What’s the weirdest thing you believed as a child?

r/

What’s the weirdest thing you believed as a child?

Comments

  1. riddermarkrider Avatar

    That when someone was pregnant they could decide if they wanted a single baby or twins

  2. Breakribs Avatar

    I thought if you swallowed watermelon seeds, a watermelon would grow in your stomach… was so careful not to swallow any 😂

  3. Sac-vs-Everybody Avatar

    I thought grocery store cashiers gave change back only to people they liked.

  4. Melodic-Strength5511 Avatar

    A 6 ft. Rabbit was coming to my house to bring me a Basket full of candy and a toy😆

  5. FlickOfTheUpvote Avatar

    That a fat man with a white beard would travel on a FLYING sleigh with MAGICAL deers and a big sack with enough presents to gift to all “nice” kids, managing to fly so fast as to deliver all the gifts as ordered by the kids, while having to crawl in and out of chimneys, drinking around 200ml of milk and eating 4 cookies at EACH house + leaving behind coal to all the naughty kids??? That is a lot of coal.

  6. No_Dog7305 Avatar

    You can eat money since it’s made out of mint and gives you fresh breath.

  7. Possible_Focus3497 Avatar

    I used to think my parents prayed to God to have me

  8. Haunting-Data3214 Avatar

    Guacamole was actually monkey snot

  9. Afraid-Drama9877 Avatar

    If you unplugged the TV you could resume your show when you plugged it back in.

  10. Velociraptornuggets Avatar

    I went through 2 years of poo retention (ages 3-5) because I firmly believed that it was not just possible but likely that I could poop out my vital organs

  11. Tiberminium Avatar

    That god existed.

    It was not until I discovered a Wikipedia article on the Roswell UFO incident that I realized only fools practice religion.

  12. brevan_howard Avatar

    that kissing will make you pregnant

  13. sugarbunnypop Avatar

    I thought the moon followed my car everywhere I went.

  14. NewSunSeverian Avatar

    That people were good, deep down. 

  15. Icy-Departure8099 Avatar

    That ppl can see out of glass eyes

  16. CommonLandscape8360 Avatar

    That someone is living inside me and we talk to each other. 😂

  17. Ok-Article-7643 Avatar

    that nurses couldn’t take certain medications

    because commercials would say do not take if pregnant or nursing 😳

  18. bchfn1 Avatar

    That the weather on the day of your birthday was some sort of indication of how good you had been as a person.

  19. ReasonableAnybody650 Avatar

    That the world is fair and you can be successful by treating people with humility and respect

  20. CKrisaegrim_VII Avatar

    If I didn’t fall asleep, the morning would never arrive lol, yeah stupid little me back then.

  21. CroMag84 Avatar

    That adults knew what they were doing.

  22. Ok_Feedback8321 Avatar

    I used to believe that cars automatically started moving when the traffic light turned green.

    I realized that wasn’t true the day someone honked because we weren’t moving at the green light 😅

  23. bobrubber069 Avatar

    That you had to pee in a girl to get them pregnant

  24. flirtyqwerty0 Avatar

    One time I was busting for a wee when my aunty was driving and asked her to pull into a motel or something. She pointed at the sign and said, see how that says no vacancy? That means there’s no toilets. I deadset believed this until I was 13 because I just took it and never thought anything of it. LOL

  25. JackPapidogs Avatar

    That businesses worked for our good

  26. seaotter1978 Avatar

    I read a question/answer thing once about what cashiers were looking for when deciding about accepting a personal check… the answer included a line about the safest people to accept checks from were “well dressed men buying staples”… for years I thought they meant literal staples like you’d put in a stapler… I was much older than I should’ve been when I realized they meant milk, bread, eggs, etc…

  27. Anamazingmate Avatar

    That the moon was made of cheese; I loved watching by Wallace and Gromit – simpler times.

  28. Baron_Harkonnen_84 Avatar

    Kind of NSFW

    But I used to think my dad “peed” inside my stepmom. I told my older brother once that it was convenient if you were married because as a man, if you needed to pee, you could just do it inside your wife.

    My brother only smiled, and told me “That’s not how it works.”

