What’s something you thought was stupid as a girl, but now as a woman, you realize your mom was right about?
What’s something you thought was stupid as a girl, but now as a woman, you realize your mom was right about?
r/AskWomen
What’s something you thought was stupid as a girl, but now as a woman, you realize your mom was right about?
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Absolutely nothing lol. My mom had a very limited world view having married at 18, never really travelling, never furthering her education, etc. She did the best she could with her limited toolset, but yeah I can’t think of anything that I once thought was stupid but it turns out that she was right about.
I used to think my mom was overprotective about friends and dating. Now I get it, she just didn’t want me to get hurt. She was right more times than I wanna admit.
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My Mom would not let me go into the city with my friends so we could meet up with older guys and drink alcohol. (my Mom didn’t know that last part but maybe she did 🤔) I would always get so mad at her but I get it now as an adult. I understand why she wouldn’t let me. She was pretty much right about everything. She was and still is a great Mom. I am very lucky.
Hmm i can’t think of anything. That’s not to say my mum was always right lol. She really wasn’t. She was highly conservative and judgemental, married early in life and extremely religious. She’s calmer now though. I just used to hold her in quite high regard so I didn’t think she got most things wrong.
But ig I can see now she was right to think my dad was lazy.
SUNSCREEN! lmao.
I used to think my mom was so dramatic about it! like, why would I waste time putting on sunscreen multiple times a day? Now, I get it. She wasn’t just trying to annoy me haha she was saving me from future regrets (and expensive skincare). So yeah, mom, you were right. I’ll take my SPF 50 and my humble pie now.
Scars. I was a tomboy as a kid and thought it was so cool! I would purposefully pick scratches to get a scar. Well, now I get it.
Sunscreen and moisturizer.
Not buying into gender norms. Just because I’m a woman doesn’t mean another woman is safe.
Don’t overpluck your eyebrows!
I used to think it was silly when my mom said “don’t chase people, let them show you they care.” Now I see how much energy I wasted on people who didn’t deserve it. She was so right.
Taking care of our skin
That sex means a lot more when you love someone. I could never bring myself to enjoy sex if I had no feelings, it made me feel less than my worth whenever we finished. Deep empty feeling. Then my bf came along and sex makes me want to cry tears of joy lol I love him
To not bleach and dye my hair so much because it will get brittle and break off.
I was goth/punk back in the day and would constantly want to dye my hair and then decide that I wanted the next totally opposite color of what I currently had. My mother would tell me to just pick a color and be happy with it until it grew out. SO ANNOYING! 🤬
I haven’t dyed hair in years and I just went from red to blond, and yeah, mom was right.
Silence.
As a teenager it was so irritating and unthinkable to me as to why my mom never had her radio on when she was driving. To me, that was the time to crank it up!! Now guess who drives around in silence because it’s the only goddang time I have to hear my own thoughts!! That and I can’t see when the radio’s too loud, lol. 😆
Do not post provocative pictures of urself online. No sleepovers if there is a father, brother, or male cousin in the home.
The best reason not to have sex as a teenager is that dudes are bad at it, and it just won’t be any fun.
I have the opposite, she always got on at me to pluck my eyebrows. If I had listened to her I would have the 90s skinny ass brows. Thank fuck for Hermione Granger and her ‘bushy’ brows!
Clean a little every day so you dont have to spend the entire day cleaning at the end of the week.
Not riding my bike in the street. So many bad drivers and people who don’t pay attention
Dating college aged guys when I was in high school.
The patriarchy lol. I used to roll my eyes when my mom would point out problematic patterns in our society. Like when I was watching the Little Mermaid she would remark that it’s not the best message to send little girls, that the main character gambles away her family that loves her for the chance of being with an older man when she is only 16 years old. At the time I insisted it was romantic. Now I’m like wtf was that? 😅
That I wouldn’t ever say “Because I’m the mom and I said so!” When I grew up.
That was never my default answer. I would always explain my reasoning to my child. However, with a child that just continues arguing because he disagreed with the reasoning there were times I finally just said “because I’m the mom and I said so!”
EVERYTHING. My whole adult life is just a series of finding out that my parents were right, lol.
I’ll use driving as an example, though. My mom was not a fan of us going places with a newly licensed teenager driving. She didn’t love it even driving around town, and any kind of road trip was a hard no. She always said that it was too much responsibility to put on a young person in the event of an accident. I didn’t get it. I wanted to go with my friends.
