Do you believe it’s still important to give a firm handshake when meeting someone for the first time? (Not stupidly strong, not soft & limp) Or is this an outdated custom of the past? Why?
Do you believe it’s still important to give a firm handshake when meeting someone for the first time? (Not stupidly strong, not soft & limp) Or is this an outdated custom of the past? Why?
Comments
I think it’s silly, what does your ability to try and break someone’s hand have to do with most jobs?
It’s absolutely important to know how to shake a persons hand. Male or female. Anything less than a medium firm handshake is insulting to the receiver. If you want to show real sincerity do a two handed shake. (Cup the shanking right hands with your left). -this is from an American pov. I don’t know where you are in the world.
It’s important, is still a well seen formality.
I suspect that you don’t wash your hands, I’d rather not
I’m bowing
No. I don’t shake hands.
Still important. You never get a second chance at a first impression, and so much is communicated in a handshake.
I think it is important to scratch the palm. Keep things interesting.
A firm handshake is a must always.
Severely outdated. I make due with a polite nod.
I definitely prefer it over the, “dead fish,” handshake. Feels more professional and polite to me as well, as it shows you’ve got good etiquette
Yes. It’s a sign of respect and a good way to greet people, especially if it’s not a person you would not greet in other, more casual ways. Additionally, I was taught how to do a good handshake as a child, and I feel like it leaves a good impression, especially on older people.
Not outdated. It’s most western countries way of greeting. It’s like bowing for some asian cultures. And not just for the first time, some countries you always shake hands when you greet. Specially formally. In some european and american countries you shake hands and kiss. Almost every time. Young people don’t really do that with each other though, and when one does they instantly look more mature and composed than the rest.
Important is not the word I would use, but a few old people still believe that nonsense, so if you want to impress those people specifically then go ahead and do it.
Yes and I’m a woman.
Will never be outdated, I feel literal disgust when shaking a moist floppy hand and I become extra observant for other red flags
As a man, yes it matters. But its a “read the room” scenario. Time and place.
I find it important. But not like important important.
All I can say is when I go to shake someone’s hand and it’s very limp and weak…. it’s very offputting. But I also can’t explain why.
I have no idea what’s happening in the world but it definitely doesn’t seem to be run by people with strong hands (mostly women and effeminate men seem to be in charge).
When I was young I despised old men that would squeeze the life of my hand. Now I’m old and I wonder if I’m squeezing too hard because I can’t tell.
I think it’s important. I really hate shaking someone’s hand and it’s a limp noodle. Just feels weird.
COVID kind of killed that.
Only if their good looking
Yes. Shows conviction and sincerely to me. I don’t mind no handshake; but if you do go for it, go for it.
No. The death of the handshake was one of the few good things arising from COVID.
If you’re gonna shake hands then have at least a half decent handshake. I had a handshake with someone who just left their hand be limp and I still think about that years later. Now, I’m not gonna go “his handshake sucked, he must be a terrible person!” but every time I see him I remember he has a really shit handshake. He’s shit handshake guy in my head.
Especially the first meeting and even most if not all other times.
I do think it has virtue. It is a one-on-one moment where both people acknowledge each other explicitly. It is also signaling respect and seeing eye-to-eye. As opposed to expecting the other to kneel down or bow depending on rank, as in ancient times. Above all, it is a sign of a peaceful meeting.
Just think of the situations where a handshake is refused, and what that means! People refuse handshakes as warring parties, for gender or religion. Would you feel comfortable to shake a homeless person’s hand – or are you disgusted? Would you feel comfortable to shake a king’s or pope’s hand? What about a prime minister’s?
The appropriate firmness goes with the respect. I don’t treat you in an aloof manner (hasty), signal deference (dead fish) or dominance (death grip). It’s all part of the symbolism.
It’s socially important, but also outdated. One of the few golden linings of the COVID shut downs was not needing to touch anyone’s grimy ass hands for a while. People are disgusting.
Still relevant, lazy hand shakes indicates a total loser and over the top hand crushing hand shake indicates a major job head.
100%. It isn’t an outdated Babyboomer thing, it’s a respect and professionalism thing.
I think it’s a really lovely warm gesture yet professional thing to do. If you get used to it there’s a chance you might take it for granted. But don’t stop doing it just because of what current trends might dictate. Because it’s genuine. It’s been done for a long time. And it puts people at ease yet let’s them know you are genuine.
No! It’s hell on my arthritis.
If you give me a firm handshake then I guarantee that I’ll never talk to you again.
I think it’s still important. I’m a woman who is tall with largish hands and my dad taught me to shake hands with confidence. It has taken a few men by surprise. I have to fight the urge to shudder when I shake hands with someone who has no idea what they’re doing.
Just keep your hand straight. The confused face ppl do is funny
I don’t think it’s really necessary; I don’t know why a polite nod doesn’t suffice.