  29. SwitchedintoChaos Avatar

    Dogs are boys and cats are girls

  30. fetishaccthrowaway Avatar

    That I didn’t get a gift from Santa when I was 8 cos I’ve been a naughty kid. Turns out we’re just poor cos my dad’s a gambling addict.

  31. Witty-Season-9542 Avatar

    When actors on a tv show got married, I thought that ceremony meant they were married in real life. Silly kid that I was, knew they were actors but had no idea about marriage licenses and whatnot.

  32. EmCWolf13 Avatar

    That I could control the weather, specifically the rain 🤷‍♀️

  33. hatsprak Avatar

    That everyone is equal

  34. human_trainingwheels Avatar

    All dogs were boys and all cats were girls

  35. stephanonymous Avatar

    I thought that when they say “you may now kiss the bride” in wedding ceremonies, that the kiss itself is what made them married. So I basically thought anytime two people kissed, if they were t already married, they were after that.

  36. wings0flead Avatar

    that all cats were girls & all dogs were boys

  37. Practical_Invite_964 Avatar

    I’ve had Obsessive Compulsive Disorder since I was a little kid, so there’s a lot of weird things I believed.

    “If you eat (certain food item), everyone you love will die and it will be your fault.”

    “Hold your breath when passing the cemetery, or you’ll inhale the spirits and get possessed”

    “You will die any second. Go to the school office and call your dad at work to tell him you love him one last time.”

    “The house pet (who only stays inside) has rabies. You will die.”

    “The TV is watching you.”

    “You’re in a Truman show situation”

    This was a constant battle until I got put on meds at 23.

  38. Desperate_Win_2312 Avatar

    I used to think the full moon would bring werewolves or vampires 😭

  39. Ihavebigcheeks Avatar

    That I’ll be happier as an adult.

  40. RikkiMee Avatar

    That if I swallowed chewing gum I’d die

  41. AppropriateTough6168 Avatar

    That all adults are mature and don’t act like children

  42. olivnoe Avatar

    People in positions of power have intelligence and got there by merit. Wow was I wrong 😕

  43. tequilamockingbird99 Avatar

    I saw Cornish game hens in the grocery store and immediately assumed they were Thanksgiving turkeys for lonely single people.

  44. f4ren_ Avatar

    I genuinely though everything i was watching on my tv was happening right inside my tv as i watched it. Of course we had a masssssive box tv and 4yo me figured it had to be there for a reason.

  45. Floor-tentacool Avatar

    That when I pressed rewind on my remote, the show I was watching had some kind of alert letting them know they had to do the moment again

  46. OrganizationJaded569 Avatar

    The world is flat and the USA capital is in Washington State 🤣

  47. RegularOk3231 Avatar

    Mom’s friend told us that hiccups are caused by a tiny mouse that lives in your tummy and hiccups happen when he pokes you with an umbrella 🤣

  48. Daviino Avatar

    That your ‘brain water’ can run out of your ears, because my mother made a stupid joke when I was little, w/o clearing it up…

  49. Low_Holiday6471 Avatar

    That my parents where heroes

  50. DejectedDreamer327 Avatar

    That pennywise the clown would crawl up my bathtub drain, causing me to avoid being near the drain for many years 😂

  51. Marcodain Avatar

    That the US was worth giving my life health and mental stability for.
    What the Fuk was I thinking?

  52. Snoo41286 Avatar

    That in the olden days, life was really in black and white.

  53. lillathrin Avatar

    That clouds brought night. There always seemed to be clouds on the horizon at dusk. I dunno, it just made sense. I don’t even remember when I stopped thinking it, it wasn’t like it was something I learned otherwise about, it just disappeared.

  54. SanguineSoul013 Avatar

    You could only hunt snipes at night.

  55. ConsistentSchedule92 Avatar

    A carpenter was someone who installed carpets.

  56. HarleySylum Avatar

    I think a lot of people probably heard this one growing up: it’s illegal for your parents to drive the car while the light was on inside.

    I loved reading as a kid and when it would get dark, I’d want to turn the light on inside the cab… oh no, don’t do that, we will get pulled over by the cops.

    WHY DID SO MANY PARENTS TELL US THIS?!?!.