I get it now. Car accidents are no joke, and especially with the weather here in Canada, you can do everything right and end up in one anyway. You can be stone cold sober and get hit by a drunk driver. An accident could kill a passenger and leave a driver uninjured. That IS too much responsibility to put on a 16-year-old for no reason other than a weekend trip.
Two things:
as someone stated above, no sleepovers. My mom didn’t let me go on one until I was 10 and they met and trusted the parents. Looking back, and working with kids now, she was right on the money
maybe not stupid, but I definitely took for granted how hard my mom worked, especially in a male dominated field. She overcame so much to be successful and I wasn’t fully aware of that until I went into the working world myself
My mom is from the carribean and she had this weird saying when I was a teenager “your friends will bring you out, but they won’t bring you back”. It means people or friends will help you get into sticky situations, but they won’t necessarily help you get out of them.
That one must not tell everything about oneself even to the closest of friends. Because people can change. People get jealous, resentful. It’s not necessarily because they are bad.
It’s just circumstances. We don’t need to judge them for it. But as a self protection mechanism it’s best to keep one’s very intimate details to oneself.
When I was 37kg and very, very young, I wanted to take supplements to increase my weight. My mom told me I was gonna gain weight naturally, but I didn’t listen. Now I-
“Nothing good happens after Midnight.”
Definitely used that at parties/clubs, and I missed a lot of the traumatizing drama when I was in bed with my cats in college.
Skincare and makeup.
It was sold to me as a way to be ‘prettier’. Me being a feminist 12 year old eschewed that as a way to stick it to the patriarchy.
Now I know how important taking care of your skin is, and turns out makeup is fun.
Lotion! All over your body. It was a huge deal for her to have just the right kind….. she was right 😂
Honestly, my mum always warned me about making life choices based on the people I dated. She was respectful about it but basically told me that it wasnt going to last and to make sure I made choices for myself. At the time I thought we would be highschool sweethearts and be together forever, but now looking back its silly how naive that was lol
I used to think it was dumb when my mom said “the way people treat waiters says a lot about them.” Now I watch that like a red flag detector.
Lets just say, I now understand that older men dating girls much younger than them don’t do so because said men are special for having retained a young soul..
Nothing is as important as spending time with your kids.
I thought she was weak for dropping out of the workforce to be a stay-at-home mom. I used to say I’d never give up on my goals like that.
Now, if I had enough money I’d do the same in a heartbeat.
She was right – I do need a coat and I will be cold
My Mom complained about how quickly time passed. It seemed like she was always telling me that time just flew by and it was “already almost Christmas” or “Time for school to start up again,” or “The weekend already?!” To me time dragged like a snail through molasses. Now that I’m much older I cannot believe the speed at which time passes. I’m complaining about it being Monday and in no time at all I’m sitting at Thursday, then the weekend is here and gone. Back around, then again. Mom was right!
As much as I hate to admit it and still get annoyed when I hear this phrase, sometimes – it just is what it is. My mom used to say that during certain situations and it would put me into a blind fury. But as I’ve aged, I realized, that is true sometimes and we just have to deal with whatever it is.
How dare my mom tell me my shyness would wear off as an adult and I’d be shaking my ass in the club with reckless abandon.
Because when I got to 21 I froze my vicious twerking in the club as I was hit with the memory of her saying that to me. And I thought “she was right.”
I used to always pick on my mom for changing into her pajamas right after dinner. “ why? It’s still light out. Dad and you are really not going out for the rest of the night?” I wouldn’t change until right before bed just in case something fun came up. But now I change in to comfy clothes as soon as I get home, no matter what time a day it is and even if I know I’m going out again later. And I prefer staying in now even on a weekend.
Wearing lipstick! God I love lipstick now. When I was a preteen/teen I thought it was too much
I was too young to get married.
Don’t be dependent on a man.
She didn’t let me get a belly button piercing or a nose job, lol.
I’ve had a lot of therapy to undo everything my mom said to me
The only way to get a clean kitchen floors I to get on your hands and knees.
I fucking hate that she was right about that.
Wow I can’t think of one solid piece of advice my mom has ever given me. The only thing that pops up in my head is the phrase “this too shall pass.” She said too often, I would roll my eyes and couldn’t stand hearing it. But after being through a lot, I guess she’s right.