I try to avoid handshaking and hugging whenever possible.
COVID taught me the former, my natural reservedness taught me the latter.
I’d rather not give one at all tbh I can’t stand people who feel the need to grip hard af for no reason
No need to be bone-crushing. That was a stupid trend from the corporate 80s.
I think it still matters — it’s a simple way to show confidence and respect without saying a word.
A soft and limp handshake will confuse your opponent and assert the dominance you’re looking for. Strong handshakes are not Popular anymore. Limp hand biscuit is the new way.
Depends if you want to be a professional adult or not.
I had a serious hand injury that will never heal. It physically hurts my hand when dudes feel the need to squeeze hands. Also, touching hands is not the move🤢. I keep covid rules lol
You have to assert dominance over the other person. Lol 😂 jk
I can’t do handshakes anymore. The germs, omg the germs. I don’t know where your hands have been and I don’t want my hands to engage.
It’s one of the most important small skills to know from early on.
I am complimented by roughly 1/2 men for having a strong handshake, the others don’t really comment.
I would imagine it’s less important for women but probably still factors in at least to some degree.
I doubt it loses you anyone unless you’re silly and trying to crush people’s hands.
So I would surmise it to be almost exclusively beneficial with no downside, and probably makes 25% of customers immediately like you slightly more (“Nice firm handshake!” comments galore), so I don’t think classifying it as outdated makes much sense. I don’t work sales anymore but I cannot imagine thinking it wasn’t a good idea to do.
Shook hands with a prominent CEO of quite a successful logistics startup and was shocked at how wet and limp his handshake was lmao. I’ll never forget it, I used to look up to him
Outdated custom based on prejudice. Be yourself.
I think it depends on how a person is raised, if they will care or not. I was, it may be stupid but it’s always part of a first impression
I’m a woman, so I think the “first impression handshake” for me is more about eye contact and a good smile.
Personally I find it displays confidence but also that I’m warm and inviting.
As a man yes
An absolute necessity. Don’t shake my hand without a handrection. Soft skin is fine but no limp wristed water shakes
I like it cause I’m very shy but I will yank your hand like a drunk sailor
I’m old there is only one way
I’ve never met someone with a firm handshake that’s a good handshake. They always catch me off-guard by reaching for one and grab my hand like they’re trying too hard to use that to prove themselves as someone worth listening to.
Handshakes are an old custom, but one we could do without.
The number of guys I hear dropping turds in the stall next to me and then walking straight out without hearing the tap going….
Yeah no thanks I’d rather no handshake
Still important
In professional settings, I appreciate any effort at a proper greeting. It shows respect and confidence.
Outside of business stuff, I don’t really care.
If shaking another man’s hand, I try to be firm without trying to crush their hand. In most settings, I expect that when meeting a man for the first time, a handshake is the expected greeting.
If shaking a woman’s hand, typically in the business world, I tend to back off my grip strength by about 50% or so. I still want there to be something there, not the “dead fish,” but rarely do I receive a very strong handshake from a woman, and I try to factor that into the grip strength I use.
I can’t imagine greeting a woman in my personal life (outside of work) with a handshake though.
To me it kinda says Bullshitter.
A proper handshake is, in my opinion, still a fundamental of social interaction. Each handshake should be fitted to the person you are meeting, and good handshakes are remembered well.
I absolutely HATE handshakes. I always feel awkward and I don’t trust others to wash their hands after using the toilet. After Covid I was hoping a gentle fist bump would take its place but if I meet someone for the first time and want to appear polite, friendly and professional then I give a firm handshake. ….and shudder inside.
I always make sure that I meet the same pressure that I’m given during a handshake. Some people try to make a power play with their handshakes.
Yes – I had already taught my kids by the age of 5 how to shake hands properly. Just a good thing to know.
I find that as a woman, most men don’t offer to shake my hand like they do with my partner, so I offer the shake first. How they respond tells me a lot about how our future interactions are going to go. It’s honestly a way to assert myself that they need to take me seriously and talk to me, not just my partner.
When in doubt, give’em the old stink palm.
Context? I fist bump someone im supposed to like casually but i’d handshake some if it was professional in nature. And i’d probably just ignore a rando on the street
Do what your Mom taught you to do
I feel like COVID made handshakes a complete faux pas in my profession (I’m a doc) even between colleagues. It still triggers something deep down in me when patients initiate a handshake 😂
Bros its not just the handshake its the body language.
Warm open body language + firm handshake.
My neighbor will crush your hand. The giant dude at work is probably trying not to, but it feels like a toddler holding hands with a grownup.
Then there was Uncle Gilbert. Dude would grab your hand lightly and loosely sway it sideways back and forth. It was hilarious. Such a gentle and great guy.
I’m in construction. For what it’s worth, you want a first impression that you’re physically able to do the job.