  57. nut_buster__ Avatar

    If I turned on the fan vent thingy in the bathroom the gremlins from the 1984 gremlins movie would climb through the vents and kill me however every time I flushed It would reset them

  58. Asleep_Age_4255 Avatar

    That I was talking to my grandmas cat on the phone when I called her! I believed the cat was really meowing back until I was like 14 and realized it was her meowing at me the whole time lol

  59. summerset Avatar

    When they said a convict got “Life plus ten years” that when they died they left the body in the cell for another ten years.

  60. Njtotx3 Avatar

    There was a large bear under my blankets and if I opened the door to basement, a tiger would rush me.

  61. OrganizationJaded569 Avatar

    Also if I closed my eyes trying to hide from someone it meant they couldn’t see me since I couldn’t see them

  62. opal1011 Avatar

    -I thought that if I had to pee really bad and I ate something it would absorb it.

    • I also thought if you drive faster it would be less time AND miles to get there
  63. PrestigiousLynx3308 Avatar

    As a child, I took “drinking and driving” literally. Being 4 or 5 in the backseat of my aunt’s car and watching her drink a mcdonalds pop sent me into a panic. She thought it was hilarious but kindly explained to me it meant alcohol and driving lmao.

  64. BrendanD2001 Avatar

    I wanna say bionicle but idk im still not convinced

  65. Ecstatic-Soft4909 Avatar

    That the soul was an actual organ shaped like the liver and hanging out in the guts somewhere.

  66. macyyxx Avatar

    My mom tried to explain how a baby is made in kid terms. She said there’s an egg, kinda like the size of a little peanut from the mom, and there’s something like a fish from the dad. So when they meet up inside mom’s belly, it makes a baby. 

     I thought that’s why we don’t mix nuts with fish in our cooked dishes and eat them.

  67. Ald0xito_LovEr Avatar

    I believed that humans were made of thread and that when we had a wound they would have to sew us again like a shirt HAHAHA

  68. knl280 Avatar

    I thought men could only drive and would find it weird when I saw a woman driving.

  69. jbroombroom Avatar

    I thought people came out of the womb fully clothed, since everyone always had clothes on and treated being naked like it was weird or temporary. I also thought that my dad was older than my mom because he was bigger so he must have been born before her and started growing first. In a similar assumption based on anecdotally observed correlation, my three year-old was telling me that he still had his name because he didn’t grow bigger like me but when he gets bigger then his name will be Daddy like me. While explaining it, he was clearly sad—but accepting of the fact—that you have to give up your name at a certain size and have to go by “Daddy” or “Mommy” depending on your gender.

  70. ultraclassic07 Avatar

    That the music coming from our radio was a live band. I thought how do they get all those people to play so many songs. Now this was am radio only way before fm

  71. Brainiac11 Avatar

    That white dogs did white dog poos

  72. Violet-is-here Avatar

    One day we would be just a film series or a tv show and that Toy Story would be real life.

  73. Orionyss22 Avatar

    That everyone would find reciprocated romantic love eventually

  74. InfiniteBackspace Avatar

    That all families owned their own business.

    No, despite how pretentious that all sounds my family owned a single mom and pop pizzeria. And I had very few friends whose parents also happened to own their own modest small business. I wouldn’t say I was a dumb kid, just sheltered.

  75. Adept_Strength_8056 Avatar

    some kid at my church told me that if i ate a marshmallow off of the ground i’d grow hair in my throat. i’m pretty sure he just wanted the marshmallows to himself.

    i obviously know that’s not true, but i still won’t eat any marshmallows that have been on the floor

  76. feelingityet Avatar

    That you wake up every morning with no previous memories

  77. tarammarion Avatar

    My dad told me that if I ate my toast crusts, I’d be able to whistle.

  78. Own-Ad-7127 Avatar

    That the second wife/husband was always the step parent. My uncle was married before, and I automatically assumed she was my cousins’ mom, and not my aunt. That was not the case. They’re all older than me except one, so I thought all of the drama happened before I was born. 

  79. Royal_Raspberry_90 Avatar

    That Head & Shoulders shampoo was for washing your hair and your shoulders.