“I’m not one of ya little friends” used to IRK me but now I’m grateful for it. I did not enjoy being disciplined, “hard parenting”, firm directive guidance and living in a very structured rule-abiding home where my mom was mostly kind but there was always a firm clear boundary that she was the wise adult and we were to obey and listen as a kid. Now as an adult, just looking around tells me I was very very lucky.
Older men don’t actually think youre mature for your age, they’re either creeps who prey on younger women who don’t know any better, or women their own age just won’t put up with their BS.
I did believe her for the most part, as she was 17 when she started dating my dad (who was 27 and her boss at the time) and I knew how their relationship turned out. But damn, that “older women are just bitter” messaging coming from literally everywhere was difficult to ignore.
Having home insurance. It wasn’t so much thinking it was stupid. It was thinking that things always happen to the neighbor. She paid for it first since I originally couldn’t afford it. When lightning struck in our home and killed eight electronic devices, I had to eat my words and tell her she was right. Insurance paid up 6 days later after processing our case.
I thought my mom was just trying to make me feel better and not hurt my self-esteem even more when she’d tell me that people at my middle school and high school were just shallow and immature. She told me that I wasn’t the problem, I just went to school with kids who were too mean/stupid to appreciate what I had to offer.
Now as an adult and a teacher myself, I realize my mom was right. I was a little quirky (gifted identified only child who had braces, acne, freckles, frizzy hair and was fat) but I had a good heart and was true to myself. There really are a lot of shallow and clique-y people out there who don’t care if they bring other people down.
Being forced to eat veggies. I always hated that and told my mom “how come my friends parents never force them to eat veggies you do”
I am now an adult that enjoys a large variety of foods and have the flexibility to eat anywhere I want. Surrounded by 30 some year olds that say “ew I don’t like xyz I can’t eat that”
That life is not worth restricting foods you like. Eat everything in moderation without guilt, but exercise for vitality. So happy I didn’t have an almond mom, she helped me so much when I was recovering from ED. I love movement now purely for the joy it gives me
She hated when I sat with my hands clenched. Said it looked like I was angry. Turns out I was angry. I notice it in other people now as an adult.
That we have food at home was actually financial wisdom not betrayal
Focus on school and friends rather than chasing boys, both would last much longer and make my life better. She was exactly right, I didn’t listen—wasted so much time and effort.
Wearing tights with skirts/dresses!
When my mom told me about periods I thought she was making it up. I instantly forgot about it, and was taken completely by surprise when it happened.
She didn’t want me in pictures my school uploaded on social media.
Either your legs, your arms, or your cleavage can be out, pick one. I thought it was corny asf as a kid. Now I realize she was just saying that because I am incredibly anemic and get cold really easily then I want to leave the function. I also seem to be mosquito bait so it doesn’t feel good to have bug bites on my thighs, boobs, and shoulders all at once. Great looking out, Ma.
We live in an unfair world and that world is especially unfair to women and girls. I used to think Mom was being ridiculous over some of the things I used to wear as a teenager, but now that I’m grown up and know that a rapist’s defense attorney will still ask his victim what kind of clothing she had on, I think it’s wiser to stack the deck in my own favor and save the really sexy stuff for the bedroom.
My mum said your coat should hang below your skirt hem. I thought that was stupid and it made you look like a flasher, so I always wanted my coat to end a couple of inches above my skirt hem.
… Nah, she was right. It looks classier her way.
She used to say “oh I just can’t do anything right, everything is always my fault…” and I’d refute it.
Yeah, no. She actually couldn’t do anything right and everything was indeed her fault.
Making a serving my husband a a plate. As a teenager my mother told me a woman serves her husband a plate. It’s just what you do. I thought this was a stupid and antiquated idea. I thought it was belittling and misogynistic. Now as a grown married woman I realize it is a way of showing love, respect, and care. My husband can make his own plate and he’s usually not hungry at dinner time so he makes his own plate when he’s hungry. However when he does want to eat at dinner time I make his plate. The look on his face when I bring it to him is priceless and 100% worth. When I bring him a plate in front of his family he acts like a damn kid on Christmas.
