I feel stuck at 32, like I should have figured out my direction by now. Therapy has helped me process a lot, but I still feel aimless and like I’m just drifting. I see others with clear paths, and it’s hard not to feel behind. I want to find a sense of purpose, but it feels like I’m missing the map. Anyone else feel this way? How did you find your direction or get out of the rut?
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I’m reading to have or to be by Erich Fromm right now and it’s directly related to your question. Grab the audio book version and go on some walks get 10K steps in and listen. Stuff like this really helps me personally.
Get active and engage with life.
Am I feeling this way at 60? Not really. Are you sure you’re asking the right audience?
Pick your audience and ask a more specific question. Do you have a chance to change your life? Of course!
You can find a sense of purpose by starting in your community. How well do you know your neighbors? Are any of them elderly and could use a hand from time to time? Do you volunteer for local causes? Could be dog adoption events or clothing/food drives? Change starts in your immediate vicinity.
I’m 32 also feel stuck idk where I’m going in life
Here’s what ive learned over the years:
The way out is more doing and less thinking.
Accept uncertainty and fear as normal emotions.
Connection and belonging is the big one. You need other people to feel safe, to feel like you matter.
I picked up a whole new career with better upward mobility options at your age. It’s doable, just have a plan and execute so you aren’t wasting time or money.
Man , I get it , I’m 42 and have been directionless most of my life having drifted through 2 careers and a bunch of weird jobs and BS to get by.
It took some ‘I’m incredibly lucky to be alive’ health crises to find a new path . Currently back in school (again) in a new direction but I’ve got 2 young boys I need to stick around for and provide for . Keep looking, find something that can drive you and push through it
It sounds easy when I say it like that , but goddamn has it been hard
Yup
Don’t compare yourself to others, compare yourself to who you were yesterday.
Also others might look successful and have a clear path on the surface but also facing the same existential questions you are. Those who appear successful or seem to have a clear path are often challenged with the same doubts, questions, and uncertainties.
Life is like that, it seems. Things can change in an instant. I have gone through several phases of feeling stuck and worthless, but then the universe sends something my way to give me some clarity.
Try some new hobbies. Do different things. Good luck amigo. I can relate to this feeling.
I’m chilling bro.
You got to realize life is the lazy River. You’re just on a ride
Don’t stress it too much man. It’ll all work out in the end or maybe it won’t but there’s not much you can really do. Just try to enjoy the ride
I hear you. But you have to accept there isn’t a map or guidebook you are missing that other people have. It can be overwhelming to pick a direction with so many options, but your values have to drive that.
Do you want to get married and raise a family, do you want to try and devote your life to god or in the service of others, do you want to live a life of luxury and enjoying the finer things, do you want to live somewhere specific (a big city, a remote tropical paradise)? What are you actually good at and what are you passionate about? Ask yourself these questions.
They aren’t easy questions and you probably won’t be able to answer them right away if you haven’t really spent time contemplating them.
Some of them may be contradictory, but you might see the appeal of both. Like a life of luxury and material things vs a life devoted to serving your community. Thats when you’ve got to make the hard decisions we all face, in rare instances you can have both, but usually not. Do you have a skill set better suited to one or the other. At the end of the day, you’ve got to make a conscious choice, and drive relentlessly towards it. else you’ll wander aimlessly just getting by, day to day.
I’ll start with an anecdote because it might help. I’m in the same boat – I never had a “calling” except for animal rescue (which isn’t generally viable to support a family). So naturally I went into real estate for a decade and always been good with people, but those skills don’t directly translate to many places without taking a step back.
I listened to my gut and moved to a town that felt right, and I’m not regretting it. Right now I’m in a “for now” job that just kept going. My mistake has been thinking I’m above taking a step back/pay cut and starting from the bottom rung in a new career
It’s something I’m now ok with, and I’ll be looking for a new job on my upcoming paternity leave. But I still acknowledge the progress I’ve made towards the life I want
Fulfillment goes in steps and doesn’t happen all at once. It comes with living as close to your gut as practically possible, as much of the time as you can. I still don’t feel like I have a practical “direction,” but I’m finding fulfillment anywhere in life I can (hobbies, volunteering, friends, growing family). At a certain point, the best option is sometimes writing down all of your skills (and asking others that know you what they think yours are), and coming up with a list of things you can do with those skills that will support your life.
You may not find that your career fulfills your life’s purpose, but progressing in something you can use your skills at might be enough to find that fulfillment in your out of work life. I’m still looking for that right fit job but my out of work life fills me up. Having that makes the lack of work fulfillment doable.
Spend your free time doing things that you’d spend your life doing if money didn’t matter. Good luck and we both still have plenty of time. I’ve read stories on this sub of people finding renewed purpose in their 50’s and beyond. It’s never too late to revitalize your life
Often you have to do things to feel purpose, instead of finding purpose before doing things.
You’re never going to have the perfect answer. You often have to choose from the best of several imperfect options and learn more through trial and error.
I felt purposeless before getting my first real job. Eventually, my parents forced me to get one. I figured out pretty quickly what I wanted to do once I was in the real world. Of course, I still deal with that feeling, but taking action is still the key to handling it.
Don’t worry, even if you had things figured out, your 40’s change that.
It’s everybody in the world man. Just have to move forward.