  80. PapiBoredApe Avatar

    most people that lived in Texas wore cowboy boots/hats and used horses as transportation and in reality I’ve seen it more in rural indiana (Amish) than I ever did in Texas.

  81. Cup_Realistic Avatar

    That girls also had dicks

  82. rosaluxificate Avatar

    That a woman would get pregnant when she kissed the groom on the altar during their wedding.

  83. CarboDiemFSM Avatar

    Santa Claus the tooth fairy the Easter Bunny and Jesus.

  84. Spirited_Flower6914 Avatar

    When I was really little, I would cry whenever anyone blew a bubble with their bubblegum as I thought it was their insides coming out. I’d also cry anytime someone ate a Snickers bar because I thought the caramel was snot.🤷‍♀️

  85. AuRyn22 Avatar

    I once wish to climbe a Cloud which I saw on a little hill. As I was in the peak of the hill I realised the cloud ist above the next Hill and I just have to walk up on this Hill to finally climbe the Clouds.. but I was fear to run too far away from Home and decided to do not because it could bring worry to my Mom and let it be…

  86. UltimateFartingChamp Avatar

    That some weirdo with wings and a wand came into my room at night, and traded me a few bucks for the tooth I lost earlier that day…

    Wtf kind of acid laced fever dream of an idea even is that?

  87. klingggg Avatar

    That hell laid beneath the pealing linoleum in our kitchen floor

  88. Particular_Room_933 Avatar

    I believed the overflow holes in the sink led to the sewer, and the sewer had alligators. So, I would splash water into the hole to tease the alligators. Lmao

  89. Sttrawberrymilkk Avatar

    my mom told me if I didn’t brush my teeth before bed, that the sugar around my mouth will attract roaches, and they’ll lick the sugar off.

  90. Moveyourbloominass Avatar

    When I first started watching Donny and Marie Osmond, I thought they were husband & wife, not siblings. I thought Marie married into the singing family. 😆

  91. sailskihike Avatar

    Detroit was another part of New York City. My dad would often do day trips there, and would talk about having to go to Detroit in the morning. (He worked in Manhattan). I just thought it was another borough of NYC.

  92. tuckyruck Avatar

    All cats were girls and all dogs were boys.

    No idea. No idea how I thought that worked, but it was well known in my mind.

  93. wtfrickdoiknow Avatar

    At a centennial parade they had a large group of people in Victorian clothing, I swore they used a time machine to bring those people from 1866 back for the parade!

  94. Wbarlowe18 Avatar

    Sex is when you touch fronts

  95. Fedupgranny1959 Avatar

    That the world was fair

  96. Low-Willingness-2301 Avatar

    I was terrified of the rapture. My parents were in their “born again” phase during my childhood.

  97. PatrickMorris Avatar

    My seven year old was telling me a few weeks ago about all the rocket trails (contrails)in the sky. I kind of liked his idea of a world with rockets flying around everyday 

  98. Bellend__ Avatar

    When I was about 4, my mum told me she was the woman in the video for Meatloaf’s ‘I Would Do Anything for Love (but I Won’t Do That’. Believed that for most of my childhood.

  99. Ryastor Avatar

    Had to sleep with my hand covering my ear so the Animorph slugs didn’t go in there at night

  100. koinu-chan_love Avatar

    There were monsters under my bed, but not under my little sister’s. We shared a room, and our beds touched in an L shape. Somehow there was a boundary that they could reach through but not cross. My sister was very pleased to hear that! She was less pleased when I crawled across her to get back into my own bed.

  101. inviolablegirl Avatar

    That babies were injected into a woman’s stomach by a doctor

  102. Zombie-squad1991 Avatar

    That cops are good, that politicians work for us…..

  103. Lethalmouse1 Avatar

    That if you had a non visual knowledge, horror type bad guys can’t get you. 

    To mean, in movies like Freddy Kruger, he always pops up behind you to reveal when you look. If you know he isn’t there for sure, he can’t be there. 

    So like if you turn over in bed, if you put your arm behind you, there’s no space for the bad guy to appear. 