If I’m meeting someone for a marketplace/Craigslist deal…that firm shake is a tiny thank you hug for having an item I need at a good price
A firm handshake while looking the other person in the eye is a form of respect and openness. It will always be in ‘fashion’.
The last time I did the “firm/man handshake” aka squeeze hard af before they can. It backfired, and the interviewer played it off. I didn’t get hired.
I think I’ve always kind of seen this as a macho bullshit thing, like men trying to assert their dominance or whatever? That said it feels like handshakes might be dying out anyway so might not matter so much in a few years
I taught myself how to give a good firm handshake and it has yielded some of the most incredible results. The shift I see in the eyes of executives when I shake their hand like a politician and they give me a dead fish is a power I hold near and dear. I think people take me more seriously because of it.
I instantly have lower respect for someone who gives a ‘firm handshake’, it reeks to me of testosterone fueled idiocy, misogyny and toxic masculinity. I’ll avoid all future interactions with people like this if I can.
Outdated. Also a good part of first impressions is how they react to a rejected hand shake, and it tell a great deal about personality, adaptability, openness, and how much they’ll get a hang up about it.
First impression value is an established fact fad imo, to me it is about how they appear to me, not what kind of impression i can force upon them, and a death grip hand shake i consider manipulative, same with a weak hand shake, it appears subdominant but can be a tactical move as well.
Besides, why start out and add importance to a physical move when you probably are never going to touch again in a professional, or even friendly setting?
This thread increases my anxiety, god damn.
Absolutely important. A firm handshake is professional, portrays good etiquette, and locks in whatever is said prior to the handshake such as nice to meet you, thank you, my pleasure etc etc. It’s also important to look someone in the eyes when shaking their hand. For me, it’s a display of trust.
Damn, TIL people put way too much stock into that thing people expect me to do that grosses me out when I meet them. All that stuff you think I’m putting into my firm handshake is just so do you don’t shit on me for not having a firm handshake, nothing more and nothing less. Every time. Quit looking so much into it.
I see on here some folks have been getting bad handshakes. Here’s how my grandfather explained it to me…
A handshake is a demonstration of confidence and self control, especially in a business setting.
If you’re nervous, lack confidence, etc, that will carry over into your muscle control. Your handshake will end up being too weak, or too strong, too short, too long .. something will give away your internal state.
Similarly, a lack of self awareness , overconfidence, “alpha male”-ing it, etc… you’ll just end up crushing the person, and they’ll know.
A handshake shouldn’t be a fixed strength or time. It’s about gauging and matching the other person, showing awareness of who you’re greeting, and revealing your internal emotional state.
(Some machos are expecting a crushing grip, so that’s what they get from me. Most folks aren’t. There’s about 200ms to gauge this at the start of the handshake)
That some people always go for “Max strength grip”, regardless of the recipient, says a lot about them .. which is the point of the custom. It communicates something that’s hard to do right, but also hard to fake.
And look the in the eye, too.
I prefer not shaking hands. I’ve witnessed to many people leaving the restroom without washing hands.
Handshake is def still important and hand sanitizer is ABSOLUTELY important…I’m not touching my face or any part of me til I get away to myself and apply it immediately.
It’s proven you are more likely to remember someone if you shake their hand so yes I do.
You don’t always have to give a handshake, but if you do, make it a good one. Firm, but not strong, and always with eye contact.
Well if they give you a limp fish it tells you a lot about them. Specifically they were never taught the firm handshake thing lol.
Answer your own question. Go around limp shaking peoples hands and see who respects you lol
Firm handshake, eye contact and use the persons name. Everything in “How to win friends and influence people” is still important, if not more so, today. All of the stuff may sound cliche, but common sense is not common practice. Those who master the simple stand out and the impacts compound across all parts of life.
Generally, yes.
The Pandemic kinda put a damper in that, in my experience.
Is it “important”? No.
Will it affect my first impression of you? Yes.
I don’t know where your hand has been. Maybe your dog was just licking it after having a big mouthful of its own shit.
The custom has been internalised by insecure management as a sort of dominance ritual, thereby displaying your alpha credentials, or as a way masterfully judging a person’s entire personality by a single handshake.
I’ve seen the cretins that management hire. They can’t judge a person’s character for shit.
I’m in the business world. My rule is to match the other person’s grip. If they are firm, I’m firm. If they are soft, I’m soft.
If you are trying to relate to people, get on their level, and get them to like you, it’s always best to mimic their body language, at least a little.
If you judge someone based off of their handshake… you need to get back to the 1930s.
It’s not that big of a deal.
Most people who care about a “strong handshake” are men who don’t factor in a woman’s hand strength. It’s rooted in sexism.
The owner of the bowling center i used to go to taught me how to give a good handshake. Don’t crush their hand or you come off as a prick. Too loose like a dead fish, and you come off as ‘weak’ or some kind of ‘flake’. It’s another part of bringing in your First Impression and who you are as a person.