My mom would tell me that much older men will hit on you, I thought eww no they wont then I turned 15,16 and it started. Looking back now these men nay predators were straight up in their 30’s, 40’s saying I was mature for my age etc. My mom was right.
That sex is awesome, and giving blowjobs is fun.
Nope, this is not a joke.
My mom NEVER bought flavored drinks or soda. Sometimes, she would buy orange juice, but it was rare. I used to be embarrassed when my friends would come over, and I only had water to offer. She was a single mom working 2/3 jobs, so I had a vague idea we were poor. As we came up a little financially, it didn’t change. I can remember being so mad about it and asking, “BUT WHY!?!?” To which I got the standard “because I said so, that’s why.” Now, as an adult, I appreciate that habbit of only drinking water, being poor or not. It taught me the value of health, money, and necessity.
“Be careful who you choose to spend time with.”
She was right. I invested too much time and emotions into a scummy and abusive ex boyfriend and sketchy so-called friends, all who hurt me in the long run and I’m still recovering from the scars.
I just wish she was still alive so I could thank and hug her.
When someone shows you who they are believe them
Don’t move in with a man before serious commitment. She used to say why buy the cow if the milk is free anyway. It’s sad but true for majority of my friends who rushed move in together, they had to fight to get a ring or they broke up
Masturbate before going on a date. It’ll tell you if you’re actually interested in the person, or just horny
Nearly everything lol my mother is incredible but there’s always something….
But, not letting me buy the ugly Tory Burch labeled flats or Burberry trench coat when I was in high school. Not caring about the hierarchy that is always in place for women in their given social circles, but being well-known and liked because she’s genuinely a kind and caring person.
Don’t read in the dark; turn a light on. I say this as I have to reach for my “cheaters” (reading glasses) because my phone (and anything else readable) is fuzzy if I don’t.
My mom always wanted me to have some lipstick on or at least Chapstick. Now I realize I do look sick if I go out of the house with dry crusty lips.
Helmets
the fact that you can’t say to ANYONE “i think this happened” and you have to as a woman say “this happened for certain” otherwise no one will believe you. sad sad story
Men are only interested in women for making their lives easier, Do less chores, cook less food, do less laundry, pay less bills, get a free vagina to utilize on command
That I’ll be sick of sex sooner than I realize. YUP
“That’s too much sugar”
Para todo hay remedio menos la muerte. Means there is a fix for everything except death. Basically dont stress about things going wrong, theres always something you can do to fix any situation except for death. Lol Now i tease her and respond back with “not if youre a witch…” she doesnt like that edit 😂😂😂
I dated a 16 year old boy when I was 12. Nice kid but looking back now he had to have a screw or two loose to date a middle schooler as a junior in high school. What the fuck
Blend your foundation down your neck dammit!
The importance of having a healthy social circle.
And be extra careful about overnight church lock-ins.
My mom wouldn’t let us hang out across the street at our friends house if the mom wasn’t home because she felt something was off about the dad. She was right ….
Cleaning the house before you leave on vacation. Do you come home to a clean home.
You cannot change someone. Accept them for who they are or leave them alone.
My mom was right about one very important thing. Get a vertical file box and put your important shit in it. Insurance papers in one folder, healthcare records in another, birth certificate/social security cards/passport etc, tax forms, all that important stuff that you don’t need til you NEED it and can’t find it.
Almost everything!
-a made bed makes a room look clean
-friends come and go
-you cook with love
-don’t do good things for others and expect it in return. Just do them because you are a good person.
God the list goes on.
My mom told me when I was 19, that the 29 year old that I was dating was creepy and that I wldnt be emotionally fine afterwards. She tried to warn me that it was related to my CSA. But I didn’t care. I just thought she was being prudish and Christianlike. We broke up a couple months later due to him being racist towards my black sister . It took me YEARS to get over that relationship.
I got older and realized that no 29 year old should want to have sex with a 19 year old. I’m 31 and I can’t even consider thinking someone 19 years old is cute or even wanna hookup with them.
I hated doing chores, I didn’t understand why we had them. My mom always said we’re apart of a family, we help each other (she was not a homemaker).
Now as a wife and mother to a few who works also, I totally understand the frustration of most everything being dumped on me and find myself repeating the importance of all of us helping to do our part….i get the same annoyed looks to
“Romance without finance don’t stand a chance.”
Digging myself out of multiple jointly-acquired debts later…. 🙄