  104. FriendlyRiothamster Avatar

    In 4th grade, our teacher explained that the umbilical cord of the child is linked to the mother and provides all the nutrients. I asked where it was located, and the teacher said dryly that it was at the navel.
    I grew up believing that the baby’ navel is linked to the mother’s navel through the umbilical cord. I could not fathom how this would provide the child with anything other than air, but I never doubted my teacher’s words.
    I realised very, very late that the cord goes to the placenta, which made way more sense but was way less funny to imagine.

  105. umtheavacado Avatar

    The cucuy LIVED at walmart and was watching for us.

  106. Sassafrass17 Avatar

    That as I got older, people were definitely going to be nicer, kinder, and smarter. WRONG.

  107. ShutYoFaceGrandma Avatar

    That pictures could see me.

  108. netnut58 Avatar

    Women give birth via their butthole. Some neighbor girls, when I was 8 or so, were talking secretly. One of them must have just got “the sex talk” from her mom. I kept begging them to tell me what they were whispering about. Finally one said “babies come out of a lady’s butt.” At the time it seemed to make perfect sense to me. Not till a few years later when me and some guy were looking at a porn magazine (stolen from his dad) did I learn the truth when he pointed to a woman’s vagina and said “that’s where you put you d*ck then later the baby comes out”.

  109. Over_Cake9611 Avatar

    Bubble gum doesn’t digest and sits in your stomach. You can’t swim within 30 minutes of eating.

  110. starsofreality Avatar

    Random but I just watched a documentary on it and hadn’t followed the story since it happened in the 90s. I was a young and very naive teenager at the time. I genuinely believed that everyone saw Monica Lewinsky as a victim and she had a voice. I had zero clue she also was put into legal trouble for lying for him. And I didn’t realize people hated her and called her names because they believed she tried to hurt the president’s career. Granted most of my take on the situation came from Oprah. I also had no idea what exactly was special about the dress or what sex act did happen. Again SUPER naive. I think it’s weird because other people my age understood way more about the scandal and got Monica was treated poorly.

    I also as a kid up until Clinton scandal believed Watergate had to do with actual water. That it was something to do with exposing something to do with water. I didn’t get more specific in my thoughts just water was involved. That’s weird because why wouldn’t I acquire more details before settling on water.

  111. pinkfoil Avatar

    My bed was pushed up against the wall and I would sleep as close to the edge away from the wall as I could because I thought skeletons would come up from the wall side. I have no idea why I had that fear but it was real, and lasted for a while.

  112. Reasonable-Mine7150 Avatar

    If someone crosses my legs when I am sleeping/ laying down my height growth will stop unless they do it again to undo it

  113. burgerdistraction Avatar

    I thought everything on tv was real, and that anime or cartoons were a realm to another dimension that we for some reason have footage of.

    I was 6 lol

  114. GulliblePianist2510 Avatar

    That pee came out of my lady hole.

    Had no idea it had its own hole until I first used a mirror as a teenager.

    Thank you Bible Belt upbringing 😶

  115. SparkleNshimmer Avatar

    I believed cauliflower was vanilla broccoli 🤦🏽‍♀️

  116. Inside-Lanky Avatar

    Ciara had a dick

  117. EmphasisOutside9728 Avatar

    “Don’t drink and drive” meant any beverage.

  118. psychorant Avatar

    until like 3 years ago i thought cans of tuna were a mix of the unwanted parts of different fish

  119. Forsaken-Thought-121 Avatar

    Back then, I thought that kissing would make a girl pregnant. Dang these TV drama series

  120. Klutzy_Security_9206 Avatar

    UK: Aged around 5 I was accompanying my parents around a furniture store and saw one I liked.

    I reached into my pocket for the correct change and made my way over to the till. Through this attempted transaction I discovered that it’s called a “Three Piece Suite” not “3p suite”.

  121. Short-Chocolate-603 Avatar

    Pregnant women had swallowed a watermelon seed! 😆

  122. longleggedwader Avatar

    My mother was diabolical in the best way. She told all of us kids, including the neighborhood kids, that when you lost a tooth, if you didn’t stick your tongue in the hole, it would grow in a gold tooth.

    It was the 70s. We believed anything.

  123. Mrbnfl Avatar

    That a man had to pee on a woman to her get her pregnant/was sex.

