just make me want to explore the real world, craft real things, and create my own stories. I play them still sometimes as a way to socialize with friends and family who I don’t live near.
I am the same point, have all the consoles but somehow I don’t “feel it” anymore.
I think for me case the passiveness of it is not enough because it doesn’t scratch that deeper itch for aliveness, creativity, or purpose. They don’t give me back the energy I crave after a day of mental work in front of the computer it feels numbing and not restoring. I find much more joy in active hobbies nowdays, gardening, outdoors, working out etc.
However, currently on vacation and playing an old snes rpg and enjoying it, Simple game and not a time sink.
NEVER force yourself to enjoy your hobbies. If it isn’t working, leave it for a few years until you actually WANT to do it.
What has helped for me is setting up a retro gaming meetup around my house where a bunch of people come over and play arcade style retro games on couch-coop.
I realised that it was the face-to-face social aspect of gaming that I was missing.
Going through something similar atm. For the most part, I think it’s due to drifting apart from college friends. We all played League together and now we have different priorities in life. One just got married. Also, gaming has been kind of been on a decline since COVID. Great games can take years to develop. A lot of games have no soul nowadays, like you said they’re grindfests. They feel like a chore after a while.
After college, I raided WoW for years with a nice guild and it was fun but recently I got bored of it. I played GTA on and off, played some PoE, Diablo 4, etc.
If you haven’t tried Warframe yet, I’d recommend giving it a go. I’ve played it on and off for years but recently just got back into it. The devs are very interactive with the community and monetization is not predatory. Quests are story based and aren’t mandatory, you can do them whenever at your own time. There’s so many different aspects of the game, you’ll probably find something that interests you.
I often get this feeling, ahead of time, that when I’m done with this campaign or got to that level, what am I left with? Usually I’m just tired, with hours spent and nothing to show for it. It’s the annoying awareness that even though it can be fun sometimes, it doesn’t give any lasting satisfaction and results.
Alternatively I could have read a book, gone for a run, visited family, improved that thing in the house, something I can appreciate afterwards. It’s almost as if… I’m growing up.
It’s possible that you’ve played so many video games they all feel the same.
You know, the typical water temple, the same mission finding an item, taking it across the map, then giving it to someone else and going back to the other spot.
Oh it’s the “escorting mission”
You’re tiered of video games, because when you where 15 they all felt different, now, they all feel the same. Because they lowkey kind are.
Welcome to life my friend!
You’re not feeling gaming??? – Stop gaming!!
But you’re right, time to focus on the game of life!!
Get an outdoor hobby, it doesn’t matter if you don’t latch onto something specific for very long (unless it’s expensive to do) but go do some real world stuff for a while.
Things I do instead of gaming:
HIIT and HYROX training
Cooking (I love taking the time to make new burger recipes!)
Baking
BBQ Smoking
Orienteering
Trail Running
Ice bathing / saunas
Climbing (just tried that for the first time recently, it’s so much fun! around $15 for entry and $7 to hire shoes).
Gardening (not my favourite thing, but very satisfying when done).
Hiking.
SUP’s (I bought a stand up paddle board two years ago, and it’s great fun spending a summer afternoon paddling around some random lake).
Don’t try and force the games, listen to your body/mind, if you’re not feeling it don’t force it, why would you force something you’re not interested in? It’s a waste of your free time (except exercise and cooking).
There’s a difference between “Things I want to do” and Things I want to want to do”. You seem to be focusing on the latter, but the thing is, if you ACTUALLY wanted to do it you would be doing it.
For example I want to want to play guitar (I have two) but I haven’t actually sat with one in about 8 months, but I’ve no problem running through a forest for a couple of hours at a time.
Find what you actually want to do, not what you want to want to do, or think you should be doing.
I still game from time to time, but mostly it’s on long winter evenings or the occasional co-op with my son, sometimes if I’m up super early (around 5am) I might feel like an hour or so of XCOM2.