I find it hilarious when I go in for a strong “top down” handshake (meaning my hand is “dominant” and comes in palm down) with men over 50. It’s like I’ve cracked some power code and they look at me like wait but you’re a woman? And younger than me? What?
Yes! Handshakes are still good professional greetings. Question for the men: Do other men give limp handshakes to you? They do it to us women sometimes, which is grossly creepy. Curious if they do it to men too.
I think a firm one yes but I often find even older people who do it very soft, and I never feel judgemental towards it, I’m not sure it matters much for most people. But I think you can’t go wrong with a firm one, not too firm tho 😂
I don’t trust peoples hygiene and washing their hands. Also really just despise strangers touching me. I refuse whenever I can
Yes a firm handshake is important.
A man with a limp handshake is not to be trusted.
1000%
It’s like unspoken respect in both directions.
I think the handshake as a greeting is dying out. I feel it was on shaky ground for a while, but covid accelerated the process.
Now, I’m just unsure how to act when I meet someone for the first time.
Usually both of us stand there unsure what to do. If one extends the hand, the other one takes it, and both smile a bit awkwardly.
If no one extends the hand, we both smile awkwardly and there is a void.
Eventually, I think the handshake will be extinct in not so distant future.
It seems men love to share germs.
Depends on what you mean by firm. Anything other than light pressure is rude and inappropriate. You’re not impressing anyone with your grip strength.
Fistbumps are cooler and more hygienic. Let’s use those.
Why would it be outdated? What has taken its place?
In Middle Eastern cultures, shaking hands is a no-no. They don’t want to touch the hand you wipe your butt with 🤣 They have a good point!
Look a man into his eyes and shake his hand. If you can’t do that . . . You’ll get judged subliminally.
Socioculturally, I think most people still consider it important, so I do it out of obligation to make sure they don’t have any reason to think I’m disrespectful.
However, personally I hate it and would much rather not touch anyone’s yucky ass hands, so any opportunity I get to get out of it, I do.
I’m a firm but not hard handshake on the first meeting. Then it goes to pats on back and eventually hugs.
I saw a friend for the first time in a while yesterday. Random passing. Got up gave them a huge hug and introduced myself to their fiancé with a hand shake. But yes, I do think a firm hand shake is still relevant. Especially when meeting Dads.
Yes, the handshake is still important. I don’t trust a limp handshake and an over-zealous handshake makes me wonder what the person is hiding.
The number of people I’ve seen leaving a bathroom without washing has made me way less likely to shake hands. Fist bumps are better.
Yeah, I think a good handshake still matters. It’s not about being old-fashioned — it’s just a quick way to show confidence and respect without saying a word. A weak handshake feels like you don’t even want to be there
The long-archaic idea was to check for weapons, not squeeze so hard you cut yourself on said weapons. Even the confused U.S. police-with-Punisher-logo ask if you have anything that’ll poke them. I suppose that then suggests we’ve become complacent to the point of boredom, so much so that “manly men” try to break hands with a firm shake.
Just use fkin normal handshake. Why are people even fkin putting though in it.
If I am about to shake hands with some macho dude, who I suspect will squeeze really hard and kinda make it a contest, I always try to close my hand early, so I grab his fingers and not his whole palm. He will be unable to squeeze at all, and he will be acutely aware that he just delivered the weakest handshake ever.
You want it to be firm to the point where it feels like both people are actually performing the gesture. You don’t need it to be the Arnold Schwarzenegger + Carl Weathers handshake that could knock down structures (or do you?), but you don’t want a handshake that feels like it’s one person performing the gesture and carrying the other person’s limp hand. You want it to be firm from both people to give a good first impression.
A firm handshake, yes. A weak, squishy handshake tells people you don’t want to be there, and a bone-crushing hand squeeze tells people you’re an asshole. Firm shows interest and respect.
It’s an opening boundary and interest test.
If you shake my hand like you’re trying to show how strong you are you’re an asshole. A good firm shake is plenty manly enough.
Firm grasp, then hold tight, then pull towards you until you’re nose-to-nose, then say with a mean glare:
“I’m coming for your title.”
A strong firm handshake shows enthusiasm on meeting the other person. A sign of great respect for each other which helps make a great first impression.
I always go for firm but I also like to match the vibe of the person. If they’re a limp fish I’ll lessen my handshake to compensate
I’ll do a handshake but I don’t read anymore into it than the suit someone wears. The handshake and suit are costuming. They’re trying to project an image I won’t fall for. I’ll pay attention and get a real read on them.
Absolutely! You look the person in the eyes and give a firm handshake.
Just gotta say, the feeling when you shake someone’s hand and they match you perfectly in timing and firmness is really nice. Instant comrades.
First bump