  124. DarkMatter665 Avatar

    Me telling my parents id never drink or do drugs. I hit puberty and made it my mission to try everything i could get my hands on.

  125. H3rta Avatar

    That sleeping in the same bed as someone of the opposite sex would make you pregnant.

  126. Initial-Address2214 Avatar

    That people were genuinely friendly

  127. Whatever-57 Avatar

    That all dogs were male and all cats were female!

  128. H3rta Avatar

    That teachers slept at the school.

  129. logging9n Avatar

    When I was a kid my cousin told me that inside every popcorn kernel there’s a little devil, and when you heat him up he gets mad and POPS, and that’s how we get popcorn. Believed it for years.

  130. Apollon_hekatos Avatar

    When I was really young I thought there was this pair of women spirits that would check on kids at 3:00 AM to make sure they’re sleeping.

    No one ever told me this. I think I came to this realization one night because in my half dream/half awake state I thought they had visited me.

  131. Farmer_Ted_ Avatar

    Read this to my wife. She said there was a girl down the street when she was growing up who had big nostrils. Her dad told her it was because she picked her nose.

  132. CzechHovester Avatar

    I didn’t really get weddings. I thought there was literally a 50/50 chance that either person would say yes. I didn’t get that the engagements were usually long and both people already knew they wanted to get married. So when the priest would say “do you take…” and the person would say “I do” I would be so relieved.

  133. curiouscanadian2022 Avatar

    I thought cigarettes that had an orange filter was for women and the white filters were for men

    Also when I was 4-5 there was an Asian women holding on umbrella in the sun and I asked my mom why she was holding it , and my mom said it’s only raining on them. And I believe it

  134. Angry_Bowel_Movent Avatar

    That there were these little crab-like creatures in the forest with suction cups instead of claws. Their suction cups were so powerful that they could suck you into the forest from a very long distance, due to some powerful reverse air wave emitted from the cups. Once they got hold of you they would suck all the blood out of your body.

    My best friend at the time had a very vivid imagination, and I was kind of dumb so I believed this was true 😂

  135. devilishcries Avatar

    i thought that the food you swallowed traveled down your front then went around to your back to be pooped out 💀

  136. Boring-Exchange4928 Avatar

    If you unscrew your belly button, your bum will fall off.

  137. mkgearhead1 Avatar

    Where do I begin? Quicksand, spontaneous human combustion, the list goes on and on.

  138. pinniped90 Avatar

    I believed that a Broadway show meant one that took place on Broadway Street in my town (which was nowhere near New York).

  139. Imaginary_Attempt_82 Avatar

    I thought my eyes didn’t move for the longest time because I couldn’t see them move in the mirror.

  140. tootie1978 Avatar

    That the space rockets were built in the Astrodome in Houston.

  141. tangerinemargarine Avatar

    I thought trees created wind. They’re moving, it’s windy. Like giant fans.

  142. brithuman Avatar

    That there was a guy who sat in an office controlling all the traffic lights!

  143. Goddessviking86 Avatar

    A friend of mine after reading The Witches believed all chocolate was laced with the witches potion to turn people into mice and the friend avoided chocolate at all costs.

  144. USS-24601 Avatar

    2 from my catalog of odd beliefs-
    I thought all people with dark brown hair were from NY. I thought we were one of each animal- a squirrel, a cow, etc. (I strongly believed this one, no idea where it came from).

  145. Rziggity Avatar

    i thought life used to exist in black and white.

  146. Substantial-Base-696 Avatar

    life would be easier if i was an adult.

  147. Agent007007007 Avatar

    Quicksand! It was all over movies and we never questioned it

  148. sokeefealltheway Avatar

    My mum would always tell me when I was a kid that if I didn’t dry my hair properly, the water would seep into my brain and make me insane.
    It took me until 9 years old to realise that that, along with about 1000 other stuff my mum said, was BS.

    Funniest part is, my mum wasn’t the type of lady to lie about that type of thing to kids. She genuinely believed it. Still does, actually – she’s also not the type of person who believes she could be proven wrong by someone younger than her.

  149. Gocards123321 Avatar

    That despite how shitty my life was that one day it would all work out and I’d find love and happiness but I still feel just as lost and